Attorney Here!

Attorney Here!

So, I see my previous thread(s) went viral across Facebook and other social media platforms! That's awesome! I've cleaned up my advice and now I'm reposting it!

Alright, this one is for residential tenants across the United States. However, before we begin, please read the following six disclaimers:

FIRST: Please check this advice against your individual state laws. Laws vary by state, but they're nonetheless very similar to each other in most situations. It's still worth checking particulars.

SECOND: This advice should be considered only if (1) you can't pay your rent, (2) your landlord is being unreasonable, (3) your landlord won't work with you, (4) your landlord is trying to evict you during the COVID-19 Pandemic, AND (5) your jurisdiction's civil courts are closed. If ALL FIVE of those elements aren't present, then don't follow this extreme advice.

THIRD: This advice is not necessarily designed to keep you in your rental property forever, especially post-pandemic. Instead, it is designed ONLY to keep you in your home during the pandemic, once the civil courts reopen, the eviction procedures will go as normal (although you should still fight if your state suspended rent payments during this time). In other words, this is ONLY a temporary way/guide to keep your home and make the landlords who are trying to kick you out pay!

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FOURTH: Throughout this advice, you'll see I advise people to video record their encounters with landlords. States very wildly in regard to whether or not you can video tape someone without their knowledge. That said, check your state's video recording law. If you can't record without the other party's knowledge, then make sure your video camera is very visible when you record them. Knowledge of the video AND remaining in front of the lens is considered consent to be videoed, they can't simply say "I DON'T CONSENT TO BE VIDEOED!" and still remain without legally consenting to the same.

FIVE: I am not a communist or a socialist. In fact, I find both socioeconomic ideologies to be abhorrent. That said, I am a proud American, and I believe it's important for people (especially those who are more privileged than others) to come together during hard times to help one another rather than exploiting the less fortunate to make a dollar. COVID-19 is exactly one of those "hard times." We should all strive to be the people Mr. Rogers knew we could be.

SIX: Yes, I am an attorney, but none of this should be considered legal advice. Remember the Yas Forums disclaimer: Things posted here are works of fiction and falsehood and should not be considered as fact. The same applies here. Take my advice or leave it, it's no skin off my back. I don't practice civil law anymore anyway, so I have no financial stake in this.

With that said, let's begin...

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Are you out of a job due to COVID-19? If so, the first thing you need to do is figure out if your local courts have shut down their civil dockets (in all likelihood they probably have).

If your civil courts aren't shut down, then you're shit out of luck.

If your civil courts are shut down, then proceed.

Simply put, your landlord can't evict you without an eviction order, and eviction orders are granted only through civil courts. Without a civil court to hear your landlord's motion to evict, they can't legally evict you.

Now, I know there's going to be some landlords that come in here saying: "WE CAN STILL FORCIBLY EVICT YOU WITH A PRIVATE COMPANY!" If your landlord tries that, be sure to verbally resist them, video tape it, and then sue their asses off for wrongfully evicting you during the COVID-19 crisis without an eviction order. There will be loads of attorneys ready to leap on the opportunity of suing the fuckface landlords that force out their tenants during a crisis, and no jury will feel sympathy for them. Further, if anyone shows up to evict you that is not law enforcement, CALL THE POLICE and have them removed and trespassed from your property. Only law enforcement officers (usually the local Sheriff's Department) can do legal evictions in most states, and even they require an Eviction Order.

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There will also be landlords that will try the whole "WE CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE WHILE YOU'RE REFUSING TO LEAVE!" and they'll say things like: "WE'LL CUT OFF YOUR POWER AND YOUR WATER AND LOCK YOUR DOORS!"

Well, folks, the truth of the matter is that the leaseholder holds a property interest in the property that they're leasing during the time of said lease. In other words, as a person with a property interest in the leased property, other people can't intentionally and harmfully interfere with your use and enjoyment of said property, including the landlord, without a court order or your consent.

Ultimately, what I'm getting at here is that if your landlord starts fucking with your utilities (water, electric, etc.) or things like your doors, windows, walkways, etc... then you can call the police on them.

"The police? Huh? I thought the courts were closed?"

The CIVIL courts are closed, but the criminal ones can't/won't shut down due to there being very strict deadlines that need to be met for incarcerated individuals. In other words, the police will still absolutely make arrests for crimes (such as desturction of property, interference with property, criminal trespass, burglary, etc.), and if your landlord does any of the above, then they definitely committed a crime. Remember, as a leaseholder, you have a property interest in the property you're occupying, and the landlord can't harm and/or remove it without your consent or a valid legal reason.

A key part of this is to work together in your tenant community and make sure that if your landlord is on the premises (either inside or outside), someone always has a camera that's recording on him. Make sure there's evidence, and make sure you call the police and say you'd like to press charges.

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When/if the police arrive, the next key is to be very calm and levelheaded. Explain to the police that your landlord is trying to evict you without a valid Eviction Order issued by a Court. EVERYTHING goes back to that Eviction Order, without one, they won't have you leave.

Your landlord might try to claim things like "right to entry" and say that they gave you notice in advance of their entry onto the premises. If you're at this point with your landlord, then there is valid and abundant reason to question whether or not their Notice of Entry is valid and/or not forged, regardless of how they served it upon you (certified mail, hand delivery, etc. -- doesn't matter). Tell the police that you don't want the landlord in your home and you doubt the veracity of their claims as to their Notice of Entry. Further, tell them you, as the valid/legal leaseholder, want that person (i.e. the landlord) removed from the property immediately and trespassed from the location. If your landlord says anything to the contrary, the police will say the notice of right to entry under the lease is a civil matter, and refer him to civil court once the courts reopen to resolve that civil disupute.

Once the landlord is trespassed, if he comes back, call the police again and then they'll arrest him and take him to jail. Due to the COVID-19 backlogs that most criminal courts are facing, it'll take at least a day or two for him to get a First Appearance and bond out -- and, even then, the criminal court will absolutely make it a condition of his bond that he have no contact with you and to stay off your leased property.

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Now I know some of you are thinking: "All that's very nice, but if I'm living paycheck to paycheck, how am I going to afford an attorney to protect me once this is over?"

The answer is simple: Contingency basis payment. Basically, the lawyer takes your case, and the lawyer only gets paid if you win your case. In situations of wrongful evictions, the Courts frequently allow for several damages to be recovered, such as the cost of new residence, moving costs, hazard fees, and sometimes even punitive damages if the landlord acted unreasonably enough. This housing/rent crisis will undoubtedly bring about several civil lawyers post-pandemic that will be willing to work for contingency fees -- just be sure to be on the outlook for them!

"Okay, but what about my credit score? Won't failing to pay cause a huge hurt on my credit?"

Yes, but if rent was suspended by the government during that time, it's an invalid report against your credit. By federal law, each citizen is entitled to a free annual credit report and you should get said free report 4-6 months after the pandemic is over to see if your landlord sent in a credit claim against you. If they did, hire a credit/debt lawyer and sue your landlord for a false claim. Usually said lawyers work on a contingency basis and will take 100% of the financial rewards, but at least it will get it removed from your credit report.

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WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY!! GET OUT THERE AND SUCK SOME DICK!! I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY!!

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"And what about renting in the future? Don't landlords have databases for tenants who do stuff like this,and don't they check them before agreeing to lease to a potential tenant?"

Yes, landlords definitely have such databases. The good news is that if you find repeated difficulty finding a new place to lease, then you can file a lawsuit for violation of the Fair Housing Act and easily obtain copies of said database entries through the discovery process. Through that, you and your attorney will obtain additional information that can lead to slander/libel lawsuits against the original landlord that entered the false information in their databases against you, and likely have it removed by court order and/or injunctions (temporary or permanent).

A question from the previous thread:

>this is great and all that but why not just push a shotgun in the landlord's face and tell him to leave

Good question, user! Simply put, being the first one to pull the gun out, not even pulling the trigger, in a situation like this is going to open a whole legal can of worms that is so much more complicated than taking the course of action that I've suggested.

When you pull out a gun, you've created a situation where law enforcement, and probably prosecutors, will need to look into whether or not you had cause to do so, self-defense, castle doctrine vs. landlord rights, etc... and it's just not worth the hassle, especially considering that, at that point, you've crossed from civil into criminal territory and that could have you landing in the local jail -- where you can't defend your home... and that's exactly what you don't want.

At the end of the day, you want to be the victim. Juries and judges love victims, especially in times of emergencies. The second you look like the aggressor, you've lost the entire case, even if you're entirely in the right. Rather than a gun, put a camera in your hand; you won't regret it.

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