CORONA UNEMPLOYMENT THREAD

Permanent solution for a temporary problem, bro. Hang in there, I assure you that you don't want to miss the madness when shit hits the fan.

No, but I pray that the firm partners use Kung Flu as an excuse to fire the two worthless millennials who I have to babysit on a regular basis. For several years, my dream was to make six figures will working from home. Now that Kung Flu has turned my dream into reality, it's not as great as I thought it would be.

cant get laid off if you never had a job to begin with

China has bigger problems, I hear...

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chances are you will be laid off instead

>tfw no job so I won't be laid off and thereby get all the comfy unemployment gibs
fuck my life

This corona shit must be the best thing to have ever happened to all you wagies

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Based leaf.

Who else /essentialjob/ in here?

Nope. I am essential personnel.

Why are you using that socket on that gun? You probably shouldn't be working in that profession...

Nigga I ain't never no job lmao

I haven't been laid off but I'm essentially unemployed
I work at a gym that's shut down until this is done

I got a 25% raise two months ago because I line the partners' pockets with profits. They need good earners to make up for the worthless turds they employ.

Nope. Suck my dick slaves. I’m in a Cush job feeding the elderly.

Weirdly yeah. I'm at home living like a kid on summer vacation.

I am until my hotel decides to turn my workplace into a field hospital never to have workers ever return after the fact because nobody is going to properly disinfect shit.

Wagies get the last laugh while neets die in streets

I have work contracting in delivery with home infusion pharmacy so while no lock-downs in this region if they begin I should be able to continue to travel as pretty sure pharmacy is essential and people getting IV treatment at home will be able to continue getting their deliveries.

Apparently we are essential even though most of my day is spent sitting on ass and watching monkey torture videos.

im hoping im low enough on the totem pole to note be fired. i do due diligence, physically do the site visits and reports. higher ups are the ones that do proposals, get projects, and review reports. assuming the company doesnt want to just burn everything, i dont think i can be "fired", though a furlow may occur once my current workload is finished

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>25% raise two months ago
you just made yourself high cost so you are now first on the chopping block

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Yep. Gonna sit back and collect unemployment and wait for my free Trumpbux too.

I want it to shatter

I pump gas and I am considered essential lmao

Hang in there for the crazy that’s going to come. The next 20 years are going to be fucking off the wall

That would be true if the worthless turds could do my job as efficiently and effectively as me or if the partners could find another competent CPA to replace me at a lower cost, but that isn't the case. If anything, they'll use Kung Flu as an excuse to cut loose the worthless turds who've been given more than enough time to become competent auditors and failed miserably.

>tfw now everyone gets to live like me but they get paid to do it instead of just fathers scorn and Fortune's abuse

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So far im essential. If this lasts as long as they are saying, the whole company might go under.

Keeping positive thoughts tho

What the fuck? People still do that?

In NJ you are not allowed to self serve

In NJ you're not allowed to pump your own gas

For most service industries, many of the hourly workers will get laid off and the salaried managers will be expected to pick up the slack and work themselves to death. That's what happened in 2008 when I was working in the hotel industry.

Work for a hotel chain. Department went from 800 people to 50 in the past 2 weeks. I'm still employed. The trick in these times to be actually useful. Get a job and get off the internet you losers. Contribute to society for once.

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I’ve been one of them since Monday, 8 week ban on my industry in this faggot state (CO).

>Get a job and get off the internet you losers
Why? Neet all over the angeloshpere get free money now.

I just want to hurry and get a job so I can get fired once the epidemic truly hits Sweden.

I do medical coding/billing (mostly shitpost) and I’m not going anywhere brehs.

>CPA
lmao oh that's why you're such a faggot. have you ever thought of a real career where you actually produce something of value?

grocery should still be hiring?

yeah, we'll see. im salaried consultant and company offered a bonus if you use up your vacation time. could get five vacation days if i use four. as of yseterday, everything was still voluntary, and i think the slower offices across the country were taking use of it. my projects are due on friday, so dunno if ill get any new projects by then.

No, I work in distressed debt and will be busier than ever.

Y'all got handlers too?

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I quit my job about 8 months ago. I've been bumming off of my parents.

In some countries unions have this business all rigged up, if you want to open a gas station you have to hire attendants. It's probably the same thing in some states in the US.

I work at whole foods Beverly Hills, I'm essential.

I'm an engineer at a medical device company. Medical device companies are among those exempt from lockdown orders. Additionally I can do a majority of my work from home.

Nope, I am being employed at a supermarket because they need more staff to keep up with demand.

Get that dirty ass harbor freight piece of shit off those seats and take that damn tire off. No reason for this thats my car and im in the waiting room.

still working construction. thing is, someone's gotta be paying taxes these days. might as well be the ~100k tradesmen making 6 figure incomes might have another few weeks. whatever I'm riding it out. I'll be afraid to go to work when thousands start dying. nevermind like 3.

how bad is inflation in NZ?

Got fired from my last job in 2018. I realised that zero interest rate policy made it incredibly stupid to work for a living, so i moved back in with my mom and leech off her trust fund.

There is no point in working if you cant get ahead. I'd rather die than spend 60 hours a week busting my hump for scholmo only to fork most of it over to a boomer landlord.

Probably. I got Friday off for no reason. Millions of unemployed disenfranchised males...this gon be gud.

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No idea. Cost of living is already normally high, not sure how much the virus situation will influence it.

Job is easy as fuck and we are getting a raise to work in this so im getting 16 bucks an hour to pump gas lmao

Laid off yesterday

I have income real estate that is 100% based on tourism. So I'm fucked until the sheep get back in air planes and start spending tourist bucks. Every industry related to tourism is effectively dead until the MSM tells people the scary monster is gone. It could be a year. WTF is everyone in an industry tied to tourism going to do? When do we start seeing chimp-outs? I want to see shit burn. I'm tired of regular TV.

RIDE THE TIGER

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Used those all the time doing maintenance in a granite quarry. Never shattered a single one. Impact sockets are a jewish psyop to sell more sockets.

I'm a bank teller but extremely worried.
I was in a position to be promoted right before this virus and now I'm at risk

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Software engineer for an OTA, so pretty much yes.

Surf the Kali Yuga

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Lost my job last Friday. I need trumpbux

Yeah I've applied for some but i'm becoming more and more convinced that there are some nefarious spirits standing in my way. Possibly some sort of Vættir, not sure.

How do you guys deal with them in America?

I work for Amazon so I'm basically an essential worker at this point.

Free market will fix it. America is Great again.

Nope. I manage a service desk for a biotech company. By monday I should have 90% of my team at home taking calls.

I should be living a comfy life of meetings, reports, and jerking off while I play video games, WHILE i collect trumpBUX

IT jobs are definitely the place to be right now.

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What's happening next week?

Nope

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I work in a high end residential. As of now, I have work. But it's mostly work from contractors who are close to finishing projects. The end consumer of my trade is wealthy boomers, but many are not in residence on the construction side of things. I am getting cancellations from boomer clients though. The younger ones don't seem to care as much about people being in their homes. I would expect many condos to close nonessential trades and services soon though.

They should all get hired by these farmers kvetching about how they can't man the fields with the borders closed. Then they should form a union and let the luls ensue. Farmers, especially Californian farmers, are just as bad as any other jewy industry that kvetches about having to pay fair market value for wages.

It would be so surreal to be in Vail right now during peak ski season with nobody on the mountain. Fiscal year 2019 will be an absolute shit show for tourism/hospitality. The silver lining is that the hospitality industry employs more illegals than just about any other industry in the U.S..

I got laid off weeks ago. (Hotel employee)

Just glad I got unemployment before the rush happened.
It's comfy for now, i have savings if it gets rough but for now I'm getting paid to drink and play doom eternal all day.

but daddy boomer!

Trucker here. I'm thinking about parking in a loves and sleeping in my cab for a month. Loves has the best coffee otr.

35 million? Try 60 million. That’s what I am hearing will be the laid off number for the next 4-5 weeks as it becomes clear that America is the worst affected country with tens of millions of deadly Covid-19 carriers.

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same

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How are the lot lizards?

Large, mixed race, meth mouthed and more threatening than corona.

Is this the Age of Trades?

Laid off friday due to “uncertain business conditions” caused by coronavirus pandemic

I work for a health insurance company, I'll be good.

people on unemployment should not be allowed to play games

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