> Boris Johnson updates the country on coronavirus
[YouTube] [YouTube] youtube.com
> Bill summary
publications.parliament.uk
> Bill in full
publications.parliament.uk
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>Answers promised after school shutdown confusion
bbc.co.uk
>40 London Underground stations to be closed
bbc.co.uk
>Italy deaths rise by record 475 IN 24 HOURS
bbc.co.uk
>Europe sets up emergency lifeline worth billions
bbc.co.uk
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dailymail.co.uk
voca.ro
youtube.com
youtube.com
standard.co.uk
youtube.com
youtube.com
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liverpoolecho.co.uk
youtube.com
independent.co.uk
twitter.com
>UK coronavirus cases surge by 2,000 in a WEEK as the rapid growth of the country's epidemic outstrips most of Europe and Boris Johnson admits the disease is 'not responding' to efforts to slow it down
dailymail.co.uk
Enjoy the tune of the moment.
youtube.com
BOOGIE ON DOWN
>tfw your dad has corona
>dailymail
First for Gordon Brown to be next Labour leader
youtube.com
yeah, I'm thinkin Craig's back
To the lad in the last thread:
standard.co.uk
tfw parents have spent the last 10 years being nibiru prepper schizoids
>when your cruising tinder for girls in quarantine with corona who just want to fug before they die
It’s an abstract kind of feel
someone give me a topic before i go to the shop or piss myself
cheers
Love and sorrow, spring beauty and death
What's that on his face?
Lads most of my local supermarkets are hiring extra staff to cope with the virus and applying genuinley seems like the best idea in the world to me right now.
>Put an end to my NEETdom and have one of the only 100% secure jobs that exists currently
>Will probaby catch the virus from a customer and subsequntly fight it off within the first month, meaning I'll have immunity (if immunity is a thing) and pass those antibody tests as soon as they're introduced
>Once enforced lockdown measures hit I'll still be able to leave the house and enjoy a chill stroll to and from the store as I'll be an "essential worker"
>They're clearly desperate as fuck so I doubt they'd refuse me
Am I thinking straight? Should I do it?
Nice to see Neil being the neocon he is
Imagine willingly living in London lmao
I read the journal of my ancestor who landed in Virginia from Britain long ago.
He had such a brutally hard life. Worked as a peasant on a little farm, was beaten by his adopted parents, was abused so much he had visions of angels who visited him in the fields. Eventually he bought his own farm and worked it until the day he died. At the end of his life he burned all his possessions, because of his paranoid delusions
perfect
see you in 10-20 minutes frank anatra
Honestly I would if I were you. Not just working in supermarkets either, if you can drive then you can deliver groceries or medicine.
The search for room temperature super conductors
kino
yeah secure for 3 days
bored
> Gordon Brown has been praised for his “calming” influence during the coronavirus crisis
>that's all it takes
kek they're so fucked
Was at the Tesco’s today with my dad
Panic in full swing, nearly all meat gone, all canned foods, bread and semi skinned milk.
Potatoes were hard to get, hell fucking everything was low.
My dad and I got desperate shopping carts to get around the 3 products per line rule, got him some canned fruits, some Italians meats that will last until April, canned stews, soups, some uncle bens rice and all day breakfasts, as well as some pot noodle.
Then we had a normal shop on top of that.
I’m in the army so I’m not too worried about feeding myself, I just want him to be ok while I’m away
Do it m8 I'd still be at work if it hadn't shut down only the thoroughbred will survive we need this done really hoping I'm a super spreader.
Shelf stacking is dire m80
I used to put things up my bottom to aid masturbation but I don't do that anymore
so, did brit government rescind the whole herd immunity thing after finding out they based their research off the wrong virus?
at this point i'm thinking there is a supply issue
need to see a paki about some beer soon
foreigners and poor people keep stockpiling
Read that as Gordon Ramsay
Working in a supermarket is so fucking easy. As long as your aren't in the .com department.
Also you have access to the food and can buy shit on your lunchbreak and go put it in your locker.
MICHEL BARNIER HAS CORONAVIRUS
God confirmed for supporting Britain
based and Cummingspilled
>going to tesco and asda expecting food when you know full well the scuffy cunts have already been and gone
>not going to M&S, Sainsburys and Holland & Barrett to ensure you are stocked up fine
Did you ever try putting a willy up there?
No. We just moved to the next phase of the master plan: crashing this plane.
If you drop the second point then it is an solid plan.
You don't want to get it at all.
At least avoid it for an whole month (otherwise you could end up losing your employment entirely if you are off ill for an while in the first month, it is related to employment laws as such where your position is legally less secure for just that first month).
yea the store my bro works is having there shipments cut by 3rd.
Your dad will make it lad just tell him to bloody well stay in, I had to go to the morrissons for me mam to get her prescription for her, also gave her 5kg rice and told her to wash hands etc.
I really hope she'll listen to me and remain indoors.
Just In Time and it’s consequences have been a disaster for the logistic chains
An added bonus is if you get a mild case, you can coof on the wogs
Been at work all day by myself, looks like it'll just be me there for the coming weeks. Started off pretty decent, just blasting music, doing what I wanted etc, about 2 hours in it was almost torture, huge building which normally has 100+ people in it completely empty, no one to talk to, no phones ringing, apart from one phone on the other end of the building, ran to answer it only to find out it was just an automated message, really weird day lads.
>At the end of his life he burned all his possessions, because of his paranoid delusions
Your ancestor was severely based
any planned survivors?
Yeah but the only reason they no longer call it herd immunity to to not upset civilians with the connotations of that strategy.
We are still doing herd immunity, just not calling it herd immunity.
And this Friday all the kids will be off school and people finally finishing off work to look after them to find that all the foods gone. I expect blood to get spilled this weekend from civilian panic.
Iev told my dad to try going to the shops every couple of days and only go into the canned food if he has to. He should have enough for a month and if things get desperate I’ll try and get rations sent to him.
nobody else needs to know that
you know they'll get priority treament
do not squander this opportunity
y only u
to follow up - are they still arresting people who are infected
what do you do lad?
Shut your fucking mouth you idiot.
There was a note written by his granddaughter, she saved the journal from the fire. He was super religious, and only got a wife because of his connections at the church (same with his farm), he thought his material possessions were weighing down his trip to heaven or something, and represented "vanity" or something
None at all.
It's things like this that give the feeling you're in end times.
If my numbers are repeated sequentially then it is indeed the last days.
I gave it a try out of boredom but it didn't add any extra pleasure, actually made it less enjoyable. Cock in cunt is the way forwards if you can tolerate w*men for long enough.
all my office mates are off work, roads are empty, feel like the band on the titanic 2bh
are you paid to moan?
excited to see white boomers die off so the demographics change more
i’m back
Fuck that's a great idea boy I'm going m&s tomoz and clearing the fuck out of those deenz.
Shieeet, you've doomed us lad
eastern europeans will give it a boost.
and? white people will be a minority it's not a larp. they don't seem to give a shit so fuck it
Is this the highest density piece of culture ever created? Thoughts?
it's too daunting lol
pls give more specific example or gib feelscape music
Boris could not comprehend how perfect she is
it's almost as if he never played Pandemic2
thank god
>brits in crisis
bog rolls
>yanks in crisis
guns
go check the small local shops in the morning and see how they're stocked up. don't know what kind of area he's in but he might be able to avoid rushes at big shops completely. farm shops or m&s are also an option for meat.
I remember from awhile back in liverfailure when i was driving to the derby near the end of last year.
I wonder if that was eddie sperging out?
Bring an prostitute or gf in for an shag knowing you will be the only one to done it successfully in the workplace.
Wouldn't recommend an sex party as that will likely leave an mess that is too much for you to handle.
fuck
More digits and only whites will remain.
Because im the only one who isnt self isolating or not turning up
It kinda gave me that feeling
Yeah? Its surreal aint it
No but i pay your mum to moan
This, families are gonna go to the supermarket for the usual weekend shop and realise that they are fucked for food
is everyone going shoping tomorrow?
youtube.com
post nostalgic music like this that will make me feel something
Don't you have someone who can work with the levels while he's speaking? It sounds like he's talking through a fucking muffle.
meant on stream
herd immunity was never the aim, the guy just mentioned it as a thing that was going to happen and retards on here ran with it for a round of (jealous) Brit-bashing
You fucking cunt, you done us all in.
post link
if my housemates leaves i'll call in
I’ve seen the news saying that the police can now use force to detain suspected infected, but I haven’t seen any cases of it happening yet.
At my unit we got out into levels of importance (level 1 being people essential to the department and level 3 being non-essential) to see might get sent home and given MOD Laptops to use at home. Had a few cases of soldiers infected but theyev been out into quarantine and haven’t died, which is to be expected as they are young and fit.
High ups haven’t decided whether to close our department, or keep us in place in case shit does hit the fan and we do get called in.
So far using us in a lockdown hasn’t even been mentioned yet, but with the way things are going I expect one to get called next month. What worries me is that a lot of troops will want to go home to look after their own families, so they have to make a choice soon between sending them home or calling them in, or sending them to their home towns to oversee whatever needs doing and avoid cases of desertion.
Shits fucked up, and what scares me is not the army organisation but how civilians will react when they can’t get what they want from the shops and might have to ration food IF supply lines get stretched
herd immunity is impossible. you can get reinfected within days of "recovering" and the virus has ADE, so reinfection is always fatal.
do it lad
Fuck.
Forgot to mention the naked bastard putting his balls on someones car.
liverpoolecho.co.uk
>herd immunity is impossible. you can get reinfected within days of "recovering" and the virus has ADE, so reinfection is always fatal.
stop making shit up
paracetamol cures it mate.
BASED COVID
There are people who want to watch the world burn, and then there is you who wants to watch the work burn and burn with it too.
Atonement come back and make me smile
My brother has been driving around different counties because of his job.
He said hes been to a bunch of large supermakets that are absolutey hollow, even the freezer sections are bare of frozen meat.
He managed to get a load of stuff over the last few days because he's been picking up from so many different stores.
I didn't even realise shit was bad until yesterday, I only have a couple of mini supermarkets near me and until yesterday they had everything apart from toilet paper, now they've suddenly gone hollow in 24 hours as the normies have now progressed to the mini supermarkets. I have one near where I work that I buy snacks from and again it was totally empty and fucked suddenly.
Good thing I bought a bag of crucial supplies LITERALLY WEEKS AGO.
>post nostalgic music like this that will make me feel something
youtube.com
Assuming you're not a zoomer.
please be true, they get all kissy kissy with one another at the mosques so would make sense
reinfection doesn't preclude herd immunity. On average, getting the virus will give people some level of immunity to it.
i think i'm too drunk to post hq stuff but i'll try
It needs to happen, the end, better a bang than a whimper.
i’m not takin calls? unless you have my number already
it’s eddie_la
>tfw you get a call from the Jobcentre cancelling your next appointment, and all appointments going forward.
Let it happen.
The norf shall inherit the earth.
read the /cvg/ pastebin. it's all in there.
ffuuuug
There's been an awful lot of COPE pieces in the Gurdian etc warning about the dangers of populism due to chink flu.
They're definitely scared. I think they may try to market Brown as a left-wing populist
>The response to the coronavirus crisis has been dominated by too much “populist nationalism”, Gordon Brown has warned.
independent.co.uk
Can't wait
>On average, getting the virus will give people some level of immunity to it.
antibodies make the infection worse.
yep you better put tent up outside sainsburys now lad