THIS IS MY LAST ROLL OF TOILET PAPER. WTF DO I DO NOW MOTHERFUCKERS??

Use your socks and become a 3rd worlder and just start wearing flip flops. Btw wash your socks after you nasty ass mofo

Who says you have to wipe your ass? Just take a shower. It's easy to schedule your shits before your shower. Hell, in hard times your grandpa just shit in the shower. Toughen up and learn to adapt.

I gave it to some spic in Iowa last year

F

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Newspapers, paper tissues, or just wash your ass in the shower, I guess. Consider buying a bidet.

Go wash your ass in the shower for a couple mins you mindless drone

Lemme guess, you didn't think to stock even a single bullet proof vest, did you? I'll be by to pickup my stuff in a few.

use your hand and lick your fingers clean

Use you underpants to wipe yo. y'all learn nothing. My mom used my underpants tow ipe my pooper den put them in the wash.

>8000 rolls
1/10 larp
i have over 500+ at least make it believable

can't americans into pussyphone?

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CAN I TAKE FIBER PILLS SO O HAVE ROCK HARD GLOSSY WIPEFREE SHITS???????

Order some online you dumbass

i can see the bacteria growing in real time, disgusting

I've been hoarding toilet paper and just wiping my ass with my hand. Saving rolls to trade for bussy and weed when SHTF. It's not so bad, you just need to shower after pooping. Also the pajeets at my office actually show up when I call with a problem. I think they know.

Toilet paper pills fren.

Don't forget to wash your hands after

kys idiot

Oh shit good idea
>OOPS SOLD OUT

Just wipe your arse with leaves.
Or just not bother and smell like a pajeet.

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Home Depot & Lowe's have a cleaning section with toilet paper. My local stores have it in stock. Check there.
Also, poop at work.

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if you cannot afford to buy a bidet at lowes for $40.00 - you’ll need to use plant leaves. good luck, user

you sound like an incredible loser that never gets invited to parties.

Wash your stinker you filthy animal

Should have stockpiled bro

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It's people like you fucking retards why my grocery store has no tp and we dont even have a case of cov19 in our city

>not having a sacrificial poop sock

Take that finger and shove it up your ass, you faggot cocksucker. We told you a month ago to prep but being you’re a fucking cunt, you didn’t. Now you can play “Smelly Fingers” with your tranny boi friend.

go back to the kids table child

whan am i some bougie nigger fuck off
we need to name this position in honor of all cockstaring roasties

>flag
i'm surprised that you can even reach your own ass

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Steal jewish books (‘history of the jews’, holoshlock fantasy, etc,) from stores and libraries and wipe your arsehole with pages from them.

And please post the books you are using here user.

BEHOLD, THE BIRTH OF A MEME!

if that taste is too refined for you, then wipe with the bathroom mat and jam it in the toilet and flush

do american really not wash their ass with water? I wipe with paper and then take a shower, but the paper is there just so its less messy. You know that theres still shit in there even if you wipe with paper? Only water will fully get rid of it.

Napkins in any restaurant is free, load up nigger. Use napkins.

When you don't have any one in your life to have sex you watch porn and use your hand,
not the same thing but you get accustomed and
it feels good
maybe you should watch some toilet paper commercials when you have to use your hand.

Toilet paper fantasies

You didn't try very hard.

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Like me??? I have none because I didn't panic buy like a retard

Simple, use the paper of lets play a game to wipe my arse. He should have lamenated it.

You're gonna have to drag your ass along the carpet, like a dog.

you were warned a month ago, why didnt you prepare?

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>being so late to the happening that even normies beat you to it
you failed and now you're going to die covered in shit

>WTF DO I DO
youtube.com/watch?v=BfJrhRBOTJY&t=1m15s

It's an ass bro, there's shit on it even if it's clean. Spraying shit water everywhere seems like a way to spread germs and disease.
*Checks covid map
Hmm
I'm not a nigger

Just hold it in you pussy

If you have a bidet use that

"Oh, no, Anons you're stupid for stockpiling TP"

"DNT stockpile essential items, what are you, a fag? This is a nothing burger, notice the way essential items are running out?"

Take a bath after you shit.

This guy doesn't know about the three sea-shells..

>LARPing this hard
You're going to go out with a gun, get overpowered in 30 seconds and cry the rest of the time

I don't understand how people run out of toilet paper. I've got like 15 packs. I didn't run out and stock up, o buy it when it's on sale like a normal person but it seems like most people only buy it when they need it. Retards.

countries without bidets should be bombed

Use books and newspapers

>It's an ass bro, there's shit on it even if it's clean
no there's not if you use soap with water. I'm so confident that my asshole is clean I could scratch it and lick my fingers

Preplets, when will they learn

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People are just remembering what happened to Venezuela when their economy tanked and everyone ran out of toilet paper.
That's the amount of confidence in things people currently have. Global markets are currently Venezuela-teir in their minds.