BRIT/POL/ clownworld edition

WTF how did I catch the virtual AIDS?

can't get me

>My colleague Gwyn Topham wrote last week that Virgin was pushing for a state aid package:
>The airline declined to comment, but was understood to have approached the government and bankers, Rothschild, who are handling negotiations, for a package worth hundreds of millions of pounds in commercial loans and guarantees.
>Rothschild, who are handling negotiations

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>Licking boots is good as long as the boots I lick look good and aren't from shoezone

>Donald Trump tears into Boris Johnson’s failure to respond early to coronavirus crisis, warning it would have been ‘catastrophic’ to simply ‘ride it out’
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8176503/Donald-Trump-tears-Boris-Johnsons-initial-coronavirus-response.html
this is rich, coming from donald "president xi told me it's just a flu" trump.

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Get out of this thread, coofer

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Lads.

I just wish I had her back
youtube.com/watch?v=XzLQgNdn8NY

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faggot

She could have my bellenda iykwim

>those chubby ogre fingers
lol

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sluts are slags

is this proper press-up form?

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If you cough at each other and stand next to people you will gain herd immunity. Spitting too.

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what a cunt

what happened with eddie last night

They should give them the money on condition virgin changes its logo and tail art to richard branson getting bummed by a pig.

I just downvoted your comment.

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He was drinking rum and nobody wanted to talk to him. I kept an eye on it till 6am incase he was noncing.

proper gym thot form

reminder that only 5% of closed cases in the UK have ended with "recovery". our strain has a 95% death rate

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wtf is this cringe?
fuck off and get pozzed

Spastic

Talked to a guy about guns that's all I caught.

He should skype again if the fat buffoon actually wants to chat.

Coough

I figured we should post something that is at least legit but subject to change.

Worst survival rate determined by Recovered vs Dead (for EU countries):

1. UK (5% Recovered/ 95% Deaths).
2. Sweden (6% Recovered/ 94% Deaths).
3. Netherlands (18% Recovered/ 82% Deaths).
4. Portugal (19% Recovered/ 81% Deaths).

Only included those as their overall figures are triple (for Portugal and Sweden) and quadruple (for UK and Netherlands).
Norway and Poland look crap but their numbers are only double so far (to early to include them).

This is all too obvious to confirm so far but I suspect the UK will be keeping their position and the Dutch are likely to end up in 2nd place is multiple people in critical condition suddenly die within an sort amount of time (they have an high amount of people in critical, literally around 1000).

Stats are from Corona world ometer.

It's yoga

Explain "noncing"

sometimes i fucking hate the national trust

only sometimes?

would

Is he, dare I say it, a frauding nonce?

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It’s when you don’t use your country flag

metro.co.uk/2020/04/01/uk-overreacted-coronavirus-outbreak-lockdown-less-dramatic-claims-ex-nhs-consultant-12491808/

>When the Prime Minister quite rightly said nine days ago he would follow the science, I think everybody would agree with that, it’s a very sensible thing to do. But following the science is different from following one group of scientists.

>My assessment of the data, and as I said a great body of informed opinions’ assessment of the data, is that we are, on a global basis, overreacting to the disease.

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europe definitely got hit by the L strain. it's much deadlier than what we're seeing in south korea or singapore for example. also, reminder that italy, spain and germany are massively underreporting deaths.

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ok all the time

they keep ruining pretty things near me. trees chopped down, wooden things replaced with galvanised metal. looks horrible.

Ffs my armpits smell like oxtail soup

Just need to add in a few niggers, a paki here and there and it would be ideal.

it's to make way for the kfc they plan to get the cityfolk in

Achoo

>When the Prime Minister quite rightly said nine days ago he would follow the science
boris should have followed /cvg/ instead of his "science". this pandemic would be over by now if people listened to /cvg/'s research.

why are healthlets even allowed to post
atleast they get permabanned soon
only ever post bad takes

Lads, where's this crash and recession they promised us?

I want me dirt cheap housing market.

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wonder what the punishment for spreading fake news will be?

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Coof

uhh now?

no need for name calling

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Still pure.

coof

Ach-ach-achoo!

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thesun.co.uk/news/11302483/man-drove-100-miles-girlfriend/
>Don't tell the police your name or where you're going
>£600 please, plus court costs
I mean she was probably a dindu going by the last name, but I hate the sort of message this is giving.

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Have you thanked these brave heroes for destroying the economy today?

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>cvg/'s research.
Reading the daily mail is research?

it hasnt even crashed yet.

will the politicians be punished for spreading fake news about immunity? /cvg/ has known that the virus has ADE since the beginning. there is still 0 proof of any form of immunity.

You already had it

Does onions protect from the coof?

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Never understimate the no of arse exercise variations gym thots have. Their sphincters must be the healthiest muscle in their bodies.

analysis of scientific papers reaching back to the start of the original SARS outbreak. we cracked this entire virus back at the start of february. our research keeps getting vindicated and we have yet to be proven wrong on a single point.

Wanna see fake news?
What's wrong with this picture?

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Snif I-I got a runny nose la-achoo! lads

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you lads doing alright?

>p-put the brown goblin in the middle please

You just know someone said that.

>"And we are joined by Peter Hitchens who writes for the Daily Mail..."
>*muffled "No, I don't" in the distance
Had a good chortle when I watched his GMB debate

if you mean housing in particular it's cause no one can move, no sales, no chance of the price doing anything.
>Housing deals will likely drop by between 60% and 80% compared to averages in the three months through June, according to Savills. The broker expects the total number of home sales this year to fall by as much as 55% compared to the five-year average, with prices declining between 5% and 10%, Cook said.
bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-27/housing-market-stumbles-in-britain-after-week-of-lockdown

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>'It's just an April fools joke bro'
It's all so tiresome.
dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8175051/Lee-Ryan-confuses-fans-claims-devil-controls-government.html

Apart from the 'only killing asians' thing amongst many others.
/cvg/ is full of shit, Reddit retard circle jerk.

my neighbours are angry

they take your ventilator away

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What makes you think they're under reporting, user?

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>

They ain't even trying to hide it

bored shitless m8

I could murder for a greggs.

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Nasal ingestion of saffron boosts immune systems response to coronavirus.
All good covert cyber operations require good hashtags:
#SaffronCures #CovidHealing #SnortSaffron

Putting mercury in your water is effective at preventing the virus.

>5% recovered
>95% dead

95/5 = 19

So for every person that recovers from the virus, 19 die?

if every person in the UK got infected ~70million

that means approx. 19 x 70 million would die

1,331 million dead in the UK?
fuck.
why aren't we being told about this?

Do you have a licensing loicence?

22-Mar: Germany "lost" 2,000 samples before testing them
archive.is/l2fXg [DE]

21-Mar: "Germany omits most deaths with other pathologies", Spanish biologist
archive.is/EbZzm [ES]

21-Mar: "Germany doesn't test post-portem", Spanish biologist
archive.is/EbZzm [ES]

21-Mar: Most deaths go unreported, Italian mayor says
archive.is/jSg8E

20-Mar: Mayor in Italy says death toll 4 times higher than detected
archive.is/0pqdp

20-Mar: Nurse in Italy: "We no longer count the dead"
archive.is/8jQYP

18-Mar: People are not being tested in Japan despite symptoms
archive.is/YBLyY

Based Pete browses here

Wimbledon now cancelled.

How long until Notting Hill Carnival is cancelled?

Imagine the scenes.

microwave your cutlery to sterilize them

>People working in vital services and industries such as the NHS, emergency services, utilities and telecoms may be deemed a priority for an ICU bed.
tell me your job lad

we're looking at around 50 million deaths in the UK if the infection rate is as low as 80%.

Fasting ends in just over a week, lads.

Looking forward to a full English and tea with milk.

Fookin' lush.

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I have seen little kids wearing masks & looking terrified.
nearly three weeks now & where are all the sick people?

Fuck. Fair enough, cheers.

I love you lads, lots

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>135
Why is the recovery number in the UK so low?

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is /cvg/ raiding us?

A small amount of antifreeze, added to your fruit drink, wards off the Covid virus.

why didn’t you talk to me on omegle

Lee seems pretty based desu

Mhh? When?

Probably the same reason 163 critical/serious hasn't changed in days.
R NHS is overwhlemed and has been for days.

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