What is the craziest, most insane thing you've ever heard a woman say?

Hard mode: In real life only.

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In my high school chemistry class, I was paired with a black girl to do a project, and she wasn’t doing shit, so I told her to contribute more and:
>well your ancestors enslaved my ancestors :)
..
lmfao I’m a first gen Bosnian.

Did you colonize her to correct her?

>I think

He raped me.

I want a family

Mutilated penises "look better" Stupid brainwashed cunts.

i don't listen to women, so i wouldn't know

>You need to untangle the cable to let more internet out.
Lets play a game anons. First to guess her generations win.

I'm sorry. I was being a bitch

liar

"I don't want to be relationship right now, but i will want to get married when i'm 30." Females who say this will never have a husband.

Black women are ugly, so no. I only like Slavic girls.

Personnally I heard "Woman are more rude with woman than man with man"

I think she was redpilled, a Feminist world will be hell

"Maybe we just need to give Somalians a little time to evolve."

I used to pork a stupid ass slampig virgin(until i changed it) med student. Wanted to get married and have kids at 34. I bootyclapped her into oblivion and made her feel like a sack of shit to the point she had a psychotic break and tried to kill herself. Fuck bitches

Two female collegues talking after the 2008 crash
>Why dont they print money for everyone so everyone gets rich.
> second one agrees
I work in banking law...........

>I can't believe you don't want to talk to her she has so much experience

>Considering somalians are unevolved
Based

They do, same with females

you're cool

I once had a woman tell me
>you can trust me

You ever hear that anons you RUN.

This is basically niggers go to response when anybody calls them out on anything. I can still remember some dumb nigger trying to cut in line when I was in middle school, I told him to get to the back of the line and I shit you not his response was “It’s black history month so I can do what I want”. I learned to hate niggers at a very young age.

>42 yr old colombian
>is not married
>tells me she thinks the best age for a man to get married is 37 and a woman 30

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>If you get me pregnant I WILL kill your baby

Jebo te ti sto nisi je odma pukao je u usta? Sto si medzutijme te majmunima?

>and then everyone clapped

Kys, degenerate.

I had a female coworker that led me to wonder if females can think without moving their lips. This woman would spend eight hours a day telling us about everything that happened to her in the eight waking hours since we saw her last. If she ran out of material, she would recount to us everything she happened to remember from before that. Or she would apprise us of every random thought going through her head. It was because of her I learned why people wore headphones. She could not stop talking.

The best snapshot I can recall of being around her was one day when I came to work and I simply did not have anything to say for about two hours.

Simply because I had nothing to communicate, she asked me if something was wrong. She literally thought peace, quiet and silence was evidence of a problem and a symptom of distress.

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Millennial

That I look like a Nazi. The thing is I'm crazy and she was right.

Once was shown an aborted fetus in a liquor bottle. “He was born that way”

Inner city user here.... dark times

"My first boyfriend raped my virginity"

>go for after work drinks with my boss's assistant
>notorious bitch who flaunts her position and likes to humiliate people
>she's hung up on a man who won't commit and I think she just wants to post photos of her with me on social media to make him jealous
>starts of very formal and business-like but two cocktails later she starts talking about her vagina
>tells me she's going to send this guy a photo of said vagina
>I've zoned out at this point because no one wants to see 29 year old pussy
>guy never replies and she turns her attention to me
>clearly trying to steer the conversation towards me asking to see her vagina
>tells me she's got her clit pierced
>tells me she knows I'd love to see it in the bathroom
>deliberately avoid answering because I'm sleeping with a mutual collegue of ours who is younger, prettier and not an insecure roastie
>this collegue turns up some time later. Roastie convinces her to go to the bathroom so she can show off her piercing

Imagine... getting so drunk you have to convince the people you work with to look at your vagina and then expecting them to still respect you the next day at work.
IMAGINE.

Had a girl in my politics class say we should let anyone into the country because Muh feelings. Giving them the right to vote was the biggest mistake ever.

I do

First time I met online gf in real life:
"thank god you're not a nigger"

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>WRONG HOLE WRONG HOLE
I mean how is that even possible?

>Could you lend me your credit card?

>At lunch time at work go to the bank to argue about an issue with my credit card
>Bank is at a strip mall close to work
>Couple of guys and new girl walk to the mall to have lunch around there and walk me to the bank
>A week later the new girl asks if I solved the issue
>I say yes
>She asks if she can use my credit card to buy a living room set
I mean, everyone was hitting on her for being the cute new girl in the office (only guys there), but to think that I was going to hand my credit card to a complete stranger out of the blue. I have no idea how women think, maybe it had worked with someone.

>listening to women


I'm not a simp, faggot.

not saying
>it's not the wrong hole, you choose the wrong penis

"We are all in this together"

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Some people supposedly don’t have an inner monologue with themselves

Her ancestors were colonized by the Bosnian Bull.

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>do you want to move in with me?
It was a co-worker, she asked me in an elevator, and I had only been working there for about a month.

>"I'm never going to learn how to cook because I don't want a man to make me do all the cooking"

One of my sisters. Four years later, she cooks. Turns out she didn't like eating exclusively microwaved meals and fast food. Still doesn't have a boyfriend though.

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I can do whatever I want

>Haha! I'm not sure how big my poo will be in the morning though!

I overheard her saying to someone on the phone

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>"A bee bit me!"
She never lived that down

we have the most beautiful women in the world, we don't need shaniqua.

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I once heard a chick say that men store pee in their balls. Dead serious.

"I was having sex with the guy and at first i thoight it was good, but then i realized he wasnt and it was all an illusion because of his confidence level, it felt better than it was. Then i heard some freshman who also fucked hin say it was amazing sex, lol those girls were morons." In an uber

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>"I'm strong, independent, and need no man."

Chad getting his 80% cut.

>"thank god you're not a nigger"
BASED

I heard a hoe in a smoke shop talking to a nigger and a sandnigger about how they should come over because her boyfriend who was in the military is gone.. Never trust a bitch

>Wouldn't it be spooky if Halloween was on Friday the 13th?
Not joking.

>M. how many guy's have you slept with?
>F. five.
>M. Bullshit, how many really?
>F. 180, but I only count the ones I fuck, I don't count the ones that fuck me.

Took longer than that to wriggle it out of her, but that was the convo essentially.
True story.

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>it's your baby

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"I'm vegan. And my dog is vegan too."

>i_wish_i_was_joking.mp3

>I DON'T WANT TO BE GOOD ENOUGH
- she screamed in frustrated anger after I told het she doesn't need implants and her B-cups were good enough (seriously, I'd fuck her if she needed it)

"I love you, user."

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my jew stepmom really doesn't like other jews at near nazi levels

Me to ex wife "Did you fuck that guy?"
Her "NO!!!!"

I stopped to think a minute, as shit didn't add up still, but I was beginning to think she was demented

Me "Did he penetrate you?"
Her (pauses, then softly) "yes."

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>I love you

Uncle adolph sends you his love

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IRL: "I don't like the taste of water"

>180
Good God, man.

I realized this is basically why my wife nags me. She doesn't see quiet contemplation as a productive activity. She's engaged in chores, social media, Netflix, or talking to our family 100% of her waking hours. I'm sure she fits time to think in there somewhere, but it's clearly not a priority or a natural predilection.

>no one wants to see 29 year old pussy.

17 year old detected.

Me to ex wife:
"take my car to work, and I'll do the service on yours today, plus fit the dashcam, and give it a wash" (trying to be nice)

Her: "You're not on my insurance, you can't drive my car, what if you have a crash, we'll lose everything, they'll sue us for everything! We'll lose the house! Where will we live? What will we do with the kids! WHY DO WANT US TO LOSE THE HOUSE!!!"

all in the space of 15 seconds...

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Kek

>be me
>need new shoes
>go to shoe store
>look through the shoes on the wall and find one I like
>try it on, it fits and I like it
>ask 7.5 qt working there for the other shoe so I can buy it
>she goes in back
>iwatchherbuttwiggleanditwasnice.jpeg
>she comes back out
>she tells me that they don't have the other shoe but they have a shipment coming in on the weekend and if I want to buy that shoe they will save the other one for pick up
>MFW

Not from a woman that desperate.
Damn, now you're reminding me of one time a woman who saw herself as a cougar asked me to take my shirt off in the middle of a bar. Not as a joke, either. She also offered to buy me a drink and was accompanied by a six-foot-tall dude who apparently was her wingman? Lover?
Fuck that shit.

Winrar

This bitch was 17, 100% she said this. She was talking about her plan in life:

>First you marry a hot guy, you get good looking kids then divorce him

>Then you marry a rich guy, divorce and take half the money

>Then you marry for love


Fuckin hos

>girlfriends sister
>friends with sister for few years before dating gf
>early 20's, partying a lot
>visibly upset about something
>"whats wrong"
>pouts about a bit
>tells me
>user I woke up with cum in my hair this morning but don't remember it
>like... you got raped?
>No! its just... this is like the 9th time this has happened... am I an alcoholic?

Why would you marry that?

Holy fuck, your woman wear clothes