/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2263

I love you friends

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Coronavirus is a fake disease. You guys are being herded like the sheeple you are.

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Sounds like anxiety desu.

I want a bunker bf

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>Mayor of LA won't put a shelter in place order because of all the normies in the city

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There is a 0.0000008875% chance of dying from the corona-meme worldwide.

There is a 0.00000024% chance of dying from corona-meme in the USA

You are more likely to die from prescription drug overdose (154 per day in the USA) or a car accident (100 per day in the USA).

In fact, you are more likely to be killed if you look at an African Hippo irl.

Why is this shit still shilled here?

This is the last thing anyone trying to steal my $4000 toilet paper stash will see

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Post Abby's khazar milkers

Do we believe the numbers coming out of China?
Could they really have contained the issue in a little over 2 months?

Same, but not dry cough, I have a mildly sore throat instead. It sucks.
This may be it, I've been kinda anxious and paranoic for the last week.

>future-world.com/mcatalog/stop-covid-19-now/
This shit is being push around a lot here. Surely, this is some pseudo-science bullshit

>not knowing how probabilities work
Take off the meme flag, leaf

I love you too, Juan!

Guys, if the biolab was owned by Soros, could it be that the Chinks technically didn't release it, but it's a deep state op?

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you buy a time machine and go back a few months ago to when we first tell you to get one

>Do we believe the numbers coming out of China?
of course not

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There are two strains of Corona Virus because we're in a biowar, China was going to release it on America because they were losing the trade war so America hit them with a preemptive strike to disrupt research in the Wuhan bio lab.

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Can the Spanish poster go already so I can hide his ID

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South Korean cases not declining anymore. They are seeing a second wave.

Vaccines are impossible, due to ADE.

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I JUST WANT SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU FAGGOT PANIC BUYERS

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wow, soooooo based....

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It appears to be burning out in Canada are we going to be on bros?

Did they really find a cure?

orange man bad
ccp good

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lel

LMAO why does God hate China so much? He really wants them to die off.

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Not until Beijing goes back to normal.

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>This may be it, I've been kinda anxious and paranoic for the last week.

You'd be amazed at how it can manifest physically. Literally every sensation you can think of, sadly. And yes that includes shortness of breath.

>comparing highly contagious disease to car accident

i got frozen veg today.

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where do i got for the china numbers? idc if they're lying or not, i wanna see em senpai.

I have the exact same symptoms. Had the flu (I think) for about 5 days mid-Feb. Had nausea for a few days after that, and then these symptoms started.

Was I pozzed?

>JHU map had to rescale its dots so my province is really tiny again
Well that's something I guess

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MY NEIGHBOR IS HAVING COOFING FITS I CAN HEAR THROUGH THE WALL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

There's nowhere alone to masturbate now that all my family is home all the time for quarantine.

All it took to knock over the paper tiger was a little cough. Who'd have thought?

Mass hallucination is sweeping the nation. Every single person tuned in to the news is now imagining mild symptoms from the sheer stress of the situation. Medical system about to be overloaded by nothingburgers, weakening them further when the true first waves crash into them.

There was this insane woman who induced phantom pregnancy in herself because she was convinced her and her therapist were in a sexual relationship. Everything that would normally happen during pregnancy occurred, water broke, went to deliver: empty womb

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When it rains it pours.

GIVE ME YOUR TOILET PAPER

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Todays china number: 0

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CRASHING THIS MARKET...

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phone Xi

>started wim hoff breathing out of fun
>actually cleared my hiccups
what the fuck

We told you to stock three months ago should have listened.

Masturbate in front of them. Establish dominance.

Just use a cactus

Meanwhile in Flippines...

Class war incoming

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I have this as well no joke.

This hysteria is the biggest overreaction in the history of civilization.

There's a famous legend about the origin of chess that goes like this. When the inventor of the game showed it to the emperor of India, the emperor was so impressed by the new game, that he said to the man

"Name your reward!"
The man responded,

"Oh emperor, my wishes are simple. I only wish for this. Give me one grain of rice for the first square of the chessboard, two grains for the next square, four for the next, eight for the next and so on for all 64 squares, with each square having double the number of grains as the square before."
The emperor agreed, amazed that the man had asked for such a small reward - or so he thought. After a week, his treasurer came back and informed him that the reward would add up to an astronomical sum, far greater than all the rice that could conceivably be produced in many many centuries!

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Yes. Well, they realized it works back in 2005, on SARS-CoV. This is SARS-CoV-2, so they gave it a shot, and every study trying it has given great results. Chloroquine disrupts the ACE2 receptors the virus uses to get into cells. No receptors, virus can't get into a cell, and can't replicate. It's basically a condom for your lungs.

lol not even 1 million infected yet

what happened happeningfags?
oh, nothing, that's what happened.

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twitter.com/PantherDen_/status/1239715708428341251 It begins

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ANARCHY HERE WE GO

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This.

how is duterte planning to deal corona?

This is what I've been telling my friends and family what they should be scared of and the commies just lurking waiting for an oppurtunity.

Canada is garbage

When you're sitting on the john
And all the toilet paper's gone
Be a man *clap* *clap*
Use your hand *clap* *clap*

Real mathfag here.

Nobody thought that if we multiply the inverse of the cases by the 3rd derivtive of the CFR of 1 mont ago, the result is EQUAL to the 1st percentil of the people born in August.

And if the Kaisenbern Principle is of any utility, we can apply that to the square of the contravariance of the inverse of SIN(C), where C is the Coloumbus Prime number minus 1.

This means that as soon as the cases/deaths ratio approach the inverse of 1/24 of the Kazakhstan population in the 2012, the natural course is that the new virus strain will grow in circumference but not in volume: isn't that amazing?

Also I have extradited the converse resolution loop to the inverse matrix of spread.
I can say without a doubt that the mass quantitative Freidenberg equation says the BF (Burger Frequency) converse somatic exponentially grows. This suggest an analog mass in the Burgerberg theory.

How is this even possible? Solutions? Suggestions?

>12 replies

Reminder that you made that shitty prediction. Reminder I called you out on January due to testing limitations.

This is why they're only testing legit cases desu. Med fag here, the amount of people with health anxiety is way way way higher than most people appreciate. I blame marketing health blogs by "doctors" online (really freelance writers) for a lot of it. And of course the media.

Still no fever no diarrhoea for me so I am in doubt but I think this is IT

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He wants to implement a proper lockdown but infra and majority of local government units are fucking incompetent as shit.

Damn, I can well imagine though.

okay

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Madokami save us.. I can't take this year anymore.

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What are you doing here OP?

SIR STEP BACK! I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN! STEP BACK!

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First death in Michigan occurred about a mile from my house. How fucked am I lads?

You niggers better not be lying about this being the big one. I've spent like 3k this month on supplies.

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GARY

Anxiety over this + reading about it constantly, thinking about it constantly, can make you physically sick. You'll be hypervigilant for any slight sign of sickness, exhaust yourself, upset your stomach etc. Then you might lose sleep and feel even worse, and it'll continue.

It's important to know if you are ill, but try to keep things in perspective and maybe take a break from threads for a while and try to forget.

Not as good as VHS therapy but still nice.

It's up there. People are going crazy over Italy but you have to remember 75% of all cases there are in Lombardi, out of a pop of 60 million.

Artist?

I'm fucking poor nigger. Prepping was never an option for me financially. I'm barely making ends meet and just lost my job too. Hoping my parents will bail me out of this one, only been living on my own for less than a year but they didn't prep either when I told them, now they're one of the panic buyers wishing they'd have listened to me.

Honestly my only hope for survival is leeching off my mormon prep friend or going full raider.
>inb4 hurr durr should've not been poor

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Doo find these dubious. If everyone is locked in their houses not leaving. Then how are they confirming who just got it and whose dead?

Of course China stores are open. Companies are at 200% manufacturing. They just built the first colony on Jupiter too

THEY'RE USING QUARANTINE TO INSTALL 5G IN SCHOOLS

youtu.be/Ljrxgev295s

>potential yearly endemic
60ghz frequency causes hemoglobin to reject oxygen
>enough exposure can cause people to COLLAPSE
they are setting up round two
>wave one will be the boomer remover
the second wave will think of the children
>the happening will be multiphasic, just like the "virus"
"almost more baffling than the illness itself will be the fact that it will suddenly vanish as quickly as it arrives" - Sylvia Browne the end of days
>nothing is new under the sun

youtu.be/Ljrxgev295s

>why are they rolling out 5g in schools during a pandemic?
SPREAD. THIS. SHIT.

FUCK YOU KIM!!!
WE DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID PRESENT

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I can't sleep. It's 6 am. My ass is in pain and I don't know why, I don't even know how to describe that, and I can't poop.
It's going to be a horrible day, I feel.

>Australia 596
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>you made that prediction
Sure I did, doomer.

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Government will step in with rationing soon enough. You're just going to have a lot more viral exposure than those who were fortunate enough to be able to get ready in advance.

All shitposting aside if China can contain it after 80k I don’t think we’re looking at the apocalypse here bud

Even if it goes away tomorrow, it's already crashed the economy and disrupted everyone's lives.

I'd be worried if they were still alive, but dead men spread no sickness. You're fine. Actually, their house is probably the safest place to be right now.

kek what the fuck is this?

No they will inherit the earth. It's a numbers game, they are the new jews

Damn, checked.

>I'd ends in GOI
nice try Juan goystein

Kek, Slovenia just lost all whereabouts of it's 3M (3,000,000) mask shipment. Germany isn't allowing another 1.5M masks through it's border.

Hospitals apparently only have 3 days worth of supplies left.

What a clusterfuck.

Based

Making decisions based off of numbers this early on in the Western epidemic would be like writing off a mass shooter after his first few victims. Just because only a few are dead right this moment does not mean everyone in the school isn't at risk.
The smartest option is to barricade your room and hope you aren't next.
Statistics don't help us right now; they only indicate what stage of the epidemic we are in.
Right now it is just beginning, at least in the West.

how's it feel bruh

Just the fatigue nothing else

i want to get shot outfit

Yes, now I'm sure this is it, I have eaten less and less these days.

You'll be fine Nihonbro.

Just think: by this time tomorrow the virus will have doubled in strength and size, smiting all who stand in its path as it devours the stock market whole. The lights are turning off and they’re never coming back on.
A week from now your supplies will be depleted and all your neighbors will be replaced by hallucinatory visions of talking toilet paper rolls.
Two months from now and you’ll be “posting memes” on the walls of empty cities with human blood. Getting updates on the status of your dead friends from a literal Facebook hosted by a wandering cannibal. Twittering bird calls to warn your tribe of approaching intruders. Instantly gramming out portions of meth to stay alert.
And you still won’t be able to get laid.

yeah user, its totally nothing to worry about, that's why there's a nationwide lockdown huh? it's all just a silly prank

Your aroma
smells of Corona
so we gon' put you in a coma

cali expects 60k homeless to be infected in 8 weeks

Same

But I was a poorfag then :(

This cure is fake news by literal nothingburgers turned into cureburgers. The only cure is death faggots.

Irans death rate got seriously higher

>12 k cases in Germany
>only 30 dead
Thank god for our emergency beds

I have all of this but it feels like my lungs are full of a foreign substance, they feel heavy yet tight

How retarded do they think we are?

I had this 2 nights ago. Take a big spoon of magnesium sulfate (epsom salt) in a large glass of water, then later eat a garlic clove. It helped me. The epsom salts will work like laxatives

soon

corona is the chance to cleanse the balkans off its inhabitants for good. actual humans could settle there once the whole ordeal is over.

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I had this exact shit. Its anxiety. Legit.

>B...BUT THE NEW PREDICTION MUST BE RIGHT!!!
>YES, ALL PREVIOUS WERE TOTALLY WRONG, BUT THIS ONE!!!!

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WITH NO SHURVIVORSHHSS

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Kim promised a Christmas gift before Christmas, before the corona outbreak.

Kek

With a world like that, who would need to get laid?

>poor nigger
>not on food stamps

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I suppose it's possible China has a cure and isn't telling us. At least if this is nothing, I can eat all this food and sell some of these guns.

Kundalini crisis user.
You must ascend or go insane.

yes… fuck

you could get lucky by going to your local military surplus store and looking around, they might have some old soviet mask. you'd have to get an adapter so you can use non-asbestos NATO filters, but the days of 3m respirators are over

Very

Can I get a Nothingburger with extra sneeze and a Fanta-sy?

Good luck. If the Turks/Germans/Italians couldn't get rid of us, neither can Corona.

Thanks fresh webms hadn't seen this

rip

FUCK OFF COMMIEFAGGOT.
youtube.com/watch?v=cbAhX92VacY

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>of course the original predictions were bullshit
How are we, after this much time, arguing about this shit. Of course they were wrong. It was modeled after no response to the virus. As in no 750 million quarantine. No international shutdown of travel. No "muh social distancing" doctors just watching people choke with no shortage of ventilators because no doctors are using them to save people. No mask shortage because nobody wears masks. Or uses soap for that matter.
Literally everything everyone does to decrease the risk of infection lowers the risk of infection. Of course its fucking wrong.
You can not predict what is going to happen with this because you don't know what any given country, region, city or person is going to do.
Quit being fucking retarded. If the national guard/army starts patrolling your streets tomorrow morning I bet the number of infected will go down

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I'm old enough to remember when leftists were saying blumpf was a dictator. Now they want him to lockdown the country and enact marshall law.

not to mention the crazy fucking hail that was punching holes in cars, the red lightning, the walls of fog and haze, the fish jumping out of the water, the swarms of carrion birds, the swarms of locusts, and the black rain- and that's just in the last 3 months

what vengeful fucking pissed off god is utterly annihilating this shithole country right now

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Kekekek. Why would you want to be tested? Test kits are innacurate anyway lol

Things will start taking off here in May.

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>about convinced it's okay for my parents to stay in Arizona as long as they still have insurance because they'll be around less people, particularly me and my brother, especially with his job, and there's no cases in their part of the state yet
>checking news for their county and see the town down the road declared an emergency purely because their average age of residents is old as fuck
Oh, right, if it does go through there the ICU rate will be ridiculous, god damn it.

I want to buy you all toilet paper!

Redistribute the means of shidding!

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I honestly I feel like shit, Anons.

They are doing mandatory scans tomorrow and I am scared shitless I am going to register a temperature. Should I run for it if I show a low grade fever?

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Side effects?

Best year ever.

In life it helps to have a balanced view on a situation. Pro tip as a med fag, triage happens every day in every ward in every hospital in the world and Italians are notoriously overrdramatic .

288230376151 tonnes

I need diaper or expansion art of Corona Chan.

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This isn't a bio weapon. This is China stealing a virus being used for vaccine research to get ahead of SARs. They thought they were going to profit but no because commie pants on head retards some fag decided to sell bats being used in research that were marked for incinerators. This is a fuck up, any mutations are now random. Probably several strains at this point. There are millions on the planet infected. China is lying like a mother fucker they have zero containment.

no. there will be no survivors

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Checked and saved

Sorry, border is closed.

Anyone else feeling a serious sense of derealism? My city isn't on mandated lockdown, just recommended. None of this feels real to me.

In fact, I don't know what feels more fake. The world itself and what's happening or the people around me who are avidly denying this and saying it's a nothingburger while clearly shaken. It's not visible... But you can just feel it.

are you still alive usa faggots?

i feel way more safe here in italy that in your disgusting country

That German number doesn’t make sense. Did the Italians get a super strength strain or something?

try harder

Can you get a cunny slave in the upcoming chaos?

My only hope is that the west will take this as a chance and finally wake up from it's too long dream of globalism and refugee/nigger help. Cut all nigger gibs and become more nationalistic to save what's left of its old glory. Make the west great again (or at least not as shitty as it is now).

I can be your bunker bf. We can watch anime and play vidya!

If you're a guy, sorry m8 I don't swing that way but good luck!

Yeah i lost my appetite lately, too. Fever and headache are the strongest signs anyway i believe. If you have the means to check your temperature, that might be a shortcut to relaxing about all this.

I'm sure we'll all be fine though.

And for your reporting on actual deaths caused solely by the virus.

koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20200318000909

I hate being right.

You can be blind or deaf, or both.

The big G. He's gonna thwack them with an asteroid next month

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You ain't seen nothing yet, it's not like gubments are doing anything to stop the hysteria

That's the same prediction in a prettier table. I called out your retardation back in January.

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The krauts had 23,000 ventilators when this started.

fuck u ching chang chong

>this weird feeling that something is stuck in my respiratory tract
>very dry cough (seldom)
had these two and diarrhea but didn't feel sick.

In a nutshell. We're doomed. I'm from the Visayas and our PUIs have to wait test results from Manila. ZERO KITS for the rest of the country.

In May you say? What a wonderful birthday present.

look at that fucking nose

built for BBC
all kikesses are built for BBC

I feel safer knowing you're in Italy too desu senpai
Seriously though, take care of yourself user.

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Meanwhile in China

youtu.be/p6Fl4bsgig0

Seriously though, where are the street cams? Anyone have a link?

When do u guys think u'll get COLLVIND 19???

Yep. I feel totally normal most of the time and then I recall "there is the worst pandemic in 100 years occurring the largest happening since WWII right in my town" and it just fucks me up.

Will protect toilet paper
Wont prosecute shitskins for raping teens
I love UK

Do I get to pick?

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cope

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Here Sir, only because you noticed me Sir.
Enjoy your meal Sir.

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I was tired and sleepy all day today. Could barely get up. Might be from working out though not sure...

I was too fucking stupid to get p100 filters for my prep so I only have n-95 masks. Anybody got a link for real masks that are still available?

Holy fuck I need to stop buying guns jesus christ

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ask in the /aco/ thread

>Things will start taking off here in May.
very interesting

Back in January, I bought 2 additional guns and ammo. I live alone, my dog died last year, no one is depending on me. Family all in the US.

I'm ready for the raider life.

I have these symptoms since years.

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