/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2646

Wait, Pol told me. The Elite had a plot to control the world. Now they are all dying in quarantine from a virus. How do you spin your conspiracy theory now? Let me guess this was all planned?

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the good old days when this number was cause for alarm

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Just get your tendies delivered

But the ride is just getting started.

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At 600k she still has to have no tits

Who /comfy/ here?

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Gary coming in clutch

And your country killed the only guy that was trying to stop them.

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Oh no!
Gary broke!

>Referring to this board as Pol
Where did you come from?

>The Elite had a plot to control the world.
By definition the Elite already controls the world.

> How do you spin your conspiracy theory now?
Which conspiracy?

>Let me guess this was all planned?
No?

Can I get some Essential jobs memes?

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Feeling alright, Gary?
>► Died: 27,441 (+100)
death count went up

user, how you know it's true that they are all dying by chinese aids?

based

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So sweet

>COUNTRIES LIST
United States 104,256 (1,704) Italy 86,498 (9,134) China 81,394 (3,295) Spain 65,719 (5,138) Germany 53,340 (395) France 32,964 (1,995) Iran 32,332 (2,378) United Kingdom 14,543 (759) Switzerland 13,138 (237) South Korea 9,478 (144) Netherlands 8,603 (546) Austria 7,712 (58) Belgium 7,284 (289) Turkey 5,698 (92) Canada 4,757 (55) Portugal 4,268 (76) Norway 3,780 (19) Australia 3,635 (14) Brazil 3,477 (93) Israel 3,460 (12) Sweden 3,069 (105) Czech Republic 2,279 (9) Malaysia 2,161 (26) Ireland 2,121 (22) Denmark 2,046 (52) Ecuador 1,627 (41) Chile 1,610 (5) Luxembourg 1,605 (15) Japan 1,499 (49) Poland 1,436 (16) Pakistan 1,408 (11) Romania 1,292 (26) Russia 1,264 (4) Thailand 1,245 (6) South Africa 1,170 (1) Finland 1,165 (7) Indonesia 1,155 (102) Saudi Arabia 1,104 (3) Greece 966 (28) India 918 (20) Iceland 890 (2) Philippines 803 (54) Panama 786 (14) Singapore 732 (2) Mexico 717 (12) Diamond Princess 712 (10) Argentina 690 (17) Peru 635 (11)…

>LATEST CHANGES
United States +130 (+8) China +54 (+3) Germany +2,469 (+44) Switzerland +210 (+6) South Korea +146 (+5) Australia +257 (+1) Brazil +60 (+1) Thailand +109 (+1) Indonesia +109 (+15) Mexico +132 (+4) Argentina +101 (+4) Croatia +49 (+1) Hungary +43 (+1) Bulgaria +20 (+1) Ukraine +1 (+3) Brunei (+1) Uzbekistan +16 (+1) Austria +15 Norway +9 Israel +425 Poland +47 Pakistan +35 Russia +228 Finland +124 India +31 Bahrain +7 New Zealand +83 Lithuania +24 Armenia +43 Morocco +13 Latvia +25 Taiwan +16 Uruguay +36 Kazakhstan +54 Vietnam +6 Oman +21 Honduras +27 Georgia +2 Nigeria +11 Bolivia +13 Paraguay +4 Guatemala +4 Jamaica +4 El Salvador +6 Mongolia +1 Sudan +2 Mauritania +2…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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worse
corona is real, AND they are trying to control you more

>COOF DETECTED

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still lying in bed and comfy as can be

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Gary, are you ok? I'm asking out of genuine concern.

> Yesterday, 16:00
> Sneezing, runny nose
> Today, 08:00
> Sneezing, runny nose
> scratch at the back of my throat
> Today, 10:30
> light coughing
I am so hoping this turns out to be the common cold. Anything approximating the flu would be too much.

CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS
>CORONA CAN SPREAD TO ANIMALS

nypost.com/2020/03/27/first-known-cat-infected-with-coronavirus-reported-in-belgium/

marketwatch.com/story/second-dog-tests-positive-for-coronavirus-as-owners-warned-not-to-abandon-pets-2020-03-20

sciencealert.com/coronavirus-discovery-in-pangolins-shows-why-wildlife-markets-need-better-regulations

nydailynews.com/coronavirus/ny-coronavirus-thousands-of-pets-abandoned-killed-in-china-crisis-20200316-3avi3u6osvdltnfttiqbfdttsi-story.html

Gary, I...

Je t'aime, Coronachan.

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fuck this ride, yes I am prepared but I want off.

Checking in

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What is a good Corona-chan theme song?

youtube.com/watch?v=Gd5X1Fk0Rh4
youtube.com/watch?v=u7AcIZ36hoY
youtube.com
youtube.com/watch?v=YFSUZQl3OeU/watch?v=MMeEByBNfZk
youtube.com/watch?v=Qg8Jn2iCaUw

I knew it was bad when mongs from /britreddit/ started invading this general calling it a nothingburger

>Anything approximating the flu would be too much.
true seeing how Merkel gave away your ventilators to italics

I didn't even have a fever bruh

Please visit your nearest Konzentrationslager and wait for the further instructions from your local Einsatzkommando. thank you for understanding.

It's HAPPENIIIIIIIING YEEEES MY HAPPENIIIING IS HEEEERE AAAAAHHH...

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I love you Corona chan

>FUTURE MARKETS
United States (-4.22%) Germany (-5.29%) France (-4.84%) United Kingdom (-5.76%) Italy (-4.53%) Switzerland (-3.51%) Spain (-3.92%) Austria (-1.99%) Poland (-0.94%) Netherlands (-4.35%) Hungary (-1.99%) Russia (-5.73%) Greece (+0.00%) Brazil (-5.68%) Japan (+0.93%) Hong Kong (-0.48%) China (-0.29%) Australia (-8.82%) Singapore (-0.43%) India (-1.87%) South Korea (+1.78%) Taiwan (-3.70%) South Africa (-4.87%)

>LIVE TRAFFIC
Sydney (0%) Tokyo (-27%) Beijing (0%) Wuhan (0%) New Delhi (0%) Dubai (-5%) Moscow (-3%) Rome (-13%) Milan (-11%) Berlin (-11%) Munich (-9%) Brussels (-11%) Paris (-15%) Madrid (-10%) Barcelona (-15%) London (-21%) Johannesburg (-4%) Sao Paulo (-78%) Buenos Aires (-36%) New York (-67%) Washington (-46%) Miami (-49%) Toronto (-52%) Chicago (-25%) Houston (-43%) Mexico City (-71%) Los Angeles (-47%) Seattle (-33%)

>LOCKDOWNS AGGREGATE
India (1.3b) China (760m) Pakistan (211m) United States (196m) Mexico (129m) Egypt (97m) Germany (82m) Philippines (70m) Brazil (66m) France (66m) United Kingdom (66m) Italy (60m) South Africa (56m) Colombia (49m) Spain (46m) Argentina (44m) Ukraine (42m) Poland (37m) Morocco (35m) Peru (32m) Venezuela (32m) Malaysia (31m) Nepal (29m) Australia (24m) Romania (19m) Netherlands (17m) Ecuador (16m) Belgium (11m) Tunisia (11m) Czech Republic (10m) Dominican Republic (10m) Greece (10m) Portugal (10m)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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Whoops meant to add
youtube.com/watch?v=MMeEByBNfZk

vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/coronavirus-disease-in-dogs
derp

Gary are you ok?
Are you ok?
Are you ok, Gary?

I love you Corona-chan!

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Thank you, kind sir.

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Aghhhh it's not gonna happoon please trust me this is just a flu aghhh I'm gonna coof

No Gary how many days?

I love you Corona-Chan

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They are literally bringing Italians coofing to death here. And not just anywhere, but into the Hospital 2 kilometers away from my home and I know multiple people who work there, or at least frequent it...

YOU GOT THAT

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Apocalypse Theme is nice
Nice triple 1s

>Next month, Earth will be paid a visit from an old cosmic friend: a two-mile-wide asteroid called (52768) 1998 OR2 that will come within about 4 million miles of our planet. This behemoth will be the largest asteroid to swoop in close to Earth’s orbit in 2020, zooming by at almost 20,000 miles per hour, according to Prabhjote Gill at Business Insider.

Source: physics-astronomy.org/2020/03/a-41-km-asteroid-will-close-in-on-earth.html

Is there anything missing at this point? I don't know... disease, economic collapse, now an 4.1 km asteroid... what else?

cute
also checked

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but i do own a fleshlight

Who else has noticed an increase in coofers among the general public?

>my roommate coofed as I typed this

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I can't believe the US managed to come from behind and reach first place in the corona cup.

the ride never ends

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Noooo it's Very VERY serious THIS time!!!! Go panick buy right now goyi- eee user!!
IT'S HAPPENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

600k art when!?

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I am also very comfy i have all i need for several months stocked up. The only thing i have to complain about is that i still need to go to wörk.

Guiseppe needs it more than you, sorry Ahmed

>tfw slight runny nose and cough

I've been inside for more than 2 weeks now. Just gone out for a couple of minutes every 3-4 days to get fresh meat, wearing a mask and using hand sanitiser. I've had the windows open though, approx 3 metres away from the footpath.

Tell me Yas Forums, am I going to be OK?

they never need covid 19 to control us you faggot. were you on the verge of starting a revolution just before this virus broke out?
use your fucking brain cooked cunt

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I think the artist will do the next ones at 750k and 1 million.

We might be forced to wait for 1mln. So next week

it's too early, we waiting for the 1 million
can't have her swelling up every 100k step

ES PASSSSSIIIIIEERT!!! OOOOO JAAAA ES GESCHIEEEEEHT

Before the lockdown I noticed a lot of coofers, but no one on the street is coofing anymore because the get hateful stares kek

This. It seems they we’re prepping all these years for population control only for this virus to basically be the perfect catalyst.

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"No man it can't spread to animals" t. my normie friends a month ago

>pointing out it came from a fucking bat didn't seem to wake them up

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>turn on news right after waking up a few minutes ago
>First segment says governor of NY is crying again about how the federal government isn't sending them enough ventilators. Not grateful for the ones Trump is already sending and expects Trump to magically generate ventilators out of his dick hole
>Immediately after, the next segment mentions Trump going to the US Naval Station to see off the USS Comfort to NyC. Anchor says with visible and audible disgust, that this is to treat non-COVID patients, without mentioning the point is to free up beds in the hospital for COVID patients and keep non infected away from them.

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I want a bunker bf

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I haven't seen the general public in three weeks, so I wouldn't know.

Wait wait even MORE HAPPENIIIIIIIINGS this year??? WOHAAA SO MANY MANY HAPPENIIIINGS THANK YOU BASED 2020 AAAAHHH....

Normalfag here. Who would that be?

>17% of closed cases dies
Aw shit nigger this is bigger than I expected, why no one is paying attention to this? Time to dig bunkers.

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>4.1 km
>4 million miles away

It's nothing

How long has it been stuck at 4 million miles? One second? Two seconds? This faggot little asteriod isn't going to blot out the sun for a decade

cope

We need a vid of this gif with this song

youtu.be/OCwm08sTA5U

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>Tell me Yas Forums, am I going to be OK?
Noooooo IT'S HAPPENIIIIIIIING

Are you ok there Hans?

streamable.com/4id0y

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30 year old described as super healthy women dies to corona-chan
hln.be/in-de-buurt/zutendaal/limburgse-30-bezwijkt-aan-coronavirus-sportief-kerngezond-en-toch-gebeurt-dit~acc0fd05/

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Thank you Gary.

If this shit gives me permanent lung damage and deletes my balls I'm going to kill all of you.

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aliens and/or WWIII
UFO reports have exploded, videos and photos of weird shit in the night sky

It's time to denominate, 600k should be with no tits.

Is phlegm stuck in your throat a symptom? I heard a congested / runny nose was precisely not covid

That percentage will drop as time goes on. Takes a while to recover

Ahmed finally learned a few bits of german, let him celebrate

>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k
>600k
600k

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Then it's over unless we get a real vax or natural immunity sets in. So it's over then.

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It still amazes me how people watch tv in 2020. All jokes aside there is quite literally no point in doing so. ESPECIALLY in the US where at LEAST 95% is fake news propaganda

BASED

Ok when's the last time you left home?
>today, bought soda again just like yesterday
This might be the last day I'll do it. Some officers told me to be more careful and stay at home. I feel that they'd apprehend me next time.

Inside a New York hospital
instagram.com/p/B-QJ_dGpkzU/

No, Corona is exclusively dry. Dry cough, dry throat.

Its the orange one, seems to be increasing even more.
We are fucked.

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youtube.com/watch?v=XVekJTmtwqM

Runny nose is a rare symptom. Are you coughing up sputum? If so it's not ncov

that percentage will rise as tome goes on, as countries run out of hospitals

Me too Hans. I'm a nurse though so I'm going to be fucked.

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this it's a nothing meteorite

Nice digits

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weren't you gonna abduct some shotas for your bunker?

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Article about chloroquine

unz.com/pescobar/why-france-is-hiding-a-cheap-and-tested-virus-cure/

>As Bugault told me, “test kits – very few in number – were always available but mostly for a small group connected to the French government [ former officials of the Ministry of Finance, CEOs of large corporations, oligarchs, media and entertainment moguls]. Same for chloroquine, which this government did everything to make inaccessible for the population.

>They did not make life easy for Professor Raoult – he received death threats and was intimidated by ‘journalists.’

>...

what the fuck is sputum?

Blessed thread

As I've lost my job I want to bait pedos and extort them for cash. What's a good site/app to do this on?

That's literally me.

Theoreticaly, would it be viable to add a certain % of alcohol and water to street sweepers and fireman trucks to spray around in high human trafuc streets

That's true

ATLAS (look up what the name stands for and when it was discovered) is a comet cloud not an asteroid. Potentially slightly more nail biting.

twitter

Phlegm specifically from your lungs.

Sorry to hear that. I am wörking in essential industry so i have to go to wörk no matter what i hope i am gonna die soon!

The sun is shining everyday, the sky is blue without planes, it rains enough, plants are growing, no car noises, zero work with full pay and I still have enough toilet paper. 10/10.

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Messenger

>mfw I took a month off from my job because I know that within a month there will be enough cases that the state will be forced to shut everything down anyway
4d chess bros.

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I can't cough out anything. It's just stuck there

Fuck you Italy, it's all your fault

Anti-land

Checked. Thanks user.

Prove it.

Really?? Do pedos stalk kids on twitter of all places?

>Japan (+0.93%) Hong Kong (-0.48%) China (-0.29%) Singapore (-0.43%) South Korea (+1.78%)
Uhh
What's up with that?

>Philippines
>272 new cases
LMAO

What’s going on in India?

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Does your chest feel tight? Fever?

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Sputum 44 (23%)
thelancet.com/pb-assets/Lancet/pdfs/S014067362305663.pdf
There's another study saying that you get a runny nose 10-20% of the time iirc

how is joe biden supposed to touch and sniff people with social distancing?

>Greece +0.00%
>Japan +0.93%
Based

This is literally globohomo aids

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youtube

Pacquiao is on watch too

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wheres the 600k lewdness?