/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2596

BAD NEWS IS ALREADY PRICED IN

BUY STOCKS

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China is the Middle Kingdom. Everything and everyone revolves around it. China's superior system of governance is the way of the future. It's technology and science is unmatched by any civilization. It's people are proud, strong and intelligent. The Han Chinese are the Gods of the real world.

While average IQ westerners care about surface level knowledge, like "GDP" and "elections", the Chinese care about maintaining and advancing civilization. We balance the natural shifts of world power. Without China, the Earth would fall into eternal chaos.

Australia? You mean 澳大利亚. America? You mean 美国. It's Chinese autonomous territory. Hope you know Mandarin, subhumans. Start practicing Han culture instead of your barbaric one. You'll still be a Class-B citizen, but at least you won't be sent to the Sino-African vassal states to do hard labor. You are merely pawns in China's rightful quest of world (and eventual space) domination.

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This is a bioweapon. China never had any infections which is why its numbers are all simulated. They slipped past every border on earth during their mass immigration called Chinese New Year to spread the disease under the radar. Now all they have to do is wait.

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Have there been any recoveries in the United States yet?

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Kek

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GLORY TO USA! THEY ARE RANK 1 NOW, EVEN IN PANDEMIC THEY ARE NO.1! NOTHING CAN BEAT FREEDOM!

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

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its called nothingburgers superspreading

>China Dies
>Boomers Die

Neocons will be dead by morning.

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Nobody is going back to work for two years? You guys are crazy.

Chinks did this. US doctrine answers this with nukes.

Reminder that blood donors are not tested individually for HIV (it's an expensive test) but rather only large batches of blood are tested. This means they have to draw blood from low-risk groups or else the blood supply in this country WILL GO DOWN!
Also, Bernie Bros are now officially gift-giving faggot morons.

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Chink lies, what did you expect.

Can we keep Corona as a loli? it's a small virus after all.

China quit counting like 8 weeks ago

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When are we finally flushing the shitstain that is NOLA? I'm fucking tired of living in this shithole.

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Attempts to counter a supposed Corona-chan egregore, like C*re-chan, perhaps?

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I need a folder of Coronas asap.

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Is it true that americans use 1 whole roll of TP every day?

This virus is shit, I want a refund.

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Honestly this. Too theatrical with the leaks.

>nothingburgers superspreading
for once shills have proven they too can be based at times, kek

Yes, suspected cases have gone down by about 30 from yesterday too. President Xi has got this virus under control in just a month. I am in awe of this guy, you just don't see this efficiency here in the west.

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china is really cucking usa

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i never said that, lockdowns will be in waves time without and time in lockdowns for 2 years, it controls the amount of people infected without fucking the economy for 2 years

*ahem*
*coof*
I believe you owe me an apology, Yas Forums.

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I want a bunker bf...

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it hasn't even begun

Cock

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>► Detected: 535,528 ► Died: 24,103
>Live: youtu.be/qgylp3Td1Bw
>
>— 3.7 billion people put under lockdown —
>— 199 countries and territories infected —
>
>>NEWS
>Chinese company amassed Australian supplies and shipped them out
>archive.is/UKCBB
>
>16 year old female dies in France
>archive.is/xayGk
>
>Chef that criticized people avoiding China Town has died of COVID
>archive.is/GyKm8
>
>Japan has "unexpected" rise in cases, outbreak in Tokyo
>archive.is/9buNt
>
>Treatment with HIV drugs ends in failure in controlled study
>archive.is/bB3xO
>
>>RESEARCH
>21 year old without previous conditions dies in Britain
>archive.is/TiKMA
>
>Type-A blood more likely to catch virus than type-O
>archive.is/Zg2H5
>
>Neuroinvasive potential of nCoV
>archive.is/E2CiO
>
>Aerosolized, airborne transmission
>archive.is/AOka6
>
>Patient tests negative four times, was infected
>archive.is/LAD5r
>
>>REMINDER
>People are not being tested in Japan despite symptoms
>archive.is/YBLyY
>
>China province covers up "viral pneumonia" explosion
>archive.is/Gf9Or
>
>Over half of China shuts down: 80% of GDP, 90% of exports
>archive.is/HLAN0
>
>Thailand hiding cases as "viral pneumonia"
>archive.is/nEuSG
>
>Wartime conditions in China
>archive.is/YN0Cb
OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE'RE ALL DEAD! THE END IS TRULY UPON US!

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We will have to adapt in that time

I'm taking most of next week off. Maybe by the time I have to go back my work will have gotten its shit together and start doing things to stop us from getting it.

Of all my years on Yas Forums, I have never been as angry as I am now with you faggots. You told me this would bring devastation, global collapse, you faggots were ready to skip town within a week of this Wuhan outbreak. You told me to drop everything and prep for the worst, that this was the end of the civilized world as we know it. Yet the situation in Italy is already calming down where the virus apparently hit worse, UK reports that they don't need the extra ICU equipment, Sweden has taken minimal precautions yet the virus has barely TOUCHED them. This is a goddamn flu outbreak and you stupid faggot niggers fell for the greatest psyop of the modern age and I hate everyone of you for dangling this in front of my face in hope. I can't wait for the fucking day where you guys retreat in silence scratching your heads saying "heh yeah really was a nothingburger I wasn't being that serious". FUCK YOU ALL.

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I hope every last Chinese fucker dies a slow horrible painful death

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Jesus fucking christ this really is the apocalypse

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Based ruskies.

That's a retarded mass media influenced restriction anyway, fucking outdated propoganda bulllshit.

No refunds.

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Happy last birthday

I want her butt on my face

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Did congress even mandate production of masks in this country at all? When this calms down we are going back to globalism aren't we?

We're not running low on blood because of coronavirus. This is purely political to push their agenda, potentially putting people's health at risk in the process.

Tomorrow is going to be red. Might not even be a bloodbath, but'll be red.

bricklink 43369c99

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Guys i think something big might be happening in china...
youtube.com/watch?v=2LtA0-qoHOg

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American Exceptionalism

and thats a good thing

we need to end china, this is unacceptable

You can't go outside so shut up

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gays are a vector of disease. try to disprove it.

retard

Get off my board coofer fuck

Your President says you guys will be tired of winning so much and tell him "please stop enough already."

...or something like that.

>2weeks

Our little girl dances for us all

I really don't know what I'd do if I ended up in a position where I was unknowingly taking in a fag's HIV ridden blood for an infusion.

Everyone is a vector for disease. You're in the fucking Corona Virus general you dolt.

Borders are still open. Globalism never stopped and now Trumpbux includes gibs for every person with a pulse in this country and probably some without.

Apparently Corona Chan is no friend to fat niggers. Dispatch from New Orleans.

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Thanks friend.

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What planet are you from? HIV has never been more prevalent.
Is this you?

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Jesus, did they ever find out what the virus was?

if it mutates then its a big happening

Ok, dearie, Ima pass you to my associate, Jethro, who will assimilate you to the sanitation standards exampled by our humble hideaway
You ever been in a carwash, sweetheart? Well this’s a lot like that. We got a hose you down, then scrub. Each of you ladies gets her own mop head to keep y’all sanitary, so no need to worry about that. You’ll take that mop head to your lodging, once we’re all through.
Yes, Jethro’s great, very thorough man of few words. Do try to listen to him carefully as the vocal unit in the suit isn’t meant for a great deal of articulation, more like “Stop!” and “Faster!” and stuff like that. He’s coming through that clamshelling door to our left, you’ll see him once the hypochlorite clears.
Howdy, Jethro! This here’s a thirty five year old corona negative, post-quadragesimalian papilloma census Caucasian female presently in the early phases of menses, strong biometric correlations favor legal first name, “Sadie.”
“Hi, Sadie…”
He needs you to raise your arms so we can spritz dem tiddies, darlin
Now this is what’s called exfoliative pressure. Some girls say they like-
Wew, haha, she does not like that, Jethro!
“You need stand still!”
Now, Jethro, lemme talk to her, not yet-
Sadie, thisll only take a minute, sweetheart, we just gotta blast the entire surface area of your epidermis and only Jethro get’s a read-out in his augs that his work approximates 99.99% completion, which is as high as the dang system will go. You kinda wish the programmers just bogeyed in the extra hundredth to make us all feel less ridiculous.
Hey, Sadie, you ever meet a programmer?
No shit, what were they like?
Yeah, hands all the way up, darlin. Here it comes-
You don’t need to turn around, Jethro needs his exercise. Lookin like you haven’t spaced many rations, huh, Jethro?
“Huhuh, Nope”

kek

I have a family member who works at a major hospital in Michigan and they're at capacity now. No recovered. A lot on ventilators. Absolutely hectic and scary at work. Nurses keep getting exposed to the virus and it's just very bad.

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Ok, Jethro, cuz I can see where this is going and I want to avoid having to sanitize the bench, can you pause for just a minute now so I can talk to Sadie? Thank you, Jethro
Now, Sadie?
Sadie, we’re gonna clean those nether parts of you now and we’re not gonna use that exact same pressure, but it’s still gonna feel, well youll register a great amount of sensation downstairs, but this is for your protection and our protection. We don’t know if you got some webbed haunt for fetal ghosts or a WMD project brewing, but we gotta at least surfactant blast those insides. You’ll feel better, I promise, and remember, after all this, we got dry, warm, lodging, hot food, good food too. You made the right choice, Sadie, but this part’s not easy.
Ok, I’m glad to hear that. Aren’t you glad, Jethro?
Alright, Jethro, why don’t you hose her down and then give hose sixteen a tug
“Sixteen!?”
Jethro, I know, but the rest are down for maintenance, don’t got suds, or lack a rectal nozzle for this type of female.
Don’t mind us, sweetie, we’re just talking shop.
Jethro, why don’t you finish her externals, oh, and Sadie, you’ll want to cover your eyes when Jethro’s doin the face. Take it you like your vision, heh!”
Wow, Jethro, you are a cleaning machine, an artist. Look at Sadie now, pink as a fetal pig, woohoo!
Alright, now Sadie, this part here is gonna feel weird, but there’s nothing painful. We gotta clean out your gastrointestinal surfaces in their entirety and we do that with a gently pressured flow of chemicals that will relax each subsequent sphincter in your guts and suds its way on up to your esophagus, when we’ll turn her off, takes about fifteen, twenty minutes, give or take.
Oh, sweetie, you can’t stop now. You want us to boot you back out into the wilds, take your chances with the heshes?
Jethro, help her back up – no, dammit, Jethro, put down the sprayer, you don’t need that anymore, dummy!
“Sorry!”

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>>Dead: 24,181
>lol, still only 24,181.
>How many days has it been stuck at 24,181? Four days? Five days?
Update your fake ass pic fag

Now, Sadie, all you gotta do is just spread ‘em, and let Jethro feed that nozzle up your hiney. It’s not going far, but you’ll feel a suction lock it in place. Jethro, make sure that thing is lubed up. I can see from here it’s dry as hay.
You’re doing great, Sadie. Once we clean out your insides, you’ll get to start eating some high quality food to help rebuild your body, get your digestion working optimally.
That’s a good question, Sadie, you’ll have to ask the other girls in your barn. I don’t usually track their vitals, I’m just the gate guy.
Ok, stay still, Sadie, you’re doing great. Careful, now, Jethro- Nice work! There! That wasn’t too bad-
Oh, oh-Jethro, she does not like that, you’re gonna need to string her up, yup, just, no, no inversion, just grab her wrists, yeah, I’m lowering the nearest ceiling hook.
“Thank you!”
Glad to be of service, Jethro. I’m starting the pump now.

faggots are sub human

It don't matter what you fucking excuse is. Your going to hell, Xi.

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praise gary
may he lead us to the truth in these dark times

Why would you take anything here seriously? It’s all satire, bro.

Keep your diseases to yourself, faggot

don't talk to gary like that

Holy shit user, I think you might be on to something.

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do any of you lads hop into older threads archived to see all the nothingburgers?

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Buttsex causes easily preventable disease to spread. Lesbians don't have the same risk as faggots.

>Nurses keep getting exposed
Pics?

>my state still wont lockdown
>everyone running around not getting tested
>like 30 test kits in the whole state
>no one really knows wtf is going on

USA is fucked isnt it,....

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That's me w bedroom eyes, I smoked and drank too much.. !

Whatever you say, G0Y

the only thing to be taken here seriously is the severe mentally ill crisis we have with these anons masturbating to these drawings.