/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2581 - LOCKDOWN EDITIONS

Form an orderly line i'll be with you in a second.
Nurse Burger will answer any questions you might have.

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>live by myself and only have 21 TP rolls left
BROS?!

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now this is podracing

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>does anyone else ever get violent thoughts when they see a woman
like whenever i see some fucking thot sticking her ass out wearing almost nothing obviously vying for attention and wanting to be desired, i find it hard to stop myself from daydreaming about bashing her smug fucking whore face in with a fucking golf club, watching her expression go from that fake "trying to be cute" face they all make to fear and then horror as she starts screaming and pleading with me before i hit her again and knock the wind out of her disgusting whore body, her screaming turns to frantic gurgling as i keep bashing her stupid fucking face in over and over until even that subsides, she's unrecognizable her head is a bloody bubbling pulp, all shades of red speckled with bright white and soggy grey littering her crushed cranium alongside tufts of her stupid fucking dyed hair jesus fucking christ i hate these people so god damned much i don't even want pussy from them i don't want their attention i don't want to be liked by these vile people they're disgusting, if one of them touched me i'd cut my fucking hand off i just want them to fucking DIE

I DID MY TIME
AND I WANT OUT

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godspeed Corona chan

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>BREAKING: U.S. overtakes China as the country with the highest number of confirmed coronavirus cases

BREAKING: U.S. overtakes China as the country with the highest number of confirmed coronavirus cases

>BREAKING: U.S. overtakes China as the country with the highest number of confirmed coronavirus cases

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warsh yer hole in the shower

This happened today

I called a friend that lives in a rural part of Texes
POLLEN SEASON there
had a sinus infection from allergies
no other symptoms
had a very low fever 99.2
The nurse only took their temp, then wrote on a separate list for Corona Virus detection
no virus test was given
yet the name was put on the rouster
they are lying about the amount of VIRUS VICTIMS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHAT THE FUCK PASTABROS???????

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SURPASS CHINA BEFORE ANY COUNTRY OUT THERE?

THE MUTTS CAN'T JUST STEAL THE FIRST PLACE

YOU'LL SEE TOMORROW! ITALY FIRST PLACE!

ITALIA NUMERO UNO!
>ITALIA NUMERO UNO!
ITALIA NUMERO UNO!
>ITALIA NUMERO UNO!
ITALIA NUMERO UNO!
>ITALIA NUMERO UNO!

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A nothing burger.
Take your medicines, schizos.
Stop making these threads.

should last you a week at least

I can see that ironically.

Thank you for that good shit got anymore?

Time to designate the shit rag

fucking fearmongering happingfags idiots. this is natures way of getting rid of the weak and overpopulation. and it doesnt even kill people lmao

Christian pastor who thought COVID-19 is just ‘mass hysteria’ is among the first in Virginia to die from virus

rawstory.com/2020/03/christian-pastor-who-thought-covid-19-is-just-mass-hysteria-is-among-the-first-in-virginia-to-die-from-virus/

He died to save the economy!

NOOOOOOOOOO NOT MY STOCKERINOS NOOOO MY LOW BLACK UNEMPLOYMENT NOOOOO

I NEED MY STOCKERINOS TO BE HIGH, WHAT HAPPENED TO BOOMER'S 401K

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just what is his endgame?

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How tall is tall?

Pwnt

You are awful /cvg/....

>at present rate of death
OH NO NO NO

Serious question. If Coronavirus reaches apocalyptic-tier like million of deaths, how could you deal with it?

I mean shit its all fun and games until we all start dropping like flies

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>mfw looking at Michigan right now
>2k cases
>two largest healthcare systems hit capacity yesterday

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cant say i dont feel that
which is weird because i have plenty of sex

You will be too far back to achieve first place anymore. You are forever #2.

good thing you're going back to work soon

Based Schlomo poster.

OH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEEEE

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I welcome extinction.

>muh economic collapse
Lol okay, maybe in your dreams.
Happening cancelled.

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old/sick people drop like flies

why don't we fight all diseases like flu this strongly?

>255 new cases
>total number of cases 1,819
>Ten more deaths
>Total number of deaths 19.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HELP US

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they followed people in cults with near future prophesies and the failure of those prophecies to come true rarely ever dissuaded the cult members.

slate.com/technology/2011/05/apocalypse-2011-what-happens-to-a-doomsday-cult-when-the-world-doesn-t-end.html

" Festinger was not so wide of the mark when he suggested that we adapt to even the most unlikely of contradictions using nothing more than our methods of everyday rationalization. The faithful could just as easily be those who stubbornly stand by disgraced politicians, failed ideologies, dishonest friends, or cheating spouses, even when reality highlights the clearest of inconsistencies."

>How will Q tards cope when their whole massive conspiracy never actually happens
"Disinfo is necessary!!"

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The flu doesn't make my lungs swiss cheese.

Forza Italia you are still leading the european cup

it's not fair bros... it was our time...

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The characteristic of the low IQ nothingburgers are:
>Comparing ongoing events with uncertain outcomes with already ended events with established outcomes
>Thinking that chinavirus and flu are the same thing, cannot grasp that flu fatalities are to be ADDED to covid fatalities
There is no amount of informationm evidence or facts to convince a low IQ retarded that he is wrong.

Serves her right for fucking up Seinfeld's joke on that episode
I always hated that cunt

>judging corona chan that is a new virus to an already establihed flu

AMERICAAAA
FUCK YEAH

>Infection rates rising
>Death toll rising
>Stock market rising
What a time to be alive

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>COUNTRIES LIST
United States 81,896 (1,176) China 81,285 (3,287) Italy 80,589 (8,215) Spain 56,347 (4,154) Germany 43,646 (262) Iran 29,406 (2,234) France 29,155 (1,696) Switzerland 11,811 (191) United Kingdom 11,658 (578) South Korea 9,241 (131) Netherlands 7,431 (434) Austria 6,847 (49) Belgium 6,235 (220) Canada 3,910 (39) Turkey 3,629 (75) Portugal 3,544 (60) Norway 3,346 (14) Brazil 2,915 (77) Sweden 2,840 (71) Australia 2,806 (13) Israel 2,693 (8) Malaysia 2,031 (23) Czech Republic 1,925 (9) Denmark 1,877 (41) Ireland 1,564 (9) Luxembourg 1,453 (9) Japan 1,399 (47) Ecuador 1,382 (34) Chile 1,306 (4) Poland 1,221 (16) Pakistan 1,179 (9) Thailand 1,045 (4) Romania 1,029 (22) Saudi Arabia 1,012 (3) Finland 958 (5) Indonesia 893 (78) Greece 892 (26) Russia 840 (3) Iceland 802 (2) India 722 (16) Diamond Princess 712 (10) Philippines 707 (45) Singapore 683 (2) Peru 580 (9) Slovenia 562 (6) Panama 558 (8) Estonia 538 (1) Argentina 502 (8)…

>LATEST CHANGES
United States +13,685 (+149) China +67 (+6) Italy +6,203 (+712) Spain +6,832 (+507) Germany +6,323 (+56) Iran +2,389 (+157) France +3,922 (+365) Switzerland +914 (+38) United Kingdom +2,129 (+115) South Korea +104 (+5) Netherlands +1,019 (+78) Austria +1,259 (+18) Belgium +1,298 (+42) Canada +501 (+3) Turkey +1,196 (+16) Portugal +549 (+17) Brazil +361 (+18) Sweden +314 (+9) Australia +130 (+2) Israel +324 (+3) Malaysia +235 (+3) Czech Republic +271 (+3) Denmark +153 (+7) Luxembourg +120 (+1) Japan +92 (+2) Ecuador +171 (+5) Chile +164 (+1) Poland +170 (+2) Pakistan +116 (+1) Romania +123 (+5) Saudi Arabia +112 (+1) Finland +78 (+2) Indonesia +103 (+20) Greece +71 (+4) India +65 (+4) Philippines +71 (+7) Slovenia +34 (+1) Egypt +39 (+3) Croatia +53 (+2) Colombia +21 (+2) Mexico +70 (+1) Serbia +73 (+3) Iraq +36 (+7) Algeria +65 (+4) Armenia +25 (+1) Morocco +50 (+4) Andorra +36 (+2) Tunisia +27 (+1)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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got this queued up to watch for a while now.

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>million of deaths
the estimate by the Imperial College study, which used a much lower CFR and R0, for the US was 2 million dead from the virus alone in 12 to 18 months.
That was assuming the US was carrying out a wide variety of measures that we haven't done yet

unironically the US is probably going to be in the 5 to 10 million dead total range

>Doesn't like a particular thread
>Posts in it
>Tells everyone to stop making the thread

Why do shills do this?

mods should play that as a sticky

I find myself thinking 'What the FUCK would we even talk about if we had a conversation?'

They would have checked her fever and looked for any coughs. That's why she was on that observation room; they'd send her on he way if she'd be free of those overnight.

They won't waste a test if there's no symptoms.

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Jacking off, probably

In 30 days it will have 80 million cases.

So 40x what the flu has killed.

But condensed into the span of just a couple months, with the hospitals full to capacity, which will multiply those deaths over again.

And it keeps going higher.

i hope i find one in irl whit shit taste in men

Stocks up means no lockdown means more virus. Stop thinking the virus causes the economic collapse the lockdowns are.

i dunno man i think i dont see him since 950 + something theards but i could be wrong

>Aaaaaaaaany minute now... world is ending , end is nigh , etc
Based kike poster btw

I like my steak aged 28 days

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FAKE STOCK MARKET, FAKE BURGERS ECONOMY

staying inside like we always do?

Wash your ass in the shower. It will be disgusting, but in a pinch it's all you can do.

A shitload of them are going to die coofing pretty soon, they will die with visions of Q and Trump standing together at the end of a white tunnel of light.

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>they didn't listen

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21 rolls, 21 days

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We are 6 deaths away from claiming the silver medal! Tonight is our night!

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Ok, there's NO CURE for the virus. Once you get it it's forever. Once in a while infected get relapces with the nonzero death chance, if they got any other conditions they are unlikely to recover. Average life epectance is going to plummet to about 60 years.

Get fucked. The fed just created a bubble that will pop very soon. They are literally artificially pumping it, especially boeing

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USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

>meanwhile Israel is under full lockdown can't even enter
fuck of kike

Who even believes Q besides actual Boomers

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Alright you pastaniggers, we'll show you how its done, time for mutts to die left and right after trump sends us back to work.

Why USA always has to win

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Just got silver then

hope for a fitting and decent color jumpsuit.

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>FUTURE MARKETS
United States (+6.71%) Germany (+2.65%) France (+3.00%) United Kingdom (+3.12%) Italy (+1.64%) Switzerland (+2.89%) Spain (+2.07%) Austria (+4.10%) Poland (+3.49%) Netherlands (+1.91%) Hungary (+0.00%) Russia (+4.39%) Greece (+4.30%) Brazil (+4.11%) Japan (-0.58%) Hong Kong (+1.79%) China (+1.93%) Australia (+3.08%) Singapore (+2.50%) India (+6.32%) South Korea (-1.40%) Taiwan (+0.07%) South Africa (+4.80%)

>LIVE TRAFFIC
Sydney (0%) Tokyo (-14%) Beijing (-1%) Wuhan (-2%) New Delhi (-20%) Dubai (-17%) Moscow (-8%) Rome (-32%) Milan (-17%) Berlin (-6%) Munich (-5%) Brussels (-6%) Paris (-18%) Madrid (-18%) Barcelona (-10%) London (-18%) Johannesburg (+6%) Sao Paulo (-45%) Buenos Aires (-27%) New York (-61%) Washington (-49%) Miami (-39%) Toronto (-54%) Chicago (-19%) Houston (-29%) Mexico City (-48%) Los Angeles (-30%) Seattle (-52%)

>LOCKDOWNS AGGREGATE
India (1.3b) China (760m) Pakistan (205m) United States (196m) Mexico (129m) Egypt (97m) Germany (82m) Philippines (70m) Brazil (66m) France (66m) United Kingdom (66m) Italy (60m) South Africa (56m) Colombia (49m) Spain (46m) Argentina (44m) Ukraine (42m) Poland (37m) Morocco (35m) Peru (32m) Venezuela (32m) Malaysia (31m) Nepal (29m) Australia (24m) Romania (19m) Netherlands (17m) Ecuador (16m) Belgium (11m) Tunisia (11m) Czech Republic (10m) Greece (10m) Portugal (10m)…

>FULL LISTS
pastebin.com/raw/S29XMKEr

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>he thinks it's over and not just getting started
You faggots are going to be in for a rude awakening.

We'll still be having these threads in March of 2021, if Yas Forums is even still around by that point.

Angry you didn't buy the dip when it hit bottom?

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peak longchink, thx user

Only if the lock-down in the US continues and Trump is cray enough to open the country up early

>Portugal 3,544 (60)
JUST

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roll

I'm in Socal how fucked am I bros

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>army
it's the police

The terrone will come through pasta bro
Give it 2 weeks

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white house almost live. hows your Easter now trump

can we finally admit it's a nothingburger
sure, big number scary, but if people would go out of their way of making a big media drama and tracking numbers of the seasonal flu, it would look just as devastating: millions get infected and hundreds of thousands die worldwide each year.

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We've come so far

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We're the best at everything that's why

THE WAY YOU LEFT ME
I'M NOT PRETENDING
NO HOPE NO GLORY
NO HAPPY ENDING

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SOMEONE RED PILL ME ON BILL MITCHEL WHO IS THIS?

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Follow the Indian way

half of the world is on lockdown
in 1-2 weeks its over
every major country will flatten out

Every major state in the US is on lockdown
Trump is saying a lot, doing nothing
The US is Federal

Most of the USA is also in lockdown faggots

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HOW I CAN BUY FUTURES ON THIS INSTRUMENT?

I got my soul straight, but I guess I'd try to take down China and die like a bitch

>Please, don't worry about the virus.
>We have the government.
>We have the local people.
>We have the hospitals.
>So don't worry about anything.
>Xie, xie!

streamable.com/hb4le
streamable.com/hb4le
streamable.com/hb4le
streamable.com/hb4le
streamable.com/hb4le

BASED CHINK SHILL

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Random CAPITALIZATION writing style detected
Chances that POSTER is a LITERAL BOOMER from r*ddit: 99.9%

How are you going wipe out something that don’t exist. It only exists in the vaccination if you get it. It’s just something for government to push new world order.

What really disturbs me is how those brainwashed people who are being paid to enforce this insanity can look around at what they have done to the livelihood of their family, friends, and neighbors and feel good about their actions. What they don’t realize is that once they have effectively destroyed the lives of so many to further the agenda of a few, the table will turn and they will be next on the chopping block, they will then be just as unimportant as the rest of us.

I am making an effort to use this therapy on a regular basis biomat.com/faq/the-basics/

I have literally no idea what any of that shit means.

can some artfag please make a corona chan version of this pic?

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Either or happens, it only ends badly kek

>712 pastas
>Curve /flattened/
Happening cancelled frens

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>argentina
>day 6 (six, not even a week) of quarantine
twitter.com/morandolucas/status/1243279178985803787

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Oh so you mean june. Ok

Justfags are always the biggest idiots.

So when is this happening supposed to "happen"? Okay, So far our girl has grown a lot - we've got hundreds of thousands of infected, Italian and Spanish morgues overwhelmed and half of the world under lockdown, which is good and all since we can sit home and shitpost, but I'm still wondering how long we're supposed to wait until full social collapse.
If this is it and we'll not witness a true collapse then I'd rather be done with it quickly and go back to normal, i still have my facade of normal university student aiming for a normal job to take care of, doing normal student stuff, with anime to watch and games to play, etc. If this is really the black swan then I'd like it to see really wreaking enough havoc so that i can just throw "normal life" out of the window without hesitation and embrace whatever comes next. I just hate this half-assed state in which it's supposed to be fucking HAPPENING and nothing will ever be the same but yet i still have to do shitty online homework and worry about entertaining people i don't give a shit about.
If it's actually going to happen i want it to be crystal clear so that i can act accordingly and stop hedging with different options and plans that may well be made meaningless.
I'm tired of playing out thousands of different hypothetical scenarios in my head - just give me some fucking certainty already. I hate this Schroedinger's happening.

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Come on 3 or 0

there are still more people angry they bought the dip at 27k, 25k, 23k, and even 22.5k because that's just breaking even and it's on the verge of going back down. america #1 infected worldwide prepare your anus for fridays losses

>he didn't buy when it hit bottom
Stay butthurt brokefag.

How is that apocalyptic lmao

Why aren't the numbers of the other diseases fluctuating? I call bullshit.

>this tweet was less than 2 months ago

>shutting down the economy over a virus that is only 2 times more deadly than the flu
Happening is over. Markets are recovering. Everyone's going back to work after Easter.

*CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK*

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t. olavete

Killing the whole country. He genuinely thinks it's just a flu.
Pretty sure he's gonna end up getting killed.

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YOU CAN DO IT SPAGHETTI BROS

USA USA USA USA
BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD
PROUD TO BE MURICAN

On my throne of deenz
Shitposting in /cvg/
This is somethingburger

Worldometer still hasn't updated, still at 2425

I'd either die or I wouldn't. There is nothing else to say or do.

TEN DEATHS IN ONE DAY IN IRELAND. IT'S GETTING WORSE

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A criminal waste of resources.

post your numbers for today, colgate

Nice propped up corpse you got there.

Protecting Yourself
You can protect yourself from COVID-19 and any other flu-like illness by following these simple steps:

Stay home and go out only to take care of basic needs.
Stay away from sick people and practice social distancing measures.
Wash your hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds.
Don’t touch your eyes, nose and mouth.
Clean and disinfect surfaces using household cleaning spray or wipes.
Cover coughs and sneezes with a tissue and throw the tissue in the trash.

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Is there anyone who has been here from the beginning, seen all the warnings and still hasn't prepped?
On the other hand a 16 year old girl died in Paris.

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the only scary thing ITT is your disease-ridden asshole

>Doesn't like a particular thread
He's literally baiting for (you)s. I assure you everyone here is on the happening bandwagon. t. gypsy seer

>implying I'm gonna make it
Bold

India enforcment

twitter.com/CoronaVirusData/status/1242805600196714496

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God is punishing you for being Irish.

It's just a jew bro.

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

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checked, wtf is happening, free mud giveaway?

lol

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USA will have 100k by tomorrow kek

Paid boomer miga shill enjoying his 15minutes

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Being Irish was already a punishment.

Cmon bro, look up how many people die in an average day there.

>did he buy?
>yes the bull has been prepped
>good
>dump it

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I sit in this fucking house. I leave to buy food. Or to deliver food to my dad. I speak on the phone.
I'll do this until somebody physically drags me out or the infection dies down.

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I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY

how does coughing into tissues protect yourself? you are already sick

Oh boy are you texas toast

Why will it take scientists a year to put potential vaccine to use?

>America has taken 1st place for infected
>Now it's the long road to 1st place for deaths
youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4

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LA fag here. I’m scared desu

this is the single greatest, best happening I have ever been a part of.
THANK YOU CORONA-CHAN!

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w.. wheres the user that wrote the story about the girls being treated like cattle and hosed up to clean them out.

thats some hot stuff right there. not sure about the jethro stuff but hey whatever you like mang.

Society isn't going to collapse, but this is a good practice run for the worse pandemics to come. We're lucky it's COVID-19 and not another spanish flu.

We have the best cases, a lot of them! How can China even compare?

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I actually have it already and so do both my parents. I'm on day 5.

>Trump

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You'll get your lights punched out if you cough openly.

Wish for 2 million infected granted.

They also said that china did a good job containing, and that there was no human to human transmission

Life isn't a fucking movie. There is no theatric timing. You get to watch the world slowly crumble like your lungs will fill with blood and pus.

All the way through when

How do you think he'll react today to america reaching first place? Will he even mention it?

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It means stonks will go up tomorrow as well. Preparing for that sweet 20% drop on Monday.

REMEMBER TO GO OUTSIDE TO THE BALCONY AT 8pm EVERY DAY
i.4cdn.org/wsg/1584555923947.webm

ass to mouth

Just coomed to the autistic qt with the huge ass in Britain that killed her self. Actually got a headache, dick is sore af too. I suggest you do the same

>twitter.com/morandolucas/status/1243279178985803787
>La historia arrancó más temprano, cuando se agrupaban para venir a saquear del otro lado. Se dio aviso a la policía, que intervino, calmó las cosas y unas horas después llegó el camión. Mientras, una mañana con miedo.

Brownies were getting ready to go looting until the neigbhors called the cops. The cops dispersed the crowd and then an hour later the food truck showed up. Well, I think brownies have learned a valuable lesson today.

Well?

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We don't have the industrial capacity to make billions of vials of a new vaccine overnight.

dead cat bounce, with unlimited printing of springs

It's the daily peak ever recorded for each of those diseases, it's not likely to change for any of them except corona.

Too soon.

read it here if you missed it.

Since I doubt that housing prices will fall and countries will stop importing niggers and other trash, titty growing corona-chan is the best thing that this virus created.

If it breaks it will very very suddenly get bad
This is the slow phase

Oh shit

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those are long-term averages (except where mentioned otherwise), while for corona it's the maximum

But what if you get it then recover?

So this...is the power...of Corona-chan...wow...

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Chen Squiushy got cornrona'd by PPC?
youtube.com/watch?v=xLMd57cWYM4&feature=youtu.be

Who is worse the grifter or the guy that dies because he fell for the grift against all reasonable evidence to the contrary?
This is like the people that eat their noses off using black salve to fight skin cancer and then die of sepsis.

Get to China chop chop, reaf - all safe for you now. Numbah won - you no get laked now

Michibro here, everyone is out like it's nothing despite lockdown. Boomers touching everything, laughing at me with gloves. Oh my God the judgement about to rain down on us is awesome. My grandma's excited for cheap Florida property like some cold bitch but at least she's a little smarter

>released everyone in prison
[warlords are a go sir]

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I feel special for seeing it

...

Who's this old lady?

To protect our profits

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It's based off of the american system of animal testing and numerous clinical trials before it is approved. Countries that allow patients to opt into experimental treatments could have it earlier, although with more potential side effects.

yes yES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!
youtube.com/watch?v=toqBkrIeGG0

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roll for ISO 3166 county code which is going to desintegrate first

The WHO fuck up so constantly, this won't even stand out as notable to historians.

We don't care about your shithole Halep

Probably buy a house for cheaper and give my employees a pay raise