/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2116 - PANDEMIC EDITIONS

Heeyyyyu Garrryyy!!!! I'll check those didgets for you.

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>Corona-chan Vending Machine (money printer edition)
>v3: mega.nz/#F!iLBgGQgB!-bgtUnvelP_YBpZW1zcLMQ

Reply with new coronas.

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>land of the free

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Where is Boris?

Since Florida is filled with old people like Italy and US is on its way to Italy levels does this mean Florida will finally be wiped out

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i thank corona chan every day for the fact that i get to watch society crumble in real time

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>7 billion people in the world
>6400 dead
>OMG THE END IS NIGH!
stop shilling this stupid bullshit already, this faggot little virus won't cause a pandemic

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based

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post albine niggas

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Literally a flu being used as a democrat hoax

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>LATEST CHANGES
Italy +3,590 (+368) Iran +1,209 (+113) S. Korea +76 (+3) Spain +1,452 (+96) Germany +1,214 (+2) France +924 (+36) US +592 (+8) Switzerland +842 (+1) UK +251 (+14) Netherlands +176 (+8) Sweden +79 (+1) Denmark +28 (+1) Japan +35 (+2) Greece +103 (+1) Australia +52 (+2) Philippines +29 (+3) S. Marino +8 (+2) Algeria +9 (+1) Hungary +2 (+1) China +5 Norway +145 Belgium +197 Austria +205 Malaysia +190 Qatar +64 Canada +69 Cze. Rep. +64 Portugal +76 Finland +19 Singapore +14 Slovenia +38 Bahrain +2 Israel +20 Brazil +40 Iceland +19 Estonia +56 Ireland +41 H. Kong +7 Romania +16 Egypt +16 Poland +21 Iraq +14 S. Arabia +15 Indonesia +21 Thailand +32 India +12 Kuwait +8 Lebanon +6 UAE +13 Luxembourg +26 Chile +14 Peru +28 Russia +4 Slovakia +17 S. Africa +23 Taiwan +6 Vietnam +3 Pakistan +20 Bulgaria +10 Brunei +10 Croatia +10 Serbia +2 Argentina +1 Mexico +17 Albania +4 Ecuador +9 C. Rica +8 Colombia +10 Georgia +3 Cyprus +7 Latvia +4 Morocco +10 Armenia +6 Bosnia +3 Azerbaijan +4 Moldova +11 Oman +2 Malta +3 Tunisia +2 S. Lanka +8 Turkey +12 Venezuela +15 Afghanistan +5 Maldives +3 Cambodia +5 Lithuania +3 Macao +1 Faeroes +1 Jordan +9 Jamaica +2 Kazakhstan +3 Liechtenstein +3 Reunion +1 Ghana +4 Andorra +4 Rwanda +4 Guyana +3 Cameroon +1 Ivory C. +2 Ethiopia +3 Uzbekistan +4 B. Faso +1 Guam +3 Kenya +2 Seychelles +1 St. Lucia +1 Bahamas +1 Cen. Afr. Rep. +1 Congo +1… Total +12,500 (+663)

let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the FLOOOOOOOOOOR

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My-my-my-my Corona

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Bros how do I prevent myself from getting infected by corona chan, I’m young and strong so I’m not scared of dying or anything but I don’t want to be infertile.
>inb4 self quarantine

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>BRRRRRRR
AAAAAAAH
>BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

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Considering it's actually happening, what's the /comfy/:AHHHHH ratio on Yas Forums right now, you think??

>tfw not infected by corona chan yet

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literally just the flu lol

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>Wu-flu
>Yas Forums Happening
Alright , lads, I know you've been having fun being all Jungian & Hermetic, discovering how to tap into the collective unconscious to harness the attention of the masses to manifest your happening.
Well, people are dying, others are sick, economic depression is in motion & everyone's scared shitless.
You've had your fun Yas Forums.
Time to call off the habbening.
It's gone far enough

50% of people in ICU in Italy are under 50.

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What are the non essentials that you got extra of? I’m sitting on four 12packs or Mountain Dew rn.

Leading The Herd

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I'm sorry, but did Italy already lose?
Oh, that's right. The quarantine isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only halftime. Does having 24000+ cases and 400 deaths a day with absolutely no control over spreading chains count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the quarantine is still on? The Italians are still containing the virus right now and they have had the best doctors in the Mediterranean for how many years now? They're containing one of the weakest viruses who just happens to have a lead because it's feeding off the energy of 2000+ threads on a Malawi noodle appreciation board. But you know what? Coronavirus still fucking sucks. Italy is one of the best fucking countries in the EU, they went +1 million African migrants last year and would of won the world war if Mussolini didn't choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when Italy is declared to have achieved herd immunity and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Gooks just locked down their country when they got hundreds of new cases in a day, just like the Chinks did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Italy topics because you're an autist who doesn't like the country because they're good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking countries on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

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How is Yas Forums right now?

We are so fucked

Coronachan is afraid of toilet paper so the more you have the more likely she'll leave you alone. Anyone saying otherwise is just trying to get more for themselves.

Gary with da digits

Have Italy released their numbers yet?

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FASTER MORE BRRRRRRRRRRRR

good shit

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2 questions faggots
Are highways to/from cities going to be closed in near future?
Sauce for virus staying in body and coming back to damage later?
Everyone around me thinks they'll coof a few times and become immune and done with it.

INB4 herd immunity

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I went to the supermarket (big queues), Im gonna make it???

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>"It's just a flu bro"
>"Go get a test done at your local walmart and then go back to work, it's just a flu bro, the test will always say negative, don't worry it's 100% accurate, thanks for giving google your data too"
>"No there is no need for quarantine or masks, masks dont even work"
>"Only 23 people at this time have been infected, the risk to americans remains low at this time"
>"So what, go catch it and then you will be immune to it, that's how the flu and common cold works"

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Czech Republic under lockdown for a week. People should only go outside for food, meds or work.

Faster!

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Its has only just begun user

I replied in the other thread

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>go to the hospital
and infect other people with different critical conditions
based muttbrain

I found some!!!

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Amazing.

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Argiebro pls post the totals

let's have a lo-

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youtube.com/watch?v=3NDMR4Hnpfo

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Quick. grab them all.

Lock yourself in a basement and play classic WoW all day.

Italy bros are you okay?

In absolute state of cope, I imagine

West Virginia can all go fuck themselves.

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>quarantine
>can go to park
somebody explain

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More people die from lemur bites every day

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► China 80,849 (3,199) ► International 88,304 (3,297): Italy 24,747 (1,809) Iran 13,938 (724) S. Korea 8,162 (75) Spain 7,843 (292) Germany 5,813 (11) France 5,423 (127) US 3,535 (65) Switzerland 2,217 (14) UK 1,391 (35) Norway 1,254 (3) Netherlands 1,135 (20) Sweden 1,040 (3) Belgium 886 (4) Denmark 864 (2) Austria 860 (1) Japan 839 (24) D. Princess 696 (7) Greece 331 (4) Canada 321 (1) Australia 300 (5) Slovenia 219 (1) Ireland 170 (2) H. Kong 149 (4) Philippines 140 (11) Egypt 126 (2) Poland 125 (3) Iraq 124 (10) Indonesia 117 (5) Thailand 114 (1) India 112 (2) S. Marino 109 (7) Lebanon 99 (3) Luxembourg 77 (1) Taiwan 59 (1) Bulgaria 51 (2) Algeria 48 (4) Argentina 46 (2) Panama 43 (1) Albania 42 (1) Ecuador 37 (2) Hungary 32 (1) Morocco 28 (1) Azerbaijan 23 (1) Guyana 4 (1) Ukraine 3 (1) Sudan 1 (1) Malaysia 428 Qatar 401 Cze. Rep. 253 Portugal 245 Finland 244 Singapore 226 Bahrain 214 Israel 213 Brazil 191 Iceland 180 Estonia 171 Romania 139 S. Arabia 118 Kuwait 112 UAE 98 Chile 75 Peru 71 Russia 63 Slovakia 61 S. Africa 61 Vietnam 56 Pakistan 53 Brunei 50 Croatia 49 Serbia 48 Mexico 43 Palestine 38 C. Rica 35 Colombia 34 Georgia 33 Cyprus 33 Latvia 30 Belarus 27 Armenia 26 Senegal 24 Bosnia 24 Moldova 23 Oman 22 Malta 21 Tunisia 20 Macedonia 19 S. Lanka 18 Turkey 18 Venezuela 17 Afghanistan 16 Maldives 13 Cambodia 12 Lithuania 12 Macao 11 Dom. Rep. 11 Faeroes 11 Jordan 10 Bolivia 10 Jamaica 10 Martinique 10 Kazakhstan 9 N. Zealand 8 Fr. Guiana 7 Liechtenstein 7 Paraguay 7 Reunion 7 Ghana 6 Uruguay 6 Andorra 5 Bangladesh 5 Rwanda 5 Cameroon 4 Ivory C. 4 Cuba 4 Ethiopia 4 P. Rico 4 Uzbekistan 4 B. Faso 3 Chan. Isl. 3 Fr. Polynesia 3 Guadeloupe 3 Guam 3 Honduras 3 Kenya 3 Seychelles 3 Monaco 2 Nigeria 2 Aruba 2 Curacao 2 Congo 2 Namibia 2 St. Lucia 2 St. Martin 2 Tri. & Tob. 2… Total 158/251

What are we doing with our monies now anons. Keep in banks? Take out? Burn it? Use it as bedding for rabbits?

almost 10k deaths

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Should I have tried to catch the virus early on?
Medical care is now overburdened in my country, and it will only get worse the following weeks. Old people are being let to their own devices (die), but I'm guessing the age for not receiving care will go down as infected numbers go up.
If I caught it early I would have received attention no problem.

Is it safe to go to shops to get more TP lads?

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lmao literally who?

TWO people have died of this in Lombardy under 40. Get a fuckin grip and stop panic mongering.

There's still plenty of tissues and paper towels in my area. It's the TP that's completely gone. Flushable wipes are starting to disappear too. East coast

Doomerfags answer for your crimes. Apologise to the Fed!

The market is going up uP UP!

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*thinning the herd

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Czech Republic under lockdown. 10 million people.

topkek

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>meanwhile in spain
youtube.com/watch?v=5Ig4G1s2TwI

bonus: instagram.com/p/B9xTN2IJumQ/?igshid=hp8g343wu7zp

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thetimes.co.uk/article/isis-issues-coronavirus-travel-advice-terrorists-should-avoid-europe-5m89dvjjw?fbclid=IwAR2mCBcducVbUeN_SVdi3i604-QHbdwltJYsZnn7Aa_BpbrR65Km0VwQnx8
>The Isis terrorist group is steering clear of Europe
>The group has issued a new set of “sharia directives” that instruct followers to “cover their mouths when yawning and sneezing” and to wash their hands regularly.
>“plague” described as a “torment sent by God on whomsoever He wills”. Another message notes: “Illnesses do not strike by themselves but by the command and decree of God.”
>“healthy should not enter the land of the epidemic and the afflicted should not exit from it”
>Iraq has already reported 101 cases of the coronavirus and 10 deaths.
archive.is/zMDxF

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WHAT DOES IT MEAN

twitter.com/CNBCnow/status/1239320269598134274

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Aquiring herd immunity. Unrelated, what happens if he overdoses on immunity and dies? Who's second in line?

that's not toilet paper

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>666 confirmed deaths today

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my what a weekend

shits so fast its blurring the whole image

Based

Any larpers know anyone who genuinely has the wuhuflu?

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Did anyone see Counterpart S2 finale? that's how the virus occurred.

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Quick question: why didn't the US use the WHO tests when they were available much earlier and would it have made much of a difference? Also why can we still not test everybody who wants a test?

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ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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I had a good laugh at it, so I won't be deleting it.

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i.imgur.com/jMjUEqm.gifv

meant NON-larpers

theres no guarantee strain 2 couldn't hit you after recover in 3 weeks

then you'd be double fucked

That's not the futures market. That market is literally closed.

HAND OVER YOUR TIPY

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HAPPENING

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I can't believe China killed Corona-chan

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Thank you you're the best

>Malaysia 428
suddenly #1 in ASEAN, what happened?

maturity v červenci

drink orange juice
stay healthy and positive minded

Got about 3 months of food stocked, got two wells for water, multiple weapons and ammo. Feeling comfy. How about you bros? How is everybody else riding out the storm?

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Brazil + 200
Brazil + 200
Brazil + 200
Brazil + 200
Brazil + 200

link please

Yeah sure.

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COUNTRY ROAADSSSSS

GIVE IT TO MEEE!!!!!

IT'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!1

MY ASSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Bread #666 had two 666 gets.

I would be more concerned about looters.

good

brrr

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I'm going to cum on the futures market

Wtf? Why have they just quit reporting? I don't believe this at all

Poland has only 125 cases and I don't know how to feel about this. Are here many more infected people or are we simply not enough tested.

look on Yas Forums for a laugh

Paper towels do not dissipate inw ater like toilet paper. If all you retards use that now, you WILL clog up your pipes and maybe the whole water treatment plants.

That op pic is making me crave coffee with whipped cream.

haha funny

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they can't buy back their company stock during the crash. seems actually kinda based tbf

the government is going to make it so that utilities and rent won't be charged during this outbreak and they'll make a program that will allow everyone to get paid while they self isolate at home, right?

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Did it say he died? It is possible to be young and hospitalized with this. Why the fuck do you think governments have taken all these measures.

TWO NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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only stock market is futures until japan opens in 1 bong 20 bings
crypto was up 30% until last week and now it's down 50%

Lmao, monopolies are dead. No wonder DOW is crashing.

thought you died fag

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They gave up.

It's barely starting...

S&P is still sub 5% yet they've been locked up for like 20 minutes now.

it might lucy, it might

Yes. You are already infected, so whatever.

From what I understand, The Who was taking its sweet ass time passing kits out. The US also sent some of the kits it made to 30 different countries.

gonna listen to stan rogers and drink whiskey until I die coofing lads

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checked

no.

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>good

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FASTER

>there's only 100 people left alive in china

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It will never not be funny.

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>Also why can we still not test everybody who wants a test?

not enough test ingredients aka "reagents", the chemical that extracts the dna from a cotton swab or from whatever to be able to test the sample iirc. There's apparently a few companies that produce them, one of them being in germany who have warehouses around the globe.

That's what's happening in (mainland) Europe, Satan

>Coronavirus Cases:169,522, Deaths:6,503, Recovered:76,611, >unrecovered:???, Figure it out. 'Just the flu bro'

TAKEE MEE HOMEEEE

u proslom threadu netko je rekao da ima u puli hs 200 eura po komadu
disi javi se

This motherfucker did this shit. Think about it
>has been very outspoken about depopulation
>has been caught euthanizing entire groups of people before
>virus kills off boomers
>renders young people unable to reproduce and contibute to the world population in the future
how did he get away with it

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lockdown looks comfy

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one pic says it all

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This is the official song for reading BNO updates.

youtube.com/watch?v=jRbKrAWmjaA
bnonews.com/index.php/2020/02/the-latest-coronavirus-cases/

MASSACHUSETTS:

- All schools closed

- Governor bans eating in restaurants

- Visitors banned from nursing homes

- Gatherings of more than 25 people banned, INCLUDING retail stores

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Guys I'm supposed to fly to Bogota in a few days. Should I go? If not what country in Latin America should I hunker down in?

Stock market crash and global depression only time when commies and fascists are cheering together

MASSACHUSETTS:

- All schools closed

- Governor bans eating in restaurants

- Visitors banned from nursing homes

- Gatherings of more than 25 people banned, INCLUDING retail stores

jesus fucking christ

no user. Only Zuul.

Biz has some good memes I must say
Shame I have no idea about stocks

You post this in every fucking thread.
GTFO!

Fuck im dead

time to go innaswamp

>bodies must be cremated
How much carbon emmission will come as a result of this?
Will we hear about it from greenies?

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Cunts here want us all to get it, just like the UK.

Better to have a million die than effect big business.

IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER
IT'S OVER
>IT'S OVER

theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/15/uk-coronavirus-crisis-to-last-until-spring-2021-and-could-see-79m-hospitalised

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Quads confirm it's just the flu

it already is a pandemic do you even know the definition faggot

the same way they all do. they control the world.

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/sp/ here. Thank you for this

Villain, or hero?

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough* HAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS IS LITERALLY THE END. WE ARE LIVING IN THE END TIMES

HAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* *cough* HAHAHAH

I bet you preppers think you're so smart. But the grocery stores are full of the one thing you forgot to buy: fresh fruit and vegetables. Can't believe you didn't even touch it baka

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BOOMER REMOVER

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hahahaha

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California going on lock down is the wake up call for the US!! "it's not just the flu" bro!
>bravo Newsom!!!!

zpravy.aktualne.cz/domaci/online-koronavirus-karantena-cesko/r~5ed4192666b311eab115ac1f6b220ee8/

Blacks are immune, so most of UK will be fine.

Except I was being sarcastic

First day here?

>(you) fell for bait

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AKA major vectors for spread

Audible fucking kek.

CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
> CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
> CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
> CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
> CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE
> CZECHIA WHOLE COUNTRY QUARANTAINE

People are allowed to go to work and one person per household to do groceries.

If I get infected I'm gonna make damn sure to infect as many other people as humanly possible.

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Will you even be able to? They might close everything down. Get ready to be stuck indefinitely in a foreign country

LMFAO
How does that shit even work for retail stores? People are still going to line up outside?

since they arent doing any social distancing wouldnt it burn through them faster?

>DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
>DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
>VACCINE EXCLUSIVELY TO AMERICA
VACCINE EXCLUSIVELY TO AMERICA
>DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
>DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
>VACCINE EXCLUSIVELY TO AMERICA
VACCINE EXCLUSIVELY TO AMERICA
>DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
>DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO BUY GERMAN VACCINE TEAM
>VACCINE EXCLUSIVELY TO AMERICA
VACCINE EXCLUSIVELY TO AMERICA

AHAHAAHA

Donald Trump literally tried to buy German sicentist team who are creating a vaccine at the moment and wanted all rights for the vacccine and the scientists for USA alone.

but they were like fuck no, we will stay here and create the vaccine for the whole world and not for the USA.

The German Health Ministry confirmed a report that Trump
>“offered large sums of money”
to the German pharmaceutical company CureVac to agree to sell rights to a possible coronavirus vaccine exclusively to America,
>“only for the US.”

cnbc.com/2020/03/15/coronavirus-germany-tries-to-stop-us-luring-away-firm-seeking-vaccine.html
reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-germany-vaccine/germanys-curevac-says-low-dose-coronavirus-vaccine-could-allow-for-mass-production-idUSKBN21036D
biopharmadive.com/news/curevac-coronavirus-replace-ceo-menichella/574015/
zdf.de/nachrichten/politik/coronavirus-impfstoff-konflikt-usa-deutschland-100.html
tagesschau.de/inland/corona-impfstoff-deutschland-usa-101.html

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But that's socialism. They MUST defy it and gather together to pray the virus away.

>Gatherings of more than 25 people banned
should be gatherings of 5 banned, based australia doing what we all should be doing.

I wish trump did the curfew thing.

Should I risk going to my uni library tomorrow lads?

The absolute state of women

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We are all dead here

Just hope I can go out relatively pain free

There is no hope

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hi newfag. welcome to /cvg/
hope you're not a nigger

Based Nippon

jstage.jst.go.jp/article/bst/14/1/14_2020.01047/_article

Does it bring joy to people inflicting pain on themselves in such barbaric manner?

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>Herd immunity

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HERD IMMUNITY LOOLL
HERD IMMUNITY LOOLL
HERD IMMUNITY LOOLL
HERD IMMUNITY LOOLL
HERD IMMUNITY LOOLL
HERD IMMUNITY LOOLL

is this the american version of the ebola song?

Yes there are definitely some nasty people making a profit from the pandemic. And even if it will be over, some restrictions of our freedom will stay :(

Nice "quarantine"

It expires nigger shit. Wouldn’t even last 300 days without been preserved

China has under control corona you fucking hysterical bitch

average temperature on my city is about 35 degree celsius (95 f) are we safer due to the hot climate? or how does that works

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Rip Old Dirty

>Dead: 6,494
lol, still only exponential growth.
How many days has it been stuck at exponential growth? Four days? Five days?

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One of the infected in Florida's black.

Remember that time you bought a bag of lettuce and it went to shit in one day?

Lol

holy fucking kek

trump is finished

to be fair you can freeze them...

supermarkets aren't subject to that though. Just came back from a big shopping

Paraguay 8 now

abc.com.py/nacionales/2020/03/15/ministerio-anuncia-octavo-caso-de-coronavirus-en-nuestro-pais/

>Gatherings of more than 25 people banned, INCLUDING retail stores
holy fuck this is escalating quickly

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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this time next month the US numbers are going to make Italy look like a nothingburger

I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

>THE GREAT FAUCI
THE GREAT FAUCI
>THE GREAT FAUCI
THE GREAT FAUCI
>THE GREAT FAUCI
THE GREAT FAUCI
>THE GREAT FAUCI
THE GREAT FAUCI
>THE GREAT FAUCI