I can't believe I ran out of fucking toilet paper

remember when you laughed at venezuela

It’s all gone around here. I live in a retirement town and the old people are buying everything

Next time we have Scott 1000's, I'm getting a stock for the next Jewish virus.

Should've stocked up, they say the average American uses one roll per day

> Iran out of toilet paper
Just let them borrow from Iraq maybe?

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Bidet

If you're really in a pinch go to any auto parts store and get these. Soft enough to use as tp.

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Time to wipe you ass with the washington post or if you have to the new york post.

>1ply
Really nigga?

I gotcha buddy

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Smaller stores. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry will hit a Walmart or SHARTget when little holes in the wall are likely stashed with precious buttwipe.

I ran out weeks ago

family of four

Just use your fucking hand. I do it all the time. Wipe and wash. There's still soap and running water.

>borrow a roll from a restaurant or gas station
Do this but remember to return it when you're done.

Get yourself an professional strength plunger with a titanium handle. Those will seriously clog your pipes.

Just shit first and bend your dick back and pee on your butthole like a hose. Been doing this all my life.

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why does this have to make me laugh?

Just clean your ass in the shower if you’re desperate

I can't take 4 showers a day dude

1 roll a day to keep the doctor away brother

you must eat a lot bro

>make fun of fat boomers buying toilet paper
>laugh so hard I forget to buy any myself

BROS MY ASS ITCHES!!

nigga just use your hand like the middle east

shit in the woods wipe with leaves problem solved

Honestly though if you can’t make an 8 pack of double ply last more than 4 months you should probably see a doctor.

Fuck this. I was in jail and went thru a roll that was 3/4 empty. Had to make it last for 2 days. Still had enough TP for the rest of the week. I have mounds of TP because i'm unironically a coupon clipper and has shit to do with this virus. Too bad I can't sell a roll for $50 next week without the fascist state arresting me.

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Then fucking get some mo--oh wait...

Also you could just go to a corner store or tavern and shove the toilet paper in the bathroom under your shirt and jog out the door if you are that desperate.

Just go get one of those loofah sponge things on a stick in the body wash section. Keep it in a bucket of water next to the toilet. If it was good enough for the romans then you can make due with it for a little while in a pinch.

that's the fate you chose

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You in west herr new york lockport area? I've got rolls and I'll let you have a roll for 2 dollars, limit 5 rolls.

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Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

you mean communist state fuckO

You have been visited by dog, TP will be plentiful to you if you cross this post. bless.

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Same but I bought a bidet a few days ago. Should be here soon.

One roll per day? What on Earth do you eat????

For you poorfags who didn't prep, I'm currently selling preowned toilet toilt paper for a bargain 50 cents a sheet. It was originally white but now has a brown stripe that most people find aesthetic.

yah you did shit ass

Jokes on you, I use a squirt bottle and wash cloth to dry.

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Oy vey, but I'll have no profit.

India too, they wipe with their left hand so doing anything with your left hand is offensive there.

The toilet paper itself of course.

>go to ghetto
I'll wipe with my hand, thanks.

if you know anybody who has hoarded excessive amounts of toilet paper you are within your rights to slash their tires and/or punch them in the face. Or desu you can even murder them, society will be better off if they are dead.

Supply and demand. Low supply demands creativity.

But who will buy my stock you anti semite.

you didn't realize you averaged a roll a day, did you?

I'm sure the mindless cow a few doors down has ya covered.

>The average person uses 1 roll per day
nigger what

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I am planning on doing this if i somehow run out. my big case of tp I always have shouldnt run out for a very long time, but if it does, ill wear a backpack in a public restroom and take one of those huge rolls.
>it looks fishy if youre a random grown man with a bookbag
I have a motorcycle. If im wearing my riding gear, my backpack wont get me a 2nd look. To be 100% stealth mode, wear full gear including a full helmet. they will have no idea who you are, camera wont matter and you can even take the purrel dispencer if you want.

All these dummies buying TP and ignoring publix HagenDaas and Ben&Jerry's 2 for 1 deal I've got ice cream for months

youtube.com/watch?v=-IrlhLF1c3k

based copypasta poster. how long are people going to buy this? its been posted in every coronachan thread for like 4 days

theyre still better off than venezuela even during the apocalypse kek