QUICK LADS, what handheld weapon should I order?

Kinda fucked up that you guys invented a bunch of cool medieval weapons but you're not allowed to have any because your govt is a bunch of fags.

maybe something with more reach

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I’m going for a spear because you can’t get close to me without a gun

If you’re unarmed and I have spear
I win automatically

Only 10 x more than buying it direct from china.

Get a machete, you can actually use it later to clear a garden. You could also just buy a gun with a loicense in the UK. There's also a garden tool in the States we call a ditch blade. Also useful for getting sharp edges in a garden, has polearm reach as an added bonus. Most martial weapons were derivatives of garden tools.

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The absolute state of bongland

just buy a piece of pipe the size of a baton from home depot and go for the side of their knees to cripple their movement

unless you thrust and miss
then now they are hands free between you and the spear
thats why spearwalls had something special
>more dudes
>more spears
>mass shields powered by killing arms
good stiletto oughta do ya

its illegal in bongland

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>that flag
>weapon
don't you wish the men of your country hadn't sucked so much dick that it fucked up their minds and forced them to hand over the guns?

a fucking sword retard

Machete

Tape kitchen knife to broom handle. You now have spear.

Take a bandana and tie several knots in one end. On the untied end slip a very large socket down it, or a locked lock. You will beat the shit out of someone with that and still have your $200 bucks. I would rather use a large stick shaved down to a club shape than that shitty shovel. Or just buy something like a small estwing pick axe, ball hammer fucking anything is better than that shovel man. I know you guys are cucked but do you not have hardware stores?
You live in the US are you fucking kidding me?

spear doesnt work indoors but other than that yeah good choice

If you're intending it for Hiking/camping you're better off just using a regular garden trowel. Light, small, fits in pack, and you aint gonna be burying poop 6 ft deep. Also doesn't cost a small fortune.

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bleach and ammonia

fill them in a big container and spray people

Jesus, $200 Federal Memebucks will get you a Mossberg 500/Remington 870

>attempting buying illegal assault shovels in bong land

Reported

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE A LITERAL STICK IS A MORE EFFECTIVE WEAPON

That thing is a multi purpose inna woods survival tool first and a weapon dead-ass last.

thousands of years of melee combat experience from thousands of nations culminated in the halberd / poleaxe

this weapon is superior to all other striking weapons

I know you lads have to jump through hoops to get actual guns over there but what about a .50 cal airgun?

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Can you even legally own one of these in your shithole?

Never felt so much like shit. I live in an area what is about 60% foreign, mostly Asian/Black because I'm poor. And I have no means to defend myself from the savages that roam outside.

I've never felt so angry at the government and the British people in general because the British people are fucking cucks. You mutts are right about us.

>took the picture a few days ago. My miserable life

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$200 for a fucking micro-shovel...

large hammer.

$30 gerber folding shovel will last a lot longer. $30 folding saws can be pretty good. A decent pack knife is like $15 am I missing anything else? This thing is overpriced chinese garbage My step mother is from the UK. When this shit blows over just leave and come over, some of you crumpet niggers aren't the worst.

In your cuck nation I'd get a solid hickory walking stick and a good trench shovel. Both can be used as a weapon but aren't really seen as one. Start walking with a slight and fake limp to make it believable

I just bought pic related, very affordable but ammo is getting picked over. It will get here sometime, I have others already.

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Just had an idea lads. I could invent/buy some legal self-defense hand held weapons and sell them during this virus crisis

keepshooting.com/german-tri-fold-shovel-nato.html
Get something like that. It's a small shovel that can also double as a gardening too. Something I remember about bong law was that if you kill an intruder with something laying around your house the judge might let you go but if you kill them with a weapon they will try you for murder. At least a tool like an entrenching shovel could be claimed that you own it for your garden while a spear would get you locked up.

stormthecastle.com/how-to-make-a/medieval-flail/how-to-make-a-medieval-flail.htm

Homemade stuff is your best bet

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Is that a harpoon and a garrote?

Hmm just Googled the gerber shovel. Seems decent but a little small. I'll think it over as I guess it's better than nothing

Buy a good spear you faggot

a regular shovel would make a better weapon in almost every way

fine, mix bleach and vinegar first then throw in the ammonia.
Use one of those long things they spray plants with.

That'd count as a firearm.
You can get a shotgun loicense without the "valid reason" you need for a firearms loicense, which will be awkward to get if the gun clubs near you are all full to the brim and can't give you a recommendation this side of 2021

this will kill you if you inhale the fumes
thanks jewberg kikestein ben fbi

Lmao you're an idiot. They're meme shovels.

Bow and arrow. EZ food and also gives you range. Crossbow maybe but I don't know your licence faggot practices on that.

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Are you hitting people with your swords and spears to not kill them? toughen up faggot.

>£200 for chinesium garbage
Just spend £30 and get a surplus e-tool that folds. It can still be used as a weapon and its sturdy

Flails have a 25% damage bonus against shields too

There was a medieval weapon called a goedendag or something. A club with a spike. You can make one with wood, epoxy, and a roof punch.

Calm down Raskolnikov

Sturdy hammer you can brain somebody with

Is that the chink 981?

Crossbows are fine, for the money OP's throwing out there you can get a repeating lever-action 130lb crossbow.

How bro? The prohibition on automatic weapons is really a nod and a wink, you just need to have the know-how to make your own burst fire and fully automatic weapons. I can understand your police harassing niggers and taking shit from them, but why do white men need to worry about that?

Keep it simple. Do not buy otaku autist overpriced shit. Even a stick can be useful and it`s enough.Or just buy some air gun.

The wasteland will be littered with faggots like OP. Wtf even is this

The Glock shovel is cheaper and probably better.