/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #1905 - PANDEMIC EDITIONS

g1.globo.com/bemestar/coronavirus/noticia/2020/03/11/brasil-tem-52-casos-confirmados-de-novo-coronavirus-aponta-painel-do-ministerio-da-saude.ghtml
FROM 34 TO 52 CASES
WE'RE FUCKED

This guy is a bioterrorist

>TFW HE SAYS THE P WORD

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BROS CONTE IS GOING TO CLOSE EVERYTHING... WILL CORONACHAN BE OVER????

PUT THE CORONA FUTA IN THE BAG NOW

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>dow ended on -1467 and it feels like a regular steak

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>whoever is talking about possibilities is LYING

I'm gonna knock coronavirus the fuck out of existence. Leave it to me.

OMFG SAUCE NAO

LMAO ITS FUCKING OVER

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Grab them by the pandemic?

PANDEMONIUM

Denver International Airport employee sick
Mayor sent out this email to everyone
He's a maintenance worker

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nyheder.tv2.dk/2020-03-11-seneste-nyt-om-coronavirus

>I-it will die on hot climates!!!
>Brazil AKA hell on earth cases growing just like Italian cases a few weeks ago

3 TSA workers in San Jose, California are infected. All coworkers who had contact with them and the 3 positives are all under 14 day quarantine.
This is an international airport so they probably spread it quite a lot as everyone interacts with The TSA.
The TSA also currently is in a hiring and overtime freeze, so they have an incentive to keep quite about cases and not test.
npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/11/814331110/3-tsa-screeners-in-san-jose-calif-have-contracted-coronavirus-agency-says

we're already dead

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guys i finally got my shipment am i prepped enough

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Yes he is. Srap in it's going to be a rough ride

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Danmark er lukket

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR DET ER FLOT

ekstrabladet.dk/eblive/corona/

Did i get this right? this pandemic is sars the reboot aka sars-cov2 which is the virus that causes the disease covid19 (highly lethal pneumonia)

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Oh Bill...

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>throat itchy
UH OH

this is the end of capitalism

GOOD LORD LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. WE ARE TAKING OFF DAY BY DAY

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>government bans indoor gatherings of more than 100 people
>200+ people in the canteen at lunch time at work
>there still is a fucking salad buffet
nice

Are there any english language sources on the Denmark quarantine yet?

It was over months ago now is the time to enjoy the schadenfreude and smuggies

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youtube.com/watch?v=CBsFq4QtJKc
>2009 prophecy song

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Post updated Numbers. How many in Seattle, D.C., and NYC?

YES I sent in an app today. Hopefully this virus opens up the job market

If you don't buy a solar panel and battery now you are fucked, they cost 500 together and can power your computer and tv.

What if he's actually a doomer who wants to see the earth depopulated?

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>Dead: 4,607
lol, still only 4,607.
How many days has it been stuck at 4,607? Four days? Five days?

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who $INO

Wait for official instructions?

Wait, my ass.

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Sorry Italy bros
f

Trump will declare a war against Corona.

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youtube.com/watch?v=RZUA3EN8m50

Dark as a Dungeon - Willie Nelson or Johnny Cash
Oh give all those young chickens
some eel and some swine
cover it all with that wet market brine
Form it like a rabbit to steep in my bowl
Til the smell of this soup runs down to my soul

The doggies are cooking and bat in my stew
Where clean meat costs double, free gristle to chew
Where the butcher's blade falls, the sun never shines
Releasin' bats SARS, population declines

There is many a chink I have known in my day
Built phones for Apple, gave his whole life away
Like a fiend with his dope or my three penis wine
He grabs a koala and tears out its spine

The doggies are cooking and bat in my stew
Where clean meat costs double, free gristle to chew
Where the butcher's blade falls, the sun never shines
Releasin' bats SARS, population declines

On midnight or the morning, or the middle of the day
Its same to the chink who tortures away
Where the demons of death often come by surprise
Collapse of this buildin' and you're buried alive

The doggies are cooking and bat in my stew
Where clean meat costs double, free gristle to chew
Where the butcher's blade falls, the sun never shines
Releasin' bats SARS, population declines

I hope when I'm dead and the ages shall roll
That my body will rise up and shitpost on Yas Forums
I will look from the door of my heavenly home
And pity the chinese chewing cat bones

The doggies are cooking and bat in my stew
Where clean meat costs double, free gristle to chew
Where the butcher's blade falls, the sun never shines
Releasin' bats SARS, population declines
Releasin' bats SARS, population declines
Releasin' bats SARS, population declines

The absolute state of american politics
>Everything I dislike is a [insert opposite political stance] conspiracy

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>85 in Iceland
PROTECT MY BJORK

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I want to go back to talking about Brexit lads.

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ITALY IS GOING IN FULL STATE OF EMERGENCY

transcription with whatsapp audio of two doctors talking about their experiences in Italy (2 days old)
>files.catbox.moe/3ns6c1.mp4

a Channel4 interview with the ICU coordinator for Lombardy
>youtube.com/watch?v=9mrPHO-nkVE

Joe Rogan Experience podcast with infectious disease expert Michael Osterholm
>youtube.com/watch?v=E3URhJx0NSw

Sam Harris podcast with Nicholas Christakis, Yale professor and researcher of social networks, biosocial science, behavior genetics, and public health
>samharris.org/podcasts/190-respond-coronavirus/
Sam Harris podcast with infectious disease specialist Amesh Adalja
>samharris.org/podcasts/191-early-thoughts-pandemic/

Nice stats and graphs on hidden cases
>medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca

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He is beginning to believe

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Norway current total, 619
+217 new cases today

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the virgin Klopp vs the chad Guardiola.

i.4cdn.org/pol/1583956775843.webm

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I snapped my fingers and all the nothingburgerfags disappear

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If get Trump gets cykodine'd on national TV

I'm sure he'll have some really profound things to say

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>died: 4607
>98% over 60 y.o.

Literally a nothing burger

I thought you twats said it would be in the trillions by now?

Fucking retarded, the lot of you.

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SERBIA +6 NOW AT 18
SERBIA +6 NOW AT 18
SERBIA +6 NOW AT 18
SERBIA +6 NOW AT 18
SERBIA +6 NOW AT 18

What is your opinion? Is this a:
>event of the decade?
>event of the century?
>event of the millennia?
>extinction tier event?
>a nothingburger?

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First Montana Case and it is out of State.

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based, thanks lads

Yes

>Italian PM #453 resigns
The average Italian PM has a shorter expiry rate than my loaf of bread. It doesn't matter whether they'll survive re-election or not, they get a Senate seat for life afterwards.

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It was about to dive again to.
Me gusta.

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I miss being a normie

I was under impression it was mainly N Italy getting hammered by this?

We are fucked.

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514 INFECTED IN DENMARK NOW, SOURCE: politi.dk/coronavirus-i-danmark/foelg-smittespredningen-globalt-regionalt-og-lokalt

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The USA probably has the same or if not more amount of deaths as Italy.

The problem is that USA doesn't test people for the virus, if they die they just cover it up as "Natural Causes."

BREAKING Brazil stocks plunge more than 10% amid virus fears, trading suspended

Is it true that Corona-chan steals your coomies if she meets you

BASED DENMARK.

your job
will corona ruin it

>alcoholic beverage industry
>it's ogre

sause?

PROTECT BJORK

Right now, century.

What is trafficking children gonna do against a lethal virus?

Seems like Resident evil 3 is coming sooner than expected

more salt. i need the salt

What did they do to be called based?

test

gotta protect the LEGO sets

Is COVID-19 the greatest sequel of all time?

This is the smart play. They may survive.

Let's hope we're immune, because Corona's growing!

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NUKES WILL FALL ON CHINA

calm down biggot, it's just a flu.

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Sadly this century will be awesome to watch from a distance, not in a close distance. Stay away from all happening in this century or you will not live, this is the century of chaos and anger.

This will be once in decade event.

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Uhm pollards?

mobile.twitter.com/Freckles0224/status/1237418716956184579

Century-tier given the scale.

Would enjoy extinction-tier but that won't happen.

Did you calculate all that by yourself?

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SAUCE PLEASE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

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>only kills old people
a nothingburger

Looks like Italy's death rate is so high because they did only start testing when people started dying.
Meaning: Many cases in Italy went unnoticed for weeks.
>hug a chink

Pandemic of the Century, it might get as big as the Spanish flu.

What the fuck are some unventilated goggles models?

Feels apocalyctic lads.

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imagine the smell

>military
Unless the CAF collapses, I'll probably get sick while shoveling bodies

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cant wait for 150.000

Oh yes trully prophetic who could have predicted a pandemic back in 2009

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Ok Yas Forums, explain me this.

If Italians, as you say, are only black people, how come we have over 800 deaths meanwhile in Africa no nigger died?

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what is this illegible spaghetti

Actual true story inbound:

>be me
>17 at the time
>beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him
>pathological fear of girls since middle school, when some bitch mind fucked me
>have a younger sister, 16 at this time
>my sister is boy crazy, really wants to date someone
>announces that she's "seeing someone"
>father and I start discussing plans on how to shoot the bastard.
>few days later, brings the dude home
>tall, scrawny kid with brown hair and glasses
>visibly nervous
>my father and I sit down and tell him that he's "walked into the courtroom"
>discuss for a few minutes
>they go out
>dad tells me "it isn't going to last"
>sis comes home
>announces it was "fun"
>around a week later, my sister tells me that her bf previously dated a college girl
>she's worried that he secretly wants this college girl back
>about a week later, overhear a conversation between my sister and my mother
>"We're not a thing anymore"
>tryingtoholdbacklaughter.jpg
>tell my father this
>laughs uncontrollably
>mfw my dad predicted exactly how his daughter's first relationship would go down

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Think of all the fucking job opening. THINK OF ALL THE FUCKING JOB OPENINGS.
Holy SHIT I can live a normal life as a salary man in the new world. This is the best thing to happen in my 25 years of misery.

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52 IN BRAZIL
OH SHIT

I hope somebody is saving them and release them all as a memorial compilation book, when Bill Mitchell drowns from the Corona-chan's blessing inside his own lungs.

At the moment it is definitely on the decade scale. By the end of the year, it might reach century scale.

BIGGER

>virus only killing boomers
>average age in my industry is 65
>all of my competitors are going to die

Anyone else making out morbidly well?

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Teacher
Probably not once the mandatory rebreeding programs start

Did she died

this shit is probably already spreading like crazy in rural america. healthcare outside major cities is shit. the people in charge of health departments and hospitals are incompetent bureaucrats that will refuse to test or take precautions until it's too late. source: I live near sullivan county, TN where a case was reported. I have firsthand experience with the healthcare system locally, and I am telling you people that there is going to be a shitstorm in places like this

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Just learned about two cases in my university, (I'm a french exchange students) two italians.
I intend to flee of my dorm. Because I don't want to be in quarantine. And trying to break one in Russia gives you 5 years of jail.

wouldnt it suck if someone attacked a country under a total medical lockdown?

what's that machine in the background?

It infects anyone. Children are becoming infected now.

If that larp about the virus mutating in South America comes true, we are all fucked.

Poland did all that earlier

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yep young people get to suffer the fun of being sick over and over until dead

oxyhgen

Century or millennia
Extinction can only be reached by total destruction

I;m thinking about thos Beans

guys...
is it really happening?

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Corona-chan, pandemic can
She'll fill your lungs up with fluid
A fuckin' Lv.8 burger of infinite druid
Soon you'll be coofin' in your death bed
Burning up with her ass and tiddies stuck in your head
You wanted to see the happening end
But you're already dead

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World population is twice that of 1918.
And in terms of connectivity, well...
I'd be surprised if this doesn't outstrip every pandemic in history in terms of sheer numbers.

Has Trudeau talked about the virus without mentioning racism?