Ok this is not meant to be a grab for you's but an important thread.
I understand that thousands of former wagies are now out of a job and queing outside centrelinks. Im here to tell you how to get it.
Getting newstart was a pain in the ass before all this shit. You think the server crashes and wait times are bad now? Anyway.
What you need to get newstart 1. SEPARATION CERTIFICATE IOT get this you need to have completed your employment. Meaning you need to quit or be fired. You cant be on leave or stood down, you need to be out of a job. It needs to be requested through your employer to centrelink. It can take weeks to get. You cant get newstart without it. So before you even bother logging into MYGOV go and tell your fuckwit boss to get this sorted. Its your choice, you can hold out one extended leave OR you can quit and get neetbux then maybe fight for job back in 6 months time 2. Bank statements. You need to prove how much you have the in the bank at the time of lodgement. If you receive any benefits IE DVA, disability, property or inheritance then you need to declare it. Your amount of savings will affect how much you get too. From memory if you have like 30k in the bank then you cant get welfare. 3. Tax file number, bank account numbers, recent group certificate. 4. Know how much all your property is worth. Car, clothing, personal items etc. This will affect whether you get newstart or how much you get. IE if you own a giant mansion well sorry you aint getting shit. Sell it.
I need some help frens. My usual ways to waste gov resources and piss of women are not working because of corona virus. I can no longer trash public toilets or smear shit across random cars at night. I can no longer chadfish roasties and stand them up. I can no longer fake suicides as I risk getting corona virus. I can still bludge on cenno. I need new ideas frens t. bust a nut guy
Ryan Anderson
>less than 120 posts >creates new thread >somehow shittier I'll give you a C+ for effort because you're not on the jannie shitlist
Hey lads Sorry no clint wojak yesterday (last couple?) I've been getting blasted all week and listening to blues while I try to learn the harmonica. After some youtube lessons I can get the bend notes.
Can anyone help me out with some advice, I want to save this youtube video. Whatever format is fine. youtube.com/watch?v=ybRaqFbxaC8 Problem is en.savefrom won't allow music video downloads (some restriction), other sites won't allow downloads of vids over 15 minutes long.
>dumbcunt Forgive me for not being a fucking bludger
Jonathan Price
Welp boys got told there would be pay cuts to keep the company going today, looks like I am losing 15% of my income starting April 1st. Going to have wife get on the job seeker allowance and get ScomoBux. She hasn't worked or claimed benefits in years but we will need it to keep afloat.
"what do we do about these chinks?... No New Zealand, we can't keep sucking the off"
Noah Gray
sucks for you, make sure to bring 100 points of ID inducing 1 form of photo id and stand in line like the rest of the cattle you unemployed leech
Caleb Davis
It wouldn't hurt them to work longer shifts. They could roster on overtime but yeah they won't do it probably.
James Roberts
3*
Jacob Myers
well, Iwill be sure to inform everyone in line with me to stand 4 meters apart.
Fuck this is a joke, the government had two months to forewarn and roll out a staggered shut down and prepare centrelink for the influx. The stimulus put additional time-pressure on this that was entirely unnecessary
Also >normies have to get centrelink >double amount so they don't realize how fucked it is
Aaron Martinez
Your wife wont get shit nigger. Dont get your hopes up.
If you're a couple, and you workfull and earn over the minimum amount, your wife wont get shit.
They dont give bux to people who are married with 1 person who is still working.
I highly doubt your 15% paycut put you under the threshold unless you earn fuck all
Lincoln Long
According to recent reports, we have just 22 days’ worth of crude oil, 59 days of liquefied petroleum gas (LPG), 20 days of petrol, 19 days of aviation fuel, and 21 days of diesel in reserve.
Fuck me lads.
Owen Powell
>Australia is a lucky country run mainly by second rate people who share its luck. It lives on other people's ideas, and, although its ordinary people are adaptable, most of its leaders (in all fields) so lack curiosity about the events that surround them that they are often taken by surprise.
Scomo just passed away from covid 19 what the fuck is going on
Kevin Bennett
I earn fuck all. I've checked and it puts me below the threshold. Basically waiting for it to take effect before we file a claim.
Logan Johnson
>59 days of liquefied petroleum gas (LPG), 20 days of petrol, 21 days of diesel LPG car Chad here, I'll drive you cunts around for blowjobs from your missus
Bentley Jackson
no
Anthony Clark
No sorry I was wrong scomo is alive and well it's the queen whose dead
Anthony Lopez
Tell your wife you're going to become an escort and you'll provide. Get her working on your ass tonight and you'll be ready for tomorrow.
Julian Cook
Wrong, reptiles can't get coronavirus
Blake Ortiz
Why are you married if you earn "fuck all"
Howd you convince a girl to marry you with a shit job
Benjamin Moore
Who would pay to fuck an aus/pol/ user?
Ryan Foster
Can we admit scomo has high functioning autism
Ryan Allen
>seperation certificate
after finally getting mine earlier today, i logged in to find that it was no longer a required document. I submitted my claim without it successfully FYI
Grayson Gutierrez
She likes me. Not all woman are whores bro. I couldn't work when we got married.
Jackson Price
my missus works at chemist warehouse, im fucked lads
Carson Smith
Is it worth joining the reserves??
I've never been a NEET before
Julian Gomez
>From memory if you have like 30k in the bank then you cant get welfare. it's only available for those with less than 5,500 cash on hand.
Jaxson Reyes
They have a shitload of people unemployed because of the biggest crisis since world war 2, they are going to be rubber stamping claims for months
Tyler Fisher
Get into a niche market like deep insertion. I would pay $ to watch your wife's hand disappear up your clacker up to her shoulder.
William Young
Take this however you want, it will happen and you heard it here first.
Melbourne will be closing down Monday, coming from mate with connections in city council, get prepped while you can lads, shits about to ramp up big time.
I have inside information for all you neets. Your not getting any extra cash, not now not ever. Due to new data the government is calling the nation wide lockdown this weekend. Due to the amount of actual tax payer wagies now needing assistance and projected amount of boomers needing ventilators and what not they are going to cancel extra gibs to those already on welfare. Screen cap this.
Jason Mitchell
HOLY FUCK RONALD MCDONALD JUST DIED FROM CORONA-19
The neet life is great son, nobody in the neet life is here to shame you for it. Together we better ourselves by being there each other in times of need. We all have our own lives but we never disregard the safety of others, neet life is chill, neet life will always be there, neet life is eternal bliss and tendies!
Also a dumb cunt. It's not. It's suspended. You don't have to look for a job because there aren't any fucking jobs.
You have zero obligation and they're effectively doubling your payment. No, you don't have to call to have your payment doubled, in fact, don't call and ask or go down there because you just waste everyones fucking time by asking a stupid question and it slows down the process for all the previously "productive" people.
You're welcome, t. wagecuck
Cooper Rodriguez
That's actually a great description. Who said that?
> cancer > cancelled I think you answered your own question
Zachary Baker
Yes it does. However nothing like this has ever happened in the history of welfare before. The government now has a mandate of “priority support” it basically means welfare will now be a priority to workers and pensioners.
Ryder Torres
No need for Avgas now.
Chase Hernandez
How the fuck am I going to look at the fatherless shirtless 12 year old boys in underwear their fucked up mothers brought in
Wyatt Long
DSP funding cuts will be announced by the end of April as well. Again screen cap this.
