/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2902 - WEBM EDITIONS

>falling for a meme virus
You retards deserve to be taken for granite.

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webm bro

Marshall Law

Based but it's also a little too small.

On the 18th of March, Guardian reported
> Australia faces “extreme pressure” supplying enough testing kits as the rate of infection continues to skyrocket, warning last week that the number of pathology testing kits, reagents and swabs was “deteriorating rapidly” with some regions now completely out of supplies.

and

>The government has so far refused to say how many testing kits remain in the country

I haven't seen any updates to this situation. How many tests do we have left? Is there still this major supply issue? This would really skew our test results and our case numbers

theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/mar/18/new-rapid-covid-19-testing-kit-can-return-results-in-15-minutes-but-not-yet-available-in-australia

CISHSO92-$8$7$5dddwww4

COME IN?

hangouts.google.com/call/j8u31xCTLG41ijbn2IzKAEEE
youtu.be/22sU4I2wV5c
>hangouts.google.com/call/j8u31xCTLG41ijbn2IzKAEEE
>youtu.be/22sU4I2wV5c
hangouts.google.com/call/j8u31xCTLG41ijbn2IzKAEEE
youtu.be/22sU4I2wV5c
>hangouts.google.com/call/j8u31xCTLG41ijbn2IzKAEEE
>youtu.be/22sU4I2wV5c

First for all satanist kikes and freemasons die this century

Hope brazil bros can contain it, hope we can too, and i hope Chile can at least recover from it, we will all need each other here in SA

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it's over. Coronas done. Pack your bags everyone, time to go home.

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LEAN ON ME

DERECOGNIZE THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA!

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US stats are off the charts. 31000 in a day. Fuck me.

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Best timeline

>The fifth victim was a 20-year-old woman from Edmonton. It is not clear if she had underlying health issues.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/hinshaw-gives-alberta-covid-19-update-1.5520729

Original video maker here. I’ll make an updated version for you guys.

ch-checked

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Well, Italy warned us "act early, shut everything down"

come on ladies sacrifice those bras
N95 Masks from a bra - BuzzyHelps COVID hack by Dr. Baxter sharevideo1.com/v/YnZEUzBJTEd3VDg=?t=ytb&f=sy

She needs to coooooom

1 meter away?

France and US have 1000+ deaths in a single day. They will be worse than Spain in a couple of days.

BASED

Proxy or tourist?

alligator is fucking delicious.

t. louisiana user

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youtube.com/watch?v=sSbBHN_Clvs

I know right? Worst case Ontario a couple thousand old people die. I can't even get my liquor, it's FUCKED

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2 metres reeee

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Faggot. Post link to Marshall

We are actually testing and using legit tests unlike the rest of the world.

It'll grow as xie grows.

Have fun eating like a amazon nigger

today we say goodbye to those who died gasping for air, alone in the icu with a huge metal dick raping their throats, away from their families and frens.

F

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Are we gonna reach 2 million within 2 weeks

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BASED
>cut

It's literally an alt version he said the main line will have no penor.

No bush, ugh

You're new world approved. A step ahead.

SCIENTISTS SAY CORONAVIRUS CAN SPREAD THROUGH ‘AEROSOLIZED FECES’

nypost.com/2020/04/03/scientists-say-covid-19-can-come-from-aerosolized-feces/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPTwitter

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when it will be done?

wtf?!

HUGGZIES

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I like rickyisms, you're alright bongbro.

F
Fuck China, fuck the WHO, and fuck all governments that were complacent enough to let this happen

>COUNTRIES LIST
United States 276,037 (7,385) Italy 119,827 (14,681) Spain 119,199 (11,198) Germany 91,159 (1,275) China 81,620 (3,322) France 64,338 (6,507) Iran 53,183 (3,294) United Kingdom 38,168 (3,605) Turkey 20,921 (425) Switzerland 19,606 (591) Belgium 16,770 (1,143) Netherlands 15,723 (1,487) Canada 12,375 (208) Austria 11,524 (168) South Korea 10,062 (174) Portugal 9,886 (246) Brazil 9,194 (363) Israel 7,428 (40) Sweden 6,131 (358) Australia 5,454 (28) Norway 5,370 (59) Ireland 4,273 (120) Czech Republic 4,190 (53) Russia 4,149 (34) Denmark 3,757 (139) Chile 3,737 (22) Poland 3,383 (71) Ecuador 3,368 (145) Malaysia 3,333 (53) Romania 3,183 (133) Philippines 3,018 (136) Pakistan 2,686 (40) Japan 2,617 (63) Luxembourg 2,612 (31) India 2,567 (72) Saudi Arabia 2,039 (25) Indonesia 1,986 (181) Thailand 1,978 (19) Finland 1,615 (20) Greece 1,613 (63) Peru 1,595 (61) Mexico 1,510 (50) South Africa 1,505 (9) Dominican Republic 1,488 (68) Serbia 1,476 (39)…

>LATEST CHANGES
United States +31,160 (+1,314) Italy +4,585 (+766) Spain +7,134 (+850) Germany +6,365 (+168) China +31 (+4) France +5,233 (+1,120) Iran +2,715 (+134) United Kingdom +4,450 (+684) Turkey +2,786 (+69) Switzerland +779 (+55) Belgium +1,422 (+132) Netherlands +1,026 (+148) Canada +1,092 (+35) Austria +395 (+10) South Korea +86 (+5) Portugal +852 (+37) Brazil +1,150 (+39) Israel +571 (+4) Sweden +563 (+50) Australia +140 (+3) Norway +223 (+9) Ireland +424 (+22) Czech Republic +332 (+9) Russia +601 (+4) Denmark +371 (+16) Chile +333 (+4) Poland +437 (+14) Ecuador +205 (+25) Malaysia +217 (+3) Romania +445 (+18) Philippines +385 (+29) Pakistan +265 (+6) Luxembourg +125 (+1) Saudi Arabia +154 (+4) Indonesia +196 (+11) Thailand +103 (+4) Finland +97 (+1) Greece +69 (+10) Peru +181 (+6) Mexico +132 (+13) South Africa +43 (+4) Dominican Republic +108 (+8) Serbia +305 (+8) Argentina +88 (+6) Colombia +106 (+6)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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F

Haggis is quality food user
You're fine

Who will come out as the biggest ”winner” after this pandemic, The US or China?

F

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More like every other nation took better precautions that we did and locked down when it mattered. Our response has been third world. It's pathetic.

Ok happa

that's sad bro

FFFF
F
F
F

Neither just a cuban gymcel, also nice flag

Who /comfy/ here?

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A bra for me is eighty dollars, minimum. I’m gonna cut up a vacuum bag for HEPA filter to go in my homemade cloth mask’s pocket and you’re going to like it.

checkem IM GAY and wear me a hat The best thing about her is that you would have always been wondering about just whom was going to be doing to the ravishing. Thank you

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So braps can infect? Nice.

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Are those pets?

huggzie

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why is everyone here so fucking gay?

Meh, not that amazing so far.

How do you recommend your alligator?

Aerosolized feces can be propelled into the air through what’s called a toilet plume — the spread of aerosols, sometimes containing infectious fecal matter, caused by a flush.

“Close the lid and then flush,”

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She's about to inject her viral load

gay

what does coronachan smell like

China seems to have won
Its containment measures have been effective, and its economy is strong.
China has won. It destroyed Europe and the United States. It is now a world leader. Soon everyone will be bowing to China.
Its condition is the best of all countries, its economy is not affected, its competitors are destroyed. This is a sure victory for our brothers over the Western faggots
i'm the proud successor of the Mongol greatness, as well as China. We are brothers in blood and spirit. Both we and they are heirs to the Mongol Empire. We have the same blood and the same history.
Any crisis is an opportunity. China took advantage of them better than others
1. China has effectively prepared for a new generation of biological warfare. We conducted exercises and showed the world a master class and inefficiency against China.
2. Conducted a census of the population. Quickly and efficiently.
3. Tightened the digital dictatorship. Control of social networks and all communications.
4. We created a system for quickly calculating all the social connections of the desired individual: who contacts them, who was traveling in the car, where they were, and who they communicated with.
5. All illegal immigrants were identified and many were expelled from the country.
6. Many foreigners were expelled in a soft regime. They themselves sought to evacuate. The rest were identified and brought under control.
7. We have worked out a mechanism for mass and abrupt blocking of the entire country.
8. They showed the world what China is capable of. Putting 1.5 billion people in full quarantine and putting masks on all of them is powerful, just like building a mega-hospital in a week.
9. The whole country has been taught how to maintain hygiene.
10. They passed a law prohibiting the use of wild animals for food, which is the norm for many provinces.
11. They showed the world how dependent it is on China
12. They froze production chains around the world, triggering a global crisis.

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>sites hosted in Washington take minutes to load properly
IT'S OVER GUYS

Have y’all noticed nurses acting like this online ? I get they’re stressed out but they are literally waving around that they have the power of life or death above people.

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F, to everyone except to all the chink bastards that got raped by coronachan.

Oh god... *huggzies* I'm gonna....

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FUCK CHINA AND DEATH TO ALL CHINKS

The counts are all bullshit. I know 10 people with it all been told to fuck off they cant get tested. Most infected arent even going to get tested so the death percents are fuxking wrong.

True but doesn't mean you're not completely fucked. Your obesity and poor lock downs will be your downfall.

This will be a good addition to worlometers

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As fuck

We will win soon. Except for China. They already lost about a million just in Wuhan

the US literally god blacked lmao

Just thought you guys would enjoy this picture.

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The USA also has a larger population, so having higher numbers makes sense. You know, per capita.

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MARTIAL LAW

Learn to spell.

13. The use of drones and automated tracking devices is being massively introduced in the police and response services.
14. The creation of mass thermal imaging systems with automatic calculation of specified anomalies has been worked out.
15. The algorithms for working with face recognition cameras have been upgraded due to the fact that people wear masks.now, a person's gait is also taken into account in identity recognition.
16. Automatic product delivery systems are being created massively and quickly.
17. The electronic concentration camp system has been developed.
18. Protests in Hong Kong have stopped and the influence of the Chinese government there has grown.
19. The main thing is that while the world continues to fall into a crisis funnel, China is already out of it and ready:
- buy up cheaper assets
- help financially weak States by increasing their global influence
- play on the decline in oil (already abandoned Russian contracts)
- create new alliances and alliances.
And everything that happens, after completion, will lead to the renewal of the world order.

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So 2 million by Friday, right?

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Chicken chow mein

F

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Not all deaths are reported either

*coof*
Sorry mate, what are you saying again?

is that shit even approved for human consumption?

F
CHINA DIED
PEOPLE LIED

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Going for herd immunity with a bioweapon is a bit risky imo

No u are gey

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ASAP my nigger

The number is there, but there won't be enough tests conducted.

China is saving your asses, you freaks, they are our true bros and lend a helping hand in time of need.
We should not be racist, bruh, it's not cool

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>FUTURE MARKETS
United States (-1.62%) Germany (-0.95%) France (-1.80%) United Kingdom (-1.38%) Italy (-3.41%) Switzerland (-0.72%) Spain (+0.11%) Austria (+0.00%) Poland (+1.62%) Netherlands (-1.88%) Hungary (-0.34%) Russia (+3.04%) Greece (+1.29%) Brazil (-3.90%) Japan (-1.04%) Hong Kong (-0.90%) China (-0.39%) Australia (-3.34%) Singapore (-3.42%) India (-4.25%) South Korea (-0.13%) Taiwan (-0.87%) South Africa (-1.13%)

>LIVE TRAFFIC
Sydney (-100%) Tokyo (-100%) Beijing (-100%) Wuhan (-100%) New Delhi (-94%) Dubai (-100%) Moscow (-100%) Rome (-85%) Milan (-76%) Berlin (-66%) Munich (-77%) Brussels (-100%) Paris (-100%) Madrid (-87%) Barcelona (-68%) London (-81%) Johannesburg (+11%) Sao Paulo (-78%) Buenos Aires (-76%) New York (-88%) Washington (-82%) Miami (-72%) Toronto (-81%) Chicago (-80%) Houston (-80%) Mexico City (-76%) Los Angeles (-71%) Seattle (-68%)

>LOCKDOWNS AGGREGATE
India (1.3b) China (760m) United States (270m) Pakistan (211m) Russia (144m) Mexico (129m) Egypt (97m) Germany (82m) Philippines (71m) Brazil (66m) France (66m) United Kingdom (66m) Italy (60m) South Africa (56m) Colombia (49m) Spain (46m) Argentina (44m) Ukraine (42m) Iraq (38m) Poland (37m) Nigeria (36m) Morocco (35m) Peru (32m) Venezuela (32m) Malaysia (31m) Nepal (29m) Australia (24m)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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>3,212 different strain
What the hell? Wasn't it just 2,856 just today?

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fried, of course. tail meat is best. leg meat is like some weird mix between pork and fish.

oWo

I'd say it's very likely

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I want to suck those milky titties while she fucks my bussy like no tomorrow.

Its actually good people, I use it. AMAZING resource.

Has the Coronavirus ruined any potential romances for anyone else here?

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wtf is that? pets? for fishing?

Shut the fuck up braindead Ruski. No one believes your CCP propaganda anymore

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I like how it goes from god tier to absolutely "you need to be in a ditch" tier.

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As long as we have enough tests to actually detect it.

Sand-nigger wants us to shut down our nations for the flu?
Wow, I'm shocked.

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ruined my wedding user.

> Italy 119,827 (14,681) Spain 119,199

I’m glued to this

Nah give it 10 to 12 days

artist name?

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F

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Nothing, destroys your sense of smell remember

Test

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R-romance? What's that?

Any of you faggots got that turkish? homosexual orgy circle painting pic? I need it to butt hurt some people on jewbook

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Was your wedding ruined because you sucked off a nigger?

This is based f󠛡am

So, thats why...

youtube.com/watch?v=9zawUPKSWT0

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You can always reschedule.

Really interested.
Any special sauce or seasoning?

This is getting out of hand.

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F
Fuck the CCP, Fuck the WHO, fuck PSOE and fuck all nothingburgers

>active mortality rate 5% and rising

Crunchy snacks.
Says it's a food company on the can.

Good riddance

the guvment is taking my gst credit and putting it on the taxes I owe :C

>Alternate

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So they pretty much confirmed today that the virus mutated to be transmitted via airborne in close proximity

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This is Corona Chan. She really hates nogs, muzzies, jews, trans, gays, globalists and fatties. And Chinks, she really, really, fucking hates Chinks. She's here to change the world forever. Say something nice about her, /cvg/.

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F

She likes 2 week periods

yeah! and fuck the freeworld!

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was it worth ruining your wedding ?

very nice work

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Ducking off a nigger ruined your wedding? Go on

F

>fuxking wrong.
So is this generic copy pasta to use for commenting anywhere?
Also how much do you earn? Asking for a fren

Newest data get it while it's hot

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F

I'd say it saved you

Kek

They will probably do the same to me since I have a bunch of photo radar tickets.
>tfw no sticker
feels bad tb󠛡h

I was gona go on a date with a girl I like. Few days before it we got mass lockdowns...

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is that how the nazis did it?

China is asshole

Did SARS leave long-term effects on those who recovered from it?

I know i did. Thank you, norge-chan.

Argiebro when do you sleep

You don't get credit for putting out the fire that you started after it burned down your neighbor's house.

Shut the fuck up and go suck a dick. Possibly the only useful thing you can do with that mouth instead of saying stupid shit.

I used to be a NothingBurger pusher, but now I’m starting to think that 100k deaths in America is pretty low. I wouldn’t be surprised if 500k+ died. I’m sorry for doubting.

I’ve got this thing, 12 days after symptoms and I see no reason to get tested until my lung function deteriorates

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yeah, his movesets are alright

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Hey, you stupid fucking bitch. You know how you came into existence? A bunch of faggot coomers created you because they wanted to personify and later wank to a virus. Yes, that's right. Keep crying, you stupid little bitch. Good,good. Keep crying those hilariously meaningless tears, you are useless, you are a product of the degeneration of society and mental health, you're a waste of space. Fuck you.

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Countries that are highlighted are worse off than the US.

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Preaty much every part of that video needs to be it's own webm

Yes, roughly 40% had severe diminution of quality of life, chiefly lung scarring

F

Based. Fried gator is fucking great.

Beat me to it.

>UK not highlighted
FUCK YEAH, RULE BRITANNIA

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> She really hates nogs, muzzies, jews, trans, gays, globalists and fatties. And Chinks, she really, really, fucking hates Chinks.
what about boomers tho?

Damn. This is gonna be a wild ride.
Any source?

We love you

Yes, bigly
Not on everyone but a large % got lung and heart damage and smaller % brain damage and infertility

based chink

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I like this one, I hope it gets fast tracked

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and currently under lock down, whereas you are not doing shit at the moment.

roachies

round 2 gonna be fun

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Hope you catch it and die a slow miserable death alone, desu.

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Humanity has lost. All hail our virus God

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Sorry to hear that. Do you still at least keep in contact with her?

I still have 90 cases of sardines and haven't eaten a single one... they're so smelly and gross :(

HOW CAN A VACCINE BE FINGERTIP
WHAT IS GOING ON?

F

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You sound edgy user, are you in a high risk group?

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Old Bay
based and gatorpilled

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113 vaccines? How many days have we been stuck at 113 vaccines? 4 days? 5 days?

the poos just eliminated a vector

where is this from?

does lung scarring effect NEETs who sit on the computer 24/7 jerking off and posting on pol?

higher death rate per capita, though.

>more infectious than the spanish flu
>with a death rate 8% higher
>can infect through masks and is essentially airborne

Yikearooni. We're yabba dabba doomed.

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>looks at deaths per milion

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Digits and vaccines will fail, and Corona is ADE.

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MORE

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IT'S ALL SO TIRING

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Considering our preformance handling this crisis, could you imagine if this thing was just as transmissible but had a kill rate of 10-20%? Too bad that isn't that case.

Keep them intact they will last well past the stamped expiration date

If this becomes much worse, it might create new romance opportunities for me :^)

Hey Yas Forums check out this new alternate design for Corona-chan. It's based on Osmosis Jones.

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>Unironically posting corona chan images
>Calling me edgy
I'm not in a high risk group, but I'm still taking precautions. Not risking permanent lung damage

F
UCK CHINA

Nevermind I think I found it
jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/415378
>Just the flu bro

it might make your coooms less intense, leaf.

>Japan 2600 case
wtf is going on lads. there is some fuckery afoot. Korea suspiciously low too. but at least they have been the leaders in controlling the spread.
Taiwan only 350 cases.

It doesn't feel right. Like there is a different more lethal virus outside of Asia.

She gives them a fair chance, plenty of hard core oldies getting blessed by corona and living on to become her disciples. Fatty and unhealthy boomers she munches as a snack.

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journal.chestnet.org/article/S0012-3692(16)50447-4/fulltext

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It basically means you'll be out of breath easily all your life and will likely die if you contract one pneumonia again

HOW IS INDIA SO LOW

Something like 60% became NEETs

Perfect.

FUCK CHINK