The first time in history where unemployment benefits are so good I'd be making more unemployed than I ever have having...

>the first time in history where unemployment benefits are so good I'd be making more unemployed than I ever have having a wagecuck
>I can't get fired for the fucking life of me

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How do I get fired without getting fired in a way that makes me uneligible for unemployment

my gf is kinda like this, but she is pretty cute and lifts
did I win

Evidently not.

why not

holy shit if only women like that actually existed I would sell all my linkies for such a creature (well maybe not all)

why does OP so often post infinitely more interesting pics? it’s on purpose isnt it, you dont really want bizness. that female is perfection if i could snag a virgin version

they do and they'll be less turned on if you sell anything for them

in case it's not clear, OP's picture is making fun of women like that. it's basically gender reversed simp. and feminists literally want to kill them. but yeah I kinda see why it would appeal to males...

oh it’s clear, but it’d be nice to have a cute femoid break the mold to get me free shit and care about me, i would even actually appreciate it instead of dragging them on

The sad part is that SJWs dont realize that if a girl actually was a full blown pick me, even ironically, she'd have most of the male population wrapped around her finger and literally willing to kill on her orders. Being a "pick me", especially when younger, is a backdoor into obscene amounts of wealth and power.

I dunno I just fucking hate this call center job and I'd rather do DoorDash for the next 2 months.

get fired. dont answer calls, be on your phone

Is OP pic from crystal cafe or some shit?

You either need to get laid off or furloughed. Firing makes you ineligible

My gf is built like the fertility goddess statue and acts like this. Not all it's cracked up to be and kinda annoying desu. Very clingy and don't know when to take it easy.

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you are lacking in the sadism department. they are fulfilled by their behavior being exercised.

Sounds like my girl. All women are nothing but balls of emotion causing trouble, but this is as good as it gets. Who would want some stuck-up, domineering feminist instead? Yuck

Incredibly based point. She's cooking for me tomorrow, I'll make to lay it on thick then.

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>Gender reverse simp
Not really, a girl would gain no status, wealth, satisfaction or career help from actually hooking up with a lowely simp. On the other side, if a successful man were to get together with a "pick me" girl, his life could be very enhanced by the support, enabling him to achieve even greater heights. Most women are burdens on their man, a negative vortex of attention seeking.

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Oops was meant for you

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I have one of these, super clingy, but she loves dread game, anal, and oral. She pisses me off alot when she gets extremely insecure but you can reign it in by being an asshole

>still wagecucking in retail
>tired of exposure to coofers and other scum
>if I quit won't be eligible for gibs
>no degree or training
>15k in oil and 10k in cash saved
what do?

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trust. i had one like that and she did best when i gave her constructive criticism, goals, advice, and just general helicoptering oversight. it’s work but they want more than anything to be the most useful version of themself they can be for you. i enjoyed it and we worked well

Fuck
But I don't think I can do this shit anymore. I just need to get through July then this lease is over and I can live for free at my Dad's.

I've bullied her into losing 50 pounds since meeting her a year ago in my quest to have the ideally proportioned slampig. I think the keyword I've been neglecting from your advice is the 'constructive' bit. Thanks fren.

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This girl seems based. They even made her a cute anime girl. What's not to like?

also, last bit of advice. telling them theyre doing just fine is detrimental. they are supremely self conscious and will assume something’s wrong that ou arent telling them. they will always feel they could be doing more, even if they are actually perfect. achievable goals they have to work for will make them fee useful and complete. good luck and hodl

How do i get a girl like this?

>Identify lack of father figure.
>Become father figure.

go to a flyover state and pick up a girl who literally begs for a man with testosterone. use bdsmlr and use the search feature to scan states. or go to third world country and take any attractive female, the life even a poorfag welfare cuck could provide would be godly to them

>but yeah I kinda see why it would appeal to males...

Yeah, because we're tired of being surrounded by hordes of acerbic and useless women.

Start wearing gas masks and full body biosuits to work. Pretend you can't understand a thing your boss or manager says. Make it impossible to communicate, out of an abundance of caution. Do not stop doing your job. Be the friendliest, most helpful, most autistic worker you can be.

Either you'll be safe from the 'Rona, or you'll be removed for a bullshit reason which is due to your obnoxious and justified precautions. Then you can collect unemployment and/or sue the shit out of previous employer for wrongful termination.

damn that picture is literally me

tits or gtfo

You can't collect unemployment if you're fired.

sharpie in pooper or get the fuck out

Fuck off kike. If you lose your job through no fault of your own (you were being safe and got fired), or you quit a job with good cause related to the work or employer (you quit because of potential 'Rona exposure risks, or you quit because your boss/manager said, "you can't wear that PPE to work"), then you can collect unemployment.