/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #1932

Can we get some tunes going in here, who is DJing The Happening: 2020 Corona Chan party?
thread theme: youtube.com/watch?v=mcMh6GZoFC8

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Seriously why are retards stocking up on toilet paper all the stores around me have none.

Is a squeaky clean sphincter the secret to defeating this?

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imagine the smell of coronas pussy

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!!!!!

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Pan faces btfo

*cough*

Are not there confirmed Iranians deads who were real Iranians and not Chinese?

redemption for what? Guy has been sliding into Yas Forums slowly for like 5 years.

>user why are you laughing? It's a pandemic!
>You wouldn't get it.

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there's no way we can self-test? absolutely no way? or anyway to look for symptoms in other people other than the standard flu symptoms?

ALL HAIL CORONA-CHAN
OUR NEW QUEEN!!!!!

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Would you get infected if you could have one night with Coronachan?

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>tfw Happening finally happens and I'm still living in big city
I needed more time bros

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ROLL CALL

>DANISH TIM CRUISE FAG REPORTING IN

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Will you guys miss your the older members of your family once they inevitably catch it? My grandma will probably get it soon so I'm mourning her already

they are betting about the stock(bet)market??

youtube.com/watch?v=sCx74U9T6PE
Has anyone noticed that Yas Forums is getting "slow" and that you barely see pastabros compared to some weeks ago?

have you guys finished prepping yet? topped off my prep with a shotty and a few cases of Lagu

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>and they are dancing, the globe’s surface glittering with the flights of the normies grinning hideously over their canted profiles
>towering over them all is coronachan and she is naked infecting
>her small protein lively and quick and now in doubletime and attaching to ace-2 receptors
>small and spiked and brilliant, like a mote black sun
>she never sleeps, she says
>she says she’ll never die
>she bows to the preppers and sashays backwards and throws back her lipid membrane and laughs deep in her ion channel and she is a great favorite, the sweet death
>she touches her vector and the symptomless vessel of her gift passes palely under the borders and she swings about and takes possession of another nation
>and she pirouettes and makes an infection, two infections, dancing and destroying at once
>her proteins are light and nimble
>she never sleeps.
>she says that she will never die
>she dances in light and in shadow and she is a great favorite
>she never sleeps, the sweet death
>she is in, dancing
>she says that she will never die

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Yeah I'm with you I use almost no TP, wake up, shit, shower. Never wipe my ass. My friend bought like 6 cases. He lives alone and has over 100 rolls of TP...

Now the real version

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They're just worried about running out during a quarantine. If they really wanted squeaky clean buttholes, they'd already have bidets attached to their toilets. Plus you use a lot less paper when you have one.

Fucking idiots here think that ONE droplet of a sneeze is going to kill you. It doesn’t work like that retards.

Stay inside. Wear a mask if you go outside. Stop wearing fucking hazmat suits to the grocery store.

Someone posted this in one of the first threads and I've been listening to it ever since
youtube.com/watch?v=4MFVhqcRpN4

That's gone from under 50 to 70 in 3 days

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It's too late newfags.

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based and boomerpilled

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retard

>if only you knew how bad things really are

>Stop wearing fucking hazmat suits to the grocery store.
why? it prevents spread of disease and raises awareness.

Nothing. You are young, you'll be fine. Just pull food and supplies off dead boomer's bodies.

Does corona sterilize males?

should have been don in wuhan 3 months ago

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if i wanted to fuck a whore id buy one

Holy shit. Where did you find this?

we're not even in days anymore with this happening. it's hours now.

t.gonna die of kung flu

REVERSE THAILAND, REPORTING IN

REMINDER
EVERY NOTHINBURGER POSTER ITT IS THE FATHER IN THIS WEBM
>spoiler selfish despicable cucks

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>cvg 1 january memes

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hopefully i get quarantined with some cute ladies and i can finally lose my virginity

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SARS-CoV did
SARS-CoV-2 just might

Just a flu bro

Northen Italian fag standing by , it's a good day to die

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I just use wet wipes but shouldn’t they spend their money on fucking canned food and water???? It just seems like hive mind retardation

>preppers will have a weaker immune system compared to us that get infected and survive

lol get rekt.

In reality paper products are one of the first things not being delivered from china and they are using it as an opportunity to shame preppers and make us look crazy.

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>stop wearing fucking hazmat suits

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An oxygen meter will let you accurately track how fucked your lungs are becoming until you fall into a coma.

average modern human

>noooo why are they cancelling my sportsball kids game shit I'm paying $500 to watch in person
>noooo why is someone telling me I can't go to a concert
>noooo why do I have to stock up on food. I want to live fearless
>omg it's trumps fault if this spreads, why didn't the government stockpile food for me, keep me from getting sick in crowds

I fucking hate modern humans.
Let every fucking boomer who goes to the grocery store or a fucking bingo night

JUST FUCKING DIE

I'm tired of these walled garden societies with helpless children mentality fucking adults who don't even have a basic iota of common survival instinct blaming their parent government for not making them behave.

Be sure to get slugs, I missed my chance.
Mossy 88?

What's the verdict, Yas Forums?

Was this divine punishment?

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OMG!!! This boomer look like a dumb fuck right now?

yesterday - it's just the flu
today - death rate will be low because Trump is taking it seriously with action

THE END IS NIGTH

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*passes basketball*

This world needed a population cleanse.

The sad state of Gary:
>3/2/20
>Dead: 3085
>lol, still only 3085
>How many days has it been stuck at 3085? Four days? Five days?
>3/3/20
>Dead: 3160
>lol, still only 3160
>How many days has it been stuck at 3160? Four days? Five days?
>3/4/20
>Dead: 3254
>lol, still only 3254
>How many days has it been stuck at 3254? Four days? Five days?
>3/5/20
>Dead: 3348
>lol, still only 3348
>How many days has it been stuck at 3348? Four days? Five days?
>3/6/20
>Dead: 3460
>lol, still only 3460
>How many days has it been stuck at 3460? Four days? Five days?
>3/7/20
>Dead: 3558
>lol, still only 3558
>How many days has it been stuck at 3558? Four days? Five days?
>3/8/20
>Dead: 3802
>lol, still only 3802
>How many days has it been stuck at 3802? Four days? Five days?
>3/9/20
>Dead: 3988
>lol, still only 3988
>How many days has it been stuck at 3988? Four days? Five days?
>3/10/20
>Dead: 4290
>lol, still only 4290
>How many days has it been stuck at 4290? Four days? Five days?
>3/11/20
>Dead: 4615
>lol, still only 4615
>How many days has it been stuck at 4615? Four days? Five days?

Jealous you don't have one

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>one drop won't get you infected, it takes multiple drops

Yup
Today is the day to stock up on perishables
Dry goods and consumables have been done for a while

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Women have to wipe when they piss

Just type french mongolia coronavirus on google kek

US deaths are mostly whites

Goddess, user. She is a goddess of new world.

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>Women have to wipe when they piss
technically they don’t *have* to

>Barack was the anti-virus
I want what this dude is smokin

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>Virus can live in the air for several hours

Yeah well so can I, checkmate nothing special.

I reckon he needs these handy wheels for his goal posts

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just got several boxes of silver bear 762 from this liqour/gun/boat/fishing/cigar/cheese store i know

FUCK THE MARKET
FUCK JANNIES
FUCK TOM HANKIE

KILL ALL BOOMERS
KILL RICH FAGS
KILL TOILET PAPER

NEETs SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH

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>spend 3 months telling family about virus
>"nothings going to happen"
>"it won't survive this heat!"
>"it won't get here"
>"you're paranoid"
>mfw first case in my city today
>mfw only prepped for me
>mfw they all die
fuck them, time to cut the bad fruits

Yes.

Washington state reporting, the time has come fellas

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Just like the cavemen did, all that cavemen toilet paper

Never mind, found the sauce...

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2258702/

These asshoes bioengineered a virus very similar to ncovid19, and they even published a paper about it a long time ago!!!!

He's gone past Yas Forums and to the loony bin.

>Netherlands 503
That's insane for our little country.
I fucking hate how most dutchies are treating it like its less worrisome than the sniffles. Our government isn't even talking about it all that much. Our prime minister just told people to not shake hands. (And then schook hands anyway)
We're fucked aren't we?

i NEED the 20k version

f

Don't be shy user
We come in peace

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We're a food exporter. No need to worry about food shortages at the moment. Plenty of people are stocking up on food, but we've got enough production to keep up.

Hopefully the resolution uploads ok. Fight the CCP propaganda. The "hospital" they built is made out of particle board like IKEA furniture. China is a failed nation and should be sold back to Taiwan.

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>All these retards buying toilet paper
>There's literally a sink and shower

source book plz

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A recession technically has nothing to do with the stock market. It means GDP growth is negative for a long time, which only happens when lots of businesses shut down.

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not even how it works

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camus, the plague.

A-user do you wanna drink my pee? Don't be shy about it

How are you,spaghetti bro?

New Jersey crew here! The fight ain't over till we're all dead, and there are an awful lot of us to kill!

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>webm
The absolute state of "white" men. No wonder there's so many lesbians and feminists in Murrica.

he will die in 2 weeks

Most US "businesses" front Chink made garbage

South Carolina reporting for duty. ALL YANKEES FUCK OFF AND DIE WE ARE FULL.

Aquafresh reporting. Our country is fucked, lol. We're too sober for our own good.

You can only spam the dam up for so long. Eventually even the normies find out.

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It's HAPPENING!!!!!!!
youtube.com/watch?v=eTbVIfqeDq0

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hirohito ate my pic

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Is corona what Ricky Gervais meant by we're all gonna die soon anyway?

North Carolina reporting in, I live in a remote cabin on 20 acres of land in the middle of the mountains. Come at me

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>he does not have a bidet
not gonna make it

WISCONSIN HERE, MAXIMUM HAPPENING COMMENCING

Got anything I can read on it? I only found that one newsweek article.

Since when are Yas Forums and the loony bin two different things?

Ontario reporting in. My throat hurts and I think I'm gonna die

Urban female friend asked me if she could come bunker down here in BFE. I told her she has to let me repopulate her after the dust settles.

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You might think that's the easy answer, but watch the 50mins of youtube.com/watch?v=0TG1EOx4PeA
You'll hear 5 stories of loved ones that died from natural causes WITHOUT BEING TESTED because they had no symptoms and no fever. They all did however have complications such as stroke and embolism.
LifeCare is an acute care facility that they said normally would have ~7 deaths a month, while not saying how that figure adjusts for peak flu season.
Nobody is wearing any masks despite some claiming they visited their loved ones daily. One speaker says the patients were not quarantined and could be seen walking around.
You'll also hear stores from 2 people that did have their loved ones tested, come back negative, and are still alive.
You'll hear weird stories like being called by a nurse to say their loved one is doing well hours after they had passed.
They have weird fake emotions or reading a script and spend a lot of time complaining about the CDC and Pence.
LifeCare is in King's County, a county with 3x the national average of Asians.

Lose weight you subhuman

It's all so tiresome

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future cesar, learn to make alcohol

>Empty days on whiteboard
Based and same

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twitter.com/codeofvets/status/1237839212562591744

Some reserve military units getting activated... Anyone know what that might mean?

how are your tactical cheerwine reserves looking?

I don't have it. I don't know if it exists, either.

Look into /cvg/ archives
It was in the OP for the longest time

>current state of Denmark
>last night Primeminister announces severe measures to prevent spread
>Pleads for people not to panic buy
>minutes later stores flooded
>shelves emptied
>normies in mass panic
>"there is enough food for everyone IF you buy like you used to"

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Wtf? What's the sauce on the webm?

I live in a conjested city full of ill obese people

The only thing I'm coming at is my judgement

sauce on this image?

Probably enforcing quarantines like in Italy

>MFW Mexico City has Coronita in the streets
>+5 cases this day
>i need go to the metro with millions of chilangos around

i just cant scape

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pretty much isolated and prepared all thanks to Yas Forums , Yas Forums is always right and the sound of the ambulances are like a wake up call

Montreal, we need more cases, can you guys send us more? That'd be great

Half Life: Alyx needs to come out already so I can just sit in my quarantine for the next month eating canned food with a VR headset on

Same. WTF are you carrying on about?

Chinks

This dumb nigger right here...

You think the chinks put these on for fashion reasons?

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This baby corona virus has only been in the wild a few months, bill. Give it time. You can't compare something that's already done to somethings that's just getting started.

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This is just a democrat shill narrative to put Hillary back in office u fucking morons, more people died of flu and nothing was done about it, u should catch it, itll strengthen your pussy ass immune system

What the hell is wrong with these monsters?? For what justifiable reason are they playing with HIV and corona viruses, to create unnatural and uncontrollable killer viruses? WTF

Read this about tinkering with covid
zerohedge.com/geopolitical/what-are-odds-timeline-facts-linking-covid-19-hiv-wuhans-secret-bio-lab
>inb4 zerohedge

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Based Mcconnell dropping truth bombs
twitch.tv/mcconnellret

jews will find a way to make money even out of this situation

Does anyone actually believe that China is having cases drop so hard? I could understand if they're fudging new cases but deaths are also dropping as well. There's no way they'd just let this shit run rampant and hope no one looks their way right?

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Chinese disinfection squads

Someone made a thread about it. It doesn't seem to be getting much attention because few can understand the technical jargon. Regardless of whether it's related to wuhan virus, I think it's amazingly evil they would ever do this experiment.

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No. The twinks will die first.
Uncle makes moonshine already, thanks to our prohibition heritage.
Fully stocked next to my Bojangles reserves.
I'll make a spot for you at my place if you wish, user.

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why do you love your abuela?

>The head of the medical association in the northern Italian province of Varese, Roberto Stella, 67, has died of respiratory failure after contracting coronavirus.

>He had been practising medicine at an outpatient clinic in Busto Arsizio, north-west of Milan, and Italian reports say he and a colleague were infected at the weekend.

>Varese is in the Lombardy region, which has been at the centre of Italy's coronavirus outbreak.

SHUT THE FUCK UP SHILLS

Vitamin C injections just work, its over

movie

Webm from height of wuhan
There's a set of 3?

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You're just jealous of my puts.

Just acquired a 250 watt unshielded mercury vapor bulb that spits pure UVC radiation to sterilize like a death-ray.

Should I make a portable 120V source to carry with?

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Hope you die

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828? I hope you live downstream from me when i start shitting in the river

>Corona was a chink bioweapon.
>What is shit we knew 50 days? Alex

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The Spanish flu came through to rural areas. You won't make it user.

>turtle man
>truth
choose one, putin's elbow deep in this one.

Also same, whats the news

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Rrrrrrrrip lu kaing

Good, let the cope flow through you

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we dying light now?

"this is the last time i will be hosting these awards."

I don't care if I die, but should I be making cremation arrangements or are they just going to toss us all in a hole?

>"there is enough food for everyone IF you buy like you used to"
So there is enough food for a week?

What are the proper canned foods to buy for an emergency prep?

Was thinking of canned tuna and canned chicken, but what of the vegetables? Which ones hold best?

It's from a movie.

It's crazy. I'm watching the news and seeing everything Yas Forums predicted 2 months ago almost.

He was always loony. What specifically did he do this time?

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>Cheerwine
Looks comfy

I can guarantee you that Russia and USA have worse diseases in labs that would make this one look like a fucking cold.

Takes like 3 I think

God I love cheerwine!

I can’t wait for shit to hit the fan I’m gonna start killing just for the hell of it

onion.
the 17th history said.

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Well, they do look pretty fucking good in it

stonks market
>crashed
nba
>finished
entire planet
>infected with airborne bat soup herpes
europe
>locked down and banned
global finance ponzi
>collapsing
capitalism itself
>dead

is it finally ogre?

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Is that will ferral movie premised off this one clip? It's almost identical to the trailer.

she is ded....th-thanks for asking...

>unshielded arms
enjoy your skin cancer

From some French movie a while back. Force majeur or some shit.

Viral recombination is a key term here. Positive sense RNA viruses can undergo recombination at high rates. Meaning they can essentially trade DNA with other viruses co-infecting a given host. There’s no reason to jump to the human-engineering assumption.

holy shit did you get here 30 seconds ago. i've never seen someone so late in my entire

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Rip Tacobro
fue un honor shitpostear contigo Cabron..

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I've got a whole bunch just to sell/trade, never underestimate how much a desperate normie will pay for something.

rare flag , nice vpn Xi

Are we going to enter another Great Depression?

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user, watch this

youtube.com/watch?v=CYr9N8u2nLk

I WORK AT A FACTORY THAT MANUFACTURES PARTS FOR EVERY CAR BRAND IN THE WORLD, THE HQ FOR THIS COMPANY IS IN EUROPE

HOW FUCKED AM I???? THE COMPANY'S STOCK IS DOWN LIKE 40% WE HAVEN'T NOTICED ANY SLOW DOWNS YET BUT ARE WE FUCKED? LAYOFFS SOON???????

How long until you see Amazon start to see shipping delays for Prime? I’ve been using that as my metric for supply chains breaking down when the titan of the industry struggles to keep up 2 day shipping.

Mumbai here
on our way to become the next major breeding ground, jumped from 4 to 70 cases in a week.

Illinois user here. It’s happening all around me.

REMINDER:
kung flu uses furin cleavage to get into cells.
Just like HIV/AIDS:
twitter.com/ZhouLabUCR/status/1236045387548393472

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Ausse sharemarket...

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Yes

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it hasn't even begun.

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Made a logo for you /cvg/

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>LAYOFFS SOON???????
lmao they are being discussed at this moment to plan how much fat can be trimmed to stay solvent

Thanks user

dear nothingburger agents and normie tranny fags.You win afterall despite the fact that we tried to warn people.Now the programming just started.You will be programmed to work and live strictly with goverments rules nomatter who you are and were you live.As always communist (this time china) took the bullet to make the happening so the reprogramm of humans gets started.We are ultimate cucked by a bunch of pedos masons elite(and who else knows) just by unleashing a man made virus that will reduce perfectly your mothers/fathers/grandmams/grandads and people with severe hell problems(and i believe this is just phase one for the years to come).I must confess that i enjoy all the crying of normies and traany masturbation machine anons because they believed (despite history learned humans the opposite) NOTHING EVER HAPPENS!we are like the homo sapiens colobus found when touch ameriva.The goverment gives you iphone.netflix,internet ,a job and thats all,you are happy.Money money money talks everywhere,no family values,niggers and fucked up people are loved as gods.How did you think that would work to benefit u white brother.So enjoy the shit show.At least i ll keep trying to make them difficult to achive their purposes by any mean.So don;t be fooled,they didn'y unleashed a virus just to kill some old people.when times comes you are next!The tiny freedom we had will be gone in the next month,a year and a half most.

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pls die

>kill off deadweight boomers and obese people
>open up all sorts of management positions
>fuck china
>return all manufacturing to the United States
This is like a gift from god.

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I can give you an economic rundown

We will have a slow down for about 2-3 months total. Then a significant and offsetting rebound.

Economically it will be a very short pause that for a country like USA will rebound near totally due to our economy basis.

This whole thing likely blows over in April.

if you have garden or house planting some vegtable and storage vitamin pills.
i eat vitamin pill in last month because of vegtable lack,chinese love green leaf vegtable

Thanks.

The zerohedge article is good, though it fails to directly and succinctly summarize in a normie-accessible form. I'm unsurprised that the zerohedge article failed to make much waves.

The fire rises, it will be a funeral pyre

Looks real comfy user. Images like these are why I love The South and will fight and die for it any day. I live close to the Smokies so I love getting out in there and hiking when I can. Plan on climbing La Conte if shit really hits the fan

Oh fuck guys I think a stock market crash just flew over my house

Don't forget to fill your freezer.

perhaps. the likelihood of major industries getting fucked completely is increasing by the hour

Most likely they are lying to save face. It does get weird when you throw in HongKong, Japan, Singapore, and Taiwan all having low amount of cases compared to Italy; I feel like all the Asian countries are all lying, but who fucking knows.

SAY IT AINT SO
I WILL NOT GO
TURN THE LIGHTS OFF
CARRY ME HOME

Does this retarded boomer not see how dumb it makes him look to compare the numbers of a completed epidemic with one that just fucking started? Anyone with two brain cells would look at that and roll their eyes so hard they'd start a tsunami.

will you attempt to appease the toilet witches for protection?

Spaghetti bros itt, how are you holding up? I have family in sicily. I'm worried about them.

Was h1n1 a bioweapon?
No?
Covid19 is
That's why the world is shutting down

Saved

You want as many calories as possible. The cheapest option is just to buy flour. Many people prefer rice. Then get beans for protiens and some other nutrients absent in just grains.

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any other tips and tricks for surviving the wuflu?

Hell yes, thanks user

Got it in SVG?

hollywood will burn to the fucking ground

don't get anything that is tomato based, since it won't last as long, I mean you can eat in a few months. You want peas, green beans.

Most businesses would collapse globally if they failed to make a high amount of sales for a single week, let alone 2-3 months slowdown and potentially a 2 week complete shutdown.

we export 2mil mask and gift a massive pack with 20k protective suit to italy,happier fag

Posse Comitatus act about to be suspended

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Guys I just want to say before this shit really gets real out there leaf and burgerland that this has been the greatest happening thread ever. It's finally happening.

WHAT? First Chinese flag I've seen in a month or two