CORONA UNEMPLOYMENT THREAD

Fuckers won’t lay me off

yeah I'm an "essential" amazon wagie

> t. American Congressman here. I don't see what the big deal is

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>electrician
Pretty safe m8

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JUST LOST MY JOB AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IM FUCKING DYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGG

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My Jewish bosses over in 'Murrica ended my contract because planes aren't fucking flying. I was working from home this morning (very comfy) and I got the call from the manager of my company.

Corona-chan was supposed to kill chinks and niggers, but here I am fixing my resume once again. Fuck chinks, fuck jews, fuck Venezuela, fuck my eunuch president, just fuck eveything mate.

Sup bro, sorry to hear that. Planes and turbine engines aren't good business right now.

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>programming chad here still making 500k a year
LOL no you don't. Stop lying.

I’m an essential kike. Will I be laid off?

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Double time overtime virtually every day if I want it. Essential worker.

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Embrace the neet life.

I only have to go into work once over the next 3 weeks and I will continue to be paid as normal.

Since I can't work from home, I'm basically getting paid to do nothing.

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We all work healthcare at my place kek, we all got raises

there is 78% unemployment right now.

how will trump shift blame/cope with this for 2020?

u stoopid nigga

Got laid off today and my mother in law moved in with us to get out of the city, but she brought her boomer bucks with her so I guess it's okay.

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>shift blame/cope
Trump didn't shut down the economy, a bunch of pseudo-intellectual wannabe tyrant governors did that.

arby's cashier chad here still making 500k a year

damn bro how did you get there? just factory assembly stuff? did you need to get a degree/certificate?

>arby's cashier chad here still making 500k a year
NEETbux welfare queen here, just got my 30k monthly check.

I can't wait to see boomers reeing over losing all their savings

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based easy rider

tech bro in sales here. all gravy on this train, probably getting a raise soon.

Yes. The Jews love me

I'm helping ship your Amazon orders so you faggots better me nice to me or I'm putting heavy boxes on top of your shit.

I'm a STEM Chad so I have nothing to worry about but my girlfriend works as a fast food employee, y'all think she's gonna lose her job?

The COVID-19 PCR tests are for genes that if found individually result in a negative test, but found together result in a positive test. So one false positive is negative, but two false positives makes it positive. How accurate are these tests? We have no reference to know if someone recieves a false positive, or if the tests are accurate. No one can be sure they have the virus. 86% of infected never show symptoms. It's just like the HIV/AIDS hoax!

The chances of a virus mutating across species is ZERO, and across multiple species even less. It has never happened, never will happen, and never could happen. The only way humans can get a virus or flu from another species is if it is injected into them, period. And the chances of it going across species multiple times? It can not happen, ever. Dogs, cats, sheep, pigs, and others have tested positive for this COVID-19. It's 100% impossible. All signs point to the testing being false positive. How many times are we going to fall for this?

It's exactly like the HIV hoax. West Nile, SARS, AIDS, and Hepatitis C are all invented by the CDC and WHO. The testing is even similar to HIV, which is fake. The statistics make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

Watch this documentary House of Numbers on how the CDC and world governments invented the AIDS epidemic out of nowhere: youtu.be/BsT4GrimfLQ

Thousands of people died to the h1n1 vaccine. The spanish flu was created by vaccinations. All viruses are symbiotic in that they detoxify the body to prevent aging, especially in the respiratory system. They have been evolving with us for billions of years. They are manufactured within the cells. They are not foreign invaders that hijack your cells. That is fantasy. They are as much a part of us as our immune system. We have never proven viral infections are contagious. ANY deadly virus is either man-made or made-up.

Do NOT get tested. Do NOT take any drugs they give you. And for the love of jesus christ DO NOT GET VACCINATED.

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Ching Chong ringaling Ming bong fuck u

>45 million Americans will be laid off today, are you still safe?
So far, yes.

youtube.com/watch?v=xHYvpXe75b8

45 gorillion????

viruses can mutate at any time and any point in any of their processes bud

The company I'm working for just announced a hiring freeze and pay increase freeze. I've been here just over a year and have not gotten a raise during that time. Damn these capitalist kikes.

I was working on/off. Today I was told I would be on full paid leave until the gaming commission allows casinos to open again. i feel blessed and grateful. i took out a loan a week in advance because i had a hunch that shit was going to hit the fan back then. i'm good. sucks for those trying to file for unemployment in my state. i hear every other person is waiting all day to talk to an unemployment officer only to be turned down or hung up on. it's a crap shoot whether you're going to get unemployment pay or not. shit is fucking crazy.

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Vegas is going to be hit hard as fuck when no one has money for a gambling vacation in 2 months.

Yea so all those genes are going to mutate to perfectly fit human DNA? Never could happen.

i am furloughed because the jew illinois governor shut everyone down
then they decided to do nothing to increase the ability to handle unemployment claims

I am.....strangely

My state is quickly reporting more and more cases every day

>Work at the cell phone kiosk inside Costco
>Not a Costco employee
>Regular worker at a single location, not just a vendor
>Phone stores in area close
>Costco stops sampling
>Costco limits amount of people in warehouse at once
>Roadshow retailers are gone(massage chair, meme workout machines, cutco, etc.)
>Sales have slumped
>Many of our locations have been cutting hours.
>For some reason Im still here and open
>Get paid $16/hr plus commission to stand here and do nothing all day

Doubt we will get laid off but I feel like if my state goes to in home lockdown like CA and NY then I might still be open

However, one of my coworkers is at the doctor today and taking the week off because he has a bad flu. Says he's being tested but we won't know the results for a few days

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Can people pay their bills at your location?
One thing I'm counting on for my stock portfolio is telecom and tobacco. Even with this shit going on, people still have to pay their bills and buy their smokes.

That means I have a better chance to ship the WSOP main.

Honestly just biding my time. I feel it coming bros. Idk what to do. I moved to the west coast to do engineering. Cant even see my senpai at the east coast if I lose my job

>is telecom and tobacco
Online education, teleconferencing, delivery services like uber eats, biomed, etc.

>quit last week
>probably going to get rehired next week
private security lmao

I'm making bank of Boeing, up 15% my investment today

Thank you for sending me the 10 bottles of onahole lube I ordered

I can take a card payment for Verizon. But only on consumer accounts. Can't do anything for small business accounts besides upgrades and have no access to major business accounts.

Pay stubs or GTFO

The pain will never go away.

good, fuck wagies

Lads I am a Commercial Finance Analyst in one of the world’s top 10 car manufacturer.

March was supposed to be our biggest month of the year but we have lost about £30m in bottom line profit because of Coronavirus this month.

How fucked am I?

>How fucked am I?
how is your relationship with your Partner?