AUS/POL/ - CORONABUX EDITION

HOW THE FUCK DO I GET INTO MYGOV I HAVE BEEN f5ING ALL DAY CUNT

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Looks like you printed that out ping pong

How long until we have to stay at home?

It's Aussie Joe Zipperhead

what's wrong with your eyes? are you sick or something?

Hate this shithole.

I hear some brothels are closing. I might still go get a Rnt now and then. Usually I pay $50 for the massage and $50 tip for nude body to body and handjob.

Australia has too many people and nobody gives a fuck if half of them die off ESPECIALLY if it's those granny fucks who keep begging for more immigrant slaves

thoughts on ScoMo's Corona-chan response so far lads?

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when we pass 3000 cases by this weekend

Three weeks tops.

Try again.

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The servers will be getting hammered, literally wait. I wouldn't bother for a while, even if you got in every single time you needed to load a new thing it would take ages.

Heading down the right track.

Try at 2-3 in the morning

Considering running out and buying a gaming computer or console

If I am going to be locked up I need something

Right here. Fucking cant for the boomers and chinks to die off from this virus so housing finally becomes affordable near the beach.

>west side for life

The eyes dont lie.

Its going to be at least that. House prices finally going to tank too.

Everywhere i go in sydney now i get comments from white folk about asians and how there are too many of them. All the asians have a nervous look on their faces.

Get ready for the rising nationalist sentiment when wipepo have to compete with diversity for whatever shitty jobs are left in 6 months.

Not convinced, show DNA test.

someone post the money printing gif

Should've acted earlier. The fucking Norks are dabbing on everyone

>gaming computer

Pc case gear has a 449 bundle if you can put it together yourself

>reposting
retail was in the middle of its death rattle before all this shit overwhelmed us, now every greedy wannabe tycoon is crying victim and want to take huge advantage of the business and corporate bail outs by demanding 500 billion gorillion trajillion bajillion dollars to save their luggage and vacuum shops. what's the fucking point if the chicken bone of severance to the people is barely enough to cover every cunt that just lose their job, they've been reduced to a state of financial uncertainty so no one is going to go out and CONSOOM like the government just assumes they will. utterly fucking pointless to bail out industries that had historically low consumer confidence to begin with. bailing out the airlines last week is just a big fucking joke. $105 billion bail out to banks to give out loans is just plain fucking offensive but i guess scomo's gotta keep that property bubble inflated somehow.

Needs more stimulus. I want more than this measly $1500.

They can't lock us inside even uk isn't doing that yet

Scared rabbit in the headlights. How most politicians should be considering the terrifying threat of losing 100k voters in a year.

We should be fining people. We should have the Army building triages. We should be arresting and forcing Covid patients into living together.

They should be nervous and ashamed

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Anyone know if I should walk around outside or will I get screamed at by a Karen

>Not even $300 a week

Get on my level newstart newfag

Gas the chinks

Why don't these people know about the secret gibs? I'm almost twice that even before all this

I quit my $3k a month full time call centre job, now I earn a little $2k a month being a NEET. Life's good

Terrible
Martial law should have been enacted a week ago with the army delivering rations to homes

yeah I told you all to register a home phone number as your main contact, you get an extra 40 bucks for paying the home phone line every 3 months for nothing

what secret gibs you mean lying about having to pay rent so you can get an extra 80 bucks rent assistance?

has only prioritised big business, banks and housing market so he can go fuck himself. he and the perpetuation of the real estate ponzi scheme that legitimises liberal party's power must crash and there's no better time for it to do so.

just hit 2000 cases

24/03/2020 4pm

Total 2,008

Today 292

Deaths 8 (+1)

Recovered 118

NSW 818 (+114)
VIC 411 (+56)
QLD 397 (+78)
SA 170 (+36)
WA 140
ACT 39 (+7)
TAS 28
NT 5 (+1)

thanks mate

i did a shop down iga west ipswich this morning at five am and nobody was there cause they was all sleeping in for the centerlinks. i got two kilos of mince and pasta and bacon and cheese

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There are a lot more than that, I get 854

the virus doesn't exist, they could announce that the entire population of australia has it and they'll be none the wiser.

Walk around outside and cough a lot
Then look at the horror on all the faces

>NSW planning to release 14,000 prisoners.
What could possibly go wrong?

No, you're a chink with a piece of paper that's going to mean absolutely fucking nothing when I come to raid your supplies and eat your kind in a few weeks/months. You best prepare chink, work out and make your muscles bigger for me. I want the challenge and more to eat when I win.

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link me sir

8 deaths? What a fucking joke

>you only have to apply for 4 jobs a month user.
>my gov says 20 jobs.
what the fuck do I do?

nah he probably means the disability pension but applying for stress leave from looking for work has been enough for me. I re-apply for stress leave every 3months. been doing it for 10years+. the rest of my time involves walking dogs and painting houses for cash on the side.

I will die before I become a net tax asset. That's how it's supposed to be.

Wait until they actually update your job search requirements.

pccasegear.com/bundle/200151/asus-prime-2600-gaming-bundle

>doesn't know that you can upload your resume to websites and count it as an attempt.

alternatively, there's stress leave.

Takes 20 minutes, just spam your resume to a bunch of employers on SEEK

what's the suicide rate gonna peak at through all of this?

No longer mandatory to do so

What happens to work for the dole?

SLAUGHTER
CHINKS
INDISCRIMINATELY

it's gone, suspended, probably forever

It's been cancelled

quietly taken out as it should have been. never should have existed in the first place.

Don't you still have to buy graphics card and shits?

>Being this new to the gibs

It's not possible to lie as you are required to provide rent receipts, even if you decided to that would be welfare fraud and they would catch on eventually and you'd be fucked.

Me personally, I'm on a cool $750/fortnight and live in a nice comfy part of town by myself, I don't go without anything. That's not including the incoming X2 power up + the $750 bonus unlocks.

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>probably forever

Fucking thank god, I went out with crazy chicks I met at work for the dole and they all want me to be a step dad and scream at the tv when the tennis is on

Any links to this being said?

So my retard boss transferred me $2k instead of $200 (im only on casual and working jack all hours because of the shut down). He called and wants me to transfer the difference back.
The problem is I won't get my Scomobux now because my TFN will register I got "paid" $2k this week.
Should I just keep it anyway and block my boss' number? He has my address.

Who cares if a few percentage of the elderly and sickly die from a virus? That's nature's way.

I was about to start an internship but it got cancelled because of coronavirus, so I'm currently without work.
My parents earn enough that I've never been eligible for youth allowance
I paid tax in the last financial year
Am I eligible for any coronabux?

Yes but don't buy bundles with one included they never discount them very much you are better buying seperate. If you want cheaper try an older xeon bundle

Yes, graphics card and suitable PSU (probably 600W+)

this ^
what the fuck?

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they split up the girls and boys at the op shop I was at, were they good roots though?

>gaming pc

No graphics card, no power supply, no case, no monitor and no keyboard or mouse. You're fucking retarded.

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Australian third party position when? There are no fucking alternatives to the globohomo. When the fuck are we getting off the Chan and start making political moves?

they'll call the cops, it's a crime if you dont give it back. ask him to update the ATO/mygov with the correct amount or listed on your pay slip

not worth risking it for such a small amount of cash

send it back, we're about to enter the age of privately hired paramilitary death squads to solve personal debts.

Based NRL and Aus League 1. Thanks for playing boys.

It was meant to be work for the dole not root for the dole.

transfer it back, not worth the hassle

You're parents are eligible for maintaining your privilege faggot. Go back on the teat

Chinks dont feel shame.

Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize you had to buy fucking everything from scratch. Go on gumtree then this deal isn't bad

My JA provider wants me to do some course on monday, will they care if I don't go? They've already paid $400 for it.

airbnb boomers just got fucking raped

twitter.com/Airbnb/status/1238912532691259395

the usual suspects

>were they good roots though?

Hilarious bad, one told me I was a nice guy for not sticking it in her when she was passed out.
One tried to take me out for dinner as a treat and then told me to run for the door after and not pay. I had to pay 70 bucks

ahh good, finally the property hoarders are feeling the pain of this frail house of cards we call an economy.

The comment section is an absolute boomer salt mine. top kek

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>
block the asshole he did it on purpose so you're stuck under his wing

those comments are glorious m8

yeah they sound fucked and only want to fuck drug dealers

I was literally applying for jobs as an anesthetist and other high level positions in the medical field all over the country and it still counted. I even eventually admitted it to my job provider out of frustration as there were never 20 jobs near me that were available, let alone jobs I qualified for, and I had to use their job search site. She didn't care and even commended me for thinking outside of the box.

REEEEEE I WANT MY NEETBUX

WHEN WILL MYGOV BE UP AGAIN

>They changed a policy for us without our permission. These were contracts with our guests. @airbnb
had no right to change them. I’ve lost $4000 so far. We have bills to pay too! 100% of the cost shouldn’t be on the hosts!

>I’ve lost thousands of dollars today and yesterday as admin cancelled all my bookings giving full refunds. No consideration for hosts and their mortgage payments. All about the guests

There's gotta be a German word for this feel.

You know there is just say it

They haven't paid anything for it. Its a government scheme and no money was changed hands. Call in sick with the shaghai shivers, get a note from your doctor.

absolute NaCl mine

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AirBnb was supposed to be a way for people to make a bit of money for a spare room, not for boomers to run unregulated hotels
Fuck them

apparently airbnb kept the service fee? if so that's even more fucking perfect

how do these 'hosts' lose $5000 in one day just for not having someone stay? it's not losing the money you still have vacant property, you just dont have a booking. thats not losing any money. thats not getting any money.

Any actual announcements on work for the dole? or lock downs and shit?

Those old piece of shit servers are melting from their own heat as we speak.

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google.com

>NOOOO M-MUH MORTGAGE M-MUH INVESTMENTS
So basically the greedy cunts want money for nothing now?

this
I need to lodge my form online and all you thirsty newneets are fucking up the system

>Any actual announcements on work for the dole?

Don't worry about work for the dole, it doesn't kick out of you JSA system to centrelink unless they let it. It's just a scare tactic

When bux first come in it feels like a dream free money can’t be real but it is very real Like you jumped off a cliff and got caught by an angel

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>US entertainment giant Netflix will reduce the data its streaming service in Australia consumes in a bid to reduce broadband congestion as mobile and internet providers struggle to cope with rising demand from people stuck at home.

thank god for the NBN. Netflix is going SD only, YouTube following up shortly to SD only.

Some boomers use leverage, negative gearing, etc. to run airbnb properties

I think in 6 to 12 months time is going to be a good time to buy a house.
I would not be surprised that some Asians go back to China, and boomers will lose their shirts and be forced to sell.

>I need to lodge my form online

I'm glad I got through, I stayed on after the mygov went down entirely and just kept refreshing

Jesus Christ lol

how old are you? if you're 22 and above it doesnt matter how much your parents earn

Both Nicola Spurrier and that government minister looked unusually worried at that press conference in Adelaide

I know this was the first mention of community transmission but Spurrier was flustered, and she's usually really composed

Imagine paying extra for HD streaming only for it to be capped to 360p lmao