Something scary happened in my town. My name is Dr. Jonathan Askildsson. I am a doctor at the University in Bergen. A man has died of the Coronavirus in my town. Thanks to him I stumbled onto this website.
I was at the scene. The man had fainted. Upon approaching him, he bit me hard and drew blood.
I now seem to be exhibiting the same symptoms the deceased patient has had. Before suffering extreme organ failure at the hospital, he was coughing up blood, he had stomach cramps and he reported blood coming out of his nose.
I have all the symptoms he had, and I also have a strange need to bite others. I am currently under quarantine.
We demand answers from Trump! We demand to know just what the fuck we as medical professionals are dealing with here! We demand full disclosure from the FBI!
The symptoms are far worse than any of us initially thought.
This is the final photo the dying man took as he was dying on the street, minutes before our ambulance arrived.
Enough is enough. We demand answers from China as well as Trump's racist, corrupt administration.
Listen here Jack, I'm gonna set you straight. I'll only say this once so listen up, Fats. This virus isn't going anywhere. Let me repeat myself, this virus isn't going anywhere. Back in my day we didn't call it covid whatever; we called it the "Shanghai Shivers". OK, here's the deal, Slick. I used to know a guy, went by the name Cornflake Jackson. Ol' Cornflake used to play guitar down at the pool hall. He caught the Shanghai Shivers one year and let me tell you, if Cornflake Jackson says, "It ain't no thang" you can take that to the bank, Bucko. That's how I know you're full of shit. I'd punch your daughter straight in the mouth.
No, you do not understand the seriousness of the situation. Please listen to me. I think the virus might be able to hijack our brains neurologically. Please listen to me.
Stay indoors. Stock up on food.
Cooper Davis
I can't think of anything more schizophrenic than this "global vampire pedophile cult" conspiracy. It's fucking absurd, I'd be inclined to believe you faggots if you could produce a single piece of evidence, but of course that's against what you believe in.
By all means, keep screaming "shill" at all the skeptics, because we all know you win support through manic hostility and paranoia
Seriously though, getting real sick of having to share a website with you actual retards, I came here for conservative debate and free speech not stormfaggotry.
Somebody wake me up when this board's IQ is over 70.
Connor Bell
You direct your questions to pirbright, you need a Faraday cage and some strong magnets, cannabis oil will speed your recovery
Ian Garcia
Post a pic of the bite
Ryan Adams
If he said shit like this id vote for him, laser rifle and I'm in 100%
Carson Miller
You're talking to a bunch of fat autists who never leave the house. We are way a head of you varg
Owen Wood
Yeah we know, get away from transmitters and shield your environment
This was right after the man bit me. Since then I have tested the bite at home and have discovered pathogen of the virus, which means it spreads through bites. My need to bite someone is also growing stronger the sicker I become.
For my 20 years of medical practice, I have never encountered anything like this. As a man of science, I am simultaneously frightened and fascinated by what is happening to my body and the world around me. This is so scary and none of you seem to be taking it seriously enough.
Don't tell me: "Reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep".
Julian Sullivan
my sides
Ayden Cook
Damn it.
David Rodriguez
I suggest you record yourself so we can one day see the exact moment when you turn feral
Matthew Lewis
Bro, I hope you're just larping...
Tyler Russell
I encourage you to watch all Resident Evil movies to relax a little
Jaxson Cruz
What does this mean? This is not a joke,if that is what you are referring to.
Justin Rogers
Alright, draw blood samples. Send it to every country you can, starting with U.S. Russian UK fuck UK actually and fuck Israel atm. They get it anyway. Fuck it, just send everyone samples of your blood and a teeth mold of uppers and lowers so they can track the initial spread. Thanks OP.
Cooper Turner
He is. It's a cold virus.
Josiah Jones
My fear is that, observing my symptoms and those of the deceased COVID-19 patient, we might be in a Resident Evil movie as we speak. They never told us anything about this. Things are far scarier than any of us thought.
Ayden Harris
Spoopy
Joseph Cook
Have you noticed any new super powers, or a loss of your reflection in the mirror?
Cameron Roberts
THIS THREAD IS DISINFORMATION, FOLKS. READ IT AND LAUGH, BUT DON'T BELIEVE A WORD.
THE REAL PLAGUE IS CAPTCHA PROGRAMMERS. THEY ALL MUST BE EXECUTED.
Grayson Howard
how long ago were you bitten OP?
Ian Kelly
Thank you for the idea, I do intend to do this. I am also reading classified reports from the hospital right now, which document that most other patients also felt the need to bite others and I quote, "from a healthy young flesh" as one sick patient in his 30s said it himself upon admission to the hospital. I am reading his file right now.
Charles Smith
I was bitten yesterday and no superpowers for now, I just feel extremely ill with pain everywhere in my body from my head to my stomach. The cramps make it difficult for me to breathe, it is so bad and the cough feels like it is tearing my chest open.
Jacob Wright
blood on the ground 1 day before, first pic but the pic of the bite is just after it happened. the whole story is weak but this is just pathetic, like all the replies.
Thomas Brown
>filename
Nice try faggot LARPer
Lincoln Reed
Timestamp your doctors id with todays date and write Yas Forums on it so we can all see, and i'll tell you. Seriously, this is no fucking time for larping OP.
Wyatt Watson
This. A CAPTCHA programmer bit me and now I'm in quarantine.
John Hill
Nice Reddit spacing faggot SAGE
Eli Sullivan
Have you had unprotected sex lately? This sure sounds like Gongorhea.
Colton Wright
I unironically believe this is actually Joe Biden posting this
Andrew Anderson
Skaff deg et liv.
Sebastian Clark
Can someone pull up the actual statistics website in Germany where two mother fuckers ACTUALLY came back to life somehow?
Samuel Kelly
PROOOOF ?! Nope? Sage.
Josiah Bell
Don't forget it possibly can give you diarrhea! This is it, the big one! I'm out of toilet paper and have the shits!
>a man is in horrible pain, coughing up blood, bleeding from his nose, and feeling the uncontrollable urge to bite people >he takes a pic of the ground for some reason >somehow his doctor also gets this pic and posts it on a Namibian ladle-carving forum that "just stubled upon"
How low iq do you have to be to LARP like this, do you even know who you're pretending to be? There's only one Dr. Jonathan at Bergen and he teaches classes in Gender studies or kjønnslitteratur as it's called here. Why on earth would you choose to larp as this guy?
If true, I remember watching the webm of a Chinese person wrapped in blankets kinda covered in blood and convulsing on a birdie. It's possible through human ingenuity that a certain protein could possibly create a gine in the virus to spread through saliva after being infected say a cotton mouth example where you bite on things when your high to create saliva to stop the effect. All in thought and theories I kinda figured that the next faze is heart attack, death then nural reanimation. If infected for the 3rd and final time...complete mutation of cannibalism.
Justin King
It's futile, yet you larp. Not one soul is infected.
Lincoln Jackson
>A Namibian ladle-carving forum isn't the most important place to update information about a mutating global pandemic
That's the joke. Only a "doctor" doing gender studies would believe something so retarded as OP is claiming.
Christopher Morales
I just like readingthe stupidshit you all are posting.
Jason Scott
They never go further than page 1, do they?
Colton Williams
Yeah, thought so, confirmed larp.
/thread
Thomas Rogers
Good, lurk more faggot.
Benjamin Garcia
>"bite" doesn't look like a bite >says he has 20 years experience in the medical field >that would peg him no younger that 40 >says infected said they need to bite into health young flesh
