IM FUCKED

You remove a degree from oral readings dumbass

Those only work anally.

RIGHT! If you want an accurate reading that you don't need to add on, what you do is swap it from your rectum to your mouth every 3 seconds for the best results.

Im always around 99... always have been. Faking out of school was easy until my mom realized it was my normal operating temp.

Near boiling water temperature, even the thermo is telling you to press F

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kek

Stick it in your ass and take a reading. Immediately remove the thermometer and perform an oral reading. Compare the results.

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Had a fever of 100.2 About 2 hours ago. Took 2 Tylenol tablets. It's now at 98.5.

>9
can you use a civilized system for measuring temperature? in other words, how much is that in celsius?

Survey says.... Yer dead

you're so done, faggot. It's been a good run.
F

I'll try this and report back. Thanks fren

5 actually.

The 'average' temperature recommendation was based off research conducted in the 1800's. Between Burgers more sedate lifestyles and generally improved health, your average person 'runs' colder.

And a extra degree if you're male. Despite the sayings, it's actually women that tend to be the 'hot blooded' ones for a variety of biological reasons.

So yeah... Sorry man, but your brain will start boiling soon.

>this

some thermometers do it automatically.
my retarded ass oral thermometer always says i have hypothermia.

same boat

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I’m fucked.

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No dumbfuck.

2 degrees axillary.
1 degree temporal and otic
0 degrees oral and rectal.

Literally normal human body temp. Neck yourself faggot.

>38.61
>shit on the thermometer
I bet you're actually German.

in France, you should be dead right now

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Stick it in your ass pleb

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Proof that the corona-virus is FAKE: womenarestupid.site/blog/proof-that-the-coronavirus-is-fake

Was there a turd hanging halfway out your ass when you did this?

i had an oral reading of 104 6 weeks ago. went away in 24 hrs. hope you choke, fucko

Use an old thermometer next time and bite down into it. Let the mercury fill your mouth.

>add 3 degree to oral
W R O N G
R
O
N
G

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go take an ice bath
no, really, unless you want to carry a conversation like sleepy joe
spicy noggins melt your brain

fucking faggot

>YOURE SUPPOSED TO ADD 3 DEGREES TO IT
I have been doing this wrong my entire life.

Is it normal for my ear thermometer to read >2 degrees higher than my oral thermometer?

100.2 is not a fever you retard. Fever is 100.4 or higher.

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The friction of you diddling it in your arse for 10 minutes probably added a degree or 3.

That isnt a fever.

>Shit Yas Forums believe

Doctor here, do it faggot.

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>THATS AN ORAL READING TOO SO YOURE SUPPOSED TO ADD 3 DEGREES TO IT
is this related to the legendary common core American math?

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According to that reading it looks like youre retarded OP.

To get true temperature, hold it against the crook of your neck.

You mean he should stick it in his pooper?

Stick it in your peehole actually

(It is/was a b meme, youngin)

That's called a Terminator creampie

fucking hell. once again Americans and their schooling hey? haha.

even I know your temperature is normal man. fucking hell

I'm at 99.1, was 98.3 an hour ago. Wish me luck, anons.

fuck man
fuck

>med student here
Add 3.4 degrees technically

>supposed to add 3 degrees to it
Not to badtouch Bidenpost, but that's malarkey.