Brit/pol/ Late Edition

I've been needlessly touching the few remaining boxes of tissues in the shop to help build herd immunity to the awful cold I had this week.

Get mead in you. Make it with hot water, with honey and lemon. It destroyed the bad flu I had in January

Impressed 100%

SCENARIO
You are Prime Minister of a country with a real population of at least 100 million. Much of the workforce has become idle. Businesses are flaking out due to an epidemic, and are announcing closures and redundancies all over the place. The nation suddenly has the capacity to feed only 50 million.

How do you get out of this?

Start buying thermometers.

Can you make me a doomsday sussex?

twitter.com/Scouse_ma/status/1240921790354018305

Nuke China.

Wasn't the dropping dead only in China?
Fancied a 1st for a change.

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Time to start kamikazi coofing on immigrants

area please? as well as how long you've felt like this.
any idea where you got it?

Come to birko lad

>Fuck you pay for my air!
Lads...

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and buy food from another shithole

It was right back then that we needed to roll out mass testing.

>Why didnt they shut the border for a few weeks before it took hold here?
neoliberal capitalism

I go where I'm ordered kek. I'll be posting updates tomorrow but unlikely I'll be posting after that. We'll see what happens.

A little OC for the lads.

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Also other countries are experiencing the same problems and will be reducing the quantity of exported food substantially.

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put water into mug, add salt and microwave for 2 minutes then stir, tastes like chicken soup. Goto bed early and sleep it off, worked for me.

Define a bit more lad.
kek good job.

twitter.com/Jan_mers/status/1240343340467531777

Dutch health minister collapsed live and has resigned since due to "fatigue"

North Wales, started to change over from 'normal' cold yesterday, probably at work bartending with a lot of international students around up until last week.

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Come to Birkenhead lad and fren is a scouser we'll go and find him together.

How do I get a GF during a kung-flu pandemic?

But he doesn't though, he drank salt water that tasted like chicken and now he's cured?

drinking plain water will dehydrate you... always add a little pinch of salt.

Make an Apu wandering towards south downs with a mushroom cloud in the background

I live in Cambridge, everything will be fine, everything is always fine in Cambridge.

my new top lol

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Tell her you have loo roll back at yours.

Maybe I will, if i get to

youtu.be/IXpBkvpoJ10

I'm gonna hand write a letter and post it to a random address and hope the recipient is a qt girly who will be my gf. Wish me luck

I need to get my mum something for mother's day in the morning. Will the shops even be open? I can't keep up with the escalation of this nonsense.

fuck off with whatever click bait shit that is

me on the right

>Boris is wearing a crown
what

Could just have chicken soup. Rather than salty water and trying to convince yourself it's as good.

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I'll see if I can conjure something.
Poor Essex and Suffolk being wedged up the arsecrack.

Some doctor has the virus

Cough on her on mother's day and tell her she's welcome, she's now herd immune.

All she's getting at this point is Lloyd Grossman's Masala sauce and a can of mushy peas

Told my mum over the phone that I'm not visiting their house any more as I don't want to risk infecting them. She tells me her partner's son is just back from London and is visiting them tomorrow. Fuck sake.

Let my lucky numbers grant you luck!

>North Wales,

how close to Hawarden are you?

a-asking for a friend...

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Redpill me on the freemasons lads

Yes. And mother's day gifts are one of the few things that supply matches demand perfectly.

My man

Good night chaps

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Reintroduce conscription of all men age 16-29 to drive ambulances, do deliveries, keep shit moving.

Make police break into people's houses to raid the hoarded loo roll and hand it to the elderly.

Send infected people by the bus load to Muslim majority areas of England.

Make sure they do it all for free.

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kek she's done for lad, loot her cupboards and forget about her, she's a gonner.

You're gonna have to do him in lad, no other option.

Night matey.

my neighbour was one and he had a Ferrari California

He is between the flu symptoms and the cytokine storm. He will drop dead tomorrow.

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nanite karen, see you int mornin pal

Public domain stone cutters mate.

night xx

all i know is there are an alarming amount of schools next to the local lodge

I bet loads do. It's not like we are testing them properly.

As a 4X world champ
>Much of the workforce has become idle.
This is your main problem and your biggest resource
>Businesses are flaking out
These are a meme and generally just something for citizens to be doing with their time, this is of no concern

Any LBC bros in the thread?

Nick Abbott isn’t even playing with his soundboard anymore

I wonder what would happen if the person posting all the moonpig mothers day cards was infected?

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Red herring

I was going to but I've drunk too much to get up tomorrow. I'm just going to tell her that I love her so much I didn't want to risk killing her with coronavirus.

Have you phoned up and asked him about his sexuality yet?

The BBC news site has a thing where you can check how many cases are confirmed in your area
>last week it was 2
>earlier this week it was 7
>today it's 14
It was nice knowing ya, lads.

East or West?