Im notg blaming myself bud. My dad taught me everything wrong. Only ONE thing hes ever said made any since, pay attention to your surroundings. He said this when he found out I was hanging out with older people who bought me cigarettes and beer. Another eye opener, he was setting me up to ask people for cocaine. That didnt click till years later. Shits retarded bro. I had shitty parents NOT guiding me, allowing a fucked up system to do so instead.
This, all of my mothers problems were caused by her dad or her husband/my dad. Women follow their men, or used to. And when there was a bad women, there was either no father or a shitty one behind her. Then you add in shitty boyfriends, shitty first husbands, or baby's daddies, whatever. Majority of womens problems are the mans responsibility. We let them get away, get out of hand.
I dont blame my mother for anything. She wasnt the smartest, She got fooled by a dude. Even then, she did whatever she could to make us happy. They hid, or tried to hide, so much bad shit from us. Me, I ignored the wine coolers, I ignored the white residue in the bathrooms, until I got older. 11 or 12, mom went to jail for probation violation. Got caught stealing petty shit from Target. Developed a mild form of clepto because of my dad. Ended up getting her busted, she tried taking $500+ worth of tapes, wallet, a shit, some other small shit that could fit in a puirse.
After her stint, all the cocaine habits got ALOT looser. 16yrs old, I was partying with friends, tried the stuff, came home. Dad saw me, him being a coke head, instantly knew I had tried some. Basically guilted me into getting him a fucking 8ball.
His idea to make it "cool", was to take me and a friend to an asian strip club.
Anyways, too many details.
Boomers are pieces of shit. They corrupted each other, and only cared about getting fucked up and feeling good in the moment. The future never concerned them.