Hey Yas Forums, I’m an assistant to a prominent US senator. Everyone in my office was making fun of this site all week and I finally decided to check it out. FUCK, this is more cringe than actual Reddit. In fact, it’s like Reddit but for literal nerds. And not the cute kind of nerds chicks are into, more like dorks I guess. As a USA insider, I have to say, not a single bizarre conspiracy theory you guys come up with is accurate, not even close. Your “/cvg/ general” Is literally being posted by two mother fucking retards (I had the posters identified, took 3 minutes) that are battling to have the most comments, which is crazy to me because this board is semi-anonymous so why would they even give a fuck? Anywho, the reason I’m here is because why do you guys like to larp sooo hard and pretend you hate blacks and Jews? Idgaf about the racism & bigotry but I’m perplexed as to why you spend soo much time here? From my research I’ve deduced the Yas Forums demographic to 3 types:
-1 Dad with too many kids (has nothing else to do and can shitpost from phone while he hides in the bathroom)
-2 stay at home neet, literally has nothing better going on in life
-3 the “simps”, literally everyone else is a simp that thinks they found an obscure message board trading underground information.
This is so pathetic either way you look at it! Hahahaha, anyways. Peace out faggots, first and last time I come here, this is literally garbage tier information you should all be embarrassed of yourselves but I’m sure you already are which is why you’re here. Makes you think...
Also, pic related actually did kill himself and I have the video it’s just too gruesome to go Public so the authorities decided to “lose the security footage”, it’s really that simple.
Too much board knowledge and correct board terminology to be taken seriously. Fuck off, larper
Luke Taylor
>being this insecure...
Isaiah Evans
Hey Faggots, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash).
Your post definitely sounds like authentic English written by a native speaker. No doubt
Kevin Campbell
>haha anyways peace out faggots
im still looking for who the fuck asked and im still wondering why u made this post before u,"peace the fuck out lol"
just leave noone care about you user not even your own family. why dont you exploit some more niggers after u clock in tomorrow or do something else useful
Joshua Bell
>insider here lol I'm inside your mother's vagina right now, what do you have to say about that?
The level of same flagging, again, epitomizes this boards “culture”
I’d reply to everyone else but what’s the fucking point of telling the same 5 people how cringe their lives are? You already know.
Actually, I admit there is a lot of humor here. It’s fucking hilarious, the only reason I’m still lurking.
>inb4 “oh faggot tranny jewish guy u r still here HA HA”
It honest takes zero effort to keep an extra tab open in the browser, don’t feel too special because “muh 3 posts by ID”
Unironically lulz or “top kek”.
Hah I’ll prob get quads on this one.
Leo Garcia
Fuck off to reddit kike.
David Wright
this is the most cringe post ive ever read on this board and i ONLY post cringe
Carter Myers
darn it 9 away from Tripp’s Ok I’ll delete this post and try again on a different vpn until I finally get digits.
Lmao
“Ok new meme flag”
Lucas Rivera
kek quality cingeposting m8
Caleb Anderson
There is no way you’re an assistant suck nigger cock you mega faggot 9000 v8 2 door dickhead
Jaxson Robinson
I doubt it, you suck, fuck off libtards
Cooper Perry
O-ok then what would you suggest where we should get our info from? Serious question
Jackson Parker
This reinforces everything I’ve said. I really wish I could respond with three crying-laughing emojis but ya’ll are literally too autistic to interpret facial expressions accurately.
Luke Myers
You must be a shit assistant if you are wasting your time here
Noah Gray
Holy fuck is this a serious question?
Ok, so you don’t trust the media “muh fake news”? Am I right?
Why don’t you actually research things you want to know? Nobody reads a doctor’s journal and starts parroting medical knowledge... but all you mother fuckers read obscure news sources and compare it to mainstream media, and WOW you find discrepancies! Holy shit mind blow! Lmao
What’s worse is you guys start spreading UNIRONICALLY & LITERALLY FAKE NEWS when in reality all the available information is out there, you just choose to take a twitter post as fact and construe it with other garbage information.
Anthony Richardson
Open a tab on this thread on your phone.
Go about your life.
HOLY FUCK THAT TOOK SO MUCH TIME TO COME BACK AND HOT “refresh”
lmao this board is fucking cringe
> “Hippie” meme flag
Josiah Ross
You’re either being honest, and are an assistant to a pedo insider trader “public servant” who will be crushed by a future scandal and you’ll fail to escape the stench of pedo-victim years later. Or, you’re a faggot LARP’ing as a double faggot
Joshua Robinson
Lurk a while longer you Reddit spacing faggot, you'll learn to spot the difference between someone who actually belongs here and the 2016 schizo boomers. Hell, hang out long enough and you'll see why this place is constantly astroturfed by double digits iq mongoloids like you
Sebastian Gonzalez
Can we please stop being mean to each other
Liam Nelson
Literally everything that ever becomes news eventually, can be read here first days to weeks earlier. You need to lurk more.
Ayden Ortiz
So what do you suggest, read reports from actual doctors? There's nowhere to get such information from
Lincoln Rivera
Homie, if you throw infinite darts at a dart board you’ll eventually hit a bullseye.
Ayden Bailey
Hmm maybe contact a doctor irl? You faggots literally are the most spoon fed individuals leaching off of eachother, perpetuating nonsense and cheering eachother on. Spoon fed in the sense, non of you are journalists yet you all constantly criticize journalism. Yes I’m talking about the act of literally walking outside and talking to real people to get real information (journalism). You’re all fucking dumb it’s just funny, sorry to keep ranting about you. :D
Ps. I guarantee none of you are actually racist and would feel really really bad if you’re friends and or family saw the things you talk about on here.
Luke Jackson
>Homie
You’re a massive faggot with Corona aids and someday you’ll look back and realize that idly shitposting was preferable to wasting years sucking bureaucrat pizza dicks for $40k a year.
Jacob Kelly
> corona aids
tl;dr
Michael Roberts
>still a faggot
Good
Henry Watson
You suck at this.
Henry Gutierrez
Congrats on the new pasta.
Matthew Cooper
You really have the audacity to call someone a "dork" and you use the word "Anywho"... ?
Leo Fisher
>"Hanging by bedsheet" is "too gruesome to go public" yeah sure nice LARP, try again next time.
Do you understand how many people “kys” in the world each day? And I’m not talking about nobodies, there are 1,000s of prominent members of society that off themselves yearly. Do you expect each story to make news?
What really irritates me is that you guys are so fucking shallow, you completely miss all the actual conspiracies and instead focus on the things every normie see’s because that what you all are, literal normies.
Do some actual journalism, get outside and discover information instead of reposting twitter posts from wannabe Illuminati.
Oh and here’s a real tip: Tom Hanks son (I won’t mention his name for obvious reasons) is literally a dumb fucking guy. To even associate his name with one of the cooler conspiracy threories going on here is giving him ALOT of fucking credit. Hmmm, I wonder if all the shitposting about him was from somebody close.. or maybe, I don’t know, himself?
