/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #1951 - PANDEMIC EDITIONS

twitter.com/MDCollege/status/1237848847696588801

Could you guys tweet my college into shutting down please? Help me out bros.

F for Belgian stonks seems like even beer isn't recession proof

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Ccp will collapse after the virus screencap this

Yas Forums losing their shit over a literal nothingburger

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WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
>WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
>WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
>WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
>WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
>WHITEOID NATIONS ARE GETTING FUCKED
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHA

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Show me your pink wojacks.

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Everyone is dead jim.

chad bitcoin vs virgin stocks that stop trading.

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I FEEL AWFUL

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>Ontario's 17 new cases include an infant boy under the age of one, considered a 'close contact' of a previously confirmed case in Toronto
cp24.com/news/ontario-reports-17-new-cases-of-covid-19-total-rises-to-59-1.4850163

I'm losing my shit over my country and economy losing their shit over this virus.

If the virus arrived, and everyone was chill, I'd be chill.

You can reply to this post ONLY if Corona-chan loves your country or state.

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Why do people have to be REMINDED to wash their hands, what the fuck?

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b-but muh ace2

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Where'd you hear this user?

>be me
>Scottish
>Sturgeon shits all over Boris saying he hasn't done enough
>Today she bans events with over 500 people
>Doesn't shut schools, colleges or universities
>Have back to back lectures tomorrow at uni

I'm fucking dead boys

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go shit in the street pajeet.

Macron is gonna announce emergency powers as of article 16 of the French constitution. In about 2h30.

I LOVE DEMOCRACY

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theguardian.com/science/2020/mar/12/coronavirus-most-infections-spread-by-people-yet-to-show-symptoms-scientists

>The majority of coronavirus infections may be spread by people who have recently caught the virus and have not yet begun to show symptoms, scientists have found.

Oh my god. Why no one realized this sooner!

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meanwhile you drown in shit, cow worshipping brown-black manlet

My plane ticket just got cancelled. Topkek
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, NOTHINGBURGER FAGGOTS??

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>Locust swarms across Africa
>Gret Depression-tier market crash
>Unstoppable plague sweeping the world
It's an honour to be shitposting ehre with you all,
when it finally, unforgettably happened.

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51 INFECTED IN POLAND AAAAAAAAAAAAA POLAND IS FUCKING DYING WE WILL TAKE THEM WITH US TO FUCKING HELL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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RRRWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Best God

Roll for israels vaccine to back fire and mutate into a even more deadly virus that only targets semetic and middle eastern people.

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So many good stonks out there, my bags are starting to feel heavy...

user that's a biologic

and those cost like FUCKING HELL

t: remicade nigger

WHO COUGH???????

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OW SHIT AHAHAHJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

LMAO SEETHING INBRED

I'LL SHIT IN THE STREETS OF BAVARIA WHEN ALL THIS SHIT KILLS ALL WHITEOIDS.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Not even reminded, but taught how to do it.
That's the part that convinces me people are fucking nasty and deserve this.

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You can only post in this thread if you're country hasn't gone mad and closed down all schools like Norway and Denmark have.

NUKE THE CHINESE

>normies need to adjust their lifestyle now
>cant handle it
>tfw neet and hiki will rule the world
feels good

BRABANT OFFICIALLY PART OF THE BASED CORONA-REICH

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Help

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you know that's the whole point ,right?
an economic recession was inevitable. Might as well blame this mysterious flu-like sickness that only kill old sick people lmao

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youtube.com/watch?v=BuEJ-E3rAdo

>First world leaders don't shut the borders or stop flights because "muh economy", "we're ready for it :)", "it'll go away in a week/month", or some other relatively insignificant reason
>Get infected
RETARDED ELITISTS ARE GETTING PUNISHED FOR THEIR FIRSTOID HUBRIS

YES

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I feel loved, thank you Corona-Chan

Domp it

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I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY

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Yes, the first time.

>memeflag
Sure whatever incel.

It's 99.9 percent for my age range in my country.

FUCK NORMIES
Fucking finally
They get what they deserve

Can't you pull a sicky?

Roche is giving it away for free now

>The Brazilian government has confirmed that president Jair Bolsonaro’s communications secretary Fabio Wajngarten has coronavirus just days after meeting Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago

AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Are you telling me people don't normally wash their hands?

CVG IS INFECTED
IT MOVES TOO FAST
NO INFORMATION WILL BE SPREAD BY ALL THE MASS INFLUX OF CITIZEN SHITPOSTING

Don’t worry niggers are immune

everybody in my family but my brother and i.

Even if you prepped you shold still be praying

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FUCK CHINKS
FUCK CHINKS
FUCK CHINKS
FUCK CHINKS
FUCK CHINKS

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This

>he coughed?

china.org.cn/china/Off_the_Wire/2020-03/06/content_75783296.htm

ilgiornale.it/news/cronache/coronavirus-napoli-farmaco-miracoloso-che-dimezza-tempi-1839698.html

>still taking flights to the EU
Absolute fucking moron.

FOR NOW

I’M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

NOOOON THINK OF ZE ECONOMIE

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Is there any source for number tests performed in each country, specifically Europe?

4,000 deaths.\

thats literally 15% of the world population

that means if you are read this there is a 75% you have and will die from the virus

>Happened
This is just beginning my friend. We have months, if not years of this to follow

good , let it die . hopefully the next intelligent species that pops up will take better care of the planet.

>Idea of a lockdown has been on people's minds for the past few days.
>Went for my final supply run. Wagies finally started panicking.
>Waiting in line for 45 minutes. Hear some distant coofs. superspreader.png
>Habbening all around me. Good thing I didn't care about how I looked unlike leaf user.
>Go home, go through decontamination procedures and go back to Yas Forums with 4 months of COMFY supplies.

Actually had a rush feeling all the danger around me.

Who's the flipbro who leaked the lockdown earlier? Got any more leeks for us?

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>Tfw Coronachan arrives in my town

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It's just a soothing NPC mantra for atheists

This. How do people not see the cracks spreading out left and right in the world economy and governments panicking and shutting down travel? Who gives a fuck about the virus when everybody is losing their minds??

Why reign it in when you can spread it around and cleanse the ghettos?

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Australian checking in here

How fucked am I pol

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My day job got rekt lol

How are you passing the time anons?

Domp eet again

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hand rubbing intensifies

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>fell for the college meme

U WOT M8?

I live alone in a house. I heard someone say that it's a good idea to open your windows to help air circulate. Wouldn't this increase my chance of exposure?

The happeningist happening that has ever happened is upon us boys.

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lmao yes
I hope more workplaces will turn into home office work and be less based on social interaction bullshit
fuck normies and fuck their lifestyle

>zeu économie
crache eet

not gonna lie, i literally never washmy hands unless I cook for other people

>not configurated
Is it down?
gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

BOG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THINK OF MY FUTURE
I DON'T WANT TO BECOME A CUMDUMPSTER PLEASE BOG HAVE MERCY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Maybe Trump got infected.
oglobo.globo.com/brasil/brasil-avisa-estados-unidos-que-wajngarten-contraiu-novo-coronavirus-24300704

Right, the virus is under-reported. The rates are probably much lower in reality.

>Israel 100
Nice. No deaths yet tho, they must be blowing through their reserves of infant blood.

4,000 deaths. can anything stop it?

Canada's PM might have it. The virus made it to my City. What in the fuck is going on.

Someone make a grindr profile that says
"TOP pozzed w/ Corona looking for bg ;)"

Also OP can suck my dick. Dumb faggot.

Well, you got your happening

Are you happy now when old people are dying?

OH NO NO NO

Spread it

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Why are you guys so retarded?
I posted TOTAL CASES, not new cases.

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Hazmat these dudes and make them the next thread header

did the virus fry your brain m8

I can't just self study into becoming a doctor user...

fuck no, even in italy you only get tested if you were in conteact with a case, im sure there are at least 100 more people around not registered

I’M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

I’M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED!!

Why are so many people hoarding fucking toilet paper and nothing else? Do they just plan to wipe their asses for the next few weeks and starve to death?

If you mean sooner than now, you just haven't been paying attention

I don’t know i have a big enough bag

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We're getting marshal law in effect sometime soon, hopefully our dumbasses of leaders can actually shut down everything properly without just causing a massive fuck up and more spreading.

I already am.

Yes, but I could be happier.

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yes, how would you wipe ass with that?

ITALY EXCLUDING LOMBARDY
>3,783 CONFIRMED
477 RECOVERED
>633 DEAD
>3,783 CONFIRMED
477 RECOVERED
>633 DEAD
>3,783 CONFIRMED
477 RECOVERED
>633 DEAD
>3,783 CONFIRMED
477 RECOVERED
>633 DEAD
>3,783 CONFIRMED
477 RECOVERED
>633 DEAD
>3,783 CONFIRMED
477 RECOVERED
>633 DEAD

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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I’M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

that's bullshit. keep the windows closed, seal everything that could let air in

I don't have any money anyway mr Bogdanoff

DID YOU BUY user?

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My wife is Chinese - she is telling me China are ordering men who recovered go to doctors to have their testicle and sperm checked

Were the memes right?

amazon warehouse employee here
how long until they shut that shit down and return to the NEET lifestyle

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I'M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

Philippines collapses before ccp screencap this

NOOOOOOOO

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that may last a week , get water as well

no. I also want my grandparents to be ok
but I dont mind the chaos in the world right now, interesting to see if social life will change due to this and how globalism will handle such cases in the future
>inb4 we will now have a global government to react more quickly to virus outbreaks :)

INDIA STOCK MARKET POOS SELF
ENDS UP IN LOO ANYWAYS

WE'RE ALL FUCKED, SHITOID.

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Truly, couldn't have asked for a better deal.
FUCK OLD PEOPLE.

ARE THESE NEW OR OLD?

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He bought ze dip?

THIS GENERATION WILL NOT HANDLE THIS WELL WE ARE YET AGAIN FUCKED OVER FROM CHINA TOOK OUR JOBS, AND NOW OUR LIVES AND ECONOMY

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my chicken tendie? ye

Where's the update from Italy?

PUNISHED BILL A MAN DENIED HIS BULL

HE WILL GET CORONA NEXT WEEK, KEK WILLS IT

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Why are people still travelling around? Who cares if you payed for a fucking plane ticket or are supposed to go to an event. It's fucking selfish to not consider being a vector.

>airborne virus
>its been extremely windy the last couple of weeks
its like god is playing a sick joke on us

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I'M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

I'M SORRY HAPPENER, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

>vienna sausages

You'll be ok. While these other faggots are weak from rice and beans, you'll punch through the front door and steal their shit with sausage power.

Did they refund you? kek

I'm laughing so hard right now bros. I got laid off a week ago, i've been sitting around my stockpile collecting unemployment. This is truly the American Dream, or maybe it's just my dream

>one week since first infected
>''official'' number almost over 100 already
>still letting italians into the country

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Does anyone know what it’s like in russia right now? Are they just ignoring and chadding through this

Never you will work in a hazmat suit before they shit Amazon down

>literally have to shame and peer pressure my coworkers into washing their hands after taking a piss
goddamnit, these """people""" are nasty

reminder Belgium will go in lockdown over the next couple of days

this

You know this is the end of the empathetic, helping white hand, yes?

You don't even test people for community spread anymore. Is this a trick to clean yourselves of the darkies? It might backfire.

Can anyone tell me what the testing procedure in Germany is? If you ask to be tested will you be tested or do you have to have been in contact with a confirmed case?

get dabbed on, normie

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if your ID has a number in it, you are already infected

I'd be really interested to see how effective fasting would be in fighting the infection. I've done it many times for personal health and the immune system gets absolutely jacked up.

And that govt will just happen to be set up in Israel

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Because people are selfish user.

If any of you want to make some easy money, buy old soviet gas masks off ebay with expired canisters for like 25 bucks, then post them for sale in facebook swap shops for 45-50. then you can proceed to laugh at the retards who bought the masks and still get infected since their canisters are expired

the open windows theory is only good if you are already with infected people in a room. but then the fresh air will only mix with the existing air and dilute the concentration of the viruses and/or blow clouds of viruses away, but you can still get infected

Slovakia after press conferece
>border checks everywhere, the only border checkpoints open are the main ones, rest is closed
>All international airports closed
>No international tranposrt except of supplies
>Quarantine for everyone comming from foreign country for 14 days
>NO ONE allowed to enter Slovakia unless the person lives here/has slovak passport
>All schools closed
>All social and cultural places closed
>Shopping malls closed at weekends, during week only grocery/hygiene/drug shops are opened
>all pubs, restaurants closed
>Interstate trains will travel in a "light" regime

We are actually doing something

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you do realize that your whole economy is based on scamming boomers and writing shitty programs for american and european countries?
if we die out, you either starve or have to eat cow shit for the rest of your life

SAUCE !?

Be easy, bro. This is still a good news for you: Corona will help solve the aging problem. Your sluggish gov can't resist the rape anyway, so just enjoy it

same for us, does it really travel long distances across the air? i don't really want to believe that

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in 17 minutes

2spooky

In my mothers womb.

I was going to off myself but now I only need to wait a little longer.

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Ok I’m gonna double it and get a few more gallons of water. Thanks britbro

I told everyone it was happening, but got infected anyway.

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Boomers are mentally retarded. I say that because there was a poll done here recently and the only people who don't think it's a problem are 60+

fucking damn it, were all going to fucking die user

This shits too slow when will we all die?

arginigger is back did he get out of ICU?

You get tested if you have severe symptoms or been in contact with a confirmed case.

I am like 70% laughing 30% afraid

POO ECONOMY IN LOO

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You can't get shit on your hands if you're white because all the shit would be on the toilet paper you use to wipe meaning there's no fecal particles to wash off. Pajeets wipe with just their hands and no toilet paper after they are done shitting on the floor.

wiveu no survivre!

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That's about 5 days worth of food, man.

Any it's just the flu bro bros out there still?

is this b8?

sounds like a good job for a faggot

nah, my company buys them for me, that's their problem. I was returning from my vacation but apparently my vacation isn't over yet lmao

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guys talked to my VRT insider i'm not kidding tomorrow morning Belgium calls of quarantine

A part of me view these people as subhuman mongs but another part me of me wishes I could be like them since my obsession with cleanliness gave me eczema

THIS

we are going to make it

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Yes

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Real death toll is closer to around 20,000

same lol but I am only afraid for my family

would explain why the virus is spreading so rapidly in our countries compared to others

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Living in a small shithole town in Scotland and every one I seen today has a coof, it's too late isn't it

Guys

What kind of people are cashing in on this crisis?

Is it true smoking cigarettes prevents the virus by killing it in the lungs before it can set

>be a happooner NEET with nothing to lose for years
>finally put life together, mother of all happenings happens

god damnit

>Not even a month in

We're going to have to start a deadpool.

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It can travel about 10 meters via air.

Roll

STEEP IT IN CHAOS

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>not /spreadingit/
The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth

short sellers

Your archive links dont work, breadmaker...
archive.is/dLh5c
archive.is/Wm2lO

as in total lockdown?

KEK good luck getting government to pay 1000 € per person per dose not to mention getting enough medicine since the supply is limited
T. Pharmafag

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Has China actually contained it or are they just making numbers up?

Based

>I'd be really interested to see how effective fasting would be in fighting the infection. I've done it many times for personal health and the immune system gets absolutely jacked up.
Do you mean intermittent fasting or just straight up fasting

lmao being a smoker increases your chances of dying from it you absolute brainlet

You know if you plant one of those Vienna sausages in a pot with soil you can grow more, yes?

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TRUMP EXPOSED TO CORONACHAN!

these subhumans will only do what you say if you are dominant or influenced enough to peer pressure and shame them to do it, there is no other way, I've tried talking to them about it with no result.

pointless unless all of the benelux (+NRW) goes into quarantine desu.

ave oui startide zeu failleure ?

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Yeah and going to a sauna kills it too

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Give me your most lewd CoronaChans

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BREAD THEME OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA
youtu.be/NmdjWTD_mow?t=47

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Thanks. According to the news Germany has drive thru testing centres but the news also says we have that in the UK but it definitely isn't widespread enough to matter.

>or are they making shit up

Welcome new fren

Predictions:
School systems and teacher’s union are toast. Home schooling, with subscription online services will compete to provide curriculum. Government will step in at
Some point to standardize basic curricula, but after that the market will decide.
Universities will follow suit more slowly, but will be mostly online, and the online offerings will be much more centrist. Ultra Liberal and Hard Conservative academia will die slowly. Trades and apprenticeship programs will be much more valuable for young people, but lifelong online learning will be the norm.
Church and community/neighborhood will be much more valued and common. Commodities will still be purchased online for delivery, but new rituals around morning coffee study groups will arise.
“Wave” feminism is over. Competence and wisdom regardless of gender will be the new norm, no on will care what your sexuality is, just STFU about it. Loud proclaimers and protesters will simply be ignored and shunned.
An armed society will be a very polite society.

>Is it true smoking cigarettes prevents the virus by killing it in the lungs before it can set
Why are americans so dumb lmao

Not even you can save them now Sminem, there's nothing you can do anymore.

It's so satisfying seeing nothingburger excuses drop like flies
>b-but muh more threads than deads
>b-but muh no white deaths
>b-but muh only old people die

Hey bros,
Had a call with my financial advisor today (based in NYC). He told me many big firms reporting internal infections in the city. Barclays was hit bad apparently. Corporate structures aren't even fucking with the government, just taking care of themselves.

This is what happens when you let a plebbitor run your general.

It feels surreal that we're finally in the midst of a full blown global happening and not just some larp like there usually is.

literality me with my +10 cases today

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>be better prepared to deal with the happening
>have more mental and physical resources to draw on
yeah, real shitshow

>Boomer here
>Not all Boomers
We just lurk in the shadows, browse Yas Forums and keep prepping while the rest of the Boomers are looking at FB

Iran graves.
They're not hiding it anymore, fucking hell.

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They're being reminded to wash their hands repeatedly and very thoroughly multiple times per day, and refraining from touching their faces until they are able to wash.

That's very different to just washing after you piss or just before a meal.

>remember days when it was 40/60
>it's 70/30 now
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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What, subverting your host country?

It can travel that far. Unlikely but better safe than sorry.

Reminder that DOGS CAN CATCH IT

DOGS CAN CATCH IT
>DOGS CAN CATCH IT
DOGS CAN CATCH IT
>DOGS CAN CATCH IT
DOGS CAN CATCH IT
>DOGS CAN CATCH IT
DOGS CAN CATCH IT
>DOGS CAN CATCH IT
DOGS CAN CATCH IT
>DOGS CAN CATCH IT
DOGS CAN CATCH IT
>DOGS CAN CATCH IT

Reminder that the only way this ends is with a BADGENIGGER KICKING YOUR DOOR DOWN AND BLASTING YOUR POOCH

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Where have you been, mate?

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How much Deenz do you have? I'm at 100 cans because my market sold out

I'm under the impression that you don't whip up biologics in a week. So there's not enough to go around any way?

Well I smoke cigs in the sauna. So I’m not worried

No, it makes you more susceptible to infections. The true joke is that it will keep the infected people away from you because smoking is nasty.
But fuck it, I'm already fucked after a decade of constant smoking, so I'll buy a few pouches and sit on the porch laughing at people choking.

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FTSE100 is the UK, though. FTSE MIB is Italy.
Both are absolutely hand-in-hand fucked, though.

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g-guys i brought some toilet roll
a-am i gonna make it? im gonna make it right?

Norway at +90 now

grim

Original

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Yeah, as long as it has Ethylene Glycol, but if the virus passed into your broken lungs without dying, you are double fucked

Where did you get this?

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French people voted for this, they deserve this !

Why hide it? The world is dying with Iran

Never forget. China fucked the world.
When this is over, they should be invaded and taken over so the world can recoup its losses.

Reminder:

Wash your hands every 2 hours.

Wipe down surfaces, door handles, keyboards, mice with disinfectant wipes regularly.

If you're going to work or uni, take your own keyboard and mouse in.

Do not touch ANYTHING that you don't need to.

Do not order or eat anything that hasn't been prepared by yourself. If you must eat takeout or at a restaurant, eat things that have been deep fat fried ONLY.

Do not eat anything made by immigrants (for us UK bongs that means Tesco sandwiches etc. are off the table)

Use your head, stay smart, stay alive.

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I FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT Yas Forums

All this push for hand sanitizer is a jewish plot to normalize rubbing your hands together!

It's all so obvious!

Oui. Ze failleure rahiziz

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Just mass message other students to not attend, email your profs saying you won't be attending and asking to do your work at home/ask them to video their lectures. They probably don't want to show up either.

Jokes on you! I was only pretending to be retarded

similar to the one in Italy, yes, though probably a bit less severe (at first)

I can confirm that it's happening

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we know nigger, bats can too
and depending on how the fucker mutates so will birds, beef, and pigs

>US 1,381 (38)
>basically no changes since yesterday

How?

Why would I wash my hands every 2 hours if I don't even leave home

Its not stacked much. People buy what they need usually. Those bags are fucking huge and take up aisles. But if 10 people come in to grabs a couple months extra paper the racks wil empty real fucking quick. Same thing with spam in hawaii

Universities in turkey postponed until 6th of april.
Im going home bros.

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NYC is about to suspend all Broadway shows for 30 days. My friend is a stagehand you heard it here first. They’ll announce it this afternoon.

roll

Better get rid of them

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kek

Let's see those merchant memes boys!

Maybe they can pray to Allah with their theocracy selfs.

no one is going to make it

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yeah and? I'm still petting based pupperinos