/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2830 - STATUS: LOCKDOWN

>moms blackpilled as fuck

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I’m feeling much better :)

>nothingburger_bait.jpg
Cu-*COOF*-te

This green shit is so gay..so many fucking slide threads

go ahead coof on me all you want

you can coof as hard as you can it does nothing to me

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This april fools thing is boring now. Been infected like 3 times and still alive. Too bad it isn't real.

>new cases almost non existent in China
>leveling off in Italy
>rapidly slowing down in NYC

It’s LITERALLY nothing

Your state is on lockdown now Bill you're never gonna make it. You can't even walk to the beach and catch a fish without getting arrested!

how fucked is Florida?

>He isn't going full coofer
ngmi

STOP OR I'LL SHOOT

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CHINA WAR WHEN

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>hurr durr its a nuthin barhger only like 1 american has died
Exactly, now its a happening. Do you think america, the greatest place in this fucking galaxy, is going to take this lying down? You and I both know that won't happen. Those chinks will hang like Saddam. And your next, leaf. Day of the rake won't be kind to you. All it takes is 1 american to get HURT and a world of bunker busters is landing on you, right into your mom's basement. Fucking dead, kid.

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ONLY NIGGERS ARE GREEN

TAKE ME DOWN TO WUHAN CITY WHERE THE BATS HAVE CORONA AND THE CORPSES ARE PRETTY, OH WON'T YA PLEASE TAKE ME HOOOME!!!

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*coofs in your general direction*

Don't you coof on me! I have to go to work!

STOOOOOP

fuck gary

Still healthy as fuck

Every day a record

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F
youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4
twitter.com/Variety/status/1245474695723528194

There are way too many coofers in this thread. I am hereby restricting all movement in and out of /cvg/

*TINK* *TINK* *TINK*

I HAVE AN ANOUNCEMENT TO MAKE

AHEM AHEM

THIS IS A NOTHINGBURGER

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Test all sons of bitches

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son ill have you know that i have survived 23567 cases of severe POO POO DIARRHEA so im sure as fuck not gonna die of some little flu fag nothingburger.

now if you excuse me i have to go to work.

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GGGHAAAAAAAK AUUUGH GOD MY THROAT

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paging dr. coofy

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It had for Trump's friend to get it for him to get scared, sounds like my dad.

Do I have to post a lot or I just have to wait to get cured?

Get your mollies prepped, burn it all down and build a new world.

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florida had the 1st case or first death (don't remember which of the two) on the east coast and has 87 dead now lol

i will take you all with me if i have corona

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>is infected

Okay Chang.

More like Fountains of GAYne

Nice miss
Why would you want to be cured?
Just don't acknowledge fellow coofers

dabbing on coofers.

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bless you lad. bless you.
*coof

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my hopes for another album

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Ecuador has gone to shit

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Just asymptomatic am I right heh heh feeling fine

SAY IT WITH ME:

AMERICAN
M
E
R
I
C
A
N

VIRUS
I
R
U
S

Only way to get herd inmunity

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same question

Can I join the coof?

>life put on hold for probably the rest of the year because some guy in china ate a bat
post corona-chan to cheer me up. Can't buy a house and had 2 job offers rescinded

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COOF

Could that indicate the brazilian bat mutation? Dear god...

American as bat soup

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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>he coughed?

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digits checked. its over bros

Someone leaked internal documents of Paris, France hospitals. They expect a trend worse than Italy

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Give me your TP if you want to live.

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They've been sticking their heads in the sand for awhile now.

I've been sick this shits getting boring

>COUNTRIES LIST
United States 211,463 (4,722) Italy 110,574 (13,155) Spain 104,118 (9,387) China 81,554 (3,312) Germany 77,921 (925) France 56,989 (4,032) Iran 47,593 (3,036) United Kingdom 29,474 (2,352) Switzerland 17,768 (488) Turkey 15,679 (277) Belgium 13,964 (828) Netherlands 13,614 (1,173) Austria 10,711 (146) South Korea 9,887 (165) Canada 9,677 (114) Portugal 8,251 (187) Brazil 6,836 (240) Israel 6,092 (26) Australia 4,980 (22) Sweden 4,947 (239) Norway 4,877 (44) Czech Republic 3,508 (39) Ireland 3,447 (85) Denmark 3,107 (104) Chile 3,031 (16) Malaysia 2,908 (45) Russia 2,777 (24) Ecuador 2,748 (93) Poland 2,554 (43) Romania 2,460 (92) Luxembourg 2,319 (29) Philippines 2,311 (96) Japan 2,178 (57) Pakistan 2,118 (27) India 1,998 (58) Thailand 1,771 (12) Saudi Arabia 1,720 (16) Indonesia 1,677 (157) Finland 1,446 (17) Greece 1,415 (50) South Africa 1,380 (5) Peru 1,323 (38) Dominican Republic 1,284 (57) Iceland 1,220 (2) Mexico 1,215 (29)…

>LATEST CHANGES
United States +22,933 (+669) Italy +4,782 (+727) Spain +8,195 (+923) Germany +6,113 (+150) France +4,861 (+509) Iran +2,988 (+138) United Kingdom +4,324 (+563) Switzerland +1,163 (+55) Turkey +2,148 (+63) Belgium +1,189 (+123) Netherlands +1,019 (+134) Austria +531 (+18) South Korea +101 (+3) Canada +1,065 (+13) Portugal +808 (+27) Brazil +1,119 (+39) Israel +734 (+6) Australia +217 (+2) Sweden +512 (+59) Norway +236 (+5) Czech Republic +200 (+8) Ireland +212 (+14) Denmark +247 (+14) Chile +293 (+4) Malaysia +142 (+2) Russia +440 (+7) Ecuador +446 (+14) Poland +243 (+10) Romania +215 (+10) Luxembourg +141 (+6) Philippines +227 (+8) Pakistan +180 (+1) India +601 (+23) Thailand +120 (+2) Saudi Arabia +157 (+6) Indonesia +149 (+21) Greece +101 (+1) Peru +258 (+8) Dominican Republic +175 (+6) Mexico +121 (+1) Colombia +159 (+1) Serbia +160 (+5) Argentina (+1) Algeria +131 (+14) United Arab Emirates +150 (+2)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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OP whats a good resource to know all the nations and territories in the world

SPAIN IS GOING TO BE THE NEW ITALY WHY YOU FAGS ARENT TALKING ABOUT THIS!!??

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NO MORE ECUATORIANNIGGER RAPEFUGEE IN CHILE!!! YEAAAAAAAAH!!!!

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>Officially passed yesterdays new case numbers with time to spare!
>Officially passed yesterdays new case numbers with time to spare!

How many americans are going to die by the end of the week guys? I think around 20-30 thousand just this week alone.

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>people still use gifs

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The greeness just keeps going up and down. Do I just have to keep replying to other infected posters to max it out?

Sure th*WHEEZE*ing friend!

POST THE GIF

only a couple of beds available in Paris region.

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Immune

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>"essential" businesses still open
>only leave if you "have to"
You tell me.

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Can this be the first signs of the brazil bat mutation?

If I get the glowies, I get the glowies. At the end of the day, I'm not going to let it stop me from shitposting.

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He coufghed.

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COOF COOF

I'll be taking that anal virginity then...

*coofs

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FREE CHEN QIUSHI
FREE FANG BIN
REVENGE FOR DR. LI

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Amount of people less than 75 yrs old rising in ICU.

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worldometers.info/coronavirus/

To cure yourself, only talk to uninfected fags.
Go to a less tainted board, since airborne infection can get you.

>Ecuador has gone to shit
Totally fucked
mobile.twitter.com/hotpinkchihuah1/status/1245239780176056320

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And is just the beginner...

YOU TAKE THAT BACK! GARY IS A SAINT!

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Hell yeah brother

Do I have the coof

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reminder to ignore memeflags

What if the entire corona virus situation was all part of viral marketing campaign? One big worldwide April fools joke sponsored by Corona beer

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...

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youtube.com/watch?v=0OHZ8uqVilM
wtf is going on there? why isn't it reported? all these goons telling em the media is spreding panic but it feels to me that the media is heavily underselling the situation worldwide.

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Not yet you don't

NEVADA STAY AT HOME ORDER
>NEVADA STAY AT HOME ORDER
NEVADA STAY AT HOME ORDER
>NEVADA STAY AT HOME ORDER

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oh boy

Status report?

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Can someone who has some knowledge please tell me how serious this virus is? Too much bullshit on tv, not sure what to think. I thought it was like 2-3% death rate, primarily from old people and people with immune system issues, yet I keep hearing about the healthy 33 yo dying from it.

Pls help!!

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fuckin'

*COOF*

Pray to god, it's the only way to survive along side isolation

coof

i like how the video is exactly 10 minutes

youtube.com/watch?v=bpQFCcSI0pU

its over.
i was able to get an 8 pack today.

▲
▲▲

Lunatic tried to crash into a hospital ship with a train
twitter.com/ai6yrham/status/1245476651141488640

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Am I still glowing?

Fuck the united states of america
it's over

932k
6:37pm EST
Cases accelerating
US struggling
SA in anarchy

Dat glow ...

COOF ON ME I WANT COVID INSIDE ME ALL OF IT

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any minute now Xi and Trump are going to jump out from behind the curtain: "APRIR FOORS!"

Classic comedy

Is there a source where I can look at where the virus is spreading the fastest meaning daily rise in number of cases as a ratio of number of cases on the previous day? Wiki has this number for each country in the Corona page for the respective country (marked in pic related) but it's difficult to find a comparison for all countries that updated daily

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STOP paying rent
STOP paying bills
MAX out credit cards and take out personal loans
CONVERT your cash into supplies
LEAVE your friends and families

No one will be around to collect debt soon. Millions are dead in America alone. We're supressing the news worse than China. Please LEAVE POPULATION CENTERS NOW. Or at least after you convert your cash to supplies. Corona virus causes permanent testicular cancer, lung damage, brain cancer and dementia. This is it bros. Don't leave anything to chance. You'll regret not being prepared.

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We're fucked.

Q predicted this

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Western agents spread infection
youtube.com/watch?v=MFi6C_kDiD0

>Western agents spread infection
>youtube.com/watch?v=MFi6C_kDiD0

Western agents spread infection
youtube.com/watch?v=MFi6C_kDiD0

>Western agents spread infection
>youtube.com/watch?v=MFi6C_kDiD0

Western agents spread infection
youtube.com/watch?v=MFi6C_kDiD0

>Western agents spread infection
>youtube.com/watch?v=MFi6C_kDiD0

FUCK! Ecuador is worse than Wuhan during the peak!

HAPPENING!

twitter.com/JuanDanMendoza5/status/1245444906522488837

what the link to the twitter guy making the coronachan gif?

>"essential" businesses
Gotta groom them poodles fren

because who cares ?

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Let me trigger some folks.

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▲
▲▲

*COOF COOF*

COMFYS REPORT

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>VA governor issued stay at home order until june 10 due to the rona
>voting for new governor is on june 9
>says to just send your votes in via mail
vacucks continue to cuck out baka

>beliving chinese numbers

fuck

everything fine, China will have cure
west spread fake news for gain power
stop helping them do so, start helping China better

This. Trump has spent the last few months screaming about how it is fake news (until it was a “horrible disease”) meanwhile the news just kinda sat there and barely reported on it either. It was individual people who read through the lines and panicked, nobody told them to do it

>was planning on going pornfree and fapfree for lent
>make it a whole month
>see the gif of a naked Coronachan shaking her ass on Twitter
>turn into the coomer and my Lent plans ended later that day

May God forgive me of falling for temptation.
Here bro.

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>actually going to get the anarchy i've dreamed of
i'm going to rape casey desantis

THANKS BROTHER

>the media is heavily underselling the situation worldwide.
The cabal will be broken if they said the truth. We are headed to a middle ages like event or mad max. They just need to say everything is nothingburger until it truly is when everybody that needs to be dead is dead and life continues as normal.

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We are seeing the end of the world in some countries and in others nothing has changed, this is what hell looks like isn't it? All hail corona chan, destroyer of nations bringer of death.

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Recoof me real quick bro

more like Fountains of Pain
Ahahahahahahah (reply based)

bugchaser here, give me the gift please

That would be nice, dunno if it already has been done

We already knew

ecuador gone completely to shit

>giving me two (you)s
Well if you insist

Ahem.
*coof*

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No wonder why the 1% have such disdain for the average american public

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fuck coofers

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>tfw Coronachan doesn't want me no matter how hard I tried.

chances of dying are high with people who have underlying health problems, old, very young etc

doesn't mean you can't die if you don't belong to those groups. we still know very little about the virus, and there can be genetic weaknesses etc

Wuhan Sudden Collapse Syndrome

not checked you faggot

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stay back you infected nigger.

>but it feels to me that the media is heavily underselling the situation worldwide.
Yup
Wait till the normalfags realise sterility is part of the package

every person in the thread isn't green.

If dubz true.

holy shit

Fu-*COOF*-ck you too buddy

Bless you I've been looking for that one again

COOF COOF

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>the media is heavily underselling the situation worldwide
If they'd tell the truth people would rise up immediately. Even subhuman brainlets like russians.

we had more deaths yesterday. its slowing down.

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>not the original webm
c'mon con

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Thank you for your service. See you after the router reset

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WARNING: COOFERS HAVE BEEN DETECTED IN THIS THREAD. ALL MOVEMENT IN AND OUT OF THIS THREAD WILL BE RESTRICTED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. YOU ARE ALL SAFE THERE IS NO REASON TO PANIC

Who /ANARCHOPRIMITIVISM/ here?
No larpers. You must have been for at least 10 years, and before that something retarded like an ancap or libertarian.

It's not the numbers. It's the citizens openly burning bodies in the streets and dumping dead relatives in the gutters. Shit is insane.

IM GONNA

IM GONNA COOOOOOOOOOOOOOF

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O shit

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haha, got a secondary infection from going to the hospital, antibiotic resistant staph will kill you dead.

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CHECKED, KEKKED, AND COOFED

coorfff

Yeah just go to work goy.

Cheer up user

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The Fuck user.

coooooooooooooooooooof

It's happening.

God I fucking hate niggers

i just came back from africa, ill give you something bby

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Vous allez encore envoyer du monde dans les hopitaux suisses?

soon

>Jared Qushner

IM FUCKIN COOFING OH GOD

Sorry, I forgot you can do higher than 2mb on this board.

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once enough cops get the cough i'm drunk driving my pickup through the walgreens and taking all of the controlled substances and you're getting shot if you try to stop me

Fuck. WW3 confirmed.

mobile.twitter.com/hotpinkchihuah1/status/1245239780176056320
Check this feed for a dozen videos like this
Ecuador is fucked

>everyone was worried that US and Iran would trigger WW3
>All it took is just one random chink eating a bat to make to world go to shit

oh fuck I'm gonna coof

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hope for the best user even if destiny is a bitch

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Here we go.

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By corona chan’s futa dick it’s happening

Me go coof coof

Based

mobile.twitter.com/willwildart

Echanges de bons procédés.

War when?

You're getting real green there bub

Is China cancelled yet

These threads are full of nothingburgers that just wont believe until its happening directly to them. They'll find out when its too late. It's over for a lot of them

Checked

The name sounds like a noseberg, then good riddance...

b-but how will i jerk off if i cant go to /gif/

I know how to avoid getting corona-chan. It's safe substance from plant, and you can find it anywhere.

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COOF

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>mobile.twitter.com/willwildart
many thanks!

based and mitchellpilled

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Is it happening to you?

let your inner-florida out my fellow mutt. the great chimpening will begin soon.

I'll double down on those digits

oh no

*coof*

don't coof on me

is that what happened in china the other day?

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>Feeling an immense pressure in my chest. Feels like I've gotten punched.

What do? Already taken my vitamin C&D.
Is this how it ends, anons?

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coof

I'm surprised nobody has done it already, seems like a no brainer. All you'd need to do is take this table from worldometer.info and add a column with % rise, and update it daily. And viola, you'd know where it's spreading the fastest

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How fucked are smokers?

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MAXIMUM SPREADER SPOTTED

That's how Return of the Living Dead ended.

You dead nigga.

very nice

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éirebros should i buy some sort of bow/airsoft rifle for protection?What the fuck do we do?

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Dave the coofer kept coofing on me at work.

Remember when masks worked?

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Great movie! Also, checked.

>Sweden went with the Herd immunity strategy against airborne AIDS/HIV chimera escaped bioweapon

Sorry bro
You never stood a chance

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Basically immune.

WW3 confirmed

coof coof give me green coof coof

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If you are alone you wont long, take some retards from a loli thread. They will happily join you if promise them free cunny. Hell those guys will join you in a shootout with anyone for some cunny.

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the chan has spoken, WW3 when?, next month?

Ok.
*ACHOO*

SNIFF!

WHY EVERYTHING ALWAYS BLOWING UP IN THAT SHITHOLE

I feel sick coof coof

YES

What Tuesday? Just a normal day of emissions

I'm immune!

Happening cancellation Cancelled

can't get it

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Why don't you test that by giving me a (you)

where is this

LICK

You're just stressed. You just need to coom.

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Oh fuck yeah. USA will fireball china soon

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It's happening around me. Or it was. I was on the streets of nyc. I saw the bodies lining the streets. It's a warzone there. Police are fighting with civilians. They wont let camera crews go into the bad areas. Nursing homes were abandoned by caretakers leaving hundreds to die. People are looting and figting over food and supplies. I had to crash with my uncle in PA out in the sticks

That would not protect you even from rats... Are you so totally cucked that bows/xbows are a no go for you? I have my hunting Xbow since 2014, about 120 arrows (carbon shafts) all with tri-blade titanium blades for hunting, red dot for quick aim and a carry bag for it.

shit nigger!, wtf are you doing showing that?, that was suposed to be secret!

We think we're scientifically advanced, but we can't even come up with a cure against a virus even when we know exactly how it attaches to a cell and gets inside and exploits it to replicate itself. We're trying all kinds of medicine pretty much haphazardly hoping some of them might actually work and cure seriously sick patients, but since a lot of people get better on their own we have no clue if the medicines work or not until we have large enough samples. We're so advanced! Hubris is the favorite game in town.

We're hitting 1kk soon brace for impact.

you didn't get dubbies so your post is null and void

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ecuador sir. the beaner version of wuhan.