Are you hoarding toilet paper, Yas Forums?

No, I just started shitting in the woods on my property. Plus, it saves from having the septic tank pumped out next year. It'll buy me an extra six months at best.

like a big round computer but mounted in the bathroom
toilet paper is like really thin naan bread

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yes

Yes. I coom a lot so I need it.

Why toilet paper? Just take a shit in the shower and crumble the piece of shit with your foot until it goes down the drain like a normal civilized person

I keep my normal amount of shit tickets... no more no less

Indians unironically do this

Yes. Because it's fun

I've done this once when I was pissed up one night. Never again.

Nah, I'm selling it on eBay for $55 a 12 pack

Bleh bleh bleh bleh, pol?

>Not capturing normalfag slaves for the express purpose of shitting in their mouths and making them lick your butthole clean
Not gonna make it

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No

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>2020 super power
Just imagine that

I bought a pack of 24 rolls just in case. Not hoarding though.

Lol yanks don't have plumbing

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the idea is to not leave the house, friend

We bought a shitload in early February, enough to see us through until May or so. I doubt there will be many people left to worry about their dirty bums after that.

toilet paper is an extremely large item with an uncharacteristic low density.
(1 person can easily lift a car sized pallet of TP).

more so than any other item in the entire supermarket.

that also gives it 'virus trapping' properties.
small particles like viruses can easily become trapped between the layers of paper, and will be released again when you use it to wipe, or even when you just drop it on the floor at home after purchasing.

buying TP actually increases your chance of getting the virus 100 fold, and that is why they want you to hoard it.

everyone needs to take the blast the shit away with shower water pill already.

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As standard practice I always buy in bulk and always buy two when I only use about half a pack in a month. Like, I've always got some lying around... The last time I bought TP, it was some time in February and I bought a lot because I always already do/did.

So really I can actually go a few months without buying more.

>Why toilet paper?
here's your (You)
it has been answered a million times
>Just take a shit in the shower and crumble the piece of shit with your foot until it goes down the drain like a normal civilized person
ok you're joking but i took the time to look up pic rel so i'll post it

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the equivalent of 96 normal rolls, I'm told

Are the rolls not wrapped in plastic, in Australia?

yes, but the plastic is never airtight, they are not packed in nitrogen like food products.

also the word i was looking for is 'surface area'.

one package of toilet rolls has literally KILOMETERS of surface area for the virus to land on and become trapped in.

rubbing something with kilometers of surface area on your asshole during an epidemic is possibly the WORST thing you can do.

I hold my shits until I go to work. Really nice to take a dump around 9 AM after the coffee and hazelnut creamer kicks in. Usually take another one in the afternoon a couple hours after lunch. Then go home.

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wiping your asshole with toilet paper (let alone work TP that 100 other people have touched previously) is the single worst thing you can possibly do.

it is the equivalent to literally dragging your asshole around on the ground like a dog in downtown wuhan.

you can shit in the toilet, flush it, then waddle to the shower and blast the rest away with high pressure shower water.
stomping it is not necessary, and if any large chunks get caught in the shower drain, just turn the heat up and direct the hot water to blast the drain itself.

strawpoll.me/19527737

or i could just wipe with TP

150 rolls and 48 more on the way

sure... if you actually WANT to get corona.

Jes come an get it chico

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>saw tp 60% off while grocery shopping back in early january
>stocked the fuck up because I'd need it eventually

I'll sell it to ya but it wont be cheap

Fecal matter is going all over the fucking place with your disgusting injun standards just as much as simply flushing the toilet. If you got Coronachan already then it doesn't matter.

God damn filthy animal.

coof coof on all the toilet paper nothing personal boomers

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I'm hoarding bidets, man. Got hundreds of the things. Know how to install em too. You need a bidet? Hit me up when SHTF. I'll trade 1 for a weeks worth of rations, OR shelter for the night, OR anything that will make it easier to travel with 342 bidets. Stay safe out there bros

Toilet paper will be the universal post-apocalyptic currency.

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sell or burn them immediately and dont use to wipe.
corona is literally spreading in the west from toilet paper.

even if infected TP at the store were a real concern (you're being ridiculous) i have plenty at home already

theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/05/privilege-of-buying-in-bulk/482361/

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>car crash in small earthquake
Way to go....

TP will be $$ or pussy in my area

tp is that light breeze your feel on your ass hair as your pull up your pants
The romans invented the basis modern toilets when they needed reliable way to travel across their empire

i don't eat mcdonalds, so normally my shit comes out whole and only a few specks need blasting away.

livescience.com/how-long-coronavirus-last-surfaces.html

(You) (OP)#
>be me
>go to walmart today
>go to buy 1 extra package because i'm so efficient at wiping my ass i only use 1 roll a month
>almost sold out except for a few 4-for-a-dollar packs
>buy it because that's what i usually buy anyway because i'm a total jew with my money
next month
it's going to be so fucking hilarious when this whole thing blows over next month

I eat lots of spinach. A roll of toilet paper lasts me a month.

>be me
>go to walmart today
>go to buy 1 extra package because i'm so efficient at wiping my ass i only use 1 roll a month
>almost sold out except for a few 4-for-a-dollar packs
>buy it because that's what i usually buy anyway because i'm a total jew with my money
it's going to be so fucking hilarious when this whole thing blows over next month
poo bringing the bants

If you have recently developed a sudden cough and think you may have Coronavirus then I say take some cold/flu capsules and then ....

1 - cough and phlegm-spit onto a tissue and rub that tissue over haIaI meat products inside supermarkets.

2 - And cough and phlegm-spit on a tissue and use tissue to open door-handles to Pakistani musIim shops and pretend to look in and walk out of the shop, so youve infected the door-handles so musIim shoppers wiII touch the shop/door-handle throughout the day & will be infected and pass onto their family members and hopefully pass onto the brown MusIim community.

3 - Also wear one glove on one hand, spit & cough all over the fingers and rub the fingers over the cashpoint/ATM's/over the screen in Pakistani musIim nethbourhoods.

4 - And again, cough & phlegm spit on a tissue and rub that tissue over the gates and handle of the gates to a musIim school. Infect the Pakistani musIim school kids/rats
Then after continuously take cold/flu capsules to protect and heal yourselves guys.

Hopefully some brown musIims wiII die. inshallah . Peace out brothers!

even if you purchased it in mid 2019 and still have it at home it is bad, possibly even worse.

a toilet paper roll works like a tiny air filter, and you are wiping it on your ass hole.

Fecal matter scatters throughout the entire room even when the particles are so small you it is impossible for the naked eye to see. Even flushing with the toilet seat closed causes exposure. You did get toilet cleaner right?

its gonna be funny when you sell your ass for 4 pieces of toilet paper next month

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i usually buy 20 rolls of tp at once so i dont have to think about it for a few months
imagine the cringe and looks i got when i had to buy my usual supply yesterday