/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2143 CRASH SOON edition

boomers are a hivemind

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New numbers... you can guess what's what.

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that's 50% increase compared to yesterday's figures
SHIT'S GETTING REAL LADS

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AHAHAHAHWHAWHA

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Please buy stocks.

It's a nothing burger. Only old people. there is a cure.

I hope Yas Forums is doing fi- never mind

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Colombia closing borders today

nationalpost.com/pmn/health-pmn/colombia-will-block-entry-by-all-non-residents-from-monday-to-stop-coronavirus-3/amp

Is it over yet?

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probably not, but its fun to see how unprepared the world is for when the actual end-of-humanity-virus shows up

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Current Canadian situation.

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lmfao that shit gets better with each and every edit

your sheer size and low population density slowed the growth, but once it gets in the big cities then it's ogre

1st for BOOG

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I should have bought more beer.

It is a fantastic time to have no assets

Fuck off Bill Mitchell nobody here likes you

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It hasn't even begun

Most people are they don't really think for themselves they just look at what others are doing and emulate their actions.

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Curfew and complete isolation may happen tonight, stay tuned for Maqueron's allocution

WHY HASNT MY UNI SHUT DOWN YET

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We all are going to die!
*panic intensifies*
Stupid Jewtin put on a nationwide quarantine already!

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Doesn't Canada have a chink cunt as its health minister?

My sister intentionally coughed on my now I’ve been having a cough, high fever, sore throat. What do?

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you're a part of the herd

Now that we have all accepted the seriousness of this virus and the devastation it will cause it is time to turn our attention to China. The vile pest that has inflicted such hard times upon us. What is to be done as retribution? Economically we can easily cripple them with sanctions. But that is not enough. They deserve far worse.

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When do the burger market open?!
Are my myckeydick mcburgery dollarydoos safe?

fucking moros and sudakas were the majority of people assaulting lidl and mercadonas
I saw one disgusting paki buying something like 50 packs of toilet paper

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My uni just cancelled everything until May. This shit is really serious. And the government reported only 63 cases so far.

Something about infecting herds of cows or something mate.

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I hope the stock markets nose dives again so I can invest more

rape her to give her the virus back, that's what they do in Africa

Aside ginger and curcuma, Should i put garlic in my immunity tea ?

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get absolutely fucked, someone deck that bitch. Someone's Baka/Dida are probably going to die of dysentery now

f that, im waiting for shit to hit the floor then im locking it in ahaha

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where's the reset button

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APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW CAPITALIST PIGS

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Which one?
We only received notice that lectures may be online.

RUSSIA +30
SUPERMARKETS STARTING TO FEEL THE IMPACT
SHIT'S GETTING REAL
YOU WOULD HAVE MADE IT IF YOU LISTENED

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If you actually believe that this virus is of chinese origin, bioweapon or not, you are braindead.
America created Corona-chan to punish China, Italy, Iran and Russia for "Silk Way" project.
I can bet my anal virginity that mutts already have the cure. They will release it as soon as economy of said countries is destroyed and population crippled.

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NUKE CHINA NOW

>What is to be done as retribution?
Clearly an all-out nuclear strike is the best option at this point in time.

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who /magicflu/ here

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>he didn't liquidize all his stonk yet

"teaching continues as usual but we are constantly reviewing this" REVIEW FASTER AND CLOSE MINE TOO

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Thread theme: youtube.com/watch?v=xAOMEqMXiXI

getting desperate?
good it was your kind that sold our home to jews, now live with the consequences race traitor.

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>there are hundreds of thousands of people who don't know how to cook
HAHAHAHAHA

REEEE THIS VIRUS WILL KILL US ALL, YOURE A SHILL IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME

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Legault totally bought himself another term in Quebec
I have to check in on my mother who lives alone and has mild dementia so I get to chat with all the boomers who live around her and they're all mad at Trudeau and happy Legault is doing something.

Doesn't change the fact Montreal is fucked and needs to be immediately quarantined though.

go back to /asp/

>Gary's dead
lol, still dead
How many days has he been dead?
Four days? Five days?

>archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

>archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

>archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

>archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/

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Uh the county where Pittsburgh is (Allegheny) ordered only emergency personnel to report into work. It's much worse than you think.

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Fuck chinks fuck ur virus
>wait 4 fuckin months, tomorrow would be the day i finally can go to earclinic
>get a call, sorry cus coronavirus ur appointment is cancelled, if we dont call back until june, register a new time
fuckin hope we all die

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Will this fucking retard ever wake up and smell the ashes?

alright, now make "I can get no desinfection" by the rolling stones

Saint Petersburg state university here - all presencial classes cancelled as of today

Based

>they had commercial air travel in 1918
why do I even bother responding, this boomer has to be pretending to be retarded

Never change Bill.

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BOGGED

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not if he can get retweets from this

Eat shit then.

>itchy anus
>sensitive nipples
>burning pee
guys... i'm not going to make it i think

Yes, benificial for your heart and also an antiviral

God I wish I was an animu gurl

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tfw no blackpilled uni

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Get back to real world lad. Such fantasies are bad for your health

>Don't know how to cook
Are americans really this incapable?
I mean really?
They can't even use the google for recepies?

So Putin will lockdown Russia too?

12 MINUTES

Is it true that retards are going out on st.patricks day

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>Poland handling it better than most of western countries

i can't believe how hard you guys fucked up

What's wrong with your ear aon?

Kinda, boat mostly for Trump to kill the Fed

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>cant cook
How can someone not know how to cook?
Just put things in pot, add water, spices and boil for some time and voilà, food.
These people really are incompetent at being alive.

all the (((big banks))) and (((IT companies))) moved to remote work but i still need to show up tomorrow to sort remote work shit like IP telephony out. Gonna try going at 1 and leaving at 5, hopefully not many people on the metro then

CNBC live stream for those who want to watch the market crash
123news.tv/cnbc-live-stream/

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Bill Mitchell is such a retard that he actually believes China's numbers.

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SHOULD I JUST QUIT MY JOB OR WHAT?

ALSO WENT TO AN INLAWS YESTERDAY HE WAS SICK SO WE GOT TALKING ABOUT COVID19

HE TELLS ME 2 WEEKS AGO HE HAD A BUSINESS MEETING DOWN STATE HERE. WHERE THEY HAD A CLUSTER. 2 W E E K S AGO. HES SICK NOW. 14 DAYS LATER

IM SO PISSED HE STILL THINKS ITS A NOTHING BURGER

WELL THIS MORNING MY 2 YEAR OLD WOKE UP COUGHING HARD AND HAS A FEVER OF 101°F

WHAT DO I DO? THE HOSPITALS WONT ANSWER MY CALLS

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Fuck, anyone got the China containment compilation with The Man Comes Around saved? It got removed from here invidio.us/watch?v=z32xSK90JmU

93 already

>denmark shuts borders

Yeah, unless you're a fucking untermensch seeking asylum.. Then they're open. Fucking retarded.

roll for extinction

skullsplitting tinnitus in both ears, higher the stress louder this shit is

And i should care about braindead zombies who can't cook - why, exactly?

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Are we RIP?

just went to the supermarkets around the corner
Aldi
no more noodles or rice AT ALL, canned food is some there tuna is practically untouched just as canned veggies
Rewe
only 2 articles of Noodles, Rice, sugar or flour per trip there was still a good amount left canned food is GONE just scraps at this point
vegan section fully stocked

i dunno people but i was so giddy that shit got cleared it's fucking hilarious
got fat stocks for months and them faggots are fighting for scraps
sorry got a bit blogpost-ish

It's not just the boomers. There's few people who think Legault isn't doing the right thing. He's probably the world leader who's been handling this the best so far, apart from those of South Korea and Taiwan.

At least the pedos are happy
They get to draw kids in skimpy skirts

You are already dead

Her grandkids will share a big inheritance

I have worked 7 days in my facility that has had Corona positive patients and started COOFIN this morning. F.

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This is seriously a good chunk of Americans living in a big city. When I was in Uni I lived in Milwaukee. Nobody in the dorms knew how to cook, couldn't cook in the dorms. Ate out every single meal.
56% say they eat out 2-3 times a week.

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movies for coronavirus feels?

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I don't know how bad it needs to get before I can walk outside wearing this without feeling self conscious

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If there's one boomer that I wanted dead in all of this its him

Some restrictions have been made since January, and plans for wuhan style ones have been made, but not yet implemented

Western governments are sclerotic and hollow, the rest of EE will do better too.

>get your boomer remover here

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I hope he tweets how he loses his mind in the near future. Shit would be hilarious

>me in 10 minutes

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As with everything in burgerland you get the extremes. Many millions very capable of looking after themselves when shtf. And at the other end of the spectrum people like this clown who can't function if their wifi goes down for an hour.

LEARN TO COOK THEN YOU ZOOMER BITCH
GOOGLE IT, LITERALLY

>Would you like a pot of mayonnaise with that?
Like, seriously... what is she gonna do with that quantity of TP? What the fuck?

dalmatinskiportal.hr/zivot/splitsko-stanje-uma-ova-fotografija-s-porukom-se-siri-drustvenim-mrezama/60752

28 days later a must

>Americans can't cook alone

You must be kidding me.

I'm an accountant and technically have to show up but I told my boss to call me if he needs anything but I'm not going in to sit about my desk like a retard.

>Nobody in the dorms knew how to cook, couldn't cook in the dorms.
Jesus Christ, this is sad.

My mouth hurts and dentists are closed please take me corona-chan

Hope your little one gets better. Not fair on the little people to have to deal with this.

I could do without the seizure though

Source? I live in Pittsburgh and this isn't happening. Restaurants are closed though

Thousands of people who can't fucking read either, evidently. Last time I checked, the bag of rice had cooking instructions on the back of it. Something like

>Boil 2 cups of water
>Add 1 cup of rice
>Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes

My favorite meal I call "Dog food" and it's just boiled vegetables diced up into little 1/4 in cubes with a steak or chicken breast fried, and then diced in the same manner. I put the meat and veg into a pot with some butter and fry it on medium-low while my rice is cooking and then I put it all together. It's a great way to get rid of leftovers too. Rice with salt, pepper and butter is delicious. I don't know what niggers and chinks are talking about saying white people can't cook. I'm convinced the lesser people's just can't appreciate the culinary excellence of salt, pepper and fresh ingredients.

Contagion 2011

POL TOLD ME KIDS ARE IMMUNE IT ONLY AFFECTS 90 YEAR OLDS WITH MESOTHELIOMA

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>123news.tv/cnbc-live-stream/
based

We should go to war. I'm ready for ww3

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wow

i wouldn't mind an asteroid impact right now

Actually really based if it keeps.
Call me a faggot, but bubble tea is really good and it’s perfect for drinking over a long period.

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It's people like this that will keep the rest of that neighborhood sane

F

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Yeah well they are all liberals who expect other people to take care of them, what do you expect?

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Don't tell anyone but France will undergo full lockdown by tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
Curfew at 18h, highway closed.

screenshot this and see for yourself later if you don't believe me.

My SPY puts will print more money than the fucking feds

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anyone got the 150k pic?

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those were the shills you utter retard.

Dude, what the fuck? Didn't Putin lock Russia down real early when this virus first appeared? This thing is unreal with how infectious it is. I hope this wakes people up to how much their own governments have fucked up for not having their shit together so soon.

Fukkatsu no Hi Virus

Based Japan, almost 2 months with corona-chan just 800 cases.

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I planned for this shit so well that I managed to get my six month dental check up a month ago. Full cleaning, xray, everything.

Thnaks ! i just crush it and put it in the boiling water ?

welt.de/vermischtes/article206580969/RKI-warnt-vor-Corona-Partys-Mehr-als-1000-Neuinfektionen-binnen-24-Stunden.html
>Mehr als 1000 neue Fälle an einem Tag - RKI warnt vor „Corona-Partys“
>Das Robert-Koch-Institut hat im Zuge der Ausbreitung des Coronavirus vor sogenannten Corona-Partys gewarnt. „Es ist nicht sinnvoll, anstatt in einen Club zu gehen, zu einer großen Party zu sich nach Hause einzuladen oder zu anderen Festen zu gehen, bei denen sich viele Menschen treffen“, erklärte RKI-Vize-Präsident Lars Schaade auf einer Pressekonferenz am Montagvormittag in Berlin.

Lmao Europeans are fucked.

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so pink, it's beautiful.

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Oh yeah, that's definitely coming today. The bump Trump's state of emergency address gave the Dow Jones is going to disappear entirely immediately. Expect two circuit breakers today.

restaurants are expensive as fuck anyway and you can still order food, what's the fucking problem

Chew on a clove.

In fairness he has a point. I'm a doomer and even I think the hysteria is getting too much.

If China's number are 1000 time great than they reported then it's still only 6% of their population.

Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

These threads are slowing down, eh? There's not much more to say bros. All we can do is watch and unfold. There's nothing to plan and prep for. There's no "holy shit Wuhan C02(?) levels spiking means mass deaths" to wonder about. We're right and truly fucked. Economic collapse will be the start of it.

archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/248351753

Remember, Dig to Stop Virus
And don't Dig to Keep Virus

O LUCIFER
the Devil
Satan

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I'm glad I always lived off campus and never had a meal plan, cooked most meals i ate.

kek

I don’t think it would shock anyone to be honest.
I’m waiting for every country on Earth to become try and become China now, I don’t think there will be any other option.

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Germany Bavaria, Söder
>Hardware stores and garden centers are classified as vital and will remain open well beyond March 18th, 2018.
back in you cagie wagie xD
>fml no payed leave because some has to keep the infrastructure service running..

based

same but what does this have to do with corona virus?

Are there any other countries buying into the herd immunity meme beside UK and France?

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People were in pubs last right up until closing. If no one goes out they will at least still have parties.
>They failed the global IQ test.

yes, i remember in january reading that, putin was the first to close borders with china.

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Remember anons, if you get sick, tell the hospital you hung out with people that came back from holiday in italy. It's the only way you'll get tested or treated.

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It affects everyone. The only reason you're not hearing about it is because governments around the world are hiding it big time to not spread even more panic. Also we don't know how it affects young children in the long run. Many say that young children are safe from this, but who knows how this will affect them as they grow up.

Australia.

I was a Trump supporter until this virus ordeal.

It's basically 100% sugar, user.
Diabetes is one of the worst comorbidities to have.

It was on WPXI last night. Pic related is the link I sent to my boss last night. It only links to their live page now. Sorry that's all I got.

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2007 (H1N5):
>4chn: Bird flu! kill the world. yay!
2009 (H1N1):
>4chn: Yay! Go bird flu, go!!!
2016 (ebloa)
>4chn: Yay! Go ebola-chan!!
2020 (Corona):
4chn: Yay! Go, coro...OH FUCKEDDY FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

>when the larps get real.png

That goes up to 100% really fast. Even if they did manage to contain it, all it takes is one Corona-chan infected person to infect them all again. It's over.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>Imagine her coofing that onto your dick and then giving you a handjob
Thanks for giving me a new fetish, user.

Don't panic. Give him/her some vitamin C and get lots of rest. Keep trying to reach the hospital. Maybe call a smaller clinic and ask them what they recommend.

how based can one country be

They are too scared.

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"And then I woke up."

5 MORE MINUTES
>5 MORE MINUTES
5 MORE MINUTES
>5 MORE MINUTES
5 MORE MINUTES
>5 MORE MINUTES
5 MORE MINUTES
>5 MORE MINUTES
LIVESTREAM
youtube.com/watch?v=Yq32e53ZJ7Q&feature=push-lsb&attr_tag=JcLopi09LMHtPQm-:6
youtube.com/watch?v=Yq32e53ZJ7Q&feature=push-lsb&attr_tag=JcLopi09LMHtPQm-:6
youtube.com/watch?v=Yq32e53ZJ7Q&feature=push-lsb&attr_tag=JcLopi09LMHtPQm-:6

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Sorry for typos

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NOW I'M GONNA SHOW YOU MY SECRET TECHNIQUE

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Okay.
You're a faggot.

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>the entire world bases the statistics on chinks
>nobody thinks that chinks can lie
why?

In Spain, about 30k tests done, 9k positives. They are only testing people with already other diseases and low level popular puppets, like politicians or journalist.

Bird flu didn't have a cute anime waifu tho... isn't it?

> The average person uses 1 roll per day
how much do you shit per day? jesus

China lied.

China's official numbers are bullshit.
It's way worse than they have been letting on.

exactly. loving it.

those are mostly servants of the people coming back from their modest swiss, italian ski holiday

Fake. please tell me that's fake.

yes please someone remove this flashing, it hurts my eyes

YEE!!!!

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Glow harder, nigger.

Yep, all there is to do now is watch the cards get played out, at least until a dangerous mutation occurs or a vaccine hits the market in some months time.

>ebola
>2014
okay newfag

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

why would they jsut go to official sources and lie?
check mate kraut

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To the moon!

Say. It. With. Me.
PODEMOS

Lol in Italy is still almost perfectly exponential

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Amazon still selling cook books if these fuckers can even read.

Someone explain, what is going to happen there?

>That's actually a good sign because it means you guys aren't retarded and value testing and honest reporting
In for Spain least deaths per infected

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Any legit news coming out of China lately? How bad is the situation there? Surely there has to be some brave soul over there that got some real news out for the real world.

gonna post this in some comments on kikebook
>Vi se smijete ljudima što kupuju toliko toalet papira ali vi zapravo nemate dovoljno za sebe. Prosječna osoba iskoristi 1 rolu dnevno. Ako imate četveročlanu obitelj to je 28 rola tjedno. Preko 100 mjesečno. Toalet papir če biti vrijedan kao zlato u sljedećim mjesecima jer ga svi trebaju

Imagine how many rights and freedoms they are going to strip away after this. Flying was bad enough after 911. Now you will likely need a full fucking medical check before even stepping onto a plane.

how did the markets do overnight?

It's the great unravelling.

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> YALAHHHHHU AHKBAAARRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I imagine that's how this opening is going to go, double digits maybe?

Same. Fuck that orange nigger.

>don't know how to cook
this is bait right?

>be me
>think to get a crossbow because shitty nogunz country
>couple at the weapon shop
>they buy several hundrets 30.06 rounds
>oc for ""hunting""
>mfw

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Even the UK isn't (just the government).
Rode round my town centre on a pushbike last night about 8pm.
Should be busy as fuck, but it's a ghost town (south coast tourist resort). A few pubs and bars were open, blasting music. But there were only 1 or 2 people inside. Most pubs were shut.
Expect many, many "sicknote phonecalls" from parents saying little winston can't come to school today, no matter what Boris says.

Bro just wipe your ass in the shower bro.

France is even worse.

lol. The iPhone speaks to you now, you don't need to be able to read.

The only thing trust worthy so far is the scientists

"Not knowing how to cook" aside, how do we really cook anything when buying perishable goods is a non-option?

3 minutes lol

China's numbers are a complete fabrication. Apply the curves of Spain or Italy to China's initial numbers to see how bad things really are.

>Feed the goyim another """"virus""""" so we can make millions on the stock market and selling retards TP.

All according to plan

burger stock market is opening in 2 minutes

That's almost exclusively tourists returning from Shitaly and other Euro countries. Of course we can't deny them entry, but they're quarantined.

That's exactly what I was thinking. It's all a scare tactic to force people to give up even more of their freedoms.

agreed

I'm going to use newspapers.
What are these people that spent their cash on TP going to trade?
One scoop of charmin TP for two scoops off brand TP?

fuck man why does this make me rock hard do you have more

>I don't know what niggers and chinks are talking about saying white people can't cook
they're simply trying to express how bad they feel because our superiority makes them feel bad
don't expect them to tell the truth, that is exclusively a white man's trait

You'd have an easier time listing countries that AREN'T lying at this point. China is just more blatant about it.

Sweden is officially going for slowing down spread but we're doing less than France and about the same as the UK.

We will be the next Italy not even because of our aging population, but because Irish people are physically incapable of not going for a pint.

OPEN OPEN OPEN OPEN OPEN OPEN!!!

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No it's not.

It opens in 17.

>market opens
>instantly hits 1 breaker and stops for 15 minutes

hunting raiders who come for their TP

China are shooting infected.

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Can I get a JUST Bill Mitchell please

Only The Great Depression 2.0 if you're lucky.

we had a confirmed case at our college and they only shut for a few days for 'deep cleaning'

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What exactly did Trump do wrong that other state leaders did right?

Hunting little preper boys like yourself. :)

>>ebola
That was when this place thought it was a fun toy to play with.
Ebola has been around a while.

Then what? Are people going to storm the building to buy/sell?

That was already obvious one month ago...

>>they buy several hundrets 30.06 rounds
>>oc for ""hunting""
I was in a store the other day getting some ammo. Dude in front of me was buying 2k .223 rounds. We were openly talking about shooting raiders. Imagine being in Europe rn

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It's over, user... It's over.

RIP

Clearly this dance represents his claim to the outside world, it is now his. Trespassers will be forcibly infected.

Sorry Ivan. When you nuke us just make sure you get all the kikes.

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qz.com/1818606/alex-jones-ordered-to-stop-selling-fake-coronavirus-cures/
>New York State attorney general Letitia James has ordered right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to stop making misleading claims about supposed coronavirus cures sold on his website, InfoWars.
>The attorney general’s office “is extremely concerned” about Jones hawking these products on his online show, it said in a cease-and-desist letter dated March 12. The products include a “nano-silver” toothpaste, which Jones said “kills the whole SARS-corona family at point-blank range.”
That explains where those silver faggots suddenly came from some days ago.

>yfw conservatives are getting their own base killed off by shilling useless products and saying it's a nothingburger flu

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comfy if true

Airlines will be bankrupt soon.

Lots of hot hosties looking for work. Will see a big uptick in camwhores.