Hambaga!

best bread on Yas Forums as always.

Ah
You are motherfucker?

Yes.

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the sleeve the fucking sleeve roll it up god damn fuck it's will stain fuck

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>Everyone says burg story is tldr
>yous are always negative
>no one ever reposts it in burg threads
Well too fucking bad you get burg story anyway

There lived a humble chef named user who loved to make burgers. He lived in a small town, and all the lolis loved his burgers.
He thought himself satisfied with this, till one night a spirit came to troll him as he slumbered.
The spirit bellowed before user, "I am da wise and bowerful grill-masder, heed my gall :DDDDDDD"
user looked at the great spirit sceptically, "Spurdo Sparde? This can't be real"
The spirit continued "I may nod be real, bud dreams gan gome drue :DDD" "I have wadged u for a long dime, u musd realize ur ladent dalent and forge da uldimade gourmed burg XDDDD"
The dream haunted user's mind, but he did not heed the call.
user would say, "Burgs don't need to be fancy and the lolis like them just fine, I'm happy where I'm at.

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But events would turn against user, chain-restaurants started appearing in his town and the lolis stopped coming to his restaurant
user couldn't compete with their prices and the rent for his restaurant was too great.
So user closed his shop, collected his savings and began to travel.
He visited Japan, Korea, and China. Continued to Thailand, India and Pakistan.
He experienced new flavors, new textures, in combinations he never heard of.
user began to experiment, fusing what he had learned with what he always loved, burg.
He met chefs along the way and exchanged cooking techniques.
He traveled to Kuwait, Israel, and Greece, uncovering techniques so powerful it would cause people to lose their clothes while in the throws of ecstasy from his fanatic burgers
In Germany he met a shadowy catgirl, she said "I challenge you user, if I can make a better burg, you must work for me, but if you win I'll replenish your lagging savings"
user was painfully aware of his finances, his savings were in fact exhausted and he was in debt. So user accepted.
user's techniques were polished, the combinations he used were born out of 10s of thousands of failures. The judges drooled at the presentation, the smell had them behaving like a pack of starved wolves, and so satisfying they all lit up cigarets taking long relaxed draws.
But the shadowy catgirl relied on techniques that are unnatural, the Judges hypnotized by her burger's smell. Flavors so strong the judges hallucinated they were in burgtopia, swimming in divine sauces and dancing with the finest cuts of meat, having the time of their lives.
The Judges where unanimous, the shadowy catgirl had won, so user had to work for her.

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The place user now worked was more lab than kitchen, the people there more chemist than cook.
The flavors came not from meat or vegetable, they were artificial, engineered at the molecular level.
There was no love here, their methods were cynical and efficient, for user it was Burger hell.
The shadowy catgirl's methods were ruthless without limit. Her secret ingredient, had been LSD and Coke.
For years user labored here, but he had a plan.
He challenged his employers, "If I can demonstrate a way to make burgs more efficiently than you I get to retire"
The shadowy catgirls looked at each-other and retorted, "But when you fail, you'll have to work here, FOREVER."
Who could make more burgers in 8 hours, user or their Machine.
It was an electro-mechanical monstrosity, fed vats of chemicals, corn, and whole cows, a gruesome automated process that ultimately led to burgers flowing off a treadmill.
user stood there smiling, he wasn't alone. The connections and friendships he cultivated on his journey paid off as an army of loli chefs was backed up behind him.
They grilled and assembled their hearts out, outproducing even the mighty machine.
The shadowy catgirls cried foul, "you can't do that, know your place, we are the rulers of the burg"
But user said "not anymore, Burger revolution!"

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The flames rose high from the chemicals, as they burned the fowl place to the ground.
From out of the chaos a discovery was made
As they ate the burgs that they themselves had made they found a new flavor.
Serendipity had blessed one of the loli chef's mistakes, it was a flavor like no other, burger ambrosia.
user returned to his town, with the secret to making the ultimate gourmet burg.
The chains folded immediately upon the opening of user's restaurant.
Loli burg lovers from around the world come to visit user and partake of his ultimate gourmet burg.

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tldr

Here's a text to speech link because webm don't do sound
text2speech.org/
enjoy you fat greasy burg faggots I love you{/spoiler}

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Raw egg on rice fucking Chinaman ting tang walla walla bing bang

oshi desu~

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No, no

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i like yo crocs g

Slambagah

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ＹＯＵ ＡＲＥ ＭＯＴＨＥＲ ＦＵＣＫＥＲ？

i'd be surprised if you were more than 11 years old