/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2033

KILL MANKIND

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"Have symptoms but it's probably nothing" bros where you at?

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Make sure to give immunizations to your cats so they don't bleed out their butthole.

youtube.com/watch?v=ttTnZWafh9o

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What's the situation with te Chinese factories?

No. No come with me and ill show you the world

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Rolling for 3rd strain

HE DIDN'T COOF SO GOOD. NOW WHOEVER COOFS BEST WILL GET TO STAY ON MY PLANE

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Holy fuck, has he already moved to the acceptance stage? keke

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If you wipe fucking twice or more, please pic related before you get ass cancer!

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what are the chances this thing really does explode italy style in every major city? seems like they're locking it all down faster than the virus can blow up

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ACTUAL THREAD THEME
youtu.be/7cTS7iSNvUg?t=38

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This feels like a nothing burger lately, stock market recovered, number of deaths is dropping. But at the same time all major sporting events and the formula 1 has been cancelled costing hundreds of millions. I don't know who to believe anymore

Just a reminder that this virus started by animal to human transmission in China.

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Corona is weaker than the flu. Why are people on here panicking so much? Idiot Trump supporters fear mongering and spreading lies to rile people up

never change

EL SALVADOR PRESIDENT SEEKS EMERGENCY POWERS TO FIGHT CORONAVIRUS

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Imagine being born before 1960 lol retards

Please tell me that Linus is getting infected and I get the pleasure of watching him die life on youtube?

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well.

i had my ex girlfriend over....
and we had violent sex.

am i going to get the rona now? i know i should have just kept quarantining myself and bunkering, but i couldnt resist.

what the FUCK do i do now lads? i took an extra vitamin C packet, elderberry, disinfected almsot everything, and gargled with alcohol and warm saltwater to wash out the taste of her puss.

help.......................please.................fuck the virgins were right again...

A week ago I had a fever, chills, sore throat, and cough. I feel fine now tho.

This timeline is absolutely hilarious and keeps showing how the clown world truly fucked up is:
>The Pope slapping the faithful church followers
>Chinese eating batsoup and pozzing a quarter of the world, welding people doors afterward
>Middle easterns licking doorknobs as proof of faith, pozzing another quarter of the world
>Italians hugging sick chinks during a pandemic and pozzing the other half
>WHO with a general director used to cover up epidemics, declaring a pandemic 2 months late
>Spanish feminist and right wing demonstrations and rallies with politicians whom have tested positive days later.
>Americans and Aussie panic-buying TP instead of food
>Brits with their aplomb resorting on herd immunity strategy
>Finns emptying the shelves of bread for emergency rationing, not realizing shit will go bad in under a week
>Homesteaders acting like normal, since it's just another day for them
>US president literally more concerned with his approval ratings than with testing citizens, everyone he meet tested positive days later
Tests in USA must be made in a google website instead of a clinic
>NSW education department thinks keeping schools open will slow the spread of the virus
>MSM telling citizens that masks are ineffective at protecting against the virus while gubbermint hoarding every single one they can get their hands on
>Markets destroyed by the most microscopic bug possible
>Hordes of just-a-flu and nothingburgers apologist refuse to acknowledge their mistake
>Monkeys hordes attacking people in roving gangs as no more tourists to feed them
Feel free to add yours.

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27 CASES IN MEXICO
>27 CASES IN MEXICO
27 CASES IN MEXICO
>27 CASES IN MEXICO
27 CASES IN MEXICO
>27 CASES IN MEXICO
27 CASES IN MEXICO
>27 CASES IN MEXICO

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>tfw you are infected

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In other countries?
Yes.
In places like America, Britain or Canada?
Oh no.
No no no no no.
But give it 2-4 weeks.

>already accepting death
my fucking sides, i really want to map out his mental progression, but he just tweets so fucking much there is too much material

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It's already here. I already have it.
It is a nothing burger.

OR PREPARES HE'S WONDERING WHY SOMEONE WOULD COOF ON A MAN BEFORE THROWING THEM OUT OF A PLANE.

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Who the fuck uses one roll per day? Jesus fucking christ, eat a vegetable sometime!

Post yfw racist boomers are getting DABBED ON!
LMAO

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Q: Why have so many politicians, celebrities, and other wealthy persons been diagnosed with Coronavirus ?

A: Because they have been allowing them to get tested.

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>vitamin c packet and elderberry
Are you literally my aunt?

ITS BARELY STARTED KEK

singles confirm

go to fucking sleep already

>The average person uses 1 roll per day.
...

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>The average person uses 1 roll per day
Topkek

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The flu nowadays doesn't land 10% of cases in the hospital

The real theme
youtu.be/v1mQT1u_45I

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How many shits Americans take a day ? a roll probably lasts me 3-4 days and i shit 1-2 times a day, goddamn burgers

>15 days of being sick with a respiratory illness
>only getting worse
>junk in lungs getting worse, coughing so bad I'm seeing stars
>going back to hospital tomorrow

Oh god this is it isn't it

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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#acceptance
And scene.

what about you user, why are you still awake?
sending prayers to corona-chan?

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>US 2,269 (48)
>48
Lol. Still only 48.
How long has it been stuck at 48?
4 minutes? 5 minutes?

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Yeah from animals sold to the wet market from Wuhan's virology lab.

zerohedge.com/geopolitical/did-china-steal-coronavirus-canada-and-weaponize-it

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>Step 5: Acceptance
He finally accepted that his stocks have finally broken down. All those years of gainz lost. The fucking boomer bastard
Kek

SPORTSBALL ENTHUSIASTS BTFO
SPORTSBALL CANCELED
no handegg
no niggerhoop
no boringstick
no divegrass
no screamandswing

sportsball btfo

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how much will a gun improve my chances of survival?

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>going to the hospital to spread it
bury yourself a grave and go lie down in it, also vape some DMT

>his feels like a nothing burger lately, stock market recovered, number of deaths is dropping. But at the same time all major sporting events and the formula 1 has been cancelled costing hundreds of millions. I don't know who to believe a

The overreaction will be more devastating than the virus. They're pushing us right into a recession because we're being led by MSM panic and morons.

im celebrating user

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you deserve what's coming. you didn't follow CDC guidelines. who knows if she's been following the guidelines, you swapped spit with her, breathing on each other for however long you guys had sexx for.

>elderberry
Don't do this. It increases cytokine function which is not what you want with this virus.

THE COOF SPREADS..

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woke up lethargic and have a cough

already discovered

>1 roll per day
I forgot Americans literally shit everywhere

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possibly, stay strong

He didn't buy TP that's why he's having such a hard time coming to terms with the virus.

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>The average person uses 1 roll per day
If it's the $1/pack shit from Dollar General, sure. But the majority of normies get the 2-ply mega rolls because kikery. Those fuckers last a week at least.

>/sp/ getting btfo
>my fucking sides

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0% because achmed already cought in your Döner

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100% if you're willing to raid

wrong no one uses one roll per day you fucking piece of shit

>A week with flu like symptoms
>Dry cough and nasal congestion haven't gone away
>Felt a terrible headache today at uni, alongside short breath

This is it, am I a dead man walking?

literally gives me a hard on

Even if you have one it is illegal to shoot. Hand over your toilet paper.

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Normies are fucking despicable, why the fuck do they need to sing or play fucking loud music in the balconies, just fucking watch movies or play games, fucking brainless scum

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>1 roll per day
obese femanon confirmed

Coronavirus sucks as a name. So does covid 19. What's the true name Yas Forums?

>Current Year +5
>not masturbating into an old sock for months on end instead of $500 worth of TP

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I guess we'll see in the coming days if i take a turn for the worse.

from what i understand she's healthy. im in New Jersey where there havent really been any confirmed cases (nearby).

>everyone he meet tested positive days later
This is the clowniest one for me

>fat
you are dead bro

Roll for fourth strain then

If you suck your own dick and take Vitamin C (and swallow) every day for 2 weeks straight, you can’t get it. My uncle works at the CDC.

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>number of deaths is dropping
zombies?
In all seriousness you're a retard though.

Wash your asses already.

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me too, every hour while i'm still alive, i must pray for corona-chan, may her blessings reach every corner of the world and may she bring salvation to the tortured souls, controlled by kikes and their imaginary stockmarket numbers.
freedom awaits, corona-chan will bring it.

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LOOKNER HAS ZERO CHILL LMFAO

All 10 /sp/ anons on suicide watch

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Tom Hanks would sell his soul for his Jewish masters. I'd say he is just fine, probably never got the coronavirus, and just wants to help spread fear.

Just like Conor McGregor pretending his auntie died. Do you know anyone personally who has been diagnosed?

>Bill Mitchell tweeted something I agree with
Impressive.

Face it like, spainBro said
Santisima Virgen Maria, ruega por nosotros

This really is a nothingburger. Markets are rallying back to where they were weeks ago. Everything is getting shut down, which will prevent the virus from getting out of control. I think the fear mongering from this board inadvertently helped to pressure governments to do something.

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why the fuck isn't tom hanks fucking dead yet?

Has China/Italy shut down gas/water/electricity at all
This is what I'm most worried about

Lookner is pissed lmao

I think fatties have a better chance because they can literally live for months without food

a lot of people said it's fake.

immeasurably, you drooling retard. Why do you even need to ask?

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amen

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>he doesn't know how to use the three seashells
youtube.com/watch?v=gdnuOa7tDco

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No

Based and sportsball-pilled.

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GO GET YOUR OWN Yas Forums

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For those unable to pay the bills yeah

I'm starting to think so now

Literally me 3 weeks ago

Steve lookner losing his shit over trolls. So funny

>covers a single story for 20 minutes
>shows the same picture 10 times
>clearly wants trump to have it
>>lol you just dont like that trump might have, its my channel, go away!!!
the funniest thing is that he probably believes he truly is agenda free

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>Finns emptying the shelves of bread for emergency rationing, not realizing shit will go bad in under a week
You can actually make rusk out of it in the oven and it has a long shelf life. Although I suspect no one here does it.

>Steve blowing the fuck out of trumpanzees
holy shit based

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Of all the fags and pedos Hanks shoudnt be the one you should care about user, baka

LOOKNER ON FULL MELTDOWN
HIDE BUTTON IS BEING ACTIVATED
PLEASE COME PISS HIM OFF MORE
HE IS FREAKING OUT

>trying to fight the spread with prayers instead of precaution because you couldn't lose any shekels

Your mother's fake

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>got really sore throat Monday evening
>all Tuesday I feel nauseous and all around bad
>go to be 9:30pm (early for me)
>wake up Wednesday morning feeling good as new
Did I have the Coronavirus friends?

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Imagine the long nose tribe not getting their monthly tributes

Literally, right now.

>smoker
you're done

Bread doesn't go bad when it's freezed.

he's autistic so it's no wonder

I mean yeah it's true and 87 is a long life, but this is a far cry from the nothingburger posting Mitchell and the rest of maga inc. have been doing for the last 2 weeks

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HE DIDN'T THANK THE MODS ENOUGH

link

>New Jersey
>Coronavirus in NJ: 2 Woodbridge residents among 21 new cases Friday

>State health officials reported two "presumptive positive" cases of the coronavirus in Middlesex County as the statewide total increased to 50 on Friday.

>New cases also were also reported in Monmouth, Essex, Ocean, Mercer, Burlington, Morris, Bergen, Hudson and Passaic counties.

>mycentraljersey.com/story/news/health/2020/03/13/coronavirus-nj-middlesex-county-among-21-new-cases-friday/5043818002/

stay safe

good list have a deserved (you). Thoroughly enjoying every minute of this clown world escalation.

fatties have a really bad time with respiratory problems.

Get tested user, it's dormant if it is the Corona.

From what?

Wow.

that's a cold

Based

This.

Trying to play raider in a state where people own guns is like playing Russian roulette. If anyone so much as enters my backyard I'm getting 'em with my rifle

he's the piece that's gonna keep this happening going

I had a lamb and mint burger earlier. It was goood.

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t. smoker

What's wrong Mitch? I thought it was just the flu bro.

youtube.com/watch?v=WerQrC_QL-M

Based schizo poster, eat more cheese

CHECKED

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Coronavirus presents as a cold in young patients.

>27 CASES IN MEXICO & TOMORROW IS GONNA TAKE PLACE THE BIGGEST MUSIC FESTIVAL IN THE COUNTRY

27 CASES IN MEXICO & TOMORROW IS GONNA TAKE PLACE THE BIGGEST MUSIC FESTIVAL IN THE COUNTRY

>27 CASES IN MEXICO & TOMORROW IS GONNA TAKE PLACE THE BIGGEST MUSIC FESTIVAL IN THE COUNTRY

Fuck this retard country

Fuck, Hans. You are about 12 years too late. Your country is done.

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>GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT HAVE WE SEEN THE WORST OF THIS VIRUS
Just how stupid are you?
This virus is *novel* meaning that humanity has no herd immunity.
Not until every single person on earth has been exposed will we know how infectious it is.

Got some FMJ .17HMR for anybody that thinks a helmet will save them

He's been covering Trump handshakes and pictures of people with Trump since his earlier stream and has wasted hours covering nothing else, people have told him to move on and
>GUESS WHAAAATTTT ITTTTSSS MYYYY CHANNEL, I HIDE YOU NOW

Tie off your peq-14 to your rifle you dope.

He’s already accepted death

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OHO DERICIOUS BAT SOUP

Rolling? What for?

>Woman in UK just gave birth, she and her baby have tested positive for Coronavirus
Poor baby :(

I will laugh when this retard dies from his carelessness

Quit replying to this retarded fuck he posts this every thread.

the Wuhan plague

Number of deaths dropping? The number of people who died just today wouldve taken at least several days weeks ago

It's a collective work.

SARS2

I really wonder about the normies who watch Lookners stream. The ones who thank the mods. Do they have any idea who is watching Lookner with them?

Anybody have a spare suit?

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IRONMAN STILL HAPPENING IN CAMPECHE

we are so fucked.

>The average person uses 1 roll per day

Are you some kind of mega disgusting obsesse who only eats american fast food? God, all day shitting, you are full of shit, trully disgusting user

>15 new cases today
Mexicans are in for some real shit

Ask your president to close borders with the US now, just to pepper Trumps asshole.

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but a lot of jewtubers are saying that is fake

1. Just a flu
2. Have sex

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GUYS, FAZE IS INFECTED

THE E-CELEB YOUTUBE JEW IS FINALLY GOING DOWN.

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Is that a fucking Lemat revolver?

We're going down down in an earlier round
And sugar we're going down coofing

bumping just for the pic

yea the elite will get it 1st. thing is if they have something to combat it or now that will be distributed to certain individuals.

youtube.com/watch?v=q-Rqdgna3Yw

>Sportsball cancelled
>Pro wrestling still going without crowds in attendance
Pussies

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Wait wat

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ooohoo nooooouu I’m ronna cooof! *COOF* *COOF*

I have asthma and my lungs hurt plus sore throat and coughing. I am screwed.

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is it worth it bros?

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I just put mine in the fridge and it keeps for months

Good grief dude, what kind of a hole have you?

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maybe just start showering after shitting
whietoids walking around with their dirty asses are disgusting
fucking dogs are cleaner than the people who only wipe their asses

Had a scratch in my throat and was coofing quite a bit earlier today, but no fever and am fine now. Phew that was close

PLEASE, there's gotta be one user in here who can see the future. What's going on 3 month from now?!

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Democrats think it was racist when Trump shut down travel from China to the US in January and now the Democrats want to reverse his closure to the next most infected countries, the EU

F

Based. Now would be a good time to overthrow your disgusting government. Give KSK a call

make your own

Yeah.
imfdb.org/wiki/Twelve_Monkeys#LeMat_Revolver

Book yourself a flight to Israel.

Here's the "flatten the curve" strategy but with realistic numbers.

In other words, we're FUCKED

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youtube.com/watch?v=q-Rqdgna3Yw

>Nothing but a sore throat
>Some aches
>Sneezed earlier this morning

watch out that you activate the trigger that is near the nose part that can only be reached by long noses, or the filters won't activate.

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Fucl chinks

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checked. how?

people are getting more excited about the prospect of Trump having corona than they would be for a vaccine

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Frozen*

i doubt that niggers even understand the concept of taking a shower in the first place Jerome

and also fuck NIGGERS

>Democrats think it was racist when Trump shut down travel from China to the US in January and now the Democrats want to reverse his closure to the next most infected countries, the EU
Will do a summarize

My personal COVID-19 apocalypse shopping theme:

youtu.be/O_49H_N43jQ

let's get ready to PAAAAAAAAAAANIC!

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Who?

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He's coping. He was in denial and now is onto acceptance phase.

>1 roll per day
>family of 4 is 28 rolls per week
user you fucking retard, i have a family of six and a 28 pack lasts us a goos 2-3 months.
how big is your fucking asshole?

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The best kind of bait. An absolutely absurd premise disguised as an earnest rant about something else. I use about a roll and a half, myself.

BOOMER REMOVER

correct.

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I can add several from this clown shithole
>Health minister say corona will not reach here, a week later he say he was expecting it to reach later.
>Only suspects are people with fever and cough, goverment monkeys think rushing the flu vaccine will prevent cases, and that said vaccine is known to cause fever and cough as an inmune reaction.

To be honest, this hellhole (and several around the world) does deserve the pandemic, specially most of those retarded npc boomers and zoomers that practically enforce the clown world logic.

Daily reminder I’m going to lynch any stalker larper I see

UN is called upon to resolve dispute between US and China over blame shit.
Stalemate because of UN Security Council vetos. Propaganda from both sides.
Shit is pretty normal otherwise.

Yellow Death

I've had symptoms for about 2 months so either I'm in limbo or this is something else.

Someone please send him a donation saying "it's taking off in Israel, but this isn't the first time a communicable disease took out a few thousand of them"

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youtube.com/watch?v=q-Rqdgna3Yw
Like this?

He already saw it.

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It was borderline experimental tonight. Think it might be just as fun monday

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Kek

t. Baljeet

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the thing people miss is that it's much easier to flatten the curve than everyone thinks. slight decreases in population movement and interactions have exponentially larger effects on the curve.

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>toned abs

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hook, line, and sinker

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how times have changed.
nothingburgers, this is your fate

What happened to the Russian that escaped China? Was it really just a nothing borger?

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>People saying that the science won because religion can't cure a virus while this virus was created by science

EU OVER

Remember to remind the bongs to go and inhale the virus as their government has instructed them to

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I love how in an effort to keep your fucking faggot ass "happening" burning, you re-introduce fucking ancient info from months ago back into the OP. Nice try.

>"OMG ITLL ROT YER BRAIN!!!"
>"OMG 20 YEAR OLD OVERTAXED FUCKER DIES!!!"

You fucking losers

vaccines take longer to make, test, and distribute than the incubation period of corona-chan.

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based

Have you considered that power may go out and you will no longer have a functioning freezer?

Imagine matches just ripping thru the empty arena. Vince has imagined it.

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Good luck little duck
Post more lappland cutie

rate my stash

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Sincere question, why isn't Corona hitting africa yet?

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Spare the plague doctor bros and I'll help, user

We're done here, right?
Good luck usa you'll need it.
When you're a skinnyfat neet with no friends I'm not sure a gun will help you against packs of niggers.

One roll a day? What the hell is wrong with your ass

I'm Asian

Daily reminder to get excited for CoronaMania weekend. One month away lads.

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based meth oracle

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OH NONONONONONONO

AAAAAAAAAH

SHADMANVERSITY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING.

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>Still so many of my fellow burgers are treating this situation like a political argument to be won and not a crisis that we all have to solve.
And that's why we're fucked.

I just realized that I shoot BP and don't have a Lemat replica. going to change that soon.

got FSB'd

>get immunity

Funniest shit ever. SARS only gave you antibodies for a year at most. This will be coming around yearly until it's killed off.

How delusional are you to believe Africa has the capacity to test?

Whats every bodies sidearm of choice?

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I can't believe this shit is real

Truly, clown world.

>Roommate has the symptoms for the kung flu
>Other roommate's coworkers might have it
>I work right next to an airport
Too fucking bad there's no testing near me. Maybe if there was I'd call out of work for a few days and make sure I'm not giving everyone I work with the plague. Sadly for everyone else, testing in my state is a pipe dream so my only choices are to either call out of work and get punished or go to work and possibly give hundreds of people a disease.

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1911, no doubt

lmao

That just looks like a porn set or something, like a slightly higher quality ultimate surrender.

Hahaha chinks are infecting casino workers now, based

GOOD LUCK LITTLE DUCK!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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so Yas Forums once society collapses, what are your plans?

I wonder if the virus will reach a stage to where hospitals will be overwhelmed in first worlds. Will governments execute lockdowns in a timely matter before the pandemic can reach ever that level? It'll pretty much all collapse when co-chan reaches that level

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I worry about your alcohol supply

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based and Dante-pilled

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WHY ARE AMERICANS FUCKING STUPID

STOP HANDSHAKING PEOPLE WHO'S SICK, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

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Great OST, for me it's
youtube.com/watch?v=YNz2RnH6ClE

They started pumping out wine instead of water in Italy.

Woke up today with a sore throat a headache and I feel hot for fucks sake all I do is stay inside and I go out once two days ago

last one

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Depends on the level of fatty and of they catch it. A little bit of extra pudge might help the average person deal with the quarantine while making death still unlikely. Extremely overweight people will be in he'll if hit with the disease but if they dont they can basically stay in spot for months until the virus passes with little need for food. Gotta play the hand you have, no time for get Yas Forums now.

It is?

It'll be a bit slowed due to not much tourism, but it'll spread even harder.

Most local doctors there will just assume it's some form of pneumonia and they live or die. Antibiotics given.

>Health minister say corona will not reach here, a week later he say he was expecting it to reach later
Will add this

Wierd 360 considering he was just LARPING earlier.

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actual boomer

>coffe
good luck little duck