AUS/POL/ Piss poor effort edition

more fucking censorship, yay

who here working from home?

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Fucking wish I was on Cenno before shit hit the fan. Gotta go in store to get my CRN, fuck that. Looks like no NeetBuxx for me :(

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So glad i decided not to be a lazy cunt and upload my sickness benefits certificate on Sunday night

>be me secret jannie death cult leader, channeling the power of censorship
>Chang underling whilst sending me the usual micro penis porn for my collection mentions "lots of work bad flu season"
>time passes Chang late with Nano-cock flicks
>news Chang dead...
>Master plan enters mind as i molest a hotpocket in frustration as its soft empty crust overwhelms my senses "nothing burger"
>activate covert project Ghebreyesus
>time skip
>be busy so much free time as there is no button cock films use sleeper jannies to hide disease from world leaders and ban pictures of full burgers from internet
>Activate order BOOM the NEET (disease censorship stops)
>economy tanks hundreds of thousands of boomers and normies fired
>NEETS foolishly gloat and send in shitpost shocktroops as boomers/normies flail unable to handle life outside wagie cage
>Activate order Now Kiss
>governments put everyone on welfare
>DDoS welfare websites blame Yas Forums/free internet
>NPC's Receives alert from McAfee "Harmful websites detected would you like to disconnect?"
>run out of hot pockets wade through used tissues and feces dragon dildo collection and open front door blinded by light and piss
>beaten to death with bumpstock ductaped to a club
>be dead and pooed on by man in frog costume who screeches "PEE PEE POO POO WITHOUT Yas Forums WE BOOGALOO"

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I don't get that helmet vid fags are seething over.

>OHNOOOOooOOOO not the heckin foreigners!!!

If you don't won't people getting shot don't send people with guns whose job it is to shoot people.

That cop should be hung for treason

Home made pepperoni pizza.

delish my nigga

based

If the service minister is to be believed, you won't have to. Good luck getting through on the phone though. It's just immediately ending the call once you get past all the automated BS

What the fuck is with these shitty threads?

SCOMO IS ABOUT TO TALK
youtube.com/watch?v=G-sCNxj2M2Mhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-sCNxj2M2Mhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-sCNxj2M2M

>One of you lazy neets should be doing this.
You don't understand us at all.

why do they keep saying you don’t need to go to a centrelink store or phone up when you clearly do

>I'm deeply disappointed that people are leaving their houses and congregating at Coles, as of midday two days from now ALL businesses will be closed to the public. And all Australians will be required to voluntarily submit a saliva, stool, and hair sample, along with their fingerprints, before they will be allowed to enter aforementioned businesses.
>This is for your own safety, but there is no need to panic. There will be no questions at this time.

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With so few deaths, that must mean that Australians are immune.

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pollies are dumb cunts that don't even understand the things they're in charge of. This shouldn't be news to anyone, especially after the bushfires.

jobs searches are suspended

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What happens with Work for the Dole?

Well I got a step towards that, got pigs called on me at coles.
Apparently wearing gloves with a hoodie up is enough to be worth police time.. Definitely not any other reason you'd want to be covering up at a time like this.

man wu flu has made me realise I 100% wouldve died in a world war if i was born in 1900.

This crisis is just so interesting to me and I definitely wouldve singed up for the war like a fkn idiot and died in a field in france

Some bogan fuckwit just nutted in his pants.

You do the same thing you were doing before, nothing.

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suspended until otherwise noted

watching the stream user?

1984 coming true before our eyes lads.

Don't know of a single person who has this virus. It obviously exists, but isn't as bad as SARS or swine flu. This hype and collapsing of the economy is totally manufactured. Biggest happening ever.

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Lockdown is happening

That's because you look like a cunt who's going to steal shit, wear something less bogan and people won't immediately assume you're a waste of air.

Fucking bullshit. I still have to do mine.
Yeah, so far it's good news for Australia. The only bad things is that we COULD run out of ventilators, we COULD run out of things.

That dumb cunt can fuck off, worst thing about Taz is the fucking mainlanders coming over and driving 30kph below the limit everywhere. Piss of ya wanker we don't want you over here.

It was great. Used three cheeses, made the pasta sauce from tomatoes I grew. Had the missus make the dough though. Women’s work.

When is lock down announcement?

dumb cunt

I'm a reservist and this is bullshit. I'm here shitposting and not on parade.

I simply messaged my CoC and said I'm not coming in because I have a family member with a suppressed immune system and im not taking the risk.

parade on Tuesdays is never compulsory.

So how is everyone actually getting toilet paper?

I’ve been to the shops like 3-4 times since this started and there’s been absolutely none anywhere

>manufactured
No, it's real/unplanned, just an over-reaction by the government, because everyone involved in decision-making are in the demographic the virus actually poses a thread to.

Hey look here, we got the fashion police coming down the runway!

You're a raging homo, you know that?

they said 9pm is that Queensland or southern cunts time?

wheres the i fingered hex guy at. shes streaming on twitch atm.

I think we will run out of ventilators. We have a touch over 2000 ICU beds, and only 1/4 of those have ventilators. You do the maths, even if only 5% of cases need a ventilator, we only need 10,000 cases to be overwhelmed. We're at 2000 already.

10mins or so

>disliked on principle.
Still gonna watch it, but fuck the ABC

>female
>technology reporter
defund the ABC

Chad dyel vs the virgin kebab

Hey, at least I get to go through life without have to constantly posture that I'm a tough cunt in $2 clothes.

Is Reserves managed at the federal or state level for deployment in civil emergencies?

haha time for triage
hope you don't have any elderly relatives.

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Congratulate Chinese daigou shoppers on profiting off this crisis and wipe ur arse with a t-shirt brother

>Still gonna watch
>Unrelated shit
STATEMENT WITHDRAWN