Dear americans, this is a bidet. After you take a shit, instead of brushing paper on your ass, you clean it...

> poo particles get blasted all over the bathroom into a fine mist you can inhale.

B A S E D

>bidet

Americans have those, but only in public bathrooms for women. American men don't enjoy fingering their assholes like shithole tribesmen, though if they DID think they needed such a thing, it'd look like a small carwash and offer a hot wax option.

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Hemmerroids* come from a low fiber diet.

You shit in the sink?

Then you have a water mark on your pants from having a wet ass... Got to walk around all day with dank ass. groce.

Cleaning my ass where my hands go no thanks

I tried using one of those when I was in Spain, the water went nowhere near my asshole

you get the same from flushing the toilet

>splashing shitty water about is more sanitary than wiping the shit away

I want one but the walmartians here hate everything European and White.

we use flushable wet wipes after TP so you don't spray shit all over yourself.

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nigga i aint gonn poop in th sink

or shitting your guts out violently for a couple of days... or sitting on your ass playing vidya too much... or getting fucked in the ass regularly.

Holy shit that's so gay I would literally punch any queer I knew that used one

Why are yuros so obsessed with shooting water up their asses?

Sssshhh you're supposed to tell them it's a fountain.

that's not a bidet LMAO

>propagate the shit biome across your entire crack, compromising the natural skin oil barrier with no reference point for how much fecal material remains
Anglo empiricism and toilette paper reign supreme, bidets are for honrary Chinamen and Pajeets

Does the faucet go inside the butt?

why are americans so sexually insecure?

close the seat pablo

>instead of
What? You're supposed to wipe with toilet paper THEN wash your ass with water as well.

I use soap to wash my hands. Without soap, you are just rinsing, which is to say spreading the bacteria and germs around.
Do you use soap with a bidet?

Is the water hot or cold? I'm not squirting cold water up my corn shoot.

Anal douching is the national pastime of all countries that call soccer “football”. In Iraq they pop holes in the tops of bottles and squirt with them. Small wonder their bathroom floors are always covered in shitty water. Smaller wonder that people still die of cholera in these places, and dysentery is commonplace.

Better to make poop soup
than to have a dungy undie.

>poo particles get blasted all over the bathroom into a fine mist you can inhale.

that's a fart btw

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>Do you use soap with a bidet?
Yes, then you dry up with a small towel.

>just touch the poop with your fingers...

Why not just wipe with the towel?

wait, how do you use it?
Do you squat over it or something?

>Asshole is for sex
>totally not gay
>Latvia
..adds up. I think this joke is lost in your cultural norms. You'd be considered gay in America but I guess it's normal where you are.

No need to splash water up your ass at all. You use TP til it comes back white as my hand. This works 95% of the time, but the morning after a really oily food orgie you might need to go for wet wipes or absolute worst case hop in the shower.

You clean it , and you wipe it to dry it after .... just wipe it once to clean it , instead of doing both ...

They are not flushable,
Thanks to pathetic consumer protection laws they can label it that.

If you got a septic system that will fuck it up.

Lots of misconceptions ITT.
This is how it works, at least in Italy:
1. You take a shit;
2. You remove most of the shit with toilet paper;
3. You sit on the bidet, spray soap in your hand, and wash your ass;
4. You dry your ass with a small towel (see attached pic).

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how does cleaning a bidet help the process?

>needing a clean ass for gay sodomy

>this is a bidet
No it isn't.
Is this why americans don't shower?

You share the poop towels?

>asstowel
yikes

That’s a sinkdumbass

>with your hands

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nobody is having sex you mentally gay person

I'll admit, this does make sense.

Maybe once you all die of the Ching Chong, we'll buy them off of your bankrupt government.

Does it come with a stick to mash your poop down that tiny drain hole?

Everyone in the household has a personal one.

>You dry your ass with a small towel
>sharing ass towels

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>not having one of the fancy Japanese all in one bidets with a heated seat

Eurofags make me sick.

>not putting something between your hand and shit
you're just pajeets with garden hoses

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>designated shit towels

but could you imagine the smell of italian girl's?

Go die in a hole spaghetti man

A bidet is also useful for washing your feet and your dick - remember we are not circumcised so dick cheese will build up if we don't remove it daily.

what i do is
>shit
>wipe
dip some tp in the bowl to wet it
>wipe
>dry wipe to finish
>put all clothes back on

Explain the dick cheese issue. How often do you have to wash your cock, and how hard do you wash it?

You still have to dry your ass with toilet paper you half nigger wop.

>>sharing ass towels
Seriously, have no americans ever showered before?

disgusting

just wipe like a normal human

Yeah, why the fuck is the spout pointed down? The bidet attachment that you can buy for your own toilet works 10x better because it actually points at your asshole

Yeah I was shocked as hell when I learned over in europe it was something like that or a seperate hose you have to lean to the side and shove under your ass, then try and spray and pray your hand and the unit doesn't get drenched in backsplash.
I can see why it was for females when first made.
I thought they were all like Japan.

toilet paper is probably a better option than euro ones if you aren't female

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Do you dry your dick with said asstowel or does everyone in the household have a designated dicktowel too

Most Americans only use their towels once before washing them.

>>Asshole is for sex
Kill yourself you dumb Amerinigger.

Or at the very least, don't share towels

>leaving shit particles on your ass
you know a dry piece of paper doesnt clean shit right?

>he shares ass towels when showering
hah GAY

>designated shit towels
OHNONONONONONONAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHANONONONONON YUROPOORS PLEASE TELL ME I-IT ISNT TRUE HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHONNONONONONONONONONO

How does that not get poo all over it

Daily reminder that if you've got a healthy diet with a lot of dietary fiber and empty your bowels on a regular basis you won't need anything but a single safety wipe.

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Why?

So you have shit encrusted towels handing around the bathroom, must be nice for guests when they visit.

I use a towel once, you dirty fucking ape. Stop being a lazy faggot. I take a shower ever morning and at the end of every 2 weeks the basket is full. Imagine unironically using the same towel twice, even thrice. Jesus I can just imagine the smell of shit radiating off of you.

MOOOOOOM can you get my poop towel??

looks like the seat for a fucking gundam
imagine needing a page of instructions to shit

I know if I don't wash (very gently) my glans and the inside of my foreskin at least once a day it will start smelling bad by the following morning. I dry my dick with the asstowel, which I replace with a clean one every 2 days.

Do you think shit sticks easier to your skin or to a porous nonpolar surface?

Cut carbs mostly out a while ago. Meat and some simple veggies.

Popping rocks but they aren't hard to pass strangely. Also going a lot less than I used to, at regular intervals and practically no need to even wipe.

Shit is nice

We can’t have a bidet in our bathrooms cause the jacuzzi takes too much space.

>dick cheese will build up if we don't remove it daily.

>I replace with a clean one every 2 days.
So it's confirmed you hang shit encrusted towels around the bathroom. Kek.

>Imagine the smell

>I dry my dick with the asstowel
ok this is bait, I won't bite anymore

Does it actually smell like shit or is it just a strong musk? Dick cheese is such a foreign concept to me, I feel deprived.

>> in France

Fag having problems with flags

>I dry my dick with the asstowel

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Nope, you can't because you still have a puritan mindset
Corona-chan will finally clean up all the mutt shit posting on this board

>I dry my dick with the asstowel
feels like old Yas Forums in here

Holy shit you really are the stupidest creatures on the planet. So you can figure out how to not share ass towels from showering, but somehow the same exact process is beyond your grasp when it comes to a smaller towel? And you think pointing out this idiocy is advocating sharing towels? How do you even dress yourselves?

Do euro fucks even realize that most euro fucks do not even have bidets?
I don't know about your shithole country, but I never once saw a bidet in Germany, Austria, or the UK.

I finish with a wet wipe.

A sharp and unpleasant musk.

>IF I don't clean my dick DAILY
don't try to school anyone about personal hygiene, puzzone

>shares ass towel
>still criticizes others
lmaoing at your life dude

You literally admitted to having shit crusted towels hanging on your bathroom walls. I don't know what kinds of food you eat in Italy that literally requires you to wipe your ass with your bare fucking hands after every time you take a shit but I'm glad that's not over here. Enjoy your ass and dick cheese towels, disgusting animal.

>drying off after a shower is the same as literally wiping your ass with a towel

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They are too slow even to figure it out

I prefer the three shell method. Fucking plebs

Shit tier. God tier bidets shoot up from below like pic related.

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>WHATT??? YOU DON'T HAVE A SHIT CRUSTED TOWEL HANGING IN YOUR BATHROOM??? FUCKING DIRTY MUTT AMERICANS! HAHAHA
Okay, this is a troll.

Number 3) can be done with a sponge, too

I always ass-umed that was how bidets worked. I like wipes much to my plumbers chagrin

So if you go camping for a weekend, do you smell like dick cheese when you return?

>dick cheese will build up if we don't remove it daily.
lol, stop lying to the americans.

Let's be honest, we know you don't use that bidet for cleanliness. You like the water pressure against your anus, don't you, faggot?

Water doesn't get rid of all the poop
I guess Euros love having shit stained underwear.

He’s fucking with you, dummy