/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2112 - PANDEMIC EDITIONS

HOW DO WE STILL NOT HAVE ANY GOOD STATISTICS
How many people required medical intervention on the diamond princess? What were their ages?

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JRTC and NTC cancelled for the US

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Zdar, taky jsem z Havířova
Nevím odkud ten případ je, doufám že to brzy někdo prozradí

stop buying so much!!
rEEEEe

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>0% interest and 10 trillion dollars
Will this fix the economy?

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>don't prepare
>just wash your penis and starve to death

infomercial get in here
youtube.com/watch?v=PQvbp6bDjoA

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Guy to the left of Trump looks like he's gonna fucking cry

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PLEASE RELAX
REMAIN CALM
DOUG FROM WALMART AND DOLLAR GENERAL HAVE GOT THIS

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Just relax bro

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Is there any chance to stop this ride? any at all?

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Who will Trump travel ban next?

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Is Trump delirious?

WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!WHAT ABOUT THE TEST KITS!!!

Listen here Jack, let me set you straight. This thing isn't going anywhere. Back in my day we didn't call it covid whatever; we called it the "Shanghai Shivers". I used to know a guy, went by the name Cornflake Jackson. Ol' Cornflake used to play guitar down at the pool hall. Here's the deal, fat: if Cornflake Jackson says the Shanghai Shivers, "Ain't no thang" you can take that to the bank, buckaroo. That's how I know you're full of shit. I'd punch your daughter straight in the mouth.

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Have you seen my friend Gavin?

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What the fuck is the point of this press briefing? He said fucking nothing.

He immediately flees. Lmao.

Name my band Yas Forumsacks

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jesus ahahah

Guys how can I protect myself and my dog when going for walks

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relax bro

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WHERE IS GARY ???????

This is going to end recorded history.

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China BTFO the west so hard with this virus.
We can't lockdown people without chimpouts
UK plan is the correct one

>The border goes trough Prague

I am totally okay with that

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To promote stocks

HE GONE NIGGA

THOSE REPORTERS LMAO

>doubling every 4 days confirmed
DOUBLING EVERY 4 DAYS CONFIRMED
>DOUBLING EVERY 4 days confirmed
DOUBLING EVERY 4 DAYS CONFIRMED
>DOUBLING EVERY 4 days confirmed
DOUBLING EVERY 4 DAYS CONFIRMED
>DOUBLING EVERY 4 days confirmed
DOUBLING EVERY 4 DAYS CONFIRMED
>DOUBLING EVERY 4 days confirmed
Everyone will get infected
End of april all of the planet will be infected
This is the end

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My small suburban New Jersey town of 11,000 gets its first case
>Was symptomatic for a week
>Everyone in this town is in a family
>That's 2,800 households
>One household (4) was spreading the infection for 12 days
>With a doubling rate of 3 days that's 32 households
>Not even taking into consideration the infected who haven't been coughirmed

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HE FUCKING LEFT

Not enough rice/10

This feels like the calm before the storm.

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What kind of press conference was it?

HE RAN. HAHAHAHAHH

INCREDIBLE VIRUS, TREMENDOUS CONTROL - MANY SUCH CASES!

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>That fucking explosion of questions and panicked yelling from the reporters
Holy shit, right out of a bioterror movie.

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MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT MR PRESIDENT

this, he's trying to prevent a crash tomorrow

nope.avi

No, this train has no brakes and it's heading straight towards hell

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>he's leaving just like that
FUCK YOU ORANGE MAN LITERALLY 10 MINUTES OF CORPORATE DICKSUCKING

i talked to a doctor and he says that its bullshit fake news being spread by the media and its really just influenza and pneumonia going around and it will be all over in 2 weeks. he said that its already over and done with in china.

so apparently this whole thing really was just a nothingburger flu

>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED>TRUMP JUST FUCKING DIPPED

>youtube.com/watch?v=_kNvcxwJVs4

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THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
>THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
>THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
>THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD
>THE MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD

kek'ed hard, go to shit mutt's

>Corona-chan Vending Machine (MR. PRESIDENT EAR RAPE edition)
>v3: mega.nz/#F!iLBgGQgB!-bgtUnvelP_YBpZW1zcLMQ

Send me new coronas please.

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lmao he outta there

Holy fuck that uproar from the press after Trump walked off stage. Like rabid fucking animals
>Y U CLOSE MY CLUBS NIBBA

If epidemic curves are really symmetric, it will go away as fast as it came.

It was supposed to be a warning, not a prophecy

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you are not white
stop shilling this, I bet you are the same faggot that spams "christians dont eat meat on friday" thread

Trump's speech reminds me of this comic

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>muh risk remains low
Jesus fucking christ

You mean this isn't what you asked for?

lone survivors

why take questions from this furious mob of retards shouting above each other? what an absolute circus.

>CARACAS ALERT
CARACAS ALERT
>CARACAS ALERT
CARACAS ALERT

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BARS AND RESTAURANTS CLOSE

IT'S OVER!!!

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Murcia is kill

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Went off stage to coof.
They’re betting he gets better and doesn’t die. Honest take.

>be trump
>I'm here to rally the markets
>leaves
Astounding.

>herd immunity plan

I'd like to shout out to my Britdong/Froggies/Merkle/Merifat bros

You guys had a good run

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Any other reports from Seattle?
twitter.com/scott_mintzer/status/1239290401904869376

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Even if they halted it, they still are lying their asses off about the numbers infected and dead, and caused it.

Though, other countries are lying too, of course.

>If its okay, I'm going to make some calls

>just relax

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real president is talking now

Failed damage control like this will accelerate panic especially at the stock market.
Economy is ded

Best news I've read all day! Thank you user, you are doing the Lord's work!

He really wanted to publicly suck (((corporate))) cock and brag about ZIRP so that markets are green. ZIRP and QE is not a good thing, being at zero interest is a bad sign.

NYC is going to explode
2 weeks is not a meme
Cuomo basically confirmed that whatever they do they are fucked

wash your hands is the modern equivalent of duck and cover.

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In case you were wondering what happened after chinks welded doors shut

mobile.twitter.com/jenniferatntd/status/1238900391456227330

Repeat after me: “I'm sorry Happooner, I should have listened“

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It is burning money until the corona thread passes.

>10 trillion
>just a band aid

fuck i love some parts of this timeline

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>LMAO STOCKS
>POOF
>Pence have to tell all the bad news
>random coof in the audience
fucking hell man

Going to the doctors tomorrow lads... I don't know what I have but it's tearing me apart. Hopefully Corona-chan put herself into my body and I get quarantined

The numbers are still matching up and we are soon to see a huge burst in the next couple days

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>cut tax rates
>Injecting $700 billion into the market
The madmen
How many times is the market gonna crash until all options will be done?

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SHOULD BARS AND RESTAURANTS CLOSE?!?!?!

Wait Trump just left?

AM I ALREADY DEAD??

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hi this is my first post on Yas Forums
is it happening?

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Based

Oh shut it. You're acting as if you're any better than them, when in reality your country is their bitch.

trump needs to be removed from office.

did the idiot doctor also acknowledge what measures china had to take to accomplish that?

I love you corona-chan, shut everything down riots now!

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>the risk remains low
cases/deaths rise 2x since last week.
>the risk remains low

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Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 7 roll per day. If you have a family of 5, that's 245 rolls a week. Nearly 1000 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

it was one big commercial first the FED praise then naming a list of companies

>WTF Y HE NO TELL EVERYONE TO PANIC!?!?!?

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ULTRA Based

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Is it priced in, or do you think Monday will be a crash?

This isn't looking good lads

I’ve only seen this from Italy. Don’t know how reliable it is. Very basic info

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At last.

This guy eats children’s feces, they say.

ITS WORKING JUST FINE

If patients don't gain immunity, how does such an epidemic ever end?

She's the ultimate destroyer.

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SEND HELP TO OUR SHITHOLE PLEASE

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Buy High Sell Low

> It's going to be there for a long time

was that a slip about coronavirus?

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this. a complete bungling.

We all are

Atropia stops for no virus!

hey girl on left side is blinking alot. is it morse

Florida man x Corona-chan fanfic when?

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WHY?
WHY THEY KEEP PUSHING THE FUCKING "DAY OF PRAY"?
ARE WE REALLY THAT FUCKED?

I've found some learning materials for you, go read wiki

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It happened already.

Is she hiding a hamburger in her forehead?

Remember when our national health officer said there was nothing to worry about because there are no direct flights from Wuhan?

>mobile.twitter.com/jenniferatntd/status/1238900391456227330

lol try that in america you'll get a 5.56 through the skull

god bless murica

Fuck off Satan.

BUY YOUR WEEKLY NEEDS!!!!!

HOARDERS = PRICE GOUGERS - PREPPERS!!!

WE WILL NOT FORGET!!!!!

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS!!!!!

Basically every country in Europe is heading towards an Italy type scenario, now most have taken serious measures but way too late.

I decided to check Flightradar, and realized we are fucked no matter what, our leaders have abandoned us. The economy is more important.

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With what is going on around the world not only in America i wouldn't be supprised if they stop trading altogether after Monday

>Retail will remain open
National shutdown inc

WHERE THE HELL IS FIRST PLATOON?

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based game

Wolf Grand Chili Preppers

Scott Mintzer
Brain
@scott_mintzer
·
38m
My colleague told me something else remarkable: COVID patients are not dying of lung disease.

This seems to be a very distinct syndrome, and in severe cases the pneumonia leads to ARDS, a condition in which the lungs leak fluid & the patient can’t breathe w/out a ventilator. /10
Scott Mintzer
Brain
@scott_mintzer
·
39m
But apparently the ARDS is not too severe, and they can manage people through that part of it.

Instead, after several days, the virus suddenly attacks the heart, causing it to precipitously fail. The myocarditis phase is savage and kills people within a day or two. /11

Yes it is, I've got a healthy house deposit and im under 30 with no underlying health conditions

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EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING
>EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING

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twitter.com/AwardsDarwin/status/1239213021769150465

Clown World.

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holy shit this is based

Iron curtain activated.

Chad Max

Bring me han solo

investing.com/indices/us-30-futures
Dow Futures at -1.36% atm..

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No point in prepping or buying masks, people will just burn you at the stake for it anyway putting all your work to waste. Your only real odds are to have bought a years supply of food back in January and then never left your house since, nor let on to anyone else what you're up to.

someone should do a vindicated happooner edit.

GUYS A STOCK MARKET FIGURE JUST CRASHED INTO MY HOUSE

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Brand. Fuck. Too much beer.

We are holding.

When small groups of people are geographically distant enough to preclude transmission.
Don't worry. It can't get all of us. BUt if it's that easily re-acquired, it could kick us back into a global dark age.

>They later 180'd completely and unironically apologized to the feminists
Gay.

serbia under lockdown
>military will guard the hospitals
>3 years prison if infected and dont quarantine yoursefl
>church will help fight this ilness
>in 72 hours all old ppl wont be allowed to leave house
jesus fucking christ we desirve to die

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only if you play with ASCII

Yes

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