So where the fuck do you get toilet paper these days again?

So where the fuck do you get toilet paper these days again?

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Literally bought a 24 pack on the black market for 100 rounds of .223.

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Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really don't have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 2 rolls per day. If you have a family of 17, that's 637 rolls a week. Over 8459 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

I don't understand how everybody makes a single roll of toilet paper last so long. I poop at least four times a day, and I need a roll of toilet paper every time. First, I take a bunch of TP to layer the toilet seat so my butt doesn't get cold. Secondly, I place a wad of TP into the toilet bowl so that the water doesn't splash up. Thirdly, I can't poop all at once, so I go through multiple stages of pooping out a little nugget, and wiping everytime I do so. Once I'm empty, I take the rest of the TP left on the roll and cover up my poop, so that I can ensure that everything flushes properly.

I can't spare a square.

I got mine this morning because that's the benefit of working at a store in a plan-demic

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Go shopping at 6am when the stores open.

When I was a kid I was so afraid to take a dump because my dumps were so messy and hard to clean up, so I would hold it for as long as I could until I was in physical pain from holding it for so long, at this point I wouldn't be able to hold all of it in anymore and a little would come out on my way to the bathroom, or if I was lucky some would come out and I would gain a second wind being able to hold the rest. I can still remember the smell. It's the same smell of my dumps now when I forget to drink my psyllium husk. That's right, psyllium husk. The same psyllium husk your grandmother drinks. Only my dumps are likely much more solid than hers. I bet my dumps are even more solid than yours. Hell I bet your grandmother takes bigger dumps than you. These days I can't even get away with trying to hold it in. No, these days, these days a whole entire steamy log would come making it's way unimpeded by the cheek, and would I even care? No, because I also wear the type of special underwear specifically designed to capture special steamy logs for special big boys like me. Now drink your psyllium husk so you can have special big boy dumps like me.

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Any cool Corona-chan pics of your break room, Walanon?

Why can't you low lifes dump only before shower?

I had someone reach under the stall once. I put my dick in his hand, and even though he sounded sad, he jerked me until I was finished. Thanks strange fellow in the next stall with abnormally small hands.

I have a toilet paper key that works universally at most gas stations/stores, if I run out of toilet paper I'll be taking some from there. Also, I bought a bunch of tp before this shit went down and haven't needed to buy it since before covid was a problem. I think I bought two 24 packs, only go shopping every month and a half or so. Pick up odd end things here and there like fruit.

Get a load of this new table set up

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The shops in the UK have TP again. The TP panic lasted about a month.

Other than the weekends I take all my poops at work. Lots of TP here

.

Use your hand like the poo u are

mucho essential

Delightfully depressing.

Pretty much any supermarket. Go when they open, or after senior shopping hour if they're doing that. If you have friends in similar circumstances, arrange to scout a few different stores and report who got a delivery.

The stock is depleted because of the hoarders, but more shows up every day.

imagine not getting 150 rolls of tp in January, or even mid February

imagine not taking your time to buy your mask of choice on Amazon during January

imagine not leisurely prep shopping throughout January and early Feb.

imagine coping on April 3rd that you're FUCKED

i've seen it at my supermarket every time ive gone in there during the last 2 weeks. there's not a big selection but you can still get something to wipe your ass.

In any supermarket.

They've been fully stocked on it the last 2 times I went to ALDI.

just use your hands and lick it, free second meal

Panic has calmed down and theres a fair shake that you can walk into any store in the middle of the day and find some now

Elaine was a man?

Plenty of TP in my stores, why don't you stop living in a second world country.

Based.

>not having a bidet

Kek, we had panic buying for one. single. day.
Now the shelves are fully stocked and toilet paper is regular on sale just like in normal times.

>socks and sandals

You can get some in three weeks ago. If you can't go back, you are going to need to step up your laundry.

Until the Trumpbux come in.... it will be a second black Friday

Use a damn rag and clean it

Can you bake dollar bills at 150f ?

Be a man. Use your hand.

My sons birthday has cash getting mailed to him and I don’t want him to touch it until it’s clean. Has anyone baked money at 150f?

i am definitely curious about what all these hoodlums are going to do with the money. for many of them, that's the most money they've ever gotten at in one shot. should be very interesting.

From your toilet paper cupboard.
>He doesn't have a stocked TP cupboard.
lol.

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not only tp. the store was ENTIRELY out of paper towels.

Doesn't do anything. You have to bake at at least 250f. Start with 25 minutes then check it.

Imagine having 3 rolls last since January.

Imagine not being a fat fuck who eats but does not exercise enough to use the fuel.

N95 mask are 130-150 for 30 min ?

just be a man and use brawny...

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>Jordan's
>yeezys
>beats headphones
>macbooks
Is it that difficult to imagine?

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I live civilized and have a bidet hahaha

Jews won't be turned into lamp shades this time they will be turned into TP.

the store....

How the fuck are you using 2 rolls a day? Do you have constant diarrhea?

The cupboard i'm storing over 50 rolls

Don't you read? He has a family of 17 dummy.

It is obvious bait.

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Ahhh so it's you assholes that are responsible for the TP shortage

lmao I can't believe this is still working

I've been re-using mine.

Imagine moving across the country in March.
Imagine not having extra tp or a faggot mask.
Imagine not giving a single fuck.
Imagine not being a huge floppy pussy.
Imagine not fearing for your life over a cold.
Imagine not being a man.

When the stores ran out of my favorite type I looked online for it. They were only selling packages of 80 so now I have way too much.

It's called having first dibs, goy.

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Really the best method is to squat on the toilet rim and wrap your left hand with half a roll of toilet paper, and catch your shit in your hand, then examine it for parasites, worms, undigested roast beef, consistency, and color. Don't be afraid to break it apart and smell the chunks, I like to keep samples in jars for closer examination later.

Walmanon is back. Those are some pretty sweet tables. And you get tennis balls? Lucky. Pick unrelated it's me scuba diving in the Bahamas in 1981.

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can't even get brawny at my stores.

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From the nearby dungeon. The mobs you kill on the 8th floor drop a lot of them.

i know this is pasta but people will still see this reply so idc.

i haven’t used two rolls of tp in my life

He gave you 24 rolls for only 100 rounds? Score.

Yeah, that's what I thought as well. Massive bargain.