Please help

You need to go get serious help from a therapist. Most likely you’ll need meds, kratom and shrooms helped me. The world can be awesome or it can be shit, it is literally just a mirror of your projections. I get the brain chemistry stuff though, find some sort of chemicals that work for you - ideally prescribed by a professional. And stop the negative thought loop where you are telling yourself you’re a piece of shit. Start meditating, and good luck bud

Talk about it with your wife dude and suffer the consequences so you stop feeling guilty. You made this bed and now you have to lie in it too. Or whatever phrase. Have courage. At the end of the road it will be okay.

Cocaine, unironically.

And stop following these absolute idiot advices like TAKING drugs. I'm experienced with drugs and they are never the solution

Who are they?

Goals and purpose user. Without goals and purpose days blend into weeks into years. But with milestones here and there it becomes bearable. Also read the 4 gospels. Actually read them for yourself. That Jesus guy is based. He knows his shit.

>How do I make the bad feeling go away.

Thank you for the advice, friends. But aren't all those things expensive? I'm sorry but this situation has put be in the red, deep. Maybe I can get that sort of help a bit further down the line in the near future, that would be good

Ok listen to me:
Stop taking any alcool/drugs, completely.
Do phisical exercise, a lot of it, expecially walking / running.
Walking for a lot of time in natural places, it helps a lot
Check your D vitamin, in case it's down, take a supplement
Take ipericum herb
In a month you'll feel very good.

Grow up.
Only the self-centered and self-absorbed develop these kinds of problems, and then dwell on them incessantly. I suggest getting a life, and getting out of the house once in a while. Get some goals that don't involve solely just making yourself useful to amoral, undependable, and utterly valueless strangers, like corporate bureaucracies, religious cults, and bizarre ideologies that have no redeeming purpose and do nothing but focus on marginalizing human nature and humanity in general.

Do some volunteer work, get involved in real politics, like your local town or city's, and avoid the grandiose bullshit, like philosophy and other psuedo-intellectual pursuits until you can put them in some kind of relation and proportion to real life. Until then, you haven't the first clue of what is really important and what isn't. No, you're not all that much better than anybody else, whatever their color or other accidents of birth.

Fuck sitting around whining and neurotically analyzing yourself all the time, and get used to the fact that more often than not, people are petty and trained to look for flaws, not redeeming features, and that mentality has obviously influenced you and hence your own distorted views of yourself.

In other words just shut the fuck up with all the adolescent sniveling and whining about how you measure up to 'society', whatever that is, and accept that you ain't really shit to the vast majority of the world, you're not that important in the grand scheme of things just because you were born, and it doesn't give two shits whether you are 'happy' or not or about your 'self esteem', so either go out and make yourself important, even if it's only one person at a time, one day a week, or just sit around like some spoiled bored little Princess with 'nothing to do' and just suck air all day.

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Not sure about ipericum, but everything else checks out.

Oh, drugs work and are a solution, until they aren't (usually a couple of years).

Wish I used Adderall for my studies rather than taking them all the time and living on no sleep. Drug abuse speeds up the time from when drugs can mitigate a problem to when they stop working and become a problem.

I hope you can forgive me for this but because of bad experiences growing up, I cannot find anything in these gospels. I cant help but feel physically ill when I go into any place of worship and I will have serious issues with trusting any sort of priest or missionary until the day I die most likely. Even talking about it makes me unwell. For most people I think religion must be a good thing, but I fail to separate it with what it did to us growing up., That's all the detail I want to go into on that. I'm sorry.

Ipericum is great for depression, drugs are shit and should be avoided, expecially if they mess with the dopamine circuit.

user, what i said works damn well about the phisical depression.
And what's better is that it's all free or cheap (ipericum is just an herb, vitamin D is cheap)

About the psychological situation, idk, you could need to speak with some psychologist, maybe there are some working for pro bono too.
No need to do a deep work, it's just to talk with someone, this helps a lot too.

Most of these are things I can do immediately, thank you, I will do it.
Fuck it, fuck it, man. I'm going to do it. Emotional pain is temporary, everything is temporary. Why not make the best out of this stupid fuckingshit. Everything is wrong. But you seem to be right, at least to me.
I will pull myself up and from now on I will only focus on me and my family. I am owed that much

Dopamine fasting

Literally stop doing anything extraordinarily pleasurable until normal life feels exciting again

Good! You have to do them as often as you can (running/walking).
Even if in the first stages you will feel bored or you won't notice any improvement, this shit will gradually rewire your brain and you will start feeling better.

Hang in there brother. Wait for summer. Summer will make you feel better.

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Thank you all for what you have helped me with today. I have not found new hope, I think it is something better. I have found some kind of weird acceptance, I cant describe it. It's just acceptance or contentedness.

It's like all my problems just got a little smaller, and survivable.

You have frens here user, remember this

You are kind, my brother. I hope all of your dreams come true.

stick with us, don't lose faith, we are going to make it fren