/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2787

>tfw no mommywife to quarantine with
its not fair bros

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Based and Garypilled

Where's the April Fool's joke?

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>every fucking day it gets worse
I just want a collapse already.

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it's even more of a bullshit than the italian flu

Soon

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There is none. It got cancelled like everything else

Chinese distraction tactics to divert the public from covid. Definitely bull.

Reminder that loli coronachan > sexy coronachan

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Listen faggots
>flu kills 250,000 a year
>Measles kills 500,000 a year
>hepatitis b kills 800,000 a year
>hiv/aids kills a million a year
>noro virus kills 50,000 a year
>ebola kills 10,000 a year
>car crashes kill two million a year
>murder and war kills 5 million a year
>coconuts kill 100,000 a year
>falling down that stairs kills 40,000 a year
>DIY accidents kill 15000 a year
>Niggers murder 600,000 a year
>botched transsexual surgeries kill 500 a year
>food poisoning kills 6 million a year
>erectile dysfunction kills 20,000 a year
>lightning strikes kill 500 a year (double if it strikes twice)
>Medical malpractice in the US claims 250k lives a year alone
>diarrhea kills 1.8 million A YEAR
It's a nothing burger

The April Fool's joke is thinking this would be over by April 1st

Hello

i thought the common cold was a rhinovirus

this, but in absolute unironic deadly seriousness

So, by how much is China ommiting their real number of cases?

Hi

>COUNTRIES LIST
United States 188,578 (3,890) Italy 105,792 (12,428) Spain 95,923 (8,464) China 81,518 (3,305) Germany 71,808 (775) France 52,128 (3,523) Iran 44,605 (2,898) United Kingdom 25,150 (1,789) Switzerland 16,605 (433) Turkey 13,531 (214) Belgium 12,775 (705) Netherlands 12,595 (1,039) Austria 10,180 (128) South Korea 9,887 (165) Canada 8,612 (101) Portugal 7,443 (160) Brazil 5,812 (202) Israel 5,358 (20) Australia 4,804 (20) Norway 4,641 (39) Sweden 4,435 (180) Czech Republic 3,308 (31) Ireland 3,235 (71) Denmark 2,860 (90) Malaysia 2,766 (43) Chile 2,738 (12) Russia 2,337 (17) Poland 2,311 (33) Ecuador 2,302 (79) Romania 2,245 (82) Japan 2,229 (66) Luxembourg 2,178 (23) Philippines 2,084 (88) Pakistan 1,938 (26) Thailand 1,651 (10) Saudi Arabia 1,563 (10) Indonesia 1,528 (136) Finland 1,418 (17) India 1,397 (35) South Africa 1,353 (5) Greece 1,314 (49) Mexico 1,215 (29) Panama 1,181 (30) Iceland 1,135 (2) Dominican Republic 1,109 (51)…

>LATEST CHANGES
United States +48 (+1) South Korea +101 (+3) Brazil +95 (+1) Mexico +121 (+1) Honduras +31 (+3) Bolivia +8 (+1) Trinidad & Tobago (+1) Australia +41 New Zealand +61 Kazakhstan +5 Bahamas +1 Suriname +1 Caribbean Netherlands +2…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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Post your comfy quarantine vidya.
Thread theme: Birth of a New Day by 2814
youtube.com/watch?v=bJGvLLEZQAA
>HOTS
>Madden 20
>Blasphemous
How are you hanging in bros? My drinking is skyrocketing. I've been loving the /cvg/ general but now that this is really a pandemic massacring people things are surreal to me. My bro and qt latina gf have to carry letters saying they are essential because some counties in my state are enforcing shelter in place now. My drinking is skyrocketing. Hey bro if you see this.

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Kys pedoboi

pedo

That's not a thing!

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You guys good?

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Aparently my country is the joke now.
Shit is getting scary.

>erectile dysfunction kills 20,000 a year

Kek

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Yeah, thanksfully not a burger on this blessed day

most of the time (~80%) it is. but 4 of the 7 known coronaviruses also cause mild cold-like symptoms and fall under the umbrella of the "common cold".

>does anyone else ever get violent thoughts when they see a woman
like whenever i see some fucking thot sticking her ass out wearing almost nothing obviously vying for attention and wanting to be desired, i find it hard to stop myself from daydreaming about bashing her smug fucking whore face in with a fucking golf club, watching her expression go from that fake "trying to be cute" face they all make to fear and then horror as she starts screaming and pleading with me before i hit her again and knock the wind out of her disgusting whore body, her screaming turns to frantic gurgling as i keep bashing her stupid fucking face in over and over until even that subsides, she's unrecognizable her head is a bloody bubbling pulp, all shades of red speckled with bright white and soggy grey littering her crushed cranium alongside tufts of her stupid fucking dyed hair jesus fucking christ i hate these people so god damned much i don't even want pussy from them i don't want their attention i don't want to be liked by these vile people they're disgusting, if one of them touched me i'd cut my fucking hand off i just want them to fucking DIE

China said it is over, so they are not lying at all. The great chinese party should have cured everyone using the cure the great leader once used during the great leap forward, the legendary 9mm of pure love.

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requestibf timelapse photos like this one

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My favourite thing about posts like these is filtering all the normies who reply.

rolling

30 Year Old Boomer Takes THIRTY MINUTES to Figure Out How to Use Discord

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Nothingburger. Everyone on the bus was from the same factory and lived in same village. Chances are either the factory or village was mouse infested. Rather than human-to-human spread they all got it from the same rodent source. Won't spread beyond them so it's nothing.

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HOLY SHIT
55chan.org/b/catalog.html

Lmao and what the fuck is the gov doing?

it's the same person, every time, posting this on every god damn thread. Are you autistic? is this just what you do? I don't understand why you post this. I'm truly astonished. It would be great if you actually posted something worthwhile but instead you post this shit. Every god damn thread you post this shit. it isn't funny, it never was. Being annoying isn't trolling. Doing this kind of shit is more akin to being a fucking moron. You're probably sitting there, laughing to yourself like: aye, gottem again! stop it. stop it stop it stop it stop it. I'm so fucking tired of this horse shit. Take the knife your mom keeps in the drawer next to the oven and slit your god damn throat you miserable piece of shit. I hope you rot in hell.

the vaccine will be the joke

You get it by eating uncooked rats or breathing in aerosolized rat shit. No human to human reported.

Mortality depends on which one; hemorrhagic/renal is lower than Corona, and the one that causes pneumonia is MERS-tier.

"soon" in any sort of geological events means THOUSANDS if not tens of thousands of years.

Ah but when you add those up along with 100k-200k more from covid, it’s kind of a significant increase in deaths within that year

shit bro, stay safe pls

hope you and your familly make it

April Fool:

CORONAVIRUS VACCINE READY TO DISTRIBUTE

Man, feels like it was only yesterday turks were going on about zero cases. I'm starting to get nostalgic over the early days of the outbreak.
Surprised we're not dark red yet

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Don't you talk to Gary like that, faggot

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>FUTURE MARKETS
United States (-1.74%) Germany (-0.91%) France (-0.78%) United Kingdom (-2.50%) Italy (+0.29%) Switzerland (-0.15%) Spain (+1.03%) Austria (+3.37%) Poland (+2.88%) Netherlands (-0.11%) Hungary (0.00%) Russia (+3.45%) Greece (+0.00%) Brazil (-3.86%) Japan (-1.93%) Hong Kong (-1.55%) China (+0.15%) Australia (-0.67%) Singapore (-1.39%) India (-2.69%) South Korea (-0.89%) Taiwan (-0.56%) South Africa (+2.03%)

>LIVE TRAFFIC
Sydney (-9%) Tokyo (-16%) Beijing (-23%) Wuhan (-24%) New Delhi (-4%) Dubai (-15%) Moscow (-24%) Rome (0%) Milan (0%) Berlin (-6%) Munich (-1%) Brussels (-3%) Paris (-4%) Madrid (0%) Barcelona (-3%) London (0%) Johannesburg (+1%) Sao Paulo (-17%) Buenos Aires (-1%) New York (-12%) Washington (-8%) Miami (-7%) Toronto (-9%) Chicago (-9%) Houston (-8%) Mexico City (-38%) Los Angeles (-19%) Seattle (-7%)

>LOCKDOWNS AGGREGATE
India (1.3b) China (760m) United States (261m) Pakistan (211m) Mexico (129m) Egypt (97m) Germany (82m) Philippines (70m) Brazil (66m) France (66m) United Kingdom (66m) Italy (60m) South Africa (56m) Colombia (49m) Spain (46m) Argentina (44m) Ukraine (42m) Poland (37m) Morocco (35m) Peru (32m) Venezuela (32m) Malaysia (31m) Nepal (29m) Australia (24m) Russia (20m) Romania (19m) Netherlands (17m) Ecuador (16m) Rwanda (12m) Belgium (11m) Tunisia (11m) Czech Republic (10m) Dominican Republic (10m) Greece (10m) Portugal (10m)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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only Guayaquil is fucked? what about Quito?

sky news said by a factor of 40. Now the UK govt is super pissed.

You'll be brown soon enough. Isn't that bad enough

life..

A little over 2 weeks ago.
Thnaks
where are you from?
How old are you?
There are no home depots here, the video was taken in the south of the city I believe.
Thanks Im trying

Im worried about my parents, both on their 60´s, When I go out to buy stuff I wear my 3m mask, goggles and yellow raincoat. I shower on the front lawn desinfect my shoes, put my clothes on a bag etc etc. Really trying to be careful.

what about absolutely NOTHING?

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April Fools has been officially postponed until June, sorry.

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First hanta virus cope article
aa.com.tr/en/health/hantavirus-not-major-threat-expert/1786157

Why are they saying that there is no human to human transmission? When there are cases that this happened. researchgate.net/post/Can_Hanta_virus_transmit_from_person_to_person_any_reported_case

I don't want to be this deep of a doomer but same thing happened with corona and WHO.

Speaking of which, this hoax is popular in Japan.
"Natto is effective for coronavirus prevention."
Do you know natto?

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Nothing, we don't have any money, our heatlchare system is collapsed, i lost a cousin and all my family in Guayaquil is contaminated, it's very sad our situation
twitter.com/EmergenciasEc/status/1245063501997015045

Is your country in full lockdown?

Dark red beats the brown out.

post coronabutt gif please

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Could someone explain this to a brainlet?

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see
You are an unattractive hairy individual no matter how many anime girls you post. You are probably picking your nose and farting in nasty old sweatpants.

no please tell us kawaii anime girl

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Shit man. Some heads need to roll after everything blows out

Pretty sure that stuff taste like shit, so probably a rumor spread by normies to eat shit for fun.

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That's a lot of dry cleaning. Why would leave those suits on the floor like that?

you are the new china ecuador

Quito is relatively safe now, but we don't made enough testing so probably is matter of time for a worse situation

You have some faggots chastise a celeb for buying 8kg of rice. I know jap side of internet is kinda yabai but I didn't think it was this weird.

Checked. Also, turbokek

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Natto is lovely. And it's good for you anyway. Better than fish tank cleaner at least.

>tfw down to my last roll of toilet paper

I don't think I'm gonna make it bros

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this will be a fucking boogaloo in all latin america

mark my words

I'm suddenly feeling a strong desire to fuck Corona-chan's brains out.

Only here, (amigos de otras provincias me dijeron que tambien hay muertos por el virus en hospitales, pero no al nivel de mi ciudad)
where from user?

Under quarantine.

never heard of stacking?

We have a similar idea spreading involving surströmming and some Icelandic traditional dishes.

you see this simple cute symbol(-)?
the higher the number besides it gets
the higher the chance of seeing ppl go pewpew pooosh Oo boom noo mama noo im dying lol pewpewpew

KRUGER TRIBE MANY TP MORE TP

She got you bro, kys before you join the herd

they should start stacking the bodies like sandbags to defend against the coming level 5 chimpout

We need more threads.

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>>erectile dysfunction kills 20,000 a year
I'd like to know the mechanics of this.

fuck off newfag

Whats life and the outbreak like in Iraq, Arab-san?

see that i would believe.

he is with us

Just use a cloth then wash the cloth. That's what some people did even before the TP shortage.

>we don't have any money
Did your gov cut the income of public servants to fund the healthcare system?

Is that the fermented shark? Or the bird thing?

what the fuck are we caught in a time loop?

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Thank u Saddam

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What about SARS and MERS tho?

>(Reset: -22:09:33)
what is this??

Isn't Natto mashed fish or something?

How come this series had so many instances of her involving shitting?

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Gotta wait till the rigor mortise sets in otherwise they're all floppy.

Believe me. If there is one thing ecuatorians are good at is taking down the head of state.

Soibeans? Seems like bullshit to me

>aye, gottem again! stop it. stop it stop it stop it stop it
Hysterical argie, you embarase us all

Do any anons have a theory as to why FL, AZ, and NV seem to get hit less hard by ILI? What do they have in common? Press Play on the ILI state map and watch how AZ stays green the entire time.
Why is FL not getting slammed by corona? Both AZ and FL are full of old ppl.
cdc.gov/flu/weekly/index.htm

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I've been under a rock for like a week and it was a few thousand dead now it's up to 50,000

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Yeah especially since it tends to spread easily in poor areas. Shit's fucked

my papa is getting mad over the curfew and can't stop yelling all the time
i once nearly got arrested for getting our trying to buy headphones
but it's comfy for a neet like me!! normies want to killthemselves here lol

It's the canned fermented herring shit, and there's another thing going around about fermented shark. There's a theme running through it all.

turbokek

Supposedly, we has a quarantine alert for a while but people still wanted to go to the beach and do shit.
Quito was having parties and Guayaquil acted like life was still normal despite having some confirmed cases.

Gotta get em positioned before the rigor sets in, then they settle into it. Like interlocking bricks

Hey argie Bros, how do you reckon this is gonna play out over there?
My whole family and friends are over there, mainly in Bs As, in one of the well off middle class neighborhood. I'm worried about them although they are taking it very seriously.

You can keep asking, you won't get it if you don't make it yourself.

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U bulli.

I've told you guys several times that I'm NOT trans. I just like to cutepost.

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Best of luck user, may the circumstances be merciful upon you and yours

Sounds gross. Smoked or dried fish is ok, but fermented meats just weird me out

Couldn't have even bothered to buy a 10 dollar plastic jerrycan or at the very least 2 dollar ziplock bags. .
I don't understand these things.

Untill people are concerned about 1 million abortions a year i dont want to hear concern about china flu deaths.

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OK
月ノ美兎
youtube.com/channel/UCD-miitqNY3nyukJ4Fnf4_A

I truly hope so. Your gov should've taken measures as soon as the first case appeared.

free tracking microchip included

Kill yourself, newfag.

>you will live to see more hantachan OC
nice

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natto (fermented onions) is rich in vitamin K, and helps to synthesize vitamin D which is proven to lower the risk of respiratory illness (both viral and bacterial).

Fish has vitamin D...so eating a diet with natto (vit K) and fish (vit D) would increase absorption of something proven to prevent respiratory illness (corona).

We're mostly immune, but the spring breakers who vacationed here gave Corona-chan a hitchhike. That was awfully nice of them.

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Why would you faggots even come here,reddit will suck your cock, go there.

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post ghost town hospitals

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shieeett you need curfew right now....but maybe it's too late

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Necrotetris

>tomoko in the bathroom
>her friend's catching a cough

they aint gonna make it

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beilstein-journals.org/bjoc/articles/14/45

she sounds pretty
i still prefer kizuna ai

eat deenz and raw unfiltered honey

It's too late for Guayaquil
twitter.com/JamlmantillaBSC/status/1244091870659121152

Normies never listen. A military enforced lockdown could've costed some money but at least everything would be under control.

twitter.com/la_patilla/status/1244378800856674307

get a load of this bois, how many days till we see plague doctors in latin america?

I would assume heart attacks from hard on pills. Or suicide maybe.

USA

USA

USA

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fermented herring is rich in vitamin D.

see

meanwhile he's in a bunker somewhere shitposting about this all day

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natto is fermented s 0 y

There has been a cerfew, but only for 2 weeks, so no much effect ont he numbers ATM.

Anyway I know you're confused, but part of why I had you add me was so we don't have to actually full-on ERP in public

No one here seems to actually know what ERP is and they think it's what we've been doing

Do you want me to teach you?

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You could probably make a zombie themed tetris mobile app and make a fuckin mint with a Halloween release

Dog bless XDDD

>trash on the hospital floor
thats pretty fucked up

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How long it takes before the daily increases reset
Last thread it went up to +80k cases, then it reset to whatever it is now

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FL is incubating hardcore, dont you know that they already have built field hospitals everywhere? pretty much all of FL will be nyc in 2 weeks

Why do you say you're immune? Do you think corona has been there for a while already? You dont think it has anything to do with the climate or the population makeup there? Cause LA is fucked and has similar climate, correct?

f-f-f-fake news
! losers!

np bush

You anons better have confessed and repented for your sins.
Accept Jesus as the Lord and Savior, for these are our last days on this wretched planet, you don't wanna die as a sinner.

Roll?

>Pre-proof

Worth taking but still can be anything.

our boomers in the nigger nursing homes are getting the coof

The thing about the current goverment is that is filled with weak people.
We had a "crisis" last year because of the oil price and shit was just the typical people angry and yelling but nothing serious.
Suddenly the president and ministers get scared and scape the fucking capital to go to Guayaquil and shit just scalated from there.
And it all ended like it started, in an overnight after the goverment made some deals.
Shit was retarded.

So many youtube videos filled with fake anglo names jumping at any anti-Chinese comment. I've even seen a fucking Peter Parker lmao

Corona-chan accelerated the process of destroction of this country.
Obrigado, Corona-chan

I've been here since '09 and I ain't leaving. I'll be here forever cuteposting until you bullis get fag infected. MWAHAHA.

YEAA, teach me daddy.

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but it just makes you seem like a fat lonely hairy loser.

destruction*

Thanks for the pasta bro

>t. room-temperature IQ

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I do think theres a really long incubation period with this, 2 weeks is what I believe by looking at the ILI map info. But then why is AZ almost untouched by ILI every year? I am positive that a lot of coronavirus ppl are being counted as just ILI because they are not testing very many people at all.

WTF is going on??!!

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>FL is incubating hardcore
Idk why this gave me vibes of the Alien franchise.

Guayaquil is fucked and i don't think they will recover in a long while.
There is hope maybe in the jungle and the countryside.
And maybe small towns and cities since they are starting to react.