/Jew jokes/

Know any jew jokes?

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Drumpf is a kike

The State of Israel

I knew a really funny joke but the ADL had my memory wiped. My neural connections were antisemitic

How do you start a Jewish parade? By rolling a penny down the street

C'mon tell some kike jokes, I need a good chuckle.

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There's lots of them walking around in Hollywood.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?

A priest and a Rabbi are walking together when they see a young boy crossing the street after school. The priest says, "hey, see that boy? Let's fuck him" The Rabbi says, "fuck him out of what?"

Well?

2 in the front
3 in the back
500 in the ashtray

That was funny actually

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Know how copper wire was invented?
2 jews fought over a penny

I KNOW 6.000.000
ANNA FRANKLY ALL ANTISEMITIC

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>What did the Jewish pedophile say to the child?
Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?

Jewish girl calls her dad in a panic
>Dad, there's been an emergency, I need to borrow $100!
Dad replies, "Oy vey, $50? What do you need $20 for? Imagine, my own daughter wanting to rob me of my last $5.

A jew
A Italian
A chink
A ozzy on a plane
The pilot tells them there is a fuel shortage and engine failure and they need to dump whatever isn't important out so the plane can be lighter and they can make it to the airport

The chink throws rice out and says "we got plenty of that back home"
The Italian throws pasta out and says " we got plenty of that back home"
The ozzy throws the chink out and says " we got plenty of that back home"

Why do jews have long noses
Because air is free

How was coper wire invented?
Two jews were fighting for a penny

'Fraid I only know nigger jokes.

This is not a joke. In my country our probably biggest and most popular bank was sending to us this sms message the other day how to pay online bills without going to the bank while this outbreak. It literally stated on my language please click on the link to learn more. But the link is shortened via link shorthener. Ok they want to make some money. But here is the funny part. Link shortener guys are paying 0.0004$ per clicks from Serbian clicks. So that means that they need 1000 000 clicks to earn 400$. Making you click ads on websites just so someone can make 400$ at best. What a fuck is 400$ to them Fucking jew niggers

Did you here about the Jew who walked into a wall while he had an erection? Broke his nose.

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
He fell off the guard tower.

My grandfather served there too. He was killed when another soldier fell out of a tower.

What did the Jewish pedo say to the little boy ?

: wanna buy some candy ?

A black Jewish boy came home from school asking his father “daddy am I more black, or Jewish?” His father says “why do you want to know son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it.”

What's the difference between a jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips.

All of them.

What is the worst part about being a niggerkike ?
You have to sit at the back of the oven

So the joke is the jew doesn't throw out anything because he's egocentric?

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Mine was shot when he tried to rob two dead comrades.

Yes, that they aren't involved in the targeted individual program or human trafficking.

How do you fit 6 million jews into a single car?

The ash tray (btw this is a common joke here, nobody cares about anti semitic screeching)

Now that I think of it, my other grandfather was also shot because he tried to rape three dead comrades of his and my greatuncle took his own life when he saw a four man necro orgy.

Made me chuckle.

Jew walks into a bar, and sees that the bartender is Oriental." Hey Ping Pong, got any Manischewitz?"

The Chinese bartender replied,
>"Why yes sir, I do stock Manischewitz, but why did you call me Ping-Pong? My name is Chang Laung."

The Jew replied back, "Ping-Pong, Ching-Chong, what's the difference?"

The Chinaman replied, "I'm sorry sir, I can't serve you on account of you sinking the Titanic."

The Jew scoffed, "What? You blame Jews for sinking the Titanic? That was an iceberg!"

The Chinaman replied, "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

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The best joke is
>DEATH CAMP SURVIVORS

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Catholic, Protestant, and Jew arguing over how much to give to the church.
Catholic:" We draw a circle on the ground, throw the money into the air, all money that lands inside the circle goes to the church."

Protestant:" All the money that lands outside the circle goes to the church."
Jew: "We throw the money into air, and whatever God wants, he keeps!"

Actually many jokes can be rewritten to fit jews.
Most of these were initially dead baby jokes:

What's better than three dead jews in a trash can?
>A dead jew in three trash cans.

What's even better?
>Three trash cans in a dead jew.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a jew?
>You take off your boots when jumping around on a trampoline.

What do you do when you see a limping jew?
>Stop laughing and reload.

How do you save a jew from drowning?
>Take your boot off of his head.

Why are you so focused on the jew when the ozzy just committed murder
What are you a anti semite or something

came here to find this one.
i work at an electronics factory and use it all the time.

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kek

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You know what the swimming pool in Auschwitz was actually for?
My grandfather built it and glued a penny to the bottom so they would all drown.

Whats worse than a trash can full of dead jew babies?
The one on the bottom is still alive. What is worse than that?
He is eating his way to the top!

Fucking hell, my sides.

You madman

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Two Jews are sitting on a park bench, reading newspapers. One looks over and notices, with some surprise, that the second Jew is reading Der Sturmer, the viciously anti-semitic Nazi paper. "Why are you reading that?" he asks. The second Jew sighs and looks at his paper. "What does your paper say about the Jews?" he asks. "Well," says the first Jew, looking at his Zionist weekly. "It says that the Jews are being harassed; that they're being beaten, and their property is being taken away from them; that they're being gathered up and taken away in trains to who knows where." "Exactly," nodded the second Jew. "Now look at this paper. In this paper, we control the world's economy; we have our men inside all the world's governments; we're an unstoppable force. Now tell me the truth: which Jews would you rather be?"

A nazi sees a Jew walking toward him. As the Jew passes by, the Nazi says, "Schwein." The Jew tips his hat and replies, "Cohen."

I was expecting something along the lines "and this newspaper tells you why"

Hitchens

Here's a better one, but not Jewish.

A Chinaman walks into a bar, and sees that the bartender is African-American. The Chinaman puts a big smile on his face, sits at the bar, and says,
>Hello, nigger. Pour me a jigger!

The black bartender gets serious.
>You have no idea what that word means to me, my people, and the suffering we had to endure for generations. In fact, I want to see how it feels for you. We're going to trade places, so you can learn how it feels.

So the Chinaman stands behind the bar, and the black guy walks out and walks right back in. He's got a big shit-eating grin on his face, plops himself down at the bar, slams his fist on the table and says loud enough for everyone else to hear
>WHAT UP, CHINK? POUR ME A DRINK!

The Chinaman just laughs.
>Sorry, my bar, we don't serve niggers.

>letting him pass by
Not a nazi.

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Would have been funnier if you said the Jew stood there and did nothing

Jesus wasn't jewish

Diverting from the topic, I got a non-kike joke, too.

Nigger walks into a bar, orders a beer.
Faggot comes over, asks him "You want a blowjob?"
Nigger drags him out the front door, bashes his face in and kicks him until he stops moving.
Goes back in, drinks his beer.
Barkeeper asks "What was that all about?"
So the nigger replies "He wanted to give me a job or something"

A Jewish grandmother was walking on the beach with her young grandson when a huge wave crashed and washed the young boy away. The grandmother dropped to her knees, looked up to the sky and prayed,
>Oh Gawd, please bring back my grandson, he's the only thing I've got left in this world!

Miraculously, another wave crashed on the beach, and her grandson landed safely in her arms.

The Jewish woman looked up to the sky, "Hey, he had a hat!"

During the Great Depression, two Jewish bindlestiffs, hoboes, are walking along a country road; they haven't had a good meal in weeks. They pass by a church with a sign posted in front; CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY. GET FIVE DOLLARS. The first Jew looks at the second and say, "How about it?" The second one says, "Are you crazy? I'd never give up my faith, and certainly not for something like five dollars." The first replies, "Of course not! I'm not talking about really converting; just go in there, mumble some lines about Jesus, cross yourself, take the money, and get a big steak dinner and a hot bath thanks to the goyim." The second says, "Look, I'm not comfortable with that, but if you want to do it, go ahead. I'll wait outside." The first one says, "Fine; I'll be five minutes." The second one leans against a sign and waits. Five minutes pass. Then fifteen. Then an hour. Then two hours. The second Jew is getting more and more worried. Finally, after four hours, his companion emerges from the church. The second Jew is beside himself. "Are you all right?" he asks. "Did you get the money?" His friend shakes his head sorrowfully. "All you people think about is money."

Holocaust jokes arent funny, Anne frankly this site should be shut down

A Jew was stopped on the street by a bully and challenged to say whose fault it was that Europe was in such a mess. "The Jews," said the Jew, knowing his audience and being no fool, "and the bicycle riders." "The bicycle riders?" replied the bully, nonplussed. "Why the bicycle riders?" "Why the Jews?" the Jew replied.

How do you get a Jewish girls number?

Ask her to roll up her sleeve.

Once a bear escaped from a circus. The chief of police ordered that the bear should be shot on sight. When one Jew heard that, he decided to get out of town. "Why are you running away?" asked his friend. "You're not a bear." The Jew replied, "Listen. Before you know it, they'll shoot a Jew- and then go prove he's not a bear!"

Great joke Norm!