Complex- PTSD AMA

I have been adament about not seeking help. they all say the same thing, do I refused to proceed.

it was a series of events in very close proximity to one another and then three in a row that crippled me.

>As they say, time heals all wounds
I have noticed that with time it does get more bearable.

>the reason you think about it all the time is a self protect mechanism.
I believe you. negative experiences are remembered more strongly than positive ones so that we avoid conditions leading up to the negative experiences. I learned that decades ago

onsidering that you were non functional for a protracted period speaks pretty strongly about how severe your PTSD was
I was completely non functional for 8 months, then managed to pull myself together for two months after that. reading an independent media work managed to rekindle a fire in me (I'm sure it was just the right place and time) and I began trying again. the passion I had before. prior to that a day didn't go by when I didn't consider the option of going out in the woods and blowing my brains out.

I followed a hobby obsessively. I don't know why. all I did was eat sleep and do that. I had become interested in it months before, but it was just an interest. after the events, it became an obsession. I didn't work, I ate through my life savings (destroying or at least delaying my future prospects in the meantime) as a coping method, I'm sure.

on the bright side, my goals have changed. I have a new long term objective. and I am very, very good at my new hobby.

"Real" Diagnosis YET, only due to the DSM handbook, which is only used for medical insurance and legal purposes.

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Yes this is PTSD! What you are experiencing is a flashback. Therapy is the best method for healing this.

Yes I experience this but to a point where it is nearly debilitating. There are Flashbacks of the event, but I also experience "Emotional Flashbacks", where it is the FEELING of terror/horror but no memories or visual images. This happens to me all day. It's hard for me to focus at work and remember to cook food for myself etc.

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>daily thoughts and reminders can last a long time.
it will be a full year(-ish, the events happened over the course of about a month) in a short time now. I spent 8 months completely unable to do anything but my obsession, 2 months dragging myself up from the gutter and two months now I've held a good job and been on top of my obligations and responsibilities.

>Therapy is the best method for healing this
I am my own therapist. thanks though.
(I have trust issues)

>I also experience "Emotional Flashbacks", where it is the FEELING of terror/horror but no memories or visual images.
that must suck. that does not happen to me. my negative emotions are always connected to remembering what happened.
>This happens to me all day. It's hard for me to focus at work and remember to cook food for myself etc.
I'm sorry. how long ago did your "event" happen to you?

The goal of therapy is to build a trusting relationship with another person (if you choose). My first year with my current therapist was very impersonal, but lately we've been getting to know each other and it's awesome and healing. He's a really good guy, and we get to talk about how much sucks to be white men right now haha

>The goal of therapy is to build a trusting relationship with another person (if you choose).
OK. that wouldn't work for me. I know that by function it is truly impossible for one person to understand another, no matter how much it seems like they do.
>you are born alone, you live alone, and you die alone. and no-one is coming to save you.

>I'm sorry. how long ago did your "event" happen to you?

Thanks for sending your regards. They really do mean a lot to a lot of us

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These types of thoughts are part of your PTSD. We end up isolating ourselves, and how we do this is by believing that other people can't understand us. We heal through community, not is isolation

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ah. so you had your interpretation of reality altered in your formative years, thus being damned for life to a twisted interpretation of reality. that sucks.

I found some friends many years ago that were raising a beautiful family despite their troubles, and watching them grow, change and suceed despite the system weighed against them gave me a measure of hope. I was privileged enough to watch them raise their children in a loving home that they never had and build a life all from scratch. it changed me. I am lucky for just having known them. they are probably some of the best people in the world, looking at it from outside.

>We heal through community, not is isolation
I prefer a very light social life,as I have always been introverted.
I have a few very close friends rather than a group of loose acquaintances. they have been as supportive as they could be, from thousands of miles away.
>life is shit, and then you die.

PTSD is the result of a weak mind.
Also NOT POLITICS.

Fuck off to tumblr with this bullshit

LOL not real huh.

I have a nervous tremor now that I can't control, literally like the sterotypical caricature of a returned soldier with shell shock. Twists my head, and I keep biting my fucking tongue by accident when it happens. Neck is always fucked now from it. Everytime I get this rush of thoughts, I can't stop it.

I basically get the fight or flight response from almost everything some days. All the well intentioned therapy over 2 years has done nothing. The endless medications have just fucked my liver and kidneys, both of which now always return bad values.

I don't know what the answer is. Just wish I could be with my kids, and in peace, and not deal with other people ever again

>I have a few very close friends rather than a group of loose acquaintances
Good for you. I did the acquaintance life. It sucks.

How do you feel to talking about your PTSD to those friends? Would you be willing to text them "I think I have PTSD, can you help me?" and tell me the results? I'd love to see what genuine friends are like

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whatever you say, young'un.

What the fuck is this thread? OP, I'd venture to guess at least 80% of the board has panic attacks before bed every night. That's what this place is. Notice though, nobody's making threads about it. They're making threads about politically relevant shit. Because this is a politically relevant board. Hope you get well soon - CBD or meds like buspirone keep the panic down - but stop shitting up the board any more than it already is. Heed that one anons advice and go talk to a psych kike for a while. Worth a shot.

>How does your country treat mental health?
Depends on the state
>Have you ever been hospitalized?
Many times
PTSD, MDD, Social Anxiety, anorexia

I'm 40 you fucking tumblrite, take your bullshit snowflake self-diagnosis back to your blog, homo.

are u good at social interaction?

I was wondering how people's countries health care system addresses mental health. Doing an AMA can make it interesting

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow idk even know why I made it. Trying to get some meds to control my anxiety, agitation focus I guess?

Good for you. Recognizing and admitting there is a problem is hard. Why did you choose a psychiatrist over a therapist?

>How do you feel to talking about your PTSD to those friends?
I explained what happened to them but I hadn't considered that maybe I had some symptoms of PTSD until I could examine myself again from a logical perspective. I talked about my experiencesto them and it was met with kind words, but not true understanding even though we'd basically grown up together.

> Would you be willing to text them "I think I have PTSD, can you help me?"
no, because I am recovering. the only one that can help you is yourself. when I need help I ask for it and it is usually with worldly things. my mind is untouchable.

>and tell me the results? I'd love to see what genuine friends are like

I know them pretty well. here is what they would most likely say, as word for word as I can imagine. (I'm sorry for you that you had to ask that question)

A:
>"Absolutely brotha. Anything. Need me to come up there? want to come down here? I got a bed waiting for you or I/we can head up. I can call someone, maybe they're around."

I think that's what they'd say. and they'd really genuinely mean it. and they'd do it.
I'm sorry you don't have that. I never really considered how lucky I am to have someone that would say that to me. I will call and thank them tomorrow. Thank you.

>40 you fucking tumblrite
bullshit

>idk even know why I made it
you feelin' down user?

>I think that's what they'd say. and they'd really genuinely mean it. and they'd do it.

Fuck yeah user. It makes me so happy to hear people are having relationships like this.

it took years of collaberative kind acts though.

also, when I said "I'm sorry for you" I actually am not. I am sorry THAT that is your situation.

I find pity insulting and am offended when people express pity to me and others. I do NOT pity you. it just sucks that this is how the world is and you just happened to draw a short straw.
>life happens, shit goes on.

Americans are such faggots, they all claim PTSD

I wasn't looking for pity. It's the fact that you acknowledged that it sucks and you understood. That's what was helpful.

>I wasn't looking for pity.
I know. I just wanted to clarify it. I didn't want to insult you.

tell you what. look the most important person in you life right in the eye after they rip your face apart and then put a shotgun slug in their face.
then get back to me.

Your dog bit you?

and I'd do the same for them if I was physically able. I would sacrifice all of my material possessions and quit my job, and give them every penny I owned if they legitimately, genuinely needed me to. (they have kids, I don't)

I'll tell them that tomorrow.

shortly after 3 of my family members died in immediate succession, my company failed after being indebted to me for $thousands, I was evicted because I was near mortally injured by other means, crippling me for 6 weeks, rendering me homeless confined to a tent on state land, and the dog (a collie) had already hospitalized an old lady. it's literally an act of god she didn't sue me.

but essentially. yes.
and then I cried for two weeks straight every day. and then my lung collapsed from crying and I racked up a $58,000 hospital bill overall, which by the skin of my teeth I managed to avoid paying.

but no, it's just because I'm a faggot american. right?

This is the worst website to talk about this stuff on. People here will talk shit immediately. Have you tried other websites or forums?

everyone has problems. get over yourself.

>People here will talk shit immediately.
good. it's healthy. grow some hair on your nuts.

besides. you vaguely outlined your problems.

Why are you a weak-willed bitch?

AND besides... YOU started the thread.

if you want some help with your ptsd I highly suggest looking into microdosing Psilocybin, large trips help also 5+ grams will set you straight real quick but youll be in a for a ride.

When you downward spiral it's amazing how quickly people will let go of you and will almost push you down like a merry go round of misery. Making it faster and imparting their pain onto you. For people who aren't a constant drain on others it's a sad sight to behold.

One way to get through it is to see suicide and doing nothing as being too easy. I would tell my self "it's too easy" at low points in my life. I felt like I was in a game and my "friends" outside of the matrix would dog me for giving up. "Fuck it." and go back in. Laugh all you want, but when you're down who gives a shit what others think. It's you that's going to get you out of it.. not them.

Lastly, realize that people spiral for a lot less than what you went through. It's all relative. Congrats you made it this far with that much shit.

More people released from jail have PTSD than soldiers.

T. Felon

Most forums / websites are like this. People are a shitty lot these days. No one listens to them so they "medicate" by shitting on others.

>it's amazing how quickly people will let go of you and will almost push you down like a merry go round of misery.
remarkably that didn't happen to me. I was very lucky.

>PROTIP: be kind to strangers

>these days.
you must be new to the internet. I was fighting with strangers about how gay their obsession with the word "jizz" was back in '00

I don't doubt it.

what'd you do?

>One way to get through it is to see suicide and doing nothing as being too easy. I would tell my self "it's too easy" at low points in my life. I felt like I was in a game and my "friends" outside of the matrix would dog me for giving up. "Fuck it." and go back in. Laugh all you want, but when you're down who gives a shit what others think. It's you that's going to get you out of it.. not them.

wow holy shit dude. you need new friends.

time is relative. I'm talking about society in general. 100 years ago. I'm sure you've been talking to morons for years.

>100 years ago. I'm sure you've been talking to morons for years
>there were no morons 100 years ago
yeah...

If is funny how people like this live to tell their stories; and inevitably their stories will be most false. They will practice their narratives constantly, and live to repeat them.

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Yeah I speak mostly of my past and what I've seen in others. Thanks for concern. I took the long road in learning about people and life. Some people never see or experience that however so it may sound extreme to them.

>Lastly, realize that people spiral for a lot less than what you went through.
I do. like you said, relative. people kill themselves over making B's in college.
>Congrats you made it this far with that much shit.
meh. peeps have overcome worse. that's just what happened to have almost done me in.

so literally nothing happened to YOU. people you knew died and you lost money. Are you kidding me? I have a friend who had a traumatic brain injury. his head hurts all the time and people think he's a huge asshole but his just hurts all the time. so he is an asshole but he can't help it. but you're a bitch. fuck you and your "memememe oh poor me" low tier reddit thread. fuck off. god damn.

Of course there were morons. I have met and talked to many good old people and veterans. A lot have shared how the world once was with me. If you don't understand what I'm saying that's fine. Don't assume I'm an idiot.

>1 post
read the thread.

I have postpartum rage. No one cares to help me and just call me a bitch. Mental health does shit for this type of thing and I never met a doctor that actually gave a shit.

My dad died when I was 12 what happen to you

>what'd you do?

Raped your mom. She loose tho. And her titties sag.

>A lot have shared how the world once was with me.
ditto.
>not much has changed.

>If you don't understand what I'm saying that's fine.
I do. I think your information has been filtered.
>Don't assume I'm an idiot
I was assuming you were misinformed, and clearly you are.

even the brightest among us can fall victim to misinformation.

insightful. heartwrenching. eye-opening. wow.

huh. I can't relate. does anything in particular aggravate your aggression? do you just overreact? what even would you call "rage?"
screaming? stabbing people?

see what im saying. everyone has problems. your problems have been minimal and you're a mess because you're weak. you're just a narcissist bitch boy. you deserve this.

C-PTSD (DSM-V):

Criteria-
1. Be a woman
2. Sleeve tattoos
3. Septum piercings

I get it, you have to be right about everything while making off handed assumptions about someone trying to connect with. Good luck with your future.

you troubled user? havin' a rough time?

Australia has a magnificent mental health service

checked
but no I was specifically referring to the fact that people were equally shitty 100 years ago. everything else you assumed is just that. an assumption.
>while making off handed assumptions about someone trying to connect with.
>connect with
...on Yas Forums?

Why label yourself?

PTSD doesn't exist. you're just a poofta