/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #1746

When the common american (Goblinus vulgaris) is put in stressful situations, such as receiving a 500000 dollar bill for 0.1% a single saline solution injection or nothingburger airborne AIDS pandemic he instinctively sharts as a way to keep predators at bay and obtain extra propulsion to escape danger.
Toilet paper has been observed to be commonly used in such situations as a means to wipe the shart accumulated in the pants as to keep the anal route open to perform quick consecutive shart propulsions.
Toilet paper is also believed to be tucked as an anal plug to contain naturally occurring shart emissions and increase pressure for stronger explosive shart propulsions.
Use of toilet-paper-enhanced shart propulsion in tandem with scooter-dependent locomotion has been suggested to give advantages in reaching cheap fat-rich products faster than lighter weight human competitors, increasing overall fitness. Sharting capability is thus a factor under heavy pressure of natural selection and a good candidate for studies on G. vulgaris speciation.
More research in transcriptomics of G. vulgaris is needed to understand patterns of differential gene expression leading to the markedly increased tendency towards toilet paper hoarding when compared to human beings. Understanding said patterns may help establish the point of divergence between modern humans and G. vulgaris, which has puzzled evolutionary biologists for decades.

Attached: 1583592629418.jpg (634x749, 151.97K)

>GERMAN FATALITIES?
Outbreaks in germany are in early stages, only few patients with developed disease, Italy had an undetected outbreak 1 to 2 weeks earlier.
Many young people got infected in Germany, in Italy eg. an early outbreak was in a retirement home.
Contact tracing is still possible and lots of asymptomatic contact persons are tested, so lots of cases are in early stages of disease.

>NRW LOCKDOWN?
NRW and Lombardy are somewhat comparable, but Lombardy had the virus 1 or 2 weeks longer. It spread there undetected for quite some time.
Detection in NRW was late as well, but not as late as in Lombardy and the case numbers are quite different.
There will probably not be a NRW lockdown for 1 to 2 weeks.

>COMPARISON BETWEEN DEATHRATES:

CHINA: 58591 resolved, 3070 dead: 5%
SOUTH KOREA: 166 resolved, 48 dead: 29%
IRAN: 1814 resolved, 145 dead: 8%
ITALY: 720 resolved, 197 dead: 27%
FRANCE: 23 resolved, 11 dead: 47%
SPAIN: 14 resolved, 6 dead: 42%
JAPAN: 82 resolved, 6 dead: 7%
USA: 32 resolved, 17 dead: 53%
UK: 20 resolved, 2 dead: 10%
data from 07.03. : worldometers.info/coronavirus/
>DATAPOOL TOO SMALL FOR CONCLUSIONS, DEATHRATE NOT ACCURATE AT ALL
>Lots of people probably have mild or no symptoms and are not even tested.

Attached: maps_1.png (953x1348, 259.56K)

What does the hotel in China collapsing have to do with Corona?

It's just a Fucking coincidence!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

We are so fucked, our health service almost collapsed last year from a regular flu season

Coronavirus is a nothingburger

Let me add on to that
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Attached: 1583056416159.gif (300x258, 3.32M)

>0 (zero) cases in Turkey
*yawn*

absolutely based

>Tourism in Orlando is expected to drop drastically soon due to paranoia.
Based now it won't take me 2 hours to get accross town at 5pm.

Bob an vagene

Attached: 1583639385368.png (552x524, 75.66K)

anyone got that gov link about all the medicines out of supply?

post yourself when AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Attached: AGGHHH.png (1080x1137, 479.15K)

nooooo the technological society wasn't supposed to collapse!!!111

Attached: 1568642971519.png (112x112, 18.47K)

Rate my band.
Bonus points for naming out first single

Attached: 1581490087145.jpg (1024x683, 133.44K)

dw.com/en/italy-imposes-region-wide-coronavirus-quarantine-in-lombardy/a-52679158

POST CORONACHANS
I WANT TO COLLECT THEM ALL

Attached: 1557725118535.jpg (1920x1080, 140.61K)

Look at this poorcel that doesn't get to eat with the cool kids

Attached: 1581536324746m.jpg (1024x933, 127.87K)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EVERY TIME I CHECK THE UK NUMBER RISES BY MORE

Why is God so mad bros??

Attached: 41iQiZoPniL.jpg (313x500, 20.82K)

Attached: 5G_body.png (640x316, 202.67K)

Attached: 20160415_General_Farina_during_the_flower_laying_ceremony_at_the_COL_Oskars_Kalpaks_Memorial_in_Latvia._(25895501354).jpg (800x1154, 119.29K)

person that died in CH today was a 76 year old man with other diseases so nothing to write home about

Collapse was always the destination user

Attached: involution.jpg (1280x924, 300.71K)

Attached: 1550705667750.jpg (1112x1060, 77.4K)

fuck coofers

Attached: coofer.png (512x425, 76.35K)

BURN THEM ALL!!!

Attached: 1546099852741.jpg (1280x1707, 665.22K)

>he believes his little dictator

Attached: 1574184781808.png (1062x1042, 291.94K)

Attached: 1581350396067m.jpg (1024x1024, 100.06K)

/k/anadian here, you need your PAL to buy an SKS. It's literally a 1 day course, and you might as well get your RPAL if you're doing it

>guberment still refusing to test pneumonia patients unrelated to travel for the virus

Corona Chan is everywhere

Attached: C0926CDC-7A65-4D25-8165-F8485E31D63D.png (1267x680, 473.37K)

Ive been thinking pol
These threads are essentially old pol (pre trump) reunion party, and nothingburgers are just the low iq trump posters that have flocked here since 2016.
During ebolachan in 2015, we were all on the same page. Even going so far as to create elaborate hoaxes about how the doctors were intentionally spreading ebola
Dont get me wrong, i love trumps presidency because of the lolz. But the people who come on here to suck his cock (especially in ptg) are ruining this board
Discuss

I have cronachan! what to do in order to maximize my chances of survival? I'm only 21 and I'm taking many vitamins and immune system supplements!

lmao same here
3 deaths all over 80
happooners btfo

coronation street?

Attached: 1575994195993.png (1596x803, 2.66M)

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Attached: 20200307_200321.jpg (2592x1944, 1.7M)

>mfw

Attached: 1583461322017.png (500x500, 165.63K)

Attached: 1583627319172m.jpg (934x1024, 103.68K)

I didn't die yet. Is everything allright, is this thing even working? Did it happen?

Stupid cockroach, you are too filthy to get infected. Also, try again next time when your roach colony reaches civilization lol

Go to Tel Aviv. NOW!

Attached: 1557691514075.jpg (350x437, 40.62K)

just a flu, keep going to your work.

>273 cases in UK

Attached: 1549548297263.jpg (626x545, 593.15K)

Big city anons, when’s everybody leaving in anticipation of quarantine?

I’m able to work virtual. Thinking bout headed to family’s place in rural Iowa next week.

But Ebola turned out to be nothing burger?

screaming

Attached: 1561306173084.jpg (656x500, 214.98K)

SKS is a non-restricted rifle, so it does not go into a registry. Restricted firearms, namely handguns or semi-autos with a barrel length under 18.5", do need to be registered and require an RPAL, not just a regular PAL. If you don't have your PAL now, it might be too late. Crossbows or antique firearms (pre-1897) are your best bet.

>1 pizza
kek they are fucking retarded

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE DEAD KRAUTS
YOU FAGGOTS PROMISED ME DEAD KRAUTS
WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS HAPPENING IF KRAUTS DON'T DIE

ANY PHOTOS FROM PASTALAND?

Attached: ESk7vFrWkAA0zta.jpg (900x1081, 82.82K)

>v-neck
is this the singing tranny

Attached: 1561208013359.jpg (957x621, 90.04K)

I can't, No edgy answers please

I'm thinking you discovered Yas Forums after 2014 so that's a Moot argument. Actual oldfags that were around for /n/ left after Yas Forumsharbor and GG. Not to mention the majority of them hated generals like this

Chin up, still only 2 deaths.

AIRBONE OR NAH?

>LOMBARDY IS ASKING PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS
>LOMBARDY IS ASKING PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS
>LOMBARDY IS ASKING PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS
>LOMBARDY IS ASKING PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS
>LOMBARDY IS ASKING PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS

youtube.com/watch?v=tDBc6Rcb9zU&feature=emb_title

sodomites, a new plague to punish New Gomorrah

I ate all my prep yesterday.

Attached: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.png (764x742, 290.31K)

Did Germany run out of test kits?

>Kikes trying to end europe
>chinks tryimg re-write the bible
>arabs destroying bibical monuments
>kikes calling themselves the chosen
>kikes stealing isreal
>faggot marches
So much more, it's only just begun

Attached: 1583260274758.png (1078x538, 591.94K)

I think Im having early symptoms and Im freaking the fuck out, Im having panic attacks boys I dont want to die

Attached: 55555551111111.png (128x128, 16.97K)

cnnphilippines.com/news/2020/3/8/Philippines-coronavirus-new-cases.html?fbclid=lwAR2

>8M
>Las Fallas
>Fiesta de la Primavera (Spring Break)
>Semana Santa (Hoy Week)
>Feria de Abril
Yep, Spain is fucked beyond salvation

>Japan is 1 month ahead of europe and us
>anxiety was here during the first days
>now it's barely growing especially the south
>people are taking precautions but as usual
>only 3 cases in my 4.5 mo pop district, didn't move for weeks
>if it was silently spreading or being covered we'd have hundreds or thousands of cases right now
>nice sunny and hot sunday
>lot of people in parks, kids playing, high schoolers doing sports, families walking
>toilet papel shortage only during afternoons

Have fun in your multiculti shitholes, I really hope USA burns.

Attached: gf03052019.jpg (1280x1005, 240.96K)

I know 4 doctors in Britain extremely well, they're 4 out of my 6 best mates from school, and they are all insistent that ít's bollocks' and totally nothing
Convinced it's how they cope with the danger from work

Attached: 1571125419712.jpg (685x886, 249.17K)

How many white deaths is l I care about

>be China
>attempt to rewrite Bible
>Ding dong bannu, time for wuflu!
When will heretics learn.

Attached: 1562784300517.png (900x803, 611.86K)

sure doesn't taste like a nothing burger

Attached: そうだご飯を食べよう (10).jpg (1000x1334, 1.03M)

obligatory.

Attached: 1582567212625.jpg (720x960, 144.93K)

see

All*

It still technically is. For how rabid and aggressively it's spreading, the global death toll is still minimal.
It's the economy impact the real burger, and the social chaos that will follow.

Attached: consider.png (800x424, 293.15K)

>LEAF

Attached: 15836093850590 — копия.jpg (1072x1440, 543.28K)

B-b-b-b-b-b-but my government told me that masks are bullshit and won't help and you won't need them!!!!!!!!

Going to give it until I start seeing shit like this pop up close to me.

But soon...

Attached: 6C3D4445-63EE-45B4-87ED-081CEEBFFC09.jpg (1125x1931, 408.99K)

ARE YOU LITERALLY SHAKING user?

Attached: 1572703428827.png (318x364, 161.56K)

Looks like everything is levelling off.

Attached: level.png (1023x762, 1.1M)

>FRANCE: 23 resolved, 11 dead: 47%
>SPAIN: 14 resolved, 6 dead: 42%
>USA: 32 resolved, 17 dead: 53%
They're the only honest ones?

NHS is a fucking joke

You haven't seen an angry God yet. He's only just getting annoyed now.

then buy more, fatass.

london cases ramping up, fuck london lets keep clean in the norf and let em die

Out of every 1 million people that get this:

800,000 will get a mild illness.
150,000 will get seriously ill.
50,000 will get critically ill.

No country in the world can support these numbers. No country. No the US certainly. No country in Europe or Asia. Africa? lol

Keep in mind that US has 350 million people.

If we do not quarantine and slow shit down we're all going to die from the strain of so many people getting sick.

That's why it's not the flu bro.

Attached: 1583441647058.jpg (1012x1024, 68.46K)

Reposten

Okay faggots here's the deal: Corona-Chan is supposedly a Chimera virus. Shit's fucked, yo, and she might have a twin sister or she is a two-in-one psycho cunt that can apply a second round under a disguise. Hard to explain but whatever. The real danger is that this shit spreads fast, kills slowly, and everyone fucked up trying to contain it without causing panic because of muh economic standards. Rich kikes and miscellaneous traitorous bastards. There is no cure nor a vaccine. Tough it out and pray you don't die. China lied and so are other countries.

Second, CCP and company are shilling majorly to cover up this monstrous failure. A nigga I know who works for a certain big company as a chemist was basically told to stockpile for 30 days but that's hearsay as I refuse to dox myself or people I know due to safety concerns. So here's another thing, since the 60s and down we used to teach prepping to an extent to people and kids. Keep a 2 week supply of basics and shelf stable foods plus misc items like medical and cleaning. Cycle in and out, buy shit as needed. This means less money wasted buying groceries and supplies. It also meant less time being exposed to sickies.

So ignore doomer and black pill faggotry and commie shills. Stock up now. You have exactly one week left before SHTF possibly. Get a 2 week supply at least to a 40 or more at most. You want shelf stable foods and food stables. I'll do a quick run down.

Get food:
- Bag of rice
- Bag of beans
- Bag of oats/barley/similar items
- Canned foods (fruits, veggies, meats)
- Boxed goods (sides, crackers...etc)
- Canned Soups
- Soup Stock
- Noodles/pasta
- Instant items (potatoes, noodles...etc)
- Powdered milk and canned milk

Get drink:
- Bottled water (45 packs are commonplace, get 2 per person in your house. So if there's 5 people, get 10 packs)
- Water in jugs (distilled...etc)
- Ice water/drink (these a fruit flavored and have nutrients and vitamins in them. Good to help recoup lost nutrients)

No, it's the only right answer

based

I was coming to Yas Forums during nigger stole my bike phase e.g. pre 2011 if I am correct. Left for diff. boards during/after gamergate and when magatards flocked in.

These threads are what Yas Forums used to be

Attached: 4NewPHCases.png (957x658, 179.56K)

Based BLACKBULL
MAKING WHITES SEETH OUT OF ANGER AND JEALOUSY OF YOUR HYGIENE, PLEASE COME AND FUCK ME DADDY

haha

m00t shutting down Yas Forums unironically killed /k/ and it hasnt been the same since.

Hey fuck off, v-necks are cool. I but all my shirts with v-necks.

Oh my god yes remember habbo hotel, we so oldfag, we so share identity together

>>nice sunny and hot sunday
It was cold and rainy today fucking proxy fag.

Reporting Yas Forumsacks

Attached: 1567016799425.png (933x1220, 1.88M)

>Stupid cockroach, you are too filthy to get infected. Also, try again next time when your roach colony reaches civilization lol
>flag

Attached: 1473162359505.jpg (258x360, 55.17K)

Attached: hamburger made of nothing.png (854x667, 400.73K)

California pandemic, now that's a show.

Attached: dangerously redpilled.jpg (600x5185, 2.32M)

>Still no deaths in Germany

What on earth?

Who?

Enjoy that second wave, bro.

someone post burgerland and Yas Forums infection rates pls

Attached: 883px-William_Hogarth_-_Gin_Lane.jpg (883x1024, 474.82K)

> Spain reports 96 new cases

FUCK!

The Fluzies

Attached: Random.png (800x1100, 1.48M)

>believing nip numbers
They are telling lies as much as China and the US. Hopefully the nips refuse you treatment, given that you are a filthy gaijin, and you die coofing

Attached: 1521059150679.jpg (381x556, 55.71K)

I can understand missing a '1' typing in 151. But how the fuck do you not see in on the graph. are you in such a rush to shit post.

Even worse 7 people reply without question.

Attached: stupidfuk.png (533x686, 16.44K)