What the fuck, I thought it was just a meme

pay a hooker to wash your anus clean with a pleasant temperature water. They'll probably do it for like $25 a time when no clients.

Same way a blind person does

Don't.. just walk around with a greasy butthole. Save money..just wash your unders every few days.

>How the fuck am I supposed to wipe my ass now?

I have stacks of books that I've already read and have no use for. So I'm good.

Newspapers are plentiful lol

You poop in the toilet then get in the shower and wash your poopy butt.

alabama

take a shower after you shit

have you tried the hardware stores? what about pharmacies and dollar stores?

How are the dollar generals in your area?

Wet wipes, washcloth, or hop in the shower

Sandpaper

OP here, Colorado

They mail it to you in the form of advertisements.

Napkins, paper towels

Only moved here 5 months ago and now shit's hitting the fan.

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go to a public bathroom and steal the huge roll of toilet paper. problem solved

Thank assholes for turning Corona into something it never was

same as before, you dont

Is this a meme that I am too stockpiled to understand?

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Ya know this is why people don’t like blacks.

>Tfw I have a ton already cause I buy toilet paper twice a year in bulk
If you're in my area and don't mind paying about 100× the retail price I'll help you out

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Why would they build stores where people don't go?

paper towel product CEO's must be laughing up a storm right now

*Makes Happy paracetamol noises*

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use your hand and wipe it on someone like a MAN

That's what I did but it's not going to last long. I thought it was just fear mongering in the media but I went grocery shopping today and everywhere is packed

Not much different in Germany; these pics are from a supermarket in an upper class part from Frankfurt in Germany, taken today.

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>Now they’re shilling against vitamin c so GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND GET YOUR C
they're shilling against masks and pretending it's not airborne.

Office supply stores always carry TP but they're out too.

Same. Stores are fucking looted m9.

If you have a mom and pop shop or staples, go there

wait until monday when they get a fresh load.

Just use your sleeve. Nobody will know unless you do it in front of other people.

Do any americans even wipe? Just go shart in the walmart and wear it with pride like everyone else in your country

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Any sort of dollar stores in your area or a big lots?

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No need to be upset, after all it's nothing, right?

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You need to find a black guy to tongue your anus.

Rag on a stick?

It's called Tylenol you limey bastard

Steal it from work.

use soap and water retard

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Use right hand to wipe

good luck getting a plumber for your clogged drain. you will pay triple.

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Rural Utah here
We’re out in the stores. It’s gone.

Yeah, sorry, we not only wipe, we don't eat bats. Fuck off Chang.

>he doesn't know how to use the three seashells

Everyone is buying toilet paper!

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Top one is how Andre the Giant had to shit because he broke toilets.

Just soak napkins and use it as toilet paper. It snot that hard.

Use 3 sea shells

Sit on a carpet and drag yourself around by your feet.

Why are people frantically buying toilet paper? Literally just wash your ass.

>It's called Tylenol you limey bastard
Imagine paying 4 times the price just for a brand.

OK Boomer!

Factories are still making more. Pulp is cheaper than ever, there is no shortage, just unprepared grocers who don't want to stock large items that only return a few pennies.
You can get nearly same profit from a small can of beans, as from a big 4pack of TP on sale. You can pack 20 cans in that space.

Dog detected

where are you from breh?

Option #2 (kek) is more sanitary. I do this when I am severely constipated. There's something about the feeling of the warm water down my back that helps me just...let go in that special way.

I don't understand either. What got into people's heads? Why toilet paper? The problem is assholes buying it in bulk for no reason. I understand if you already do that, but why did everyone start doing so? What the fuck?

Hop into the shower and nigger wipe your ass.

Plebs

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Just shit in the shower like a normal person.

I come from England, friend.

All I see is a dead liver. What the fuck is that mess?

>we don't eat bats
You would if they were kosher and deep fried in soi oil you fucking mutt

If you really wanted to correct him you'd have said
>it's called acetaminophen you limey bastard

Supposedly the walmart and a few grocery stores near me are totally out of tp, paper towels, hand sanitizer, canned goods, meat, cereal, etc
Fucking retards

Ill just shit in the woods and wipe my ass on a tree at that point.

TP has been gone here in alabama for over a week now lol good luck with your small town gamble

Now post the flour aisle
The rice
The pasta
The cooking oil

Coworker is positive, there are 500+ ppl at this place. We are fucked

you may want to figure out your shitting issues

You know years ago (post ww2 etc) people would wipe their ass on the oldest newspaper.
The world ends because nobody can survive without soft ass wipes - the biggest KEK

these will be over the expiration date before u even use 2 packs

Tylenol is the African American name

Goodnight sweet prince.

I just wash my ass in the sink.

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>waah, mean round eye called me out for being asian
If they were Kosher, at least they'd be headed toward having some recorded health effects behind them. You dumb faggots steal everything, and then ignore how we got to this point.
It's cool with me, Chinks don't deserve what they steal, so if they can't keep themselves clean cause of their customs, so much the better that the thieves die choking.
You didn't get rid of Corona. As soon as you let people out it's gonna pop up again.

Are you a 750kg horse?

Wipe your ass with your hand then clean your hand off on your neighbors door knobs

You are doing it all wrong.
This is correct:
Btw your shit won't be that solid after months on cans and beans.

z blata do kaluze

kek have a Jannie lick your ass clean

LICK IT JANNIE

just go back tomorrow lol

the escalator hand rail

Don't worry. Once people realize this just means remote work and dead boomers a lot of people will get stuck with a ton of toilet paper taking up room.

>All I see is a dead liver. What the fuck is that mess?

Generic paracetamol, for around 30 - 50 pence per packet of 16 x 500 mg tablets. I have them for a chronic shoulder injury, but limit my consumption to 8 x 500mg per day (one strip)

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pro tip: go to a restaurant and shit there.

Not a meme. Walmart is a madhouse. I already stocked up on essentials but decides to pick up a few luxury items, too. This place is fucking PACKED.

I remember going to China years ago for vacation and walking around Tiananmen square the Reek of shit was overwhelming. Then I figured out that chinks just use sawdust toilets and basically shit on the floor in open air bathrooms. Then there's no toilet paper they use paper towels then put the shit smeared paper towels in dustbin next to the toilet. It's was the most 3rd world horrific shit. And that was in Beijing I shudder to think about the countryside they probably just shit their pants. No wonder they started this virus.

Order some TP online from Amazon, Walmart or Target. They've got plenty in stock.

lmao lay off the opiates bro

>these will be over the expiration date before u even use 2 packs

Not really. I get through 1 pack every 2 days.

There are foam plates right there retard.

thank god you circled that text. otherwise i wouldn't have read it because my tiny brain only reads things that are circled

Use your hands like a real man

Don't forget to wash your hands mate

My local store is fine. You must live near easily brainwashed retards.

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This can happen with any commodity, particularly one that's essential but produced at a slower rate like tp.
>Pandemic is habbening
>early paranoid preppers are more likely to be germaphobes and buy more toiletries
>toilet paper is not distributed at the same rate as other essentials due to low profit/volume ratio
>supplies on shelves go down slightly, maybe one or two stores sell out completely
>the media takes note of this and sensationalises it
>product acquires the impression of false scarcity
>NPCs observe media fearmongering and others panic buying
>feel obligated to conform

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heh I look down upon you while reading this

>Stop by for my usually weekly groceries run
>Full of boomers and niggers panic buying, no tp, bottled water or bread
I'll actually take back my earlier statement on this being a meme, tho the suspect the national emergency declaration just a few hours ago didn't help
Worth the 1.50 gas tho

>from mud to puddle
lol I'm not quite sure what to make of that, but I kinda like it.

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Ruralite here. Every store is out of toilet paper. Thankfully there were three things of paper towels left at one

Start tearing up books in your house.

Always

My shoulder got a direct strike from a 1984 Ford 1/4 ton. I couldn't lift my arm above my belly button. They rebuilt it, and it still locks up on occasion and bothers me when the airpressure changes fast. But I decided on day 4 after the surgery, when I started looking forward to taking the pain pills before the 12 hours was over, that I better kick that shit completely or I was gonna be a fucking mess.
I don't take shit. The most I have done was some "icy-hot" for a few weeks when I ripped part of the repair, and an occasional 40mg of aspirin for my blood pressure.
You grow accustomed to anything you take, and as such if it's a pain killer, your nerves get more sensitive.

Blame Cletus.

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That was the CDC shilling because they were going to have to have doctors buy them from home depot as they just plain ol' forgot to stock us up with their 7 BILLION dollar yearly budget. I want to know where the fuck all that money went.

Memes are real life user. More often than not. You should've lurked moar.

Based but gross

Then there is something wrong with you, or you use them too easily

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>If they were Kosher, at least they'd be headed toward having some recorded health effects behind them
Lmao fucking heeb. Keep telling yourself I'm one of the 5% of Canadian chinks in an effort to deflect from the fact that your country has a problem with fecal continence while shopping

enterprising young men. damn it, I have faith in this nation when I see that.

pic you posted is exactly how I look like rign now. wth

Why no video or photos coming from New Rochelle containment zone?

India was playing 55-d chess all along
Damn...