/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2722

Looks like an edit but still funny

The unedited ones are even funnier

I wonder why OP won't put this pee pee poo poo and shit poopy fart in the general...oh nevermind, I know why, it's cause you ballsack poopy dicks to shit.

>inb4 NOOOOO BUT THAT POOP HOLE WON'T WORK CAUSE *DICK FUCK SHIT*!! ITS DIARRHEA FOR REAL THIS TIME!!!!

>ITS POOPING ITS POOPING ITS POOPING ITS POOPING ITS POOPING I SAID ITS FUCKING POOPING THIS IS ALL I CUM IN MY BUTT CRAP HINEY, DONT POO THIS AWAY FROM PEE!!!!!

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based yukkuris

if you grab them, you can keep aware of who you contact
if you order them, you'll have no fucking clue who the delivery guy or the food went near

Gentlemen, I propose a toast to Corona-chan!

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Why the fuck are the numbers slow today?

fake news

oh shut up you fucking mongoloid. It can "cure" you for a time, but after a while it comes back even worse than before

they are updating them after every thread i think

this will be the force to defeat Corona-chan
i need to get some sleep

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Because this nothingburger is already peaking everywhere. It won't even infect ten million people at this point.

Reposting because missed thread switch.

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May as well grab some stuff while the stores are still open

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I want to FUCK Corona-chan

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you still have to worry about stockers, you have no idea whether the person who put out the product is coofing or not

cheers

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Hear hear

we're saved!

Its peaking because of the entire shutdown of Earth's fucking economy. How long can we keep this going for?

isn't it the same thing though? who knows how many people touched the product before it hit the shelves.
More chances of getting coof'd on at the store. With the delivery, I throw away packaging an heat up the food for 1.5 minutes.

>cures corona
China was using it from the beginning. So was Italy. Why didn't it cure them?

Depends on if your county has an infected imo. We've not been hit yet so just did a casual grocery run to see what was still around as I prepped back in February and got some mother fucking reese's puffs, the last box in the store, and some spicy fried rice seasoning as I have 5 fucking pounds i'm gonna eat through

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I went out wearing a respirator and gloves to buy booze. The cashier snickered at me. I told her my aunt just died. She called for the manager and fled for the back of the store.

These normies know what is up but refuse to face real life until it hits them in the face.

Guys, stop scrolling for a second and read this please.
Have you ever seen one single amerimutt who died of Corona-chan? No. Never. No such thing. Corona-chan ravages Italy, people are dropping dead in Russia, China is a ghost country... But zero proven deaths in USA? There's a reason for that
They surely faked statistics to make it look like they have some infected and dead so it would not be so suspicious. It's a global biowar, lads. Led and engineered by mutts and their masters in Tel-Aviv.

Friendly reminder that if you actually believe that this virus is of chinese origin, bioweapon or not, you are braindead.
America created Corona-chan to punish China, Italy, Iran and Russia for "Silk Way" project.
I can bet my anal virginity that mutts already have the cure. They will release it as soon as economy of said countries is destroyed.

Friendly reminder that 13 millions of innocent chinese people and 1 million of russian pigdogs already died from american bioweapon unleashed on enemies of Israel.

Friendly reminder to shoot your local amerimutts on sight for their crime against humanity. After this event is over, being american will become much worse than being german after WW2. Trump will be remembered for centuries as the worst mass murderer in human history.

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I keep seeing faggots on FB talk about "immunity" after "recovery' and I just roll my eyes. Are the talking heads on TV telling normies they'll have immunity? Where is this shit coming from? I thought it was common knowledge about ADE. no real recovery etc. Or have I just been hanging around /cvg/ too long?

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Give it around ~2 weeks.

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That is actually a great response to that

Monday numbers will make that log look linear

Rate my latest PreP boysssss

Also update from Poland

40k+ dead today

And the vast majority of the 700k+ detected infected are still infected and can go critical at any time. Lots of people home quarantined are dead and the police are afraid to go check on them.

Some people are totally not taking it seriously. People are just walking around even though our government has

>Closed the borders indefinitely, any Polish citizens must undergo mandatory 14-day quarantine if they are caught breaking it they face jail or a huge fine (30,000 zloty / $8K)
>Banned exports of medication and PPE
>Mandatorily quarantined 300,000 citizens, which they have to install a selfie app that sends a selfie to the police randomly throughout the day. If you do not send a selfie, the police are dispatched within 20 mins. If you are caught outside of quarantine you face criminal charges.
>Can only walk in groups of 2 in public (and they have to be family member), if you are walking with a non-family member it's a 500zl fine ($125)
>Can only leave to get food/medication/take dog for walk (if caught by police 500zl fine, there's already videos on TikTok of people walking fake dog props just to go outside and fool police)
>Cancelled school
>Made Universities online or cancelled
>Closed all malls, gyms, bars, clubs
>Only businesses allowed open are pharmacies, small liquor shops, bakeries and grocery stores
>All doctors are just writing prescriptions over the phone and you go pick it up at the pharmacy
>The open stores must be sanitized twice a day and stores can only have X customers inside depending on the size (ie. small shops 1 poerson, larger grocery stores based on square meters)
>They've installed plastic shields between cashiers, and most employees are wearing masks and gloves
>People have to keep away from other people 2M at all times, including in stores
>Public transit can only be half full and you have to 1 seat away from people

We /Wuhan/ now boyssss

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Fuck, you've convinced me. Not sure of what, but you've convinced me.

Hapas are inferior to whites

This is fake, right?

He's right, those conferences are even a global hit.

Whelp, it's over. Nothingburger confirmed.

Go as early in the morning as you possibly can. Unless you live in a straight up concrete hellhole you should be okay.

Pretending to be retarded still makes you retarded nigger.

People like you are the reason its a pandemic, its not just gonna go away.

ewww

Why did he suck off a nigger?
>amidoinitrite?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ITS POOPING THEY'RE P-PEEING!!! MY POOP’S PEEFRIEND WORKS AT THE FART FACTORY THEY SAID 100 BILLION ARE POOPING ALREADY!!! ITS CRAP OVER!!! THE BUTTHOLE WILL LIVE FOR A MILLION POOPS!!!AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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New 100 cases in kike land.
Kikes will get rekt this time.

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50-50 deaths to recoveries is making me worried for Italy.

I keep forgetting to filter you. Not because of your boring text but because Asuka is vomit inducing

Are there updated versions of this for 600k and 700k?

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Though she fill our lungs, may our glasses be ever fuller

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You should have immunity for about 6 months to a year based on SARS.

Though, ADE could happen, if you get it again when antibody levels are low at 6 months to a year. We don't know about this, yet.

What we do know is that immunity to coronaviruses is short lived. 1 year is what we can hope for here.

>Yas Forums: I don't trust the jews!
>Also, Yas Forums: This Hasidic Jew is BASED!

Weird, but okay.

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250987348
>the virus died because the entire mcfucking planet shut down
>it didn't kill millions so its nothing
If this shitpost is how hard you try at life, no wonder your family considers you a failure

he’s not doing another one until 1M

People want hope. There hasn't been anything like this in living memory for 95% of westerners.

Are you legit the user a few threads back that had his aunt die in ER? Condolences if true

he might be waiting for 1 mill

Next one at 1 million, so tomorrow

i shop there all the time, and the manager knows me. i told her my aunt lives . . . lived . . . 2 states away; i'm not sick, and i'm trying to keep it that way. she was cool about it. i scared the shit out of the 19 year old cashier, though.

Can’t wait for this to end so people forget about it in a week and then next year a super duper virus can kill everyone

Asuka is literal garbage and you should KYS.

Rei is where it's at.

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>m-muh nothingburger
Isn't this what you fuckers say everytime the numbers don't match your predictions?
How can you not see how bad the situation is?
It's not a perfect happening, might even be the most boring happening ever, but it's a happening.

>keep people inside to stop the virus but the economy crashes with no survivors
>send people back to work to keep the economy up and have the virus spread again at alarming rates
You are now the leader of your favorite country. Which one of the options above do you pick?

>tomorrow
hahahaha come on man it won't even reach 800k by tomorrow.

the Hasidic Jew is based because it spreads the Chinese Virus to the rest of the sandniggers

Nurgle-chan, please post a full frontal pic with an angle like pic related. We don't have one with both tits and vagoo in the same picture.

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She was laughing at the fact that you're a permavirgin

>0.01% of the world is infected
>0.0005% of the world has died
>NOT a nothing burger

This is your brain without your schizo meds.
34,000 people aren't even enough to fill the smallest NFL stadium.
Call your psychiatrists, ask them to help you.

YESTERDAY IT WAS SO FAST

When it will hit 1 million officially infected ill switch to Flandre.

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why did you do it faggot?

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>wuhan reopens
tomtom.com/en_gb/traffic-index/wuhan-traffic

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I keep telling my normie friends that there is no immunity any time they bring it up and they’re like “omg that’d be awful!”

RIP

yeah, that's me. i needed some booze tonight and had to go out.

Log graph is easier to read exponential growth on.
Linear on log = exponential.
It's much easier to see a trend.

>"Recovered" men tested had half the normal levels of testosterone
Should it be
>Recovered "men" tested had half the normal levels of testosterone

Is it possible that this:

>"Recovered" men tested had half the normal levels of testosterone
>archive.is/3G21P

is a soft depopulation strategy? Rather than killing people outright, just reduce the percentage of them that can reproduce?

These news conferences are the only place to get the real news. For three years we've listened to fake news from the MSM. I cannot in good conscience listen to the news now and take them seriously. That Maddow publicly stated she wants the networks to stop carrying the Trump news conferences means that Trump is doing the right thing. I'm glad Trump is there and not Hillary.

Hapas are inferior to whites

>all that shin black just lying there
GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME

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>We're all going to die anyway, so go out there and die for the economy, dammit!

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These digits say different. 900k by 7pmEST

I posted a full frontal tho?
even with a timestamp
y'all bitched about my room being uncleaned in it

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>selfie app
>mfw it would randomly catch me jerking every fucking time it needed to take a picture

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i'm in my 30s and a divorced alcoholic. you got the wrong stereotype.

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The ventilator shortage is moot. There is a lack of trained technicians. Even if they had a million ready to go, it takes 2 years to be certified to run them.

Yes.

more like in 4 or 5 days.

I saw lots of people wearing gloves today, and a few wore face masks, at least half the people were wearing gloves and taking the 2M distancing seriously

Some older people are still either nothingburgers or in shock/confused. I had to remind a few old ladies to please keep their distance from me, much more for their safety

I was looking at buying some PPE/sanitizer and all the sellers on Allegro (polish amazon/ebay combo) are price gouging like fucking crazy. Prices have gone up 500% in 2 weeks, and at least 2 of my orders haven't shipped despite the seller taking payment then trying to not ship it and up the price.

Price gougers should be fucking put against the wall and shot. I hope allegros BTFOs price gougers soon like ebay/amazon did by banning the resale.

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There are no niggers in my country. Just gypsies. FAKE NEWS

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ben garrison is a retard, news at eleven

Did you have your tripcode on when you did? When was it? I've looked in the archives and can't find it.

kek looks like a Hong Kong supermarket. They don't like Korean noodles there?

we need a drinking song. should we make one from scratch or should we repurpose an old song?

Not even a fun shill.

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Just to be clear.
Recovered males lost fucking HALF of their testosterone level?
I don't want to turn into a puccy boi if I get coronachan.

Hope you're all staying safe during quarantine, hopefully this shit sorts out soon

Music leaf out for the night peace

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>Italy reports no new cases because they have nearly stopped testing
Ok, and?

>US recoveries
>3/28 3222
>3/29 3157
Oh fuck.

The meltdown that will be caused by this will be incredible

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That's interesting. I missed that theory based on SARS, I'll do some more reading. Thanks user

19 days isn't that long user

Went out with respirator and gloves for the first time myself not long ago. Nobody was laughing, worst I got was a brief glimpse of embarrassment turning to fear as the realization hits that the guy with the mask is probably not the irrational one.

Sir, I suggest you grow bangs.

sauce? bp?

If they want hope it's better to be real about things. There's still hope a few months down the road things will get better. Pretending this is Chicken Pox will just get people hurt or God forbid killed

schizos belong on /x/

Good luck hydroxychloroquine-chan. death to all doomers

Tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest I say. Let's see.

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In Poland same thing 2 weeks ago, cashiers would call over other cashiers and laugh at me wearing a hazmat suit, gas mask, gloves, shoe covers. Like literally point and laugh. Kids did double takes

Today nothing. The security guy who was super relaxed usually was super fucking anxious/nervous and barking at people who didn't wait until a person left the store before coming in etc.

Not gonna lie, former coronavirus happeningfag here. This is fucking hilarious watching corona crash and burn. But in all seriousness we can't let this pandemic shut the economy down

Or so you’ve been told, and choose to believe.

Vote!

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I've gotten that response too. You can see it in their eyes as they realize they are the one in the wrong.

shit even the fucking yukkuris are more prepped and taking it easy than me

don't post that. i'm from louisiana.

>less deaths from yesterday compared to the day before
Happening is canceled faggots, back to work

Sorry to hear. It's never easy, especially if you were close to her. I'll keep you in my prayers

I parodied one a month ago for Gary, I'll have to find it

Yes we can.

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To be fair a least he leads by example.

Looks like my local safeway/giants/costco. I had to get whole wheat spaghetti, since I've been burning through pasta. Guess, I'll have to stop being lazy and just make it.

There's been quite a few people in my state who have tested positive but refused to self quarantine at home, they've now got police posted outside their home for the entirety of their quarantine, they get to wear a neat ankle bracelet too. Local news has said if they go outside their premises or fail to call in every day they go to jail. Even the infected tards pretend it's no worse than the flu. This country is fucked

Who is this guy? I see him a lot.

Impressive he's not been assassinated

I think so, I'll try to find it

Ultimately, we're going to need to get back outside and get to work. No one has the right to tell us we have to sit home and starve for the good of the nation. Certainly no one told that to the companies sending us billing and auto debiting our accounts. It's going to take a rebellion to get back our rights. Old people should stay inside.

please do.
I wanna make a /cvg/ sings of something.
if people make a vocaroo we can have a bit of fun with it.

Same. Wore a half mask to the grocery store on Saturday and got similar reactions

2 weeks ago people pointed, took pictures of me in full hazmat to send to normies etc. Not a single unusual glance today. Last week while picking up my second gas mask and doing a liquor run in hazmat the store clerk actually asked me where he could buy a gas mask like mine

> less testosterone in recovred men
Is this a feminist wet dream ?

I went out to the shops with a windbreaker, p100 mask, goggles and gloves.

Most people didn't pay me any mind, got a couple nods from people also wearing masks, and one hippy-looking chick in a Safeway did a double-take at me and said "Shit, you got the full legit stuff going on."

It's not a joke to people anymore.

You can be a conservative and not a conspiracytard, Garrison...

Watch at least the last ten minutes of this Dr. It's just going to keep getting worse.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=4J0d59dd-qM#

why use Chinese-approved nomenclature? COVID-19 is the name given by WHO shills, better use from below:
Chinfluenza
Wumonia
Xi Jinplague
China's One Lung Policy
Shanghai Shivers
ChinAIDS
Winnie the Flu

comfy bro?

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not surprising given we know that estrogen helps with the immune system.

at some point nobody gives a shit if you are certified. In Italy they are using 3d printed pieces and other ghetto shit to attempt to keep people alive, none of which is certified in any way.

ONE FOR THE CHINK WHO DROPPED A VIAL WITH A CLINK
AND ANOTHER FOR HIS GODLESS LAND
LETS SIP ONE MORE FOR THE SONS OF THE WHORES
WHO REFUSE TO WASH THEIR HANDS
I DONT KNOW WHY, IN MY YELLOW SUIT AND TIE
I’M FEELING RATHER FIIINEEE
AND IF MY BRETHREN MATCH THEN ITS DOWN THE HATCH
TO THE HAPPENING OF OUR TIIIMEEEE

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Imagine not eating the nutrients back when you're done.

Not gonna make it user.

Coronachan so cute~

I actually got a 'thank you' from a cashier for wearing a mask. Most fellow customers either are reminded of the situation or think I'm infected since they suddently try keep their distance or pull up their scarfs when they see it.

Don't you usually have a reduction anyway while your body recovers from a disease like that?

might be a bit extreme my dude. i am literally only wearing a p95 mask and nitrile gloves. hazmat . . . . no. i think you might be making that up too.

>Ukrainian """people"""" (that had to be evacuated) storm the airport, running away without being tested or even leaving their info

God i hate the bydlo i live with

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Gina Gerson.

She's a Russian fitness model, poet, philosopher, teacher, and otter enthusiast.

Though deaths from the Coronavirus
For four or five days have stayed still,
The two weeks shall pass, and soon with it
Shall follow old Gary the Shill.

Shall follow old Gary the Shill,
Shall follow old Gary the Shill:
The two weeks shall pass, and soon with it
Shall follow old Gary the Shill.

When I'm shaking and strapped to the stretcher
An order I'll place to fulfill,
"Waiter, send o'er a hot nothingburger
Served with water for Gary the Shill!"

"Served with water for Gary the Shill!"
"Served with water for Gary the Shill!"
"Waiter, send o'er a hot nothingburger,
Served with water for Gary the Shill!"

Then bring in the doomers and preppers
In hazmat suits, argue they will
With news and the scope of the happening,
What happened to Gary the Shill?

What happened to Gary the Shill?
What happened to Gary the Shill?
With the news and the scope of the happening,
What happened to Gary the Shill?

Then gather the Chinks and the glowies
And grab the most brazen and shrill:
Make them dig a mass grave in their memory,
And on them lay Gary the Shill.

And on them lay Gary the Shill,
And on them lay Gary the Shill:
Make them dig a mass grave in their memory,
And on them lay Gary the Shill.

Then pour you some layers of concrete
On the liner and lye o'er the fill.
Place a marker above, engraved on it
The spreadsheet of Gary the Shill.

The spreadsheet of Gary the Shill,
The spreadsheet of Gary the Shill:
Place a marker above, engraved on it
The spreadsheet of Gary the Shill.

I feel the young lady approaching,
Our lungs, like our hearts, for to fill.
As we lift up a glass in her honour,
Give your (You)s to old Gary the Shill.

Give your (You)s to old Gary the Shill,
Give your (You)s to old Gary the Shill:
As we lift up a glass in her honour,
Give your (You)s to old Gary the Shill.

Set to "Old Rosin the Beau"
youtube.com/watch?v=lTnv9x1klts

Unfortunately, I can't find an instrumental of it

Dude gross. Her tit reminds me of the mud flaps on diesel trucks

but whats the tune though?

F

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Who /fearless/ here? More and more people here are wearing masks but I never will, I go outside to jog every day, do a grocery run in packed stores every other day, use public utilities like laundromat and bus, and today when I saw an old man coughing his lungs out in the street I let him borrow my handkerchief. Pic related is my physique btw

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How many countries has China scammed so far with "medical supplies"? I remember there's Czech and Spain with those kits. But there was recently 1 country that sent masks back.

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V. Nice, ty. Now all we need is sharpie in vagoo.

it was my last aunt. both my parents were orphans, and i never had any grandparents. i had three aunts. one suicide. one cancer. now one corona.

>Friendly reminder that 13 millions of innocent chinese people and 1 million of russian pigdogs already died

Citation needed

I too am afraid of rumors and disinformation

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Dead man walking

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There's a Youtube link at the bottom, "Old Rosin the Beau"

I'm from southern Brazil, in one of the larger cities in the area, Curitiba.

We just had a blackout of approximately an hour go down.

Not a common occurance here, it's the first in maybe 30 years.

No explanation from the government yet.

I'm legitimately scared now.

>memeflag opinion

>risk a grocery run
>live off food deliveries
> Food deliveries less risk

user,I...

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never mind from you.
I'll take a look at this to make sure everything lines up well.
if it does we should give it a shot.

what the fuck?

And you're basically dead when you get tubed, as hardly anyone survives it. 30 out of 31 in The Lancet study, and Italy is also seeing hardly anyone survive being tubed.

Better to just OD them on Opiates/Barbiturates when they get to that stage, and find a treatment to help stop people going critical.

just saw that

>qtard

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