/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #3090

>post your face when the burger actually stops containing anything because the food stops coming

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So, how does one go about getting tested?

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Shit tier

500 000 if current trends continue

Brazillians are the enemy.

but its starting to peter out now?

END the SHUTDOWNS!

R I G H T - F U C K I N G - N O W - D A M M I T !!!

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>Blacks are 30% in Chicago but 72% of the deaths
So it's just like the stats behind the daily shootings then

Sounds gay.

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I fucking hate not being american

Sucks to be you, I'm gonna rest my head in the lap of mine later on and drift off to sleep while she scratches my scalp.

Thanks fren u can pet my cat

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FUCK NOTHINGBURGERS

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Imagine having so little saved up and stockpiled you can't take a few month vacation in your house without getting evicted.

get a coof and fever first

Depends on how fast deaths decrease. If we maintain 7000 deaths a day all the way through April and May without any increases/decreases we'll be at 452,000 by June 1st

Check.

I'm very jealous.

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*I* *HOPE* *YOUR* *SHIT* *MOLDS* !!!

FUCK YOU HOARDERS!!!

A S S H O L E S !!!

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India and Africa will rise in the coming weeks

We just broke 7k recorded deaths per day, user. Peter out how?

bump

Coof on somebody important.
Might be hard to find them in the open tho.

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man, I had my oneitis do that to me, why are you making me feel this, I want this world to burn away already

Likewise.
I haven't even held a woman's hand. (Excluding my mom and grandmother.)

Maybe in clown world. Otherwise, she's on schedule and under budget.

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Thanks for posting your mandatory donation on Yas Forums. We will be coming to pick it up soon!

michigan.gov/coronavirus/0,9753,7-406-98163_98173---,00.html

check out Michigan

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imagine someone like ME showing up at YOUR DOOR, BEATING THE *FUCK* OUT OF YOU, STEALING YOUR HOARDS OF SHIT, and making YOU FUCKING STARVE YOU ASSHOLE!!!

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No one important where I live. Sorry to disappoint.

Well, don't bother getting tested, you are half dead already. Maybe do your will and buy a nice casket? Tests are for the rich and famous anyway.

When will we need to use our PrEPs?

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Shitty virus barely broke 7k

300 billion

it hasnt grown in the last 3 days.

She made muffins this morning and brought one to me at my desk while they were still warm.

How you going to spend Friday user?
I plan on waking up to check the progress on the mass graves and see who else is still buying China's faulty PPE. Will probably do some light exercise and cook something new for lunch, the world is my oyster.
Enjoy being essential labor wagies.

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Haha actual nothingburger. And actually, sweetie, Germany isn't fucking with their numbers but they are in fact way more trustworthy than Italy and all the other countries. Take the redpill.

youtube.com/watch?v=C2PmtcELvNA

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This. Better to not know than have and lost in my opinion.

Back to work

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my dad went to med school with marc siegel
here's a pic from their yearbook - dad says he was a real hippie, pot-smoking, laid back, counter-culture type

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It's okay bro.

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come and take it, noplan nigger

It doesn't burn, it rots away in a bloody, pungent mess

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WE DO NOT NEED NO STINKING "TESTING"

Instead, WE NEED TO DROP THE SHUTDOWN SHIT!

LET US WORK!

We are READY!
a) hydroxychloroquine
b) hospital supply lines
c) hospital beds UNUSED nationwide
d) hospitals LAYING PEOPLE OFF because of LOW DEMAND

WE ARE READY!

UNLEASH THE ECONOMY!

LET US WORK!!!
(fax graphic to your governor please)

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Can you get a better shot of your legs already

still waiting on africa to take off.
should be a nice spike.

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We memed a non-happening into the happening of the century.

Death to murica and cuckold union!

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Fuck these shutdowns, that ICU bed is mine and I want it now!

my girl has had a sore throat all day, said it hurts really bad to even talk. no other obvious symptoms. is this typical or is the throat soreness with covid more mild?

pm's gonna extend it today. there's now way were gonna be free, especially before raya

492 of those deaths were negroes. Corona is literally the black plague.

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Reading the Bible and eating fish. Good Friday is a national holiday here.

It'll increase as more countries get higher infections. Lots of high population countries are at the beginning of their epidemics.

Nothingburgerfags sure are getting desperate with their spam

I didn't mean to upset you fren, just the spam poster. But take heart, if a fellow Yas Forumsack can rein in his autism enough to land a wife, so can you.

I like how when DAP says they want the MCO lifted, almost every boomer who commented lose their shit

I do think the extension would be more lax in Green Zones tho

Are you aware Mendel very likely fudged the numbers because mathlets don't understand how shit happens in the real world?

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black lives doesnt matter

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It won't ever happen, they need to comply to be tested. The niggs wont let anyone shove a stick into their head to be tested, they will shoot the tester before that occurs. They will simply die in mass, then we will test the bodies to see what they died of.

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dont vacin caus autisms?

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>NHS officials say Muslims are hardest hit in the UK
>archive.is/sOlOC

sounds good to me

Fever? Check for other systems. Anyone have that chart of symptoms for different diseases?

In a month or so, when the supply chains fall apart due to infection and second wave hit.

The guy who made this post jacks off to anime kitten girls and calls others degenerates on a venetian basket weaving forum.

I'll be fasting for another week. I made a water fast of one week but I cut it out, now I'll see how far I can progress dry fasting.
I have to fast 40 days and so far I only did 8

yep.
like china we'll never know the real numbers.

Once food chains start breaking down. Until then keep buying food as normal whilst slowly building up stockpile. If nothing happens you just eat that shit over the next year or two

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Africa will have zero population within 2 years.

We know from the diamond princess and south korea that the CFR with best medical care is ~2% and that between 10-20% of infected require medical care. That is dramatically worse than the flu. Don't pretend you understand more than you do, retard.

i love thinking of the pipsqueak smalldicks who post these images acting like they're the cool ones who really get it maaan but will be the first to have their throats slit when shtf

>multiple countries admitting to not counting certain cases(dying at hospital only, using preexisting conditions, etc)
>ecuador already burning bodies in the street while their numbers say only 272 deaths and 5000 infections
This isn’t plague inc. theres no magic counter that keeps track of every death and infection in the world

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>he didn't brep despite the thread having tried to beat it into your dense head since january

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So, are the govs making a profit out of the entire pandemic? Like, not having to pay any pensions to all the boomers and so on. Feels like they would have a true incentive to keep this around to maximise returns in the long run.

don't worry user, you already have autism.

no fever, said she felt a little achy but she's also been laying around all day so her body could just be a little stiff. it's just her throat. I should mention one of her co-workers tested positive (she doesn't work around him) yet the store is still open. it's also a high risk public job so, I'm worried.

you wish

>jannies are Q fags
lmfao

Lol

A crude method of gauging the death count will be the food trafic to the markets, and their sales. They tax the food carts in the market, so they will see a lack of sales if the population begins to die.
Yes I know there is many flaws in that form of tracking but it's the best system we can use on the niggers.

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I do, but it will/is wreaking havoc in africa right now.
I pray to "god" that Truymp pulls WHO funding, just so Africa suffers more.

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>Dead: 95,869
lol, still only 95,869.
How many days has it been stuck at 95,869? Four days? Five days?

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You've been warned to prep.

its also likley death certs are being fudged. instead of
>had stroke but died due to covid19 complications
its turning into
>died of convid19 also had pre existing medical issues.

>1,341 new deaths in France
wow

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Better safe than sorry. Sore throat is actually a common symptom but I'm looking for that chart with all the common symptoms for flu-like diseases.

Is she able to taste salty things? That's a unique symptom.

hot

Unlikely. They will never have enough testing to contribute any substantial "official" numbers. Hell, Ecuador officially has 272 total deaths.

It's no wonder that normies are going stir-crazy in the dullest pandemic in recorded history.
Seriously each /cvg/ thread following the adventures of Coronachan and her pals from the Wuhan Institute of Virology as they infect the respiratory tracts of another country has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the repetitive OP links, the generals’ only consistency has been its feverish doom-mongering and misleading use of statistical projections, all to make a happening seem to happen, to make the burger seem to have meat.

Perhaps the die was cast when Bill Gates vetoed the idea of Frank Plummer incorporating real HIV elements into design of the virus; he made sure the virus would never be mistaken for an actual threat that meant anything to anybody - just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his ID2020 scheme. The Great Big Coronavirus Scare might be primarily anti-Chinese (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-happening in its refusal of wonder, excitement and real terror. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thanks to the wind going out of Coronachan's sails, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the longer term effects are serious though

"No!" The lung damage is trifling; the neurological effects non-existent. As I read /cvg/, I noticed that every time acquired immunity was mentioned, a poster would instantly reply with "ADE".

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that abbreviation was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. The /cvg/ poster's mind is so governed by cliches and stale speculations that he has no other mode of thought. Later I read a lavish, loving video about /cvg/ by none other than Steve Lookner. He said something to the effect of, "I've been seeing reports of PERMANENT NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE from Covid-19." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you post on /cvg/ you are, in fact, being trained to watch Steve Lookner.

t. seething no nobeenz cuck
>he thought the supermarket would never not be stocked with food
hehehe

>I didn't mean to upset you fren, just the spam poster.
Mission accomplished.

>Gary: Gary
lol, still only Gary
How many Garies has it been stuck at Gary? Four Garies? Five Garies?

You're late

greater death causes greater birthrates so unless it kills all of them and really quick you are about to get very disappointed

what is the guys twitter who posts the 1million etc corona chan art?

fuck off, filthy cipayo

Your dad is Robertson, right?
Also checked

pls fuck off and go choke on a big D in that order

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I dunno man, jigaboos are pretty prone to killing each other when shit seems hopeless.

>implying i'm not prepped out the asshole and just laughing at you faggots who fancy yourselves soldiers and vanguards.
You know you're the dumb cow in the pink top. The men in uniform are every chad you ever wished you could be who settled down with a family. Just admit it.

mobile.twitter.com/floydcardoz/status/1233942170270359552
lol it was real. I just wanted to confirm.

Best I could find. Those schizos flooded the archives with symptoms of microwave radiation.

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the economy doesn't work like that dumb dumb

The fuck France

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Buy JEWS
TheHoloCoin.net

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which ones will admit to that?
seeing alot of mass migration internally around there in the future.

>marc siegel

literally who?

If I was american, I could have easily got a job after getting out of highschool, bought whatever gun I pleased with no regulations, and have prepared for the apocalypse
4 years searching for a job and nothing, and now it's all gonna fall over me

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Also fever, cough, and shortness of breath are the absolute most common symptoms.

I hope those seats were cushioned

Are you at least armed with pitchfork? It makes for a GOAT weapon.

Make a Gun.

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6 gorillion