Toilet Paper Shortage

I use an average of 10 sheets per shit. that's around 1 roll per month. you fags need to learn how to wipe efficiently or stop getting your assholes blown out.

Burgers

>not having a bidet

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>doesn't know how to use the three seashells
kys

Nice bait faggot.

Toilet paper is going to continue to be made. They are not shutting down grocery stores.
Problem is hoarders.

i have 106 rolls.
42 are super rolls.
i'm set

Oh no this is pretty much true especially in California. These faggots are really waking up at the crack of dawn to buy out all the fucking toilet paper. It is so fucking stupid, for the past 3 fucking days. How is all that going to help you? The vast majority of people are being retards because the media created this panic because they wanted a shit show. Honestly I hope this virus is the real deal. We deserve to be wiped out at this point.

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>bidet
Imagine enjoying a powerful stream of water, and other things, up your anus.
Faggot.

I hope you do get coronavirus. Or even just some random person shoots you. You deserve it.
All hoarders must hang.

The jokes on you, I've got a colostomy!

my family of 5 doesn't collectively use 1 a day. What are you on?

And btw, the only reason there is, or will be, a toilet paper shortage, is because of dimwitted faggots buying them en masse for cOrOnAvIrUs or whatever the fuck

The misinformed majority and media are at fault here and it's driving me up the fucking wall. I just want some basic items and maybe a little extra given the circumstances but no these fucking niggers have to buy all the toilet paper and pasta. If it collapses I'm just gonna shoot people for the fuck of it.

bought 2 months in the last week of January.

and they said i was crazy

If you use one roll a day your not average lard fuck
I use one roll every 3 weeks!

I use Quilted Northern Ultra Plush and I gotta say (pun not intended) that it's actually pretty shitty. I've had some rather firm and well quite frankly 'sticky' poops this week and I've found a flaw w/ QNUP. You see when I wipe the at least one ply layer always gets ripped off by my poop thus leaking a single ply layer of TP clinging to my shit. I wipe that shit and it just ends up making little tumbleweeds of feces and TP on my butt. I wipe and wipe until it's clean but then once the major business is resolved I have to sit there and try to pick out these little feces/TP balls from the hairs of my asshole. I sit there for five or more minutes just snatching and grabbing at these little man made dung balls until from what I can feel the job is done. I've considered buying another brand and I think this TP crisis will be the catalyst for me to find a poop pulverizing paper that will get the job done without leaving me sifting the squalid sectors of my sphincter for spheres of shit.

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How exactly are they dimwitted? Worst case scenario they don't have to buy toilet paper for a year.

I know this pasta is gayer than gay, but I actually know a fatfuck who uses one roll PER SHIT. I had to buy the worst cheapest tp i could find just for when he would visit my home. He was my best friend for over a decade but we recently ended our friendship due to his TDS and globohomo beliefs becoming too much for me.

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>he didn't listen
>now he has to go through the happening with a shitty anus
sucks to be you lmao

I went to the local Aldi today just to see what people are panic buying and I saw a woman with a cart full of nothing but crushed tomato cans and about a dozen bags of cane sugar.

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got a 24 pack of great northern and a bunch of paper towels

ever heard of something called u s i n g - y o u r - h a n d

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Proof that unused toilet paper brand new in the package is worth more in reality then twitter stock.

Daily reminder twitter stock is a ponzi scam.

Imagine being content with just wiping shit away from a body part instead of thoroughly washing it

This. You need at least 4 rolls to fry up a can of spam.
youtube.com/watch?v=-lf0nu4Ov0E

Most americans will jump in the shower if they shat all over themselfs, most of us are regular and fine with wiping and showering once a day morning or night

You can't even imagine lmao

this isn't a meme. People who know how to wipe their ass properly literally need hundreds of rolls a month. Otherwise you still have yellow and brown liquid dried to your ass hair and even though you don't smell it personally i guarantee you other people do, especially women

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damn son if you mix those in a jar and let it sit in the son for a month you actually get high off the goop that's created

>shit show
It might be

>mom panic buys powdered sugar and plain sugar
>I panic buy flour
>"gosh user why would you panic buy flour what are you going to do with it?"

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Fuck it was funny the first 10 times now it's just fucking homosexual

>It was funny the first 10 times
Honestlely u peoplel laugh at toiled baaber hoters, but u rly dont hab enough toiled baber yourselves. Da average person uses 1 roll per day. If u hab a family ob 4, dat's 28 rolls a week. Ober 100 a monf. Tp rolls wlell b worth dere weite in gold in a few monfs, bcuz ebery1 needs id

So let me get this straight. You were sitting at home and you thought to yourself, "I wonder what people are panic buying?" So you got dressed, put on shoes, and went out to your car. You got in and drove to your local grocery store. You got out, locked your car, and walked into the grocery store, and then you just sort of walked around and stared at people. This is what you did with your Saturday.

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I just use my hand to wipe and rinse it off in the sink afterward, checkmate consoomers

You're a sick fat person if you go over 1 roll a day, you deserve what you get

If mutts were self-aware, they would be buying toilet paper in bulk for re-selling, because they know other mutts have never heard of a bidet.

I brought 300 rolls of toilet paper and will be selling them. I will be charging people 20 bucks a roll.

Gotta go? Pay 20 bucks.

>toilet paper was essential to 200,000 years of human evolution thread.
>toilet paper didn't even exist prior 1900

just to be sure, you know that you should unroll the tp before using it?

HEY, WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU RETARDS!

The virus isn't just killing fat old boomers. No one is recovering. It hides in your nervous system and reemerges again when your immune system lets up. It does this again and again, wearing you down and scarring your lungs each time. That's why people are being released only to die later after being "reinfected".

WE ARE ALL FUCKED, do you understand? If you catch this virus you are absolutely fucked.

WHO does not include "recovered" in their reports, poorly defined
who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/situation-reports

New: "Recovered" drops dead, surge of reinfections
archive.is/MF0fv

28-Feb: Israeli "recovered" case tests positive again
archive.is/TV8DS

28-Feb: South Korea "recovered" case reinfected
archive.is/Gv1iu

27-Feb: Xuzhou first case reinfected weeks after "recovery"
archive.is/CuOtr

27-Feb: "Recovered" in Japan sick again: reinfected or dormant
archive.is/HjykE

26-Feb: 14% of "recovered" in Guangdong test positive again
archive.is/V6IgT

21-Feb: Patient reinfects himself after "recovery"
archive.is/8Ppkx

19-Feb: "There is a likelihood of relapse", expert says
archive.is/ABjjf

14-Feb: Reinfection possible and even deadlier
archive.is/Iw58p

31-Jan: Patients can get reinfected, no immunity after "recovery"
archive.is/W9vNf

Virus hides in neurons, indefinitely escapes recognition
archive.is/6NGuH

Virus invades nervous systems
archive.is/qmc6U

You're stealing Yas Forums posts? That's low, even for /pol.

Ice cream, cheese, hamburger, french fries, bacon, meatballs, milk, chocolates, and beer.

youtube.com/watch?v=anqxDq_nV9E

toilet paper presses are printing at the same if not a greater rate than MONEY.

We are about to approach a toilet paper CRASH the likes of which the world has never seen.

Toilet paper will be worth less than hyperinflated cash, which may very well be used in its place!

these are the beginning of the end of toilet paper as we know it!

Toilet paper presses, again, are working overtime to supply an inflated demand!

mark my words, within a few weeks, toilet paper will be overstocking shelves.

roll a day
Nigger faggot drippy anus detected

American cuisine gives you constant diarrhea.

>not buying enough toilet paper
you faggots are retarded

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Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average american uses one roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

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Just went to a local Metro at 3 AM to buy 30 kg (=60 lbs) of meat, but also took a picture for Yas Forums.

LOOK AT IT AND SALIVATE IN ENVY

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>The average person uses 1 roll per day.
wtf I don't even use a roll a week. stop having the runs every day

yeah i have 2.5 rolls and feel confident i'm supplied for at least a month, probably much more.

I thought this was finally my chance to live out my secret fetish, so I offered my girlfriend that if we ran out of toilet paper, I would compensate by using my tongue as her toilet paper but she said it was a disgusting joke but then I said it wasn't a joke and now she's all disgusted with me and angry

Only the most retarded normie NPCs are buying toilet paper.

I could literally wipe my ass with anything I find outside. I'd wipe my ass with a fucking wet rock before I panic buy toilet paper like a dumb faggot.

I cant believe it. When these people are starving to death, dying of illness, and getting raided, they will eat that toilet paper.

These stupid fucking nigger golems have no sense.

Dry food. Water. Guns. Medicine. All else is unnecessary luxury that will be looted or traded.

>1 roll per day
Americans truly are the shittiest species

>The average person uses 1 roll per day.

This shit again.

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It's at a point of national security

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Take the bidet pill.

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When he shows up, (you) gibs.

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Until 1960s we didn't even have toilet paper in USSR. I remember growing up in USSR, it was customary to put journals near a toilet and while you sat on it, you'd crumple the paper over and over again, because the more you did it, the more efficient it became in scratching shit off your ass. Toilet paper existed, but not a lot of people even considered buying it.

I love the NPC narration.

Top marks.

Pikata pikata for bunghole

what even is happening on that image?

>the average person uses 1 roll per day.

ok

I'm using crunply leaves.

sounds like someone is on their last roll of toilet paper

>The average person uses 1 roll per day.
Jesus Christ, how often do you shart yourself? I use a roll of toilet paper like every week.