Brit/pol/ - Exams CANCELLED Edition

>Coronavirus: Off-licences added to list of 'essential' retailers
bbc.co.uk/news/business-52033260

>Coronavirus: 'Game changer' COVID-19 tests could be available in days, MPs told
news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-game-changer-covid-19-tests-could-be-available-in-days-mps-told-11963509

>UK says half a million people file welfare claims
uk.reuters.com/article/uk-health-coronavirus-britain-welfare/uk-says-half-a-million-people-file-welfare-claims-idUKKBN21C278

>Prince Charles tests positive for coronavirus
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52033845

>Coronavirus: NHS predicted to cope with increased demand
bbc.co.uk/news/health-52035615

>Benefit assessments suspended for three months while new claimants told to stay away from Jobcentres
welfareweekly.com/benefit-assessments-suspended-for-three-months-while-new-claimants-told-to-stay-away-from-jobcentres/

>Vehicle owners to be granted MOT exemption in battle against coronavirus
gov.uk/government/news/vehicle-owners-to-be-granted-mot-exemption-in-battle-against-coronavirus

>Sky ‘Looking After’ Customers By Putting Up U.K. Television Prices Amid Coronavirus Crisis
forbes.com/sites/barrycollins/2020/03/23/sky-looking-after-customers-by-putting-up-uk-television-prices-amid-coronavirus-crisis/amp/

>'Avoid using microwave to get faster internet'
bbc.co.uk/news/business-52027348

>Urgent action needed as spike in porn site traffic raises abuse fears, say MPs
theguardian.com/global-development/2020/mar/25/urgent-action-needed-as-spike-in-porn-site-traffic-raises-abuse-fears-say-mps

>Scotland to pay student nurses band 4 to tackle Coronavirus
nursingnotes.co.uk/scotland-pay-student-nurses-band-4-tackle-coronavirus/

>Youths run riot drinking, smashing bottles and setting wheelie bins on fire in County Durham
chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/youths-run-riot-drinking-smashing-17961709

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Other urls found in this thread:

archive.is/msuJa
dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8152137/Britain-braced-food-rationing-academic-expert-warns.html
worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/uk/
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-52041709
chng.it/HtccfvLYTc
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8153131/British-coronavirus-death-toll-rises-41-465-England-sees-28-fatalities.html
gov.uk/guidance/high-consequence-infectious-diseases-hcid
youtube.com/watch?v=wRWCK9zGynA
youtube.com/watch?v=lh0w01S7Jnk
youtube.com/watch?v=eZUQ2FdwIyY
youtube.com/watch?v=jDGDw4GWcf4
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

archive.is/msuJa
>London woman dies of suspected Covid-19 after being told she was 'not priority'
>Williams said: “I called 999 because my wife was breathless, she was vomiting and she had pains in her stomach. As I was talking to them she was getting worse and they told me to put her on the floor and to make her body flat.”
>When the paramedic arrived at 8.32am she carried out some tests, Williams said. “She told me the hospital won’t take her, she is not a priority. She did not stay very long and she went outside to write her report and posted it through the door.”
>Williams said his wife’s condition deteriorated the next day. He ran her a bath in the morning and helped her to get dressed, before feeding her some soup. After taking a short rest himself, he went into the front room where she had been resting to find his wife slumped head down. “She was already dead,” he said.

First for you know who

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Reminder to ignore doommong.

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Fuck doom nonce

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>nothing on the new death count in the OP

how could you fuck up this badly faggot?

>War-time food rationing will likely come into force 'in a matter of weeks' because relying on public to exercise shopping restraint during lockdown 'won't work', academic expert warns
dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8152137/Britain-braced-food-rationing-academic-expert-warns.html

>was breathless, she was vomiting and she had pains in her stomach
Doesn't sound like corona

lads I just want to taste her piss
just once

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i bet £40,000 every anonymous poster in this thread is a virgin

>Free parking, free pizza, priority shopping hours

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Karen'd

cooming was bad enough having to study in quarantine. My cocks going to fall off now that im free till september

>He smoked in high school to be "cool"

Looks like corona is coming for ya

PRESS F FOR LINDA LUSARDI.

F

MEMBER WEN DAILY MAILY SAID WE'D ALL DIE OF CORONAVIRUS

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exam cancellations are more important that heaps of boomer corpses

R8 pl8 m8s

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It's a terrible feeling; it's sounds juvenile but I wanted that more than many other things.
This is cringe and simpy but I wanted to be hers really, lol ;/

Last time I felt like this was when I found out that my gf cheated on me; again it is silly and makes no sense but since that I have become naive.

Daisyfag made it for me and its Moatyposter approved.

EEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNN
HHHHHAAAAAAAIIIICCCCCCHHHHHHHEEEE
EHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>niggers

there's no new death count for today
check the department of health twitter

im like a fucking lost wasp stinging the fuck out of everything i come across

>This is when I'm proud to be British. The calmness and brain power.

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>“She was already dead,”
Ah well, just one more

Are you a pikey. yes or no?

>listen here goy, the virus and resulting quarantine shows the inherent risks of the family unit
>with increased state powers now in place it’s for the best if we dismantle families
>and so the state and consumption will be the family and identity you need

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no you stupid fucking newfag virgin

>all the panic over 87 deaths yesterday
>the 50% decline day on day won't be mentioned at all because it isn't alarming enough for the media
honestly what are the odds they just counted some of today's deaths in yesterday's figures so they could get a scary single day figure?

or

worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/uk/

>captcha is taking the piss
>change it to audio captcha
>listen to words you're about to hear and enter them bla bla
>press play
>devilish sounding old woman saying "progress to pneumonia"
what the fuck lads are the mods fucking about or something

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I miss Eddie's streams, he's not streamed naked attraction in 2 days. I need my fix.

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-52041709

>Coronavirus victim, 21, 'had no health issues'
Who's willing to bet that they haven't even done an autopsy on her yet and just assumed it was the chinkflu and stuck with it?

Do you lads know Thomas Cole?

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The egg over the top is a little aesthetically displeasing and there's too much leek/green onion, but otherwise it looks good. Without being able to taste it, I'd give it a 7/10 - score reduced due to small portion size. Rice is artificially filling but without enough heavier foods behind it you'll end up only feeling full but later on hungry again due to needing more actual nutrition.

hope you get the shits so bad you shit yourself to death

post fit dogs

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did somebody say YOUUUUUUU KIPPPPPPP?????????

fucking this man somecunt stream something im dying

but your house looks like a shit heap, im standing outside.

Don't forget banning cash

>tfw mum works in a shitty NHS admin role but still gets access to all the free perks meant for the doctors and nurses
waheeey

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definitely

>>devilish sounding old woman saying "progress to pneumonia"

bruv what looool

chng.it/HtccfvLYTc
chng.it/HtccfvLYTc
chng.it/HtccfvLYTc

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plate looks a tad small but otherwise top stuff lad

Yes there is it's 43 new deaths today you retard nigger, announced in the last 20 minutes

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8153131/British-coronavirus-death-toll-rises-41-465-England-sees-28-fatalities.html

sounds like a LARP t b h kid

serioously though, seriously this is what made me laugh right, they said it would be a Virus, like a thing you can't see, right us country lads were like what that's a virus I can't see it. But is was there and seriously i was Pissing myself laughing and then i found out my Nan had got it..

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shadow banned

lost my virgin at 16
please order £40000 of toilet paper

doubt it virgin

bullshit you went to check you paranoid stoner lmao.

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>stoner
you're a fucking retard and i've been posting my address for years

You haven't got 40,000 to stake you fucking larping nonce

i actually somehow managed 3 girls in a weekend that summer
never been as chad as I was at 16

what is that dogger so smug about?

I prefer Diego Velazquez

>Daily death rate HALVES
Well done Are BoJo knew I wuz right to vote for ye

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why do you envy me???

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What you gonna do to that dog?

Turns out some random paki sounding person has completely plagiarised my coursework i have no idea even how

i know thats why im outside, your brown door.

hehe cute doggo

another day with no "recoveries" in the uk. we definitely have a deadlier strain of the virus. the CFR just keeps climbing.

yeah and i got sucked off by amy macdonald but none of you will believe me so i don't talk about because i can't prove you stupid virgin

cringe

>Download the Digidentity app to vertify your identity

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have you tried killing yourself?

the curve has flattened, this'll be over by Easter god bless jorris blumpfson

Dee Dee

here's some nice architecture to cheer up pastabro

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so many times u stupid newfag

30 more bongs deded

Have they said what is happening with exams?
Do people in school get to retake their year?

try harder

why should i

>work in a supermarket
>boomers coming in day in day out buying wine and making the same dumb jokes
>old people coming in buying a paper because they're lonely at home

i peaked at 12

he know he sexy

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this virus was started by ventilator manufactures to sell more ventilators

we need you to have an implant that will verify your identity and location

i have, i'm invincible mate why do you want me to die because i've had sex?

i recovered today you spastic

Boomerchad

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Learn to code
if you can already code, learn to knit
If you can get outside and buy knitting materials I guess

scottish unis said no exams for 1st and 2nd year, credits automatically given and continue to the next year as normal

Most old people are boomers these days. Don't believe their shit when they talk about the war.

Wtf pizza just flew over my house

based

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Knew you wouldn't have them, LARPcel

try even harder.
everyone wants you dead

R/neoliberal is a frankly bizarre subreddit of actually barmy people

start a stream bro

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>UK says half a million people file welfare claims

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Captcha is being a fucking deliberate mong today

>hurrr kill yourself because a handful of incels don't like you because you've had sex
lmao no hahahaha

fuck are you on about you mad fanny

>poetry criticism niggas be using words like 'jarring and unsettling' they be saying shit like 'universally real'
>like nigga what
>the only thing that's 'universally real' is my foot up your ass
>...universally real
>bitch i'll tell you what's jarring and unsettling is >your motherfucking choice of language
>jarring and unsettling
>...unbelievable

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i'd take 3 months of benefits over working 3 monhts

Is this going to be real life now?

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fucking hell

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Glad I applied years ago desu

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Did you see the episode where he got rejected? Me and Eddie were floored; "couldn't be done!" we thought.
Proven wrong.

The teacher will decide the grades for the students.

Thought yous were chatting shite about the 2nd episode, can't believe there's more of him

whats this ?

>because
no, just try and commit suicide regardless of what incels think.

It will be better user.
for you, those around you etc.
no one wants you around and desu you're a burden on those who feel like they have to care about you.

kill yourself - it's the best way.

i've missed both boomer episodes FFS

Ill rip off your balls and shove them up your arse so next time you shit you shit all over your balls!

lmao you're so mad i've had sex

>UK has most deaths next to China, Iran and italy

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no you wont you LARPing incel

why is brit/pol/ so full of non fighters who think they know how to fight

Bazza searched the continent
For the man who done in him
He found him in Mombasa
In a bar drinking gin

Paunch A.K.A norf simulator. A silly free game someone made and put on steam for keks

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Yeah some barmy Christian woman who talked about putting clotted cream up her snatch rejected him for some short, pudgey and handsy boomer. He was a Chad in his own right to be fair, felt her up while the film crew were at the date lol

"How well or badly do you think the government is handling the Coronavirus outbreak...?" (Changes since the previous poll)

Well: 70% (+11)
Badly: 27% (-4)


Yas Forums BTFO

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Numbers down for deaths are we winning with the lock down already?

Don't worry lad, the USA will outdo everyone.

gov.uk/guidance/high-consequence-infectious-diseases-hcid

Batter me, maul me.

Remember when that spaz Eddie larpingson failed to turn up for a fight.

I member.

Britpol members

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No it doesn't.

FUCKING BASED

youtube.com/watch?v=wRWCK9zGynA

you'd know?

can't be arsed anymore

we won't even see the effects of the lockdown for another 4-5 weeks.

Piers Morgan btfo

you forgot spain and france and USA for some reason

Good thing I got mine in early
4 years early

yeah i know

lol

Kek no it doesn't, you spastic.

This guy makes me cringe so hard

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Nah you never turn up more like you larping nonce

>what is france
>what is the USA
>what is spain

captcha is used to caption youtube vids, it's likely there's a lot of new coronavirus videos in youtube that are being captioned via captcha

Deaths down already lock down is 3 weeks y 3 weeks its will be no deaths

Let's not fuck about then
youtube.com/watch?v=lh0w01S7Jnk

Come to Birko lad, I'll lamp you everywhere you melodramatic bugger.

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China has more deaths than everyone.

IF you believe china, you are a brainlet

i've been posting my address for years you LARPing keyboard warrior

lefties FUMING

R ENHAITCHESS is literally the national religion

lol the grass and stuff looks really good and then the men look goofy

if i fart and nobody is in the room to smell it, have I farted?

you'd break your limp wrists just by having a go at a wing you massive fanny

That was quite funny

there was that time at balhama boatyard
and that time in the park with the newspaper

Tune m80

china is covering up 21 million+ deaths

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how you lads doing?

His comrades fought beside him
Big Gazza and the rest
But of all the thompson gunners
Bazza was the best

So the MI6 decided
They wanted Bazza dead
That son-of-a-bitch Big Gazza
Blew off Bazza's head

lads
youtube.com/watch?v=eZUQ2FdwIyY

my guess is she was a party girl who had a shit immune system

Bacl in the day it was all about Linda Lusardi, Emily Bouff, Theressa May, and Jo Guest, good times

there was that time with ur sister
and that time with ur bird on the phone

Never >> me again, understand?

Why havent I seen anyone getting shot for breaking curfew yet, fucking disappointing.

English scum! English scum!

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It'll turn out she had an undiagnosed heart issue or some shit I bet

Sorry, today is one of those days.
Do whatever u want with me

interesting. the percentages for the active cases don't match up with what we're seeing from the closed cases. the (((WHO))) and the (((CDC))) said that roughly 1/2 of the serious cases would die, but we're looking at 4x the total percentage of serious cases right now. something doesn't add up.

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Nice one lad

Her version goes very well with this video, I'm guessing you've already seen it though.

youtube.com/watch?v=jDGDw4GWcf4

at least she wasn't allowed to go outside though, government saving lives right here

>China is lying about their numbers and you're a mong if you believe them
>But I'm perfectly willing to believe without question this random chink spastic on Twatter saying 21 gorillion chinks are dead
It's somewhere in the middle, and believing either China or this chink makes you a mong.

Take your meds shizo.
If you believe kikes, you are a brainlet

Why aren't you dead yet?

police are enforcing it and can only issue fines

you're shiteing it

>Inuit
When did whites genocide Eskimos?

nothingburger cope

Amazing how Yas Forums used very weak numeric estimations to convince itself that China has managed to cover up 20 million people in the age of camera phones phones but holocaust is a lie despite all the historical and photographical evidence

...

Probably, wouldn't surprise me if she did a fuckton of coke on weekends.

if china can cover up 21 million dead then their control over international communications infrastructure is above and beyond anything id think was possible.

need tae shag a relative of every brit/pol/ poster before i go mate

Shout out to the bin men who came round earlier, good lads.
My mum also came round and threw me a pack of nestle pick&mix through my open window, so happy days all around.

>I'm guessing you've already seen it though.
yeah. great video, very moving. her cover is better than the original imo

British Canada maybe

>square
>2/10 (absolute maximum)

It's almost like orange boards are populated by the most low IQ people on Yas Forums

This is the rhythm of the night

That's debateable

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