Brit/pol/

Lads, were all going to die arent we. Hold me brit/pol/

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check out this nigger tune lads
this is where I live for 20+years
apparently the frontline
look at this larping nigga
all the big dealers round here are pakis
someone got shot round the corner
police everywhere, 3 wogs just got arrested
reporting from the middle of England

youtube.com/watch?v=IaQjlagBnG0

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Go to the cinema while you still can.

anyone got a film request? i’m bored

We had a good run m8

I'm the fuel rationing lad from yesterday, my friend that works in Cash Management said banks and the LINK network are also reporting cash machines are running low because the normies are draining them.

Expect the government to shut these down, I wouldn't bother to get cash out as it be worth fuck all and its a vector to transfer the virus.

>that username
top lel

Only if you're a boomer or have AIDS or asthma.

You getting shitfaced tonight?

Not, you see, enough, commas in, that post, which he, needed to use.

Madagascar

the death of Stalin
shin Godzilla

At this point I will go kick Eddie in with the hopes that he will batter me and kille me forever

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anyone whoever felt or intimated that they would have fought in ww1 with the boys
apply for hospital jobs right now
like me, the king

Still no source?

these aren't very confident speakers tbqh

Missus is just back from her shift at the hospital is saying that they had a staff meeting today and that it's supposed to be particularly bad this weekend with unspecified additional government restrictions rolling out on Friday.

Take from that what you will. I can't prove any of it sorry, just passing what she said on. She said that they were not told what is actually happening on Friday so I cannot help out there.

no

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Hyena road. Not watching youre shit stream but its a top film. Its got route clearence in so itll be right up your alley.

>and its a vector to transfer the virus.
Going to get some cash out then. Might give some to the homeless.

both noice, shin godzilla especially was great

Death Race 2000

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nah can’t be arsed with army shit

Master and Commander

brokeback mountain

I wanted to go to see the Baroque exhibition at the Tate and now I'm not sure it's even safe to go into London...

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Honestly, what is closing the schools down going to do? There's already 3,000 confirmed infected in the country, and likely thousands more unconfirmed. All this does is let the kids go wherever the fuck they want, which increases the risk of the disease spreading if anything. Seems fucking mental to me.

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WHERE IS CHRIS WHITTY????

DID HE GET KUNG FLU??

Ice Age

they thought he was a zombie so they shot him

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DOUBLE THE POZZ
theargus.co.uk/news/18315523.coronavirus-lloyd-russell-moyle-mp-tests-positive-covid-19/

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Why the fuck is Beth Rigby lying saying thee tube is full its fucking empty all the time now and cinemas are closing. Gyms are limiting entry.

She wants complete lockeown the bitch

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You're a known liar

Should of said Hacksaw Ridge

Has literally anything good ever come from China, all leaders of the world should just agree to nuke it tbqh

kids dont go outside anymore they play fortnite

expect stabbings too shoot up in london though

Was life always this mental with happenings or is this just a recent thing since 2016?
I can't remember anything of significance happening since i was born with the exception of 9/11

Nowts changed then?

AHAHAHHAHA 1/3 OF DEATHS IN LONDON AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

FUCKING MENTAL PARTY DOON THE TOON LADS THILE THOSE CUNTS DIE

youtube.com/watch?v=T1urq4Vb0XM

What are you saying? ALL kids go to school, if they're carrying it, then it leaves all their parents and/or grandparents vulnerable. They're better off all going wherever they like rather than all going to the same place.

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Can’t complain it’s a month off in South Africa

Information spreads worldwide in nanoseconds these days. That's a big reason for all the panic and hysteria.

saw my first two corona road rages today also nobody cares about speed limits or parking anymore,

Tate's shut anyway lad. Walking around an empty London would actually be interesting and not dangerous if you don't touch anything.

lads

I'm gonna phone in sick tomorrow and get 14 days off. What should I say?

>Was life always this mental
No the 90s were the peak of western civilisation and we have been on a steep downward trajectory since

they have cute girls

this
social media was a mistake

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BASED

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No lockdown just yet.

Boooooooo.

>Agile way of going forward
Im getting flashbacks from work bros

I already have a few men scoped out, i've not approached them yet but I have a feeling they'll be amenable.

>gunpowder.png

downwards pressure, upwards trajectory

My gym has shut, I'm researching bodyweight exercises. The virus is a gains goblin.

Being as vague as possible for the cancellation of exams i see

Sussex lad only you can understand me

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corona would be a blessing for gazza

>My gym has shut, I'm researching bodyweight exercises. The virus is a gains goblin.
Puregym says no more than 100 people at a time

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>Y-YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER T-THIS I-I-IS AN INVISIBLE E-ENEMY
>I'M THE CHURCHILL TO THIS VIRUS'S HITLER! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!

checked, user must now deliver by sucking off two cowboys.

Your helmet turned blue.

we wunt be druv

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I think it will be soon, they need to prepare for the fucking firestorm of wonderful diverse communities who will likely react when the news comes out.

What happens to people in Year 11 at the end of their time? Do they just come back in for exams next year, but are they going college or not what the fuck

>most unlikely to get it again
WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THIS

He'd just sleep the cunt off

It started with a kissss

Watching Boris lads. He looks a bit fucked, like he hasn't slept in days and maybe also been crying.

Dont stain that nice jumper with blood lad, put that absolute weapon away.

vagueness again, that's sure to help the panic and economic uncertainty

Amen.

it's over and I'm glad it's over

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youtube.com/watch?v=IaQjlagBnG0

do you think I'm in a good spot for the apocalypse?

Are you going to snuggle someone nice?

Not like gcse's mean anything

fuck you

based

youtu.be/NHPMWAoAQVI

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I'm guessing they'll just use predicted grades

yeah i wish they used more practical suits though

so do the japs and they don't cause pandemics

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fuck Boris and fuck the police.

>extermination disguised as empathy
Nice. Not sure Coronachan is going to do much to them, though.
They've already got pretty much everything else, and that hasn't killed em.

Lol they stay in year 11 for another twelve months by the looks of it

If you live in London I would say get out of the M25 area now.

you disgust me, pathetic weaklings

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nope

Say you've got a dry cough, raspy breahting and a slight temp that's been keeping you from sleeping, you called 111 and they've strongly advised you self isolate and that you contact them again should it get worse, if they ask "Where could you have got it from?" say that you know someone whos self isolating now and had been abroad recently.

SHE COUGHED, IT'S OVER

his buffoonish enthusiasm -- gone

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/mar/18/london-coronavirus-lockdown-tougher-measures

Nowhere to go m8

can't wait to gut the media establishments tbdesu

they will become tradies and hairdressers

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feeling grateful for grandad's bayonet rn

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How the fuck do I get toilet roll? I'm going to run out soon and whenever I go into Tesco they're out, there are no other shops for miles. I can't even go first thing in the morning since it's reserved for old people

british gas mans still fucking about in the gas box at 5:40

whats goin on

Will the kids stay home or just run about?
I'm guessing they'll just run about pretending this is a very long holiday.

desu wish I were 5 years younger, would be fun.

Stocked up on about 2 months (could strectch further) of food last month but might have been a bit silly as loads of it is soup.

1917 i’ll put on

A level student here, I'm fukin set if they just use predicted grades

Boris shaking his head at that exam question hahahaha

Gavin williamson absolutely fucked him over with the annoucement to close schools at the same time

is there legal mechanism to actually enforce a lockdown here?

Probably the same as if you get a serious illness part way through your course. They use your existing coursework and exams and give you a grade based on that.

No m8s or family anywhere else?

this, londoners in britpol need to fortify there dwellings and hope for the best.

Dunno why they're only banging on about Year 11 students, It's the ones doing their A levels and third year/ last year uni students who are getting fucked over the most

Use water like the asians ffs

Doesn't matter mate.
There won't be a job to go back to.

Same, look at my great-grandad's sword

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clapham has fallen

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SHE JUST COOFED INTO HER ELBOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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coventry

Same. I got a couple of crappy dumbells and a bench but no bar. Time to start the calisthenics again. Check out the madbarz stuff, plans are pay but if you image search most of them are there.

self employed taxi drivers with kids

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use newspaper

When I went down the shops earlier I saw 3 kids sharing a giant bottle of cola. They joked that they should find glasses as the took turns swigging from the bottle.

>newspaper
>kitchen roll
>Bits of old rag
Use your imagination, it's only relatively recently that this product has existed. (I've got loads.)

this Also Contagion

I'm generally not wild about overuse of CG but I thought they mostly got away with it in that. Nothing seemed overly 'floaty'

This. Shit's about to go down hard in the Crapital.
Boris
>doesn't want to go into too many details in a rapidly shifting situation, but the emergency services are ready and able to cope with any other problems the virus might raise up outside the, er, the NHS...aaand any further steps the government needs to take in this regard have been considered. We will take whatever measures we need to to make sure the people of london remain safe during this period...yada yada
GET OUT! NOW!

The only heirloom weapon in my family is a USAF combat knife from the 60s, no fucking idea how we ended up with it

that bitch just coughed

the video is from coventry

>A level student here
Fucking hell, this is the standard in brit/pol/ now. Emokiddeh would be rolling in his Subway-marked grave if he could see this sight to his beloved general.

Soup is a god tier cutting food. 200 calories a tin and fills you for hours.

Poor Eddie. You need snuggles.

Boris delayed his announcement until Gav had made his because the Speaker kicked off at Rishi Sunak the other day for announcing his money thing at the presser before telling Parliament.

i’ve put 1917 on instead

most of the spads at no10 are self isolating.

If you're sick you only get 7 days isolation, if someone in your house is sick you get 14 days. Say whoever is living with you has a cough.

There will be by the weekend

eddie wants putting in a wheelie bin

Should I put it in the bin afterwards? Won't they clog the pipe

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Boris is stumbling

I've got asthma, goodbye my niggas

>tfw london hospital doctor

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you can do GCSE and A level exams at any time, you just have to pay for it

yeah it wasn't that bad, more of a shame really.

Ah I see, yeah well that will probably go to shit as well, same as Brum and Manchester.

Like the 2011 riots, it started in London then spread due to the chavs copying it because they saw some video on BBM, this time the police and security forces wont take any shit because of the current situation.

Just self isolate until August.

>wiping flannels
>wiping dirty clothes
>wiping your arse on the grass
>wiping with leaves
>wiping with paper you don't use
>using your shower head
wiping with your fingers while continuously washing them in the sink (if the sink is in reachable distance while you're on the toilet)
|>

How does one select which neighbour is best to eat. Am i looking for a fat wench, muscly guy, old, young, what ?

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Yes, put it in the bin, or you could even put the rags in the washing machine. I can't believe you are asking Yas Forums how to wipe your arse.

My dad is a boomer, has asthma and has smoked all his adult life. Also, he hits the hard stuff a lot these days. He gets this virus, he's fucked.

agile is a load of shit, boring brain numbing shit.

"we rule nothing out"-boris

they look like kids that would mean it's the cadets

Solid movie. Honestly, I'd be just as interested in seeing a documentary on how it was made as the movie itself.

Threads

he dont look to well.

There's plenty of normal rural and suburb areas within the M25

Don't forget that there is a list with most of our names and addresses somewhere because we took our meme posting a little too far and got flagged. During the madness that's to come we'll be getting put in these 'infected' camps because even though we're all NEETs who self-isolated and lived comfy, we are somehow 'infected'

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putting their hands up like they were in school

rip lad, nice knowing you.

Hopefully the police or army will airlift you off the roof of a hospital helipad.

>here is your waifu bro

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Satantango
good film

yeah we're definitely getting martial law soon

1.Tear the newspaper sheets into a size you are comfortable with
2.Scrunch up each sheet well to soften it
(you will be glad you did, believe me)
3. use 2 or 3 pieces at a time to prevent shitfinger
(even bogroll is 2 ply user)

tanks on the motorway
twitter.com/tavernier_uk/status/1240040159938306057

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exactly (didn't know it was for A levels too though)
This academic year for uni students has been shite, only 14 out of 40 weeks or some shit have actually had classes going, rest has been taken away by strikes and chink flu

Yeah and those nice areas in Surrey and Hertfordshire will be the second place the nogs and xenos head to once they have ransacked JJB Sports and Currys.

almost certainly the police and military in your area are talking about what to do Friday-Monday.