/cvg/ Corona Virus General #2442 Name our band edition

>ITALY 4207 INFECTED 475 DEAD
ITALY 4207 INFECTED 475 DEAD
>ITALY 4207 INFECTED 475 DEAD
ITALY 4207 INFECTED 475 DEAD

Holy fuck I didnt know it was this bad, how are you holding up ?

You know, they didn't just start with bats...

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My fellow Americans, remember to spend your Coronabucks IMMEDIATELY after trump awards them. Do not throw them to your savings, they'll be worth jack shit when the dollar collapses. You might as well buy material objects of actual value now.

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FRANCE UPDATE

+89 DEATHS
+1278 CASES

>+89 DEATHS
>+1278 CASES

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Not good but not great.

What will the close be lads?
I'm saying ~19200

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>Michigan has entered the chat

>US State Leaderboard
125 total deaths

>spreadsheet
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Ew6kD6FoclMwptcBb8i3JO9TA74yW3fpALbcjOGx6zE

>WA
54 deaths
>NY
20 deaths
>CA
15 deaths
>FL
7 deaths
>LA
6 deaths
>NJ
5 deaths
>CO, IN, OR, TX, VA
2 deaths
>GA, IL, KS, KY, MI, NV, SC, SD
1 death

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FRANCE

+1404 cases
+89 death

;)

>PREVIOUSLY, ON THE WIRE...

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my band is called the flu fighters.

>4,207 new cases and 475 new deaths in Italy.
How jealous are the British of their herd immunity right now?

Italian-American here. I've been fucking crushed by the news in Italy. These are my people, and I feel every death. I want to do something to help, but I've never even visited my homeland. What can I do? I want to go home and help out.

So much for your 'exponential' growth.

It's slowing down. Happening over.

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trump virus

18.8xx

Gaining value pretty rapidly rn

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Been praying my Rosary pretty fucking hard lately.

Post yfw you listened

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>wake up
>4207 cases 475 deaths in italy
>everyone is fucking dying
I unironically think that our civilisation is going to die and nothing will be the same.

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Does someone know or know a source for the median age if infected people in italy? I can only find the median age for deaths.

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Translated using the frog's translation.

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Army lockdown when?

Im a completely retard for this stockmarket shit but dow jones was 27 or 29k before coronachan and now is 18k how much time will it take to be back again to 29k?

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It's still worth it right bro's?
Sure your hopa will likely be born with:
>a tail
>and weak lungs
>probably look nothing like you
but hey at least he'll be good at math, right!?

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>never heard of the cuban missile crisis

Are these threads even worth reading anymore?

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when is this shit gonna be over so i can go back to the gym

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Kek

Better post the youtube at least
youtube.com/watch?v=UsP642RX9Yo
1:00

I wanna throw facts at my work's "crisis management team" to tell them to shut down the damn place. What documents should I toss at their dumb faces? Preferably studies that are verified a couple times over.

DOW IN A FREEFALL BELOW 19K

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I see VW are still managing the numbers

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19200 today
in the 18000s tomorrow
Massive pump to get it green on friday

Coronabucks? QRD I haven't been following the news

/r/ing for pic related to be the next op image

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3 years

H E R D G A N G
>H E R D G A N G
H E R D G A N G
>H E R D G A N G
youtube.com/watch?v=UsP642RX9Yo

What are you talking about? The meme virus killed less than 30 people. That's nothing considering the median age of the german population.

How fucked are the Dutch ?

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I love you friends

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How do people like you still exist?

New spam needed lad

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I wrote a song for /cvg/. I need an user to sing it for me

>EVERYBODY IS KUNG FLU FIGHTING
>Makes your death as fast as lightning
>In fact it's a little bit frightening
>When it's your chest that I am tightening

>There were dirty Chinamen, from dirty Wuhan town
>They were boiling up some bats
>And slurping guano down
>It's an ancient Chinese art
>Making tortured animal broth
>Everything tastes so great
>Until you start to cough

>EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FLU FIGHTING
>Your cruise just seemed so inviting
>Until it came to alighting
>On my shores for dining

>There's Winnie the Flu, blamin the US of A
>While coughing on TV
>Iranians claimed it was okay
>Then the Italians stepped it up
>Threw their arms out to the side
>Sang, "hug a chink today"
>Now 50% have died

>EVERYBODY IS KUNG FLU FIGHTING
>Tedros' palms are tightening
>His fever's a little bit ripening
>Due to the yuan that I'm providing

>Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, *cough*
>Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, *cough*
>Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, *hack*

>Now our boomers can't be saved,
>It's too late for Tommy Hanks
>With apocalyptic glare, a figure gives her thanks:
>To all you dirty Godless chinks,
>To bat asshole enslaved
>Coronachan lifts her head
>And says, "here comes the second wave"

>EVERYBODY IS KUNG FLU FIGHTING
>Your coughs are sharp as lightning
>Is that your will that you are writing?
>Leave your kids TP for wiping

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Fun fact about OP pic - it's upscaled used a neural network. Original picture was half that size.

Same with this one.

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if i didn't report taxes for 2019 will i get a 1g?

it's not a nothing burger is it................

fuck

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> nothing will be the same.
This will be true no matter what. Assuming this goes as bad as it could do, no one will be untouched by this.

We have to make sure to always remember the apathy of the governments and the greed of the shop owners.

Our health minister just collapsed, see webm.

Some very tough questions were asked, and he had to say we basically have a shortage of everything, and it isn't going to be fixed anytime soon.

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I am absolutely shitting it

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I JUST WANTED TO PLAY PERSONA 5 ROYAL
STOP THE HAPPENING

Even if it magically disappeared a week ago, the economy would still be irreversibly fucked.

Good luck, nothingburger fag.

GERMANY TOP 4 SOON!
FUCK YOU SPAIN

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Nigga, it's all people talk about on Yas Forums. Trump has convinced both parties to issue a stimulus of $1000 to every working American

>Yas Forums buys in
it should be "Yas Forums finally sells"

That’s because they stopped testing. Seriously. Two friends of mine got denied testing today after being diagnosed with „pneumonia“, despite having people at work who tested positive. They got sent home even without antibiotics (which they would have gotten if the doc actually thought it was pneumonia...) and told to go back to work on monday.

How are your filters doing? Still on the first set?

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Can someone buy me a game on PS4 so I can forget all this shit happening? I won't be able to get the UBI because it doesn't apply to NEETs

stay safe everyone

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Doesn't come close
A few nights of worry compared to systemic changes?

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why?

Still not convinced.

GOD I LOVE THIS BOARD YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

No idea. I'm an unpaid shill, not an accountant

>that corona-chan
oh mamma.
Also nice touch of that stupid book of Commmie Camus being memed between the normies.

lol

shut the fuck up jalter

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HOW MANY BOOMERS CORONA CHAN?????

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mfw thinking of all the grannies in Italia.

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If it gets hold in India, we're looking at hundreds of millions dead. Their hygiene is nonexistent.

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>respiratory masks are useless in the street
why do they keep lying about it? It's not stopping the urban gentlemen from stealing surgery masks at hospitals and nurses cars

Faking collapse just to get out of the questions. What a dick.

It took four years to hit 29k, yet only four weeks to erase all of those gains. It'll likely take years to meet that again, and that's best case scenario. If we go into a full blown economic depression, then who knows how long

Just lift at home bro
Use makeshift equipment

I like the part where only one guy in the room gives a fuck, kek. I'm guessing this minister isn't very well liked?

>When you realize a bioweapon, not a flu and your policies have likely infected millions already

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lol fucking niggers never change.

ching chong fuck china

averagely fucked. same growth rate as italy.

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>Since when were you under the impression that brexit was just exiting the EU?
Britain confirmed to be exiting from mortal plane of existence, based BoJo just delivering on his promise

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we never even tried, Trudeau said shutting borders was knee-jerk. Hes a colossal faggot and if family members die I will personally behead him. in minecraft.

Italy needs to call in some Assassins, they would jump around and kill all the infected via parkouring and stabbing.

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Depends. If it's slow and steady, it will take longer but likely last longer. If it jumps back up quickly, then it'll likely be just as probable to drop like a rock.

There is a reason the bump from 2016 dropped within months. It was a very fragile bubble.
money.cnn.com/2018/05/01/news/economy/us-economy-great-recession-recovery/index.html

MY CITY'S SUPERMARKET DOESN'T WANT TO OPEN THE SHOP IN SUNDAY BECAUSE IT WILL BE
>TOO EXPENSIVE
DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND
TOO
FUCKING
EPXENSIVE
THIS FUCKING CORONAVIRUS MADE ME MARXIST
IM A FUCKING MARXIST NOW
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Add the garter belts, user. Nothing sexier than a thigh squish combined with a garter belt.

epicentro.iss.it/coronavirus/bollettino/Infografica_18marzo ENG.pdf

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I lift way to much for anything around here to make me feel even a little strong

A few nights of worry of impending doom approaching.

Me and virus.

If anyone has any other foreign memes and translations I can edit them

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Italians going to the big pizza pie in the sky.

>It can't possibly go lower
This is Yas Forums we're talking about, ofc it can go lower

Love you

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I think he's just overworked...

There are some difficulties here and there, but overall, we are doing ok. Don't get decieved by numbers, we do massive testing and detect lots of mild cases. So far the hospitals are managing well, but our experts warn that we will get more severe cases. Lots of good measures were taken to be able to keep providing care for future severe cases and reduce the spread of infection.
Time will tell, if those measures are enough, but for now our health-system can treat everyone properly.

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Let's outfit is /fa/ as fuck, w2c?

bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-18/99-of-those-who-died-from-virus-had-other-illness-italy-says
Median age of infected is 63. For deaths it's 80.5.

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>215508 infected
>8888 dead
>OMG THE END IS NIGH!
stop shilling this stupid bullshit already, this faggot little pandemic won't cause an extinction level event

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local print shop in FL

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Spray bottle + 1/3 cup bleach per 1 gallon of water OR 2 tablespoons bleach per 1 quart water. This will give you a 1000+ ppm disinfecting solution.

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Central Florida here.
Just got an emergency message.
Multiple people at dad's work tested positive.
Guy he set next to on plane who works in Italy.
AND HERE WE GO

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If the german who wanted to know who makes these is still here, the maker is @willwildart

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do normies know about corona chan

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The virus was a bio weapon that broke containment!

Will these work? Probably not....

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I wanted to say below 19 but I think there's a dribble of ink left in the printer

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someone wanna post all the tits?

Fuck those old whores with the roast beef pussys.

Trump really fucked up by playing the 'just a flu bro' card for so long. Having said that i think we can all get behind the idea of mass deaths of burgers and chinks.

mom works at a hospital. Today they had a power outtage. This never happened before in 20 years. Also all vaccines for pneumnonia are gone, we got the last one for my dad who is 71. Next weeks will be brutal hang on.

Hopefully from being overworked and sleeping an hour or two in the past week. Could also be a stroke.

You can't catch a disease if you catch a bullet first!

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Going to have to get a 2 stage cascade chiller pumping isopropanol to keep that printing press cool

twitter.com/PhdParody/status/1240349022734503944

So let's hear it /cvg/, what's in the pits?

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Too much rough homosex last night. It's endemic in there.

>Also, why new epidemic are not starting in China?
Chinks are just starting their second wave now. They are desperately trying to conceal it.

twitter.com/jenniferatntd/status/1239195945465786372
^^^video 13 march shows man trying to get medical care for his mother who he thinks had a heart attack. Watch for the time / date to be shown in the video by observer's cell phone slid in front of filming cell.

The chinks are scouring the countryside for poorfag chinks to work in the factories. They are moving people around desperate to get back to production. Only thing that's happening is they're spreading the virus.

>Germany pulling ahead of France again
Fuck, we were so close to breaking into the top 5 for total case numbers

how is everyone enjoying the happening?
i am getting tired of it myself.

Yup. Not even a bit clogged.

yes

Thank you based user! I send you immunity.

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>hips and thighs getting bigger
NOW WE'RE TALKING.

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>Chinese laboratory safety

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Noice

THIS IS THE FIRST WAVE

SEE YOU IN WINTER AGAIN ANONS!

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Where to get hazmat suit

>azithromycin used to treat bacterial infections more specifically mycobacterium

The mycobacterium connection is the ultimate fusion between the phagepill and the newly revised swissanon mycopill.

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Absolute state of america holy fuck

>hyphenated American

Yes please go home

PROTECT SOFIA LOREN

PROTECT HER WITH YOUR LIFE, ITALIANS

no one died during that

We have high testing density and testing capacity.
We never stopped contact tracing and testing contacts.
Our system detects asymptomatic and mild cases and we provide good care for our patients.

We need a new board for this Chink plague situation.

How it should be named?

Is it satirical at this point?

Sure but what do you do once you run out

Fuck off at least we have a strong stock market.