Brit/pol/Paracetomal cures Corona edtion

boris is a piece of shit

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Based Soufern ffor rescuing us from the impending doom of being archived

He just said closing shops... lads?

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AHHH

AHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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someone explain what lockdown means? can i still go to the shops?

BASED

WE SOCIALISM NOW

nth for all pubs, restaurants, etc. getting bought up spoons in the coming weeks

Morrisey IS a nonce. He just says le edgy things because people like you will lap it up and spend money on his records. Pitiful attempt to remain relevant.

FREE MONEY THE MADMAN DID IT

I like the Smiths very much, what can I say my dearest lads

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>Govt paying 80% of salaries
Fucking hell, money printer go brrrr

Yeah , I think at this point it's just pubs and cafes

HERE IT COMES LADS

FREE MONEY

YANG GANG UK

CORONABUCKS

HAHAHAHA. You must be permanently unemployed. I dont know how they even let you out of the house. Fucking nutter.

What the actual fuck

Yeah but you need a loisence if you're carrying more than three bog rolls at a time.

wasn't paying attention am I getting free money yet?

>tfw stuck paying rent while boomers get mortgage holiday

Fuck, if I knew I was going to get paid government gibs to stay at home I wouldn't have quit.

brrr brrr

BORIS IS THE FATHER OF THE NATION
UNDER HIS GUIDANCE VICTORY IS ASSURED

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Closing pubs and restraunts
get ready for the panic buying of booze at lidl

you don't have to pay rent now

seething guardian reader
20,000 people packed out wembley stadium the other day while you sat in your mums house crying about it

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not really just giving people back their tax money

Buy your alcohol before they ban or restrict it.

Eddie needs 4 more viewers to be #1 on Assassin's creed.
Support your local streamer lads
twitch.tv/eddie_la

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MUHHH CORONABUXXXXX

WE ALL NEET NOW

UNIVERSAL INCOME HERE WE GO

twitch.tv/eddie_la

twitch.tv/eddie_la

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Stocks were already low earlier on. Victory Gin when?

Too many people have already recovered for it to be the end. That means a lot of people are off the hook for at least one year

This is going to be written about in economics book in ten years time about how the west drove itself into a super duper economic crash to make the holodmor look like a good time

How is this not going to get taken advantage of?

>closing gyms
bro what the fuck

based I say
youtube.com/watch?v=vLub8oFBbUA

so what if i've already been laid off?
are my company likely to apply for this grant and pay me?
no. why would they bother.

>80% of your salary is tax
OK

>NO VAT UNTIL END OF JUNE
fucking hell

Can someone explain/link me to what is happening?

All the companies will pocket half this money and use it to pad their own profits

>NO LIMIT
nice scheme you have there

Yas Forums on suicide watch

the awkward moment when you admit most jobs are bullshit and a UBI is necessary to prevent widespread cannibalism

>LABOUR BAILED OUT THE BANKS
TORIES BAILED OUT THE PEOPLE
>LABOUR BAILED OUT THE BANKS
TORIES BAILED OUT THE PEOPLE
>LABOUR BAILED OUT THE BANKS
TORIES BAILED OUT THE PEOPLE
>LABOUR BAILED OUT THE BANKS
TORIES BAILED OUT THE PEOPLE

Morrissey is the most based celeb in the UK. He's a little out there with veganism, but that stuff's not completely irrelevant. over-feeding overweight blacks deep fried chicken isn't
the height of any civilization.

BORIXBUXX

bbc.co.uk/iplayer/live/bbcnews

How is this even possible?

BENNIES GONE UP

lad what are you doing

It's not like I don't agree with some of the stuff he says, its just so clearly a way for him to clutch on to some form of relevancy. I love the smiths, but Morrisey these days is such a sad sack.

B-but its j-just a cold, r-right guys?

Was just down the small sainsbury's. They're out of everything but cider (fools, weather is getting good so they'll be craving cider soon)

DO I GET BORISBUX AS A NEET OR NOT PLS RESPOND

anyone caught abusing the scheme will be turned into sossij rolls

better to have unemployment exceeding the great depression yeah?

might have to get on the cheap supermarket own-brand lagers lad

Magic money tree

>Too many people have already recovered for it to be the end.
18k or so if you ignore china's fake numbers. reinfection is a very real thing. you can't gain any form of immunity to this virus.

Get a canal boat and just cruise up to Liverpool. Find some local horny honies and keep them warm.

I don't have a loicence for the telly-nelly.

It isn't, its huge loans to pay for it

you get what you fucking deserve

the goverment have more money than you think

Let's not be too hasty yet lad, well see how this plays out.

All talk atm

unlimited money printing
nice benefit of having control of your own currency
stay jelly Eurocucks

No, only if you're employed full time.

7 billion queen bills brr brrr

watch naked attraction with the lads before the bird gets home

>10 Years of Cameron austerity gone in an instant

What is going through RISHI SUNAK's head

He came out of nowhere and become a full socialist

KEKE

More like what are you doing?

twitch.tv/eddie_la

how will the leftist cucks on reddit and twitter spin this into making boris look bad?

watching*

FFS

This is fucking insane man

rishi said shops
boris didnt say they were closing shops
whats the fuckign truth

Haha money printer go brrrrrrrrrrr

>lending UNLIMITED sums of money
The magic money tree is real brrrrrrrt

We can afford to do this because of the economic legitimacy the last 10 years got us in the eyes of the financial world, deserved or not.

They'll say he didn't spend enough. It should be 100% not 80%.

>I love the smiths, but Morrisey these days is such a sad sack.
stick to billy bragg lad

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British people are thick as pig shit and totally subservient

Embarassing

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This. We have to kill it by not allowing it to spread. Its the only way.

unprecedented

>le they said socialism when Corbyn wanted to do this without a fucking pandemic!

Imagine if Sajid Javid the Randian was still the chancellor

youtube.com/watch?v=RNWm037Kqbc

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So.... are the tories gonna bankrupt the natinon?

shut up you fucking retards we're watching naked attraction

We’ll never recover from this.

alright, i get about 70 more a month in neetbux

gonna spend it on memes

It's better in the long run too stop incentives people not planning ahead but we live in a denocary so we are only allowed to care about the next 5 years

Alri alri alri

>they could have done this 10 years ago and didn't causing the deaths of 150k people through austerity

There you go

If you didn't get all the equipment you'd need in February you deserve to lose all your gains.

Someone in a few threads ago posted a book about bullshit jobs

Still haven't read it though

>The chief constable of Merseyside police has tested positive for the coronavirus, the Liverpool Echo reports.

Based virus

idk user didn't Boris tell us Corbyn couldn't pay for Labours policies?

Shops =/= supermarkets. Just like the flower shop or whatever

This is like a church service

ok that is actually really good

Based
#YWNA

Labour on suicide watch

neetbux increase of £1000 per year (so an extra £83 a month)

If he saves the country him and boris we be heroes.

We in war spending now.

>IT WILL BE OVER
absolute fucking doom

Can students get free money ?

that was me

He has so much more to gain by following the status quo. Notice how actors hardly ever express controversial right-wing opinions about immigration. It's because they know the greatest amount of people and the leftist cultural establishment all support mass immigration.

*

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I will make a cake later

>omg i have coronachan
>its totally not like aids but i'm going to act like its an incurable deadly disease that's 100% fatal
holy fuck, the cult of no one gives a fuck worship

describe your dream saturday

What about students? I could really do with adding to my link stack.

Apparently we're supposed to live off maintenance loans
lol

Students get free money anyway you greedy fucks.

>b-but muh loan repayments
Nobody pays those back

Students already get free money

nigga I've been all over the country on public transportation, I've not even got a runny nose, it's a NWO coup and fat scared wankers like you are screwing over the whole world with your pathetic cowardice, I hope you run out of insulin, super fat faggot.

kek

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Students and the unemployed should be the exact same distinction.

oh right so they're not paying people to stay home?

i cant buy equipment i live in uni accommodation theres no space

The dream Saturday is literally going out to football having a scrap with the lads, showing off your battle scars to the lads, laughing about the fight, smashing some lines and pills then going to a rave with the lads and pulling a slag who’s interested by the masculinity of your black eye and grazed knuckles

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with football hooliganism.

did he do that himself?

>We in war spending now.
All the money in spaffed in ww2 lost us the empire, what will this loose us in the future?

>supposed to

Its not enough

need based Rishi as PM desu

>1,000 pound increase of UC for the year
Its nothing to them

We are witnessing real history here lads.

I know, mine doesn't even cover my rent la

rishi is basically a public school oxbridge investment banker clone but he actually seems pretty based

Sunak, son of spock

everything kills the boomer-doomer virus if you're young enough

Been in official isolation for 4 days due to underlying health problems and I am comfy as fuck dawg. Nice to see this Herd Immunity meme get flip flopped real quick.

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What fucking stupid questions from the Mail.

>There’s absolutely nothing wrong with (((football hooliganism.)))

fuck, i'm so happy i finished uni last year. a chinese girl i know doing a masters has locked herself in her apartment and is building lego all day. my cousin also got sent home until september and they dunno what the exam situation is going to be

There will be a run on alcohol now. Get it while you can

Oh no not mothers day

>Daily Mail
lmao

mandatory foreskin removal of all infants like america. State law now.

>are you going to see your mummy?

Pretty important question into a yikes question

What did she mean by this

That was actually written by Simon Heffer, Boris was the editor. I'm sure it's what he thinks though, it's what everybody outside Liverpool thinks.

Why did they ask that

So the 15% mortality rate strain is pretty much confirmed at this point right?

My parents pay my student costs to avoid loans, so they're just fucked?

this tb.h

lmao

Summarise it for me

kek

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Rishi and Boris are an iconic team t b h

Daily Mail headline tomorrow: BORIS CANCELS MOTHER'S DAY

Kek which uni? Im in bangor halls and theres enough room for a barbell under my bed (which I now have). Obviously limited to what I can do with it but better than resorting to no gains.

Self-employed "entrepreneurs" get what they fucking deserve.

Heading down the shop as we speak

You need r0 to be clamped down below 1 for the maximum incubation period - 21 days - for there to be zero new cases.
China did this by welding the doors shut on every apartment block in Wuhan, while Bojo is on TV right now saying "pretty please mister pub landlord, can you stop serving pints"

We're in for a wild fuckin ride lads

I hate how everyone goes on about substance over style, but literally Rishi is materially not very different from the average chancellor. He just has style. Any chancellor would announce the same thing word for word, especially considering that no.11 has been very much gutted by Boris and no.10 has more say in economic affairs then ever.

>nigga
>NWO coup.
You sound like a weed smoking wigger with barely two brain cells to rub together.

You just fucking know that's the angle they'll go with

lmao at you right now

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>What will this loose us in the future?
A white majority
Full on immigration to rebuild the country

74% CFR in the UK right now. most other non-chinese countries have 40%+. it's not looking good.

I like Boris's joviality 2bh

He's married to some important indian billionaire's daughter. Alongside being indian himself. Totally dual allegiances.

hilarious cringe

>a chinese girl i know doing a masters has locked herself in her apartment and is building lego all day

sounds cute, wish i had a gf like that

don't drink don't care

OH MY GAWD THE DAILY MAYUL

>Unexpectedly become Chancellor
>5 weeks later nationalise the entire country
kek

Boomer-Doomer Virus strikes again

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You're right ive met many people just like him well spoken private indian bloke in banking stereotypes

Best post in this thread. Imagine how weak you are to be wooed by a fucking ecconomic chancellor

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Just listen to yourselves Britcels it's fucking hilarious.

>based celebs
>boris will save britain
>based pajeet chancellor

the absolute state lmao

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>So hows your new job going luv?

...So can i be paid in cash and claim coronabucks?

Only 3% of the population of Wuhan caught the coronanino

I was thinking about buying Corona but decided on Beck's

Why aren't you watching naked attraction with the lads?
twitch.tv/eddie_la

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Why ? What did I miss?

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A part of me wants to go into town tonight just to see the fucking carnage, it’s like the fall of Rome in this city at the best of times.

>He just has style
What ??

ENGLAND IS MINE
AND IT OWES ME A LIVING

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whiter than you muhammed

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