Get used to a shitty ass

you use a rag or something or just dont wash yur butthole?

You don’t have to touch it, just bend over a little bit and let water from the shower run down your ass cheeks. It’ll wash it up fine without rubbing your anus

Wrong. Sometimes you need to really get in there and rub, maybe even stick a finger or two in.

I wash my butthole and penis like I'd wash my hands. Imagine some psycho washing his hands like you're suggesting. I think you just outed yourself as someone that doesnt wash their butthole, son.

>he's so insecure about his sexuality he can't wipe his own ass without getting an erection
kek, this board never ceases to amaze ME user.

I use baby wipes. Cleaner and better on the ass than anything else.

I know your joking but it is pretty gay to stick your hand on your ass even in the shower

(((STOP USING TP GOYIM)))

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>he doesnt have wipeless shits

never gonna make it

>masks don't do anything

>experts agree
I don't give a shit what experts think, If I want to wipe my ass with toilet paper I absolutely will

You should try more fiber for the no wipe dump. If you're having to go in with fingers i'm thinking it suggests you need more fiber. No hate tho. the idea that soap and water can't clean means we're fingering girlfriends with raw chicken covered fingers(if you ever prepared a meal) and all kinds of fucked shit. I usually start off with a rinse like
suggests then go in with a karate chop motion with a soapy hand then clean my chode then my balls then my hands. Not saying I haven't been in the same position of having to do circular motions with my finger around the rim of my asshole but it's indicative of needing more fiber in the diet not fully expelling your poos. Especially with protein supplementation. Stuff gets like peanut butter sometimes instead of the high fiber fulfilling poo of satisfaction.

>Every store gets toilet paper every morning.
i haven't been able to get tp for about 3 weeks.
fortunately, i stocked up.

Are you gay or something?

Sorry I'm going to miss the rest of this thread, going down to my local supermarket to pick up some toilet paper.

Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person eats 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 240 rolls a week. Over 6 gazillion a month. TP will be worth its weight in gold in a few months, because everyjew needs it.

My doggo never licks his ass either.

I don't want to throw my notebook out every morning. I did that for a while, it just gets expensive. On the plus side, my local hispster coffee shop is now full of people who have notebooks like my favorite brand and they can help me with software issues, though they all smell just a bit too much like poop. Say, you don't think...

This will never be funny. Kill yourself for still doing this, you giant faggot.

Not fortunately, because

Shitass

stores didn't run out of toilet paper near me

the only thing that ran out was

tinned food
pasta
rice

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>Not fortunately, because
that doesn't make sense, user.
if every store gets more toilet paper every morning, then it shouldn't matter whether or not i stocked up; there should be more to get the next day.

> no wipe dump
Low t smooth assed faggot

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>(((Jew))) (((Kike))) Times

We can just use a copy of the NYT instead.

Ok, well that doesn't mean the entire world is out, user. I could drive to the store here in 5 minutes and happily buy as much as I want.

Mine did. Correlates with a large population of mud bloods that had a domino effect. Once the toilet paper was seen out everyone felt the need to stock up in case the toilet paper insanity continued, creating an artificial unnecessary, scarcity. Causing one to be without ability to obtain toilet paper. Someone mentioned here awhile back that check an online prepper list and the first thing to stockpile is toilet paper. Googling "Things to prep list" first thing that popped up as #1 was toilet paper.

>yfw you'll continue to use your hand like you've been doing before

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>going outside during the pandemic
no, thank you.

Tons of Toilet paper in the super Market next door.
I live in Germany

Guess the journos got BTFO shilling against masks and has to find something else to gaslight the public with.

Nah mate, you take the shower head, switch to the highest pressure you have, spread them cheeks and aim the water right at it. Once the water clears up, you credit card swipe with hand and soap.

You still wipe on a "no wipe dump" its just a metaphor. It just becomes almost unnecessary. Unlike a dump that turtle heads where you can squeeze it all out and end up using a whole roll of toilet paper smearing shit all over your ass in a futile effort and hopefully realizing you need a post dump shower.

Stores in my area have them now, limit 1 per customer.

>oh say can you see

It’s bitches man
They wipe when they piss too
Dude wipes 1-2 times a day
Bitches wipe 10 times a day

Don't lie. No store has any TP. Only Lidl has some every other day and it sells out in two hours after opening.

>eat salad, fucking hate salad
>next day take shit, no smell, no straining, quick, can barely read one thread and i'm out
>maybe there's something to this salad thing
>don't ever eat salad again because it tastes like shit, rather have stinky messy poo

The immaculate defection, or wipeless shit, is real
You just need fiber
Metamucil for example
You’ll shit like a horse, and sometimes when you wipe, there’s nothing there
So you wipe again, just to be safe
Perfectly Clean
It’s a great feeling, a truly special day

If any of you anons are having trouble finding shitpaper, check your local janitorial supply distributor. They may still have stock of bulk boxes of TP.

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I would love to have a bidet

But imagine every American having access to one, they’ll tell us we’re wasting too much water. Eventually they’ll want us to just have a shit filled asshole.

Kek

Unless you shave your ass, that ain't real.

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Am I the only person with a sink near the toilet? Wipe then get some water and soap on one and wash. Then dry. Uses less TP and feels better. I thought that was why sinks were always within arms reach and I used to feel bad for midgets.

I know my diet is right when I’m not wiping. It’s awesome

We are in lockdown here, but no shortage at all.

I just lose respect anytime i hear a man say he uses a bidet.

I picture you sitting on the thing getting water blown up your ass. It just seems fucking gay to me.

my local store has tp, Vlad
dumb russian nigger

Potable water is more expensive per gallon than oil now user. WTF are you on about? Are you living in yesterday?

but is your ass really clean if you only use toilet paper? thats why I usually take a shower after shitting, paper doesnt get rid of all the residue

OP made a typo, he meant to say:
>”get used to a clean ass, and more money in your pocket (especially if your home has a septic tank)”

What’s really going on is that Big Paper is scared. Mobile computers are hurting printer paper sales... and TP should be in decline. It’s only paid shills and pre-programmed cope-fags supporting TP.

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Fuck sanitation and fuck the environment, using water is more convenient, one less thing to buy and transport home. I nigger rigged a faucet and garden hose to the bottom of my toilet water tank and its great.

But think of the fags that have to put rimming on hold b/c of his partner's dirty bunghole!

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If your dog is dragging and licking ass it's most likely a blocked anal gland. One of the worst smells ever.

Bidetchads RISE UP

If you get shit on your hands do you just wipe it off with paper and call it good?

Not everybody lives in a third world country you goblin

I TRIED SELLING TOILET PAPER OVERSEAS TO YOU MURICANS THROUGH AMAZON OR EBAY
I HAD TO READ 500 PAGES OF GOVERNMENT SHIT JUST TO THINK ABOUT START EXPORTING
FUCK THAT SHIT, ENJOY NEVER KNOWING THE PREMIUM BRAZILIAN TOILET PAPER

Psyllium
It's real
Try it sometime, you will crap things that are nearly unbelievable

I like to hose off my asshole then use your luffa to scrub it raw.
By the time I get out of the shower my ass looks like it’s been sandpapered

So you see? We aren't experiencing a failure of Judeo-Capitalism. The problem is goyim wanting yet another invention of the "chinks".

Then go buy one. My Toto uses only 0.8Gal per flush... my old toilet was like 3Gal.

New low flow dual tornado Toto has not clogged once!

What people don’t know is that Japanese bidets have electronic deodorizers built in. This feature alone is worth the price of admission.

Imagine scraping you but with paper and stinking up your house like an Indian alleyway in the year of out Lord 2020. And yet, the American will defend this.

You can’t afford not to get one, you will save money

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>THE PREMIUM BRAZILIAN TOILET PAPER
I don't even want to know what this is

I use wet wipes anyway and packages of them are still coming into stores. Fuck toilet paper you can’t clean properly with stupid dry disgusting paper that always falls apart

>not wiping your asshole clean with water in the shower

nigga you're in a shower. just wash your hand with soap afterwards.

Based

I’m embarrassed for you.

I can take a shit and my bathroom doesn’t even smell. Enjoy being a caveman forever. Why even try to improve, you are perfect, right?

Classic cope
>”I don’t have it and it makes me inferior... so... uh... it’s gay and dumb”

classic coping mechanism

You know what’s gay? Scat play - that’s what you are advocating for.

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I got a bidet but it needs a pressure regulator and a warm/cold mixer. How hard it tries to shoot cold water up your ass on a cold morning is unpleasant. It either can't get up to my ass on low setting or feels like its trying to shoot water up my asshole on any higher setting. Lots of people here are using baby wipes due to our low fiber burger diets. Especially WOMEN. It's part of my BEKY stock portfolio.

>Obvious elite powerplay/demoralization op is obvious.
Yes it is.

The mainstream media is toilet paper tier themselves. Newspapers have been unreadable for years and years, now they've got to the point where they have to mine the social media feeds of normal members of the public in order to generate online articles. Absolute shitgarbage grade shitfucking crap garbage.

Eat the bugs, anons.

This thread proves that Americans have the third most disgusting shitting habits in the world only just barely better than the outright savage Indians and Chinese who still use their bare hands to wipe

Toilet paper should be reserved for healthcare personal

>He didn't put the French into the list
Not gonna make it

Same. Bidet rhymes with gay.

How much is a pack of wet wipes? $5

How many packs per year, 12?

So that’s $60/year

A basic bitch Toto A100, without an upgraded toilet is $375.

And you will save at least $100 per year in TP.

So in two years you have paid for it.

Wet wipers are truly the dumbest of all; they know TP is ineffective, but they chose the most expensive yet inferior solution.

>dual tornado Toto
>Japanese bidets have electronic deodorizers built in

One day I'm going to get a loan out just for a boss toilet