Brit/pol/

>worldwide CFR (including china's fake numbers) just hit 19%. this was at 6% a few weeks ago.

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>bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52092809

Barca players take huge paycut

How much food did you prep?
Have you accepted fate of dieing or are you still holed up inside?

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Who says you can't get shit on your fist?

>he still doesn't understand CFR

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>mUG
Time for a cuppa i think

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Start Shaving Hair

>he thinks the governments will just lift the lockdown once it’s over
Why would they ever give up this level of control over the population?

preppers are fucking retards. They bought 2 weeks worth of pot noodles and now they are shuffling around tescos like the rest of us.

the same thing happend with SARS. the (((WHO))) said it had a really low CFR and it ended up being 3x as deadly as their predictions.

went to the petrol station supermarket and there was 3 cop cars parked up, the coppers stood outside loitering. they're on to me. the gig is up. had to buy frozen peas as an alibi for essential travel. i am jason bourne.

>BONG

>BONG

>BONG

>BONG

>BONG

>BONG

where's that retard who made the conspiracy about me lmao

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Love you lads, lots

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>step 2: ???
They kind of want us to go about working and buying things on credit though

lush

Any current or ex alchies around?
Been boozing pretty hard over the past 12 months. Full on binge drinking a dozen pints or more at least 2 or 3 days per week. Sometimes 4. Been on a boozer binge past few days and I've started shitting pure black slop that sticks to the toilet. I'm worried that I'm having some kind of internal bleeding. Any of you had this? No pain or anything else abnormal that I can tell. Tempted to drink again tonight.

How do preppers know when to start tucking into their stash? I mean things are shit right now but know knows it might get worse.

>He explains that every year, there are over 100 different respiratory viruses that cause what we label “the flu,” and that these viruses constantly change every year to avoid the human immune system, and that one of the classes of these viruses is Coronavirus. I didn’t know this, but it is true.

>He cites a study in Scotland that took place from 2005 to 2013, where they did mass tests on the various forms of winter virus that cause the flu, and found that 7-15% of flu cases are caused by Coronaviruses. Or at least that was the case in Glasgow from 2005 to 2013.

Literally just a flu

>me me me lmao me

You need to do some real research.
Lay off the Daily Mail bullshit.

MRS HAS BEEN SHAGGING ME ROTTEN DURING BANGUP LADS.

>FILTHY MARE

>SARS was just a flu
>MERS was just a flu

Your mom said she's tired of fisting

Funny that I saw 4 coppers with two patrol cars loitering on a garage forecourt earlier. Certainly weren't keeping their 2 metres. What's their game?

>me me me
me too

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love you too mate
hows the situation in italy right now?

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started seeing a bird the literal day semi-lockdown happened and now I'm missing out on this and have to look on as she sends me lustful texts about my willy

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dirty horse

Yes both were nothing burgers

You have different strengths of flu

"Bird flu" is just a flu bro and pretty bad

Just go to her house, you fecking nancy.

rotten fillie

Why won't our CVG friend tell me what he thinks I should do for prepping?

>mom

not even got that
>can't even catfish randoms during a pandemic
the state of me

Probably just the sheer volume of liquid fucking with your digestive system if it's beer you're drinking. Know them feels tho.

Ex alchy here. Drank everyday from about 14 (started at 11) until I was 36, been on and off a few years now. Was drinking twelve strong beers a day the last few years interspersed with big binges. Never had black shitty shit. you might want to give it a rest lad.

I have amonth#s worth of tinned stuff stored up, I'm buying fresh stuff every couple of days as long as it's available, and leaving the tins of spam etc until threre's no other option

it's too late if you didn't

they were only nothingburgers because they couldn't spread as effectively as SARS-CoV-2. SARS had a 10% CFR and MERS had 35%. we're dealing with a virus that kills at least as easily as MERS and is as contagious as measles. not to mention reinfection and the nasty sequelae that "survivors" have to suffer through.

I have loads of pasta and spam which I haven't eaten yet

I just want to see what he did

8/10 would applaud and spit at.

manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/nhs-worker-spat-face-assault-17993773

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What did you do to prep?

Nothing has changed since last week, really.

Quarantine will very likely be extended to mid April.
How very dull.

Also, she is beautiful, oww

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is that a dude or what?

Lord Sumption from today for those who didn't hear it:

youtube.com/watch?v=JHE3OerDKEY&feature=emb_title

i can tell its /cvg poster within 5 words of every post he makes

I've got 3 months worth of everything we need and restock every time we use something. Mrs wears an n95 mask now to shop. I'll break out my P3 respirator as we go into the peak times. I'm in rural Scotland so not too worried yet.

>send a message to rnhs heros
>average person treated like cunt by chav
they arent milking this at all

According to him it is pointless as we're all fucked anyway

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she won't let me because some girl she lives with is high-risk or summat, and don't you call me a fuckin' nancy again mate alright

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Been reading into the native Dorset dialect as of late, lads. Makes me sad to think how much charm its lost to the ages.

youtube.com/watch?v=2owHROX5Ebw

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I don't even give a fuck anymore, I lost my job and until i can get money coming in again one way or another I'm in the shit in a couple of months regardles of a few tins aof spam in my cupboard

eyebrows again. the fuck is up with these nutters?

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When will this queuing bullshit end, get out of work early and at 2 pm there is a queue, been having to use the little shops and buying double pack micro horseburgers.

Not rotating your food you're not going to make it lad

webmd.com/digestive-disorders/black-tarry-stool-reasons#1

PHWOOORR

Fuck it lad just go round and give her one.

drove past lidl at 7.40 on saturday morning and there was 100m long queues

excuses lad

wer yoo terking abewt larrd the naytif dawsait doialeirct is aloive n weyl.

i wear one of those masks and blue gloves. seen the same girl on the till in the local shop also wearing blue gloves. made her smile today so might ask for her number next time i'm in there overbuying drink.

If dis quarantine isn't lifted soon me an dhe lads are gunna smash up Greggs, simple as.

twitter.com/ClarkeMicah/status/1244662682789335040?s=20

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lol you are a fucking massive nancy pussy gay boy

drinking guiness?

Good to see the head of the WHO is working hard

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getting a bit silly now this 2 meter bullshit.

greggs has been shut for a week you potato craving possible italian

You wait your turn key worker slave. Boomers need to buy their groceries so you should show some manners and wait graciously to buy what scraps they haven't already panic bought.

he could smash up a closed one
wont be open for even longer then

the un was a mistake

Fake death rumours being spread.

youtube.com/watch?v=tu_1bTaEcSo

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haha, im not even a keyworker, bojo aint shut construction sites and warheouses so im in limbo, work is starting to dry up though so dont think i be in work much longer.

Outraged by eyebrows lol

we already know that the real body count is 3-4x higher than the official numbers at the very least.

Imagine lifting her skirt up and ploughing your beef bayonet into her haha and she yelps in pleasure ha can you imagine lol

cant understand him when he talks, wish they just put the irish guy on instead.

Pathetic pen pushing celebrity worshipping scum.

i hope everyone in /cvg/ has an underlying health condition

Shitty projectors, shitty eyebrows.
I might not clap this week desu.

Not drank any dark beers or taken anything that can change the colour of stool, such as iron. Diet hasn't changed either. I've been feeling a bit dizzy and nauseous sometimes, particularly after waking up, but I attributed that to a really bad hang over. I read that alcohol can cause internal bleeding if consumed regularly and in large amounts. But fucking hell, I'm drinking nowhere near as hard as some and I'm not touching hard liquor.

Same. Not been told we have keyworker status yet. Jobs slowing down a bit. Not sure what will happen in a week or two.

I don't think autism is going to be enough to wipe them out unfortunately.

Kek.

mate you're probably dehydrated to fuck. alcohol is a diuretic and if you consume it regularly you need to consume a shit ton of water to compensate which i would bet £100 you're not

So is it all going to be all right now?

Medical fetish? Kinky nurse uniforms.

this is 100% a globalist conspiracy. i got something through my door the other day about sending off for a free book about a globalist agenda

Caption this somebody! I'm stuck on a decent caption

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>You can now face jail for two years for threatening to coof
Holy shit this country is so fucking gay.

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Oy vey, be noice, goyim approval rate is at almost 70%!

reality has surpassed satire so why bother. the image speaks for itself.

no. we're only at the beginning of this thing.

Threadly reminder

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Haha i got that too. This thing?
You can get a free pdf of it.
It's a christian book blaming the jews for everything

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Imagine coofing in a coppers face as he orders you home for staying 100m too far from your home during your daily excersize allocation. Probably get done for attempted murder.

No. The coof is nothing to worry about unless you are old or fat, but we are entering a dystopian police state where you will be forced to carry a smartphone with a contact tracing app at all times. This won't be compulsory, but if you don't do it you will remain under the same restrictions as now. This will be sold to you as the only way to prevent the resurgence of the coof.

are you 80, already very ill or like to huff coofs?

It’s not a happening no matter how badly you want it to be. We’ve peaked or are very close to the peak.
Keep coping. I hope you have enough to pay off those credit cards you maxed out on pasta.

STOP RESISTING

But they said the rate of spread is showing signs of decreasing

Should I drink wine or beer tonight. Beer lasts longer.

Learn to code!
>twitter.com/Holbornlolz/status/1244303302973677570

>implying they don't already track you

First word I searched in it was jew and it had a fair few hits
Also my captcha was chimneys, google knows too.

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People taking selfies while on walks in the countryside.
Absolutely appalling.

I don't think so. I drink a lot of water, tea, and eat soup.

A TOILET PAPER JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSE!

damnit Frank eat shit

learn to greentext

that's the one, came through royal mail as well

We all have our breaking point mate.

i don't think you get it lad. how much water tea and soup do you consume relative to alcohol?

You have been out of your house 3 times today, you are in breach of government guidelines. Your £30 fine will automatically be added to your bill.

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They can track your location, but this app (already being used in China) will also record your contacts. You will have to carry it, and you will have to keep it charged up. An user in Singapore who is quarantined let his phone run out of battery. The police were at his door in 15 minutes.

It's weird, back before this all went tits up, I was winding up normies at work who were saying "its nothing to worry about," telling them all the shit from /cvg/, I could see it affecting them more and more as i contiuned, the panic rising, and the attempts to deny it becoming more intense. Now its all flipped and the normies have gone crazy and I'm thinking it's all a fuss over nothing much...I'm sorry, i think it was all my fault.